TheSacredTurf
Reasonably annoying insta-fail frustration simulator in a nice setting with the lovely ability to hack slavers and racists to death with a machete.
Bit dull and pointless with even more Americans playing French people with English accents. Not really worth your time.
Remember that bit in Robocop when the fella has a bath in the nuclear Fanta and he comes out all melted with bits of him falling aff and he goes "kill me" or something and everyone goes HERE STEADY ON cos he's honking. Well, that's you, that is. That's you after playing this game. Bits of ye will be falling aff. They'll find ye with tears in your eyes and yer willy in a bucket.
Probably the most messed up, foul and depraved Assassin's Creed has ever been. This DLC has plenty of great locations, a short campaign and some real nasty shenanigans to offer. Avoid the usual side activity bullshit and just fly through the story. Good fun.
Just like a white chocolate Kit Kat Chunky this is way better than you think it's going to be.
2010
Nier is a difficult game to REALLY love.
While there's a great story, reasonably interesting characters, cool combat and even fun boss fights to be had (and I usually hate boss fights), the rest of the game unfortunately ends up becoming a tad repetitive with boring shopping-list side quests and far too much backtracking around four or five locations. Add to this the fact that there's no actually useful fast travel means your adventure becomes a bit of a tedious slog after a while. However, I did enjoy my time with Nier and would recommend it for those looking for something a bit different to the usual, generic western action games. Nier gets a lot of things right but sadly also gets a lot wrong.
While there's a great story, reasonably interesting characters, cool combat and even fun boss fights to be had (and I usually hate boss fights), the rest of the game unfortunately ends up becoming a tad repetitive with boring shopping-list side quests and far too much backtracking around four or five locations. Add to this the fact that there's no actually useful fast travel means your adventure becomes a bit of a tedious slog after a while. However, I did enjoy my time with Nier and would recommend it for those looking for something a bit different to the usual, generic western action games. Nier gets a lot of things right but sadly also gets a lot wrong.
Freaky, weird and bit stupid these games are overlong but daft fun. Silent Hill 3 is way better than Silent Hill 2 for lots of reasons but mainly because it has monsters that look like wee prolapsed bums.
2016
I've tried. I've really tried. I've put hours and hours into this. But The Last Guardian is a truly hateful thing. You may think cos it's got a big stupid dog in it that it's cute or cuddly. But the truth is that it hates ye. It doesn't want ye to have a nice time. It doesn't want ye to be in control of things. It doesn't want ye to have any idea about what's going on. It hates ye. It hates everything about ye. It hates your family and your clothes and the way you brush your teeth. It just hates ye. Fuck The Last Guardian.
2012
Very short puzzle game with a weird and unsettling but cool vibe to it. Not taxing at all, but it's an enjoyable twenty minutes of your time. Give this a go.
2016
One of my all-time favs. INFRA is an unusual and engrossing adventure in which you play as a structural engineer investigating seedy goings-on, solving problems and exploring derelict environments as you unravel a tasty conspiracy. Highly recommended.
Pretty tasty point & click adventure with a great story, likeable characters, fantastic art and a lovely soundtrack. Some frustrating late game puzzles and questionable accents aside, this is a surprisingly engaging game and worth a go if you're looking for a relaxing, original and entertaining adventure game.
2019
Dearie me. The first game was a bit guff but this thing takes the guff to new extremes. If you're looking for a gibberish non-story, tedious non-scares, obnoxious English children, a big deep gruff voice man, references to horror movies that'll make ye piss yerself laughing and almost non-existent gameplay Layers of Fear 2 is for you. It's so boring you'll chew yer own legs aff just for something to do. The only terrifying thing about this game is that they charge ye money for it.
Some games are made shite, some achieve shiteness and some have shiteness thrust upon them. Other games are just a fuckin' waste of yer life.
Never play Lifeless Planet.
Never play Lifeless Planet.
2017
As a Northern Irish person I can say that The Fidelio Incident is a game about Northern Irish people made by people who have never been around Northern Irish people. Apart from the actor playing the lead role who is actually from Ireland, the accents from the remaining cast are so appalling that it becomes completely distracting and actually hilarious at times. I mean, they're not even the right accent from the right country. That would be a good starting point, like.
Add this together with numerous factual and cultural errors and you've got a smelly pot of insulting diddly-dee Oirish bollocks (or "bullocks" according to the game's subtitles).
Then the game itself: a walking simulator and exploration game that likes to kill you if you try to actually walk around and explore anywhere. Largely pointless puzzles and annoying 'walking about in the dark without a flashlight even though you actually have one' sections really don't add up to a pleasurable experience.
It's only two and a bit hours long but honestly don't waste your time with this. Especially if you're actually Irish or Northern Irish and don't wish to have your day ruined by this offensive load of shite. Just do something else instead. Wash your windows. Clean out your toaster. Buy a sleeping bag. Anything. Anything but playing this.
Please.
Add this together with numerous factual and cultural errors and you've got a smelly pot of insulting diddly-dee Oirish bollocks (or "bullocks" according to the game's subtitles).
Then the game itself: a walking simulator and exploration game that likes to kill you if you try to actually walk around and explore anywhere. Largely pointless puzzles and annoying 'walking about in the dark without a flashlight even though you actually have one' sections really don't add up to a pleasurable experience.
It's only two and a bit hours long but honestly don't waste your time with this. Especially if you're actually Irish or Northern Irish and don't wish to have your day ruined by this offensive load of shite. Just do something else instead. Wash your windows. Clean out your toaster. Buy a sleeping bag. Anything. Anything but playing this.
Please.
1988
I played this when it was released and sadly had to abandon it because it was just too bloody hard. After 33 years I went back and, with the help of infinite lives, finally finished it. Was it worth the wait? Well... yes, mostly.
This game has probably some of the best graphics the C64 saw in its lifetime and the soundtrack is fantastic. Actually, the presentation is next to flawless throughout. The only downsides are the slightly repetitive gameplay and the almost impossible difficulty. Then again, being impossible to complete a game without cheats was pretty much standard for every title back then.
Verdict: it's alright.
This game has probably some of the best graphics the C64 saw in its lifetime and the soundtrack is fantastic. Actually, the presentation is next to flawless throughout. The only downsides are the slightly repetitive gameplay and the almost impossible difficulty. Then again, being impossible to complete a game without cheats was pretty much standard for every title back then.
Verdict: it's alright.