TheSacredTurf
2019
This is a good example of yer bog standard 5/10 game that doesn't do anything great but isn't a catastrophe either. Ok story, ok setting, ok cast but nothing original or amazing.
It does have big Wolf Kahler in it, but. Worth playing this just for a bit of Wolf.
It does have big Wolf Kahler in it, but. Worth playing this just for a bit of Wolf.
2019
Observation is a spooky but clichéd sci-fi tale where you play the part of a space station's computer while all sorts of cosmic shenanigans go down.
Nice premise and atmosphere but this game is ruined slightly for me by having too much aimless dickin' about and an environment in which it's far too easy to get lost and disorientated.
Give it a go if you can get it cheap, though.
Nice premise and atmosphere but this game is ruined slightly for me by having too much aimless dickin' about and an environment in which it's far too easy to get lost and disorientated.
Give it a go if you can get it cheap, though.
THEY PLAYED US LIKE A DAMN FIDDLE
I wish more games were like this. Short, focused, fun stuff to do, bit of story but not too much and you're done in a few hours. NEXT.
I wish more games were like this. Short, focused, fun stuff to do, bit of story but not too much and you're done in a few hours. NEXT.
2018
Farming Simulator 19 is a game that loves you.
It's a game that wants you to have a wonderful time. It's a game that puts so much effort and care into simply being LOVELY. It's a game that just does so many things right and so few things wrong. It's a game I've been playing for 140 hours and I've yet to see a single bug. It's a game that, despite minimal tutorials and a somewhat steep learning curve, is an anxiety-free and soothing holiday in the country. It's a game that somehow creates joy out of power washing your tractors or harvesting soybeans. It's a game that gives you a dog who bounces out of his wee house to welcome you whenever you come home. It's a game that has no loading times after the initial one. It's a game that looks great and has fab radio stations to listen to while you work. It's a game that lets you set the in-game clock to real time so you don't get stressed by the hours quickly racing by.
It's a game that some of you probably won't like but Farming Simulator 19 won't mind. It's a game that likes you. It's a game that loves you. Play it.
It's a game that wants you to have a wonderful time. It's a game that puts so much effort and care into simply being LOVELY. It's a game that just does so many things right and so few things wrong. It's a game I've been playing for 140 hours and I've yet to see a single bug. It's a game that, despite minimal tutorials and a somewhat steep learning curve, is an anxiety-free and soothing holiday in the country. It's a game that somehow creates joy out of power washing your tractors or harvesting soybeans. It's a game that gives you a dog who bounces out of his wee house to welcome you whenever you come home. It's a game that has no loading times after the initial one. It's a game that looks great and has fab radio stations to listen to while you work. It's a game that lets you set the in-game clock to real time so you don't get stressed by the hours quickly racing by.
It's a game that some of you probably won't like but Farming Simulator 19 won't mind. It's a game that likes you. It's a game that loves you. Play it.
2004
Disappointing sequel to the crackin' original. Quite a fun story but sadly it's ruined by infuriating and illogical puzzles and far too much wandering around. Such a damn, damn shame.
2016
Most idle games are smelly balls. Most idle games are a waste of your life.
Most idle games aren't SPACEPLAN.
SPACEPLAN isn't smelly balls. SPACEPLAN is magic.
Play SPACEPLAN.
Most idle games aren't SPACEPLAN.
SPACEPLAN isn't smelly balls. SPACEPLAN is magic.
Play SPACEPLAN.
1985
The C64 version has great tunes and three levels of dull shooty stuff. Whatever, it is what it is. Did I mention the great tunes, though? There's great tunes in it. And dull shooty stuff. But there's great tunes.
2002
How has this game been missing from my life for the last nineteen years?!?
As a fan of adventure games it's unbelievable to me that I've never played this before. Right from the start Syberia had me hooked with its great story, lovely art and sumptuous soundtrack. Rarely do I care that much about videogame stories, even in adventures, but this game made me really CARE about the story and the characters, so much that I was genuinely sad to see the ending.
Syberia has now become one of my all-time favourites, a real classic that I'm so glad I have experienced.
As a fan of adventure games it's unbelievable to me that I've never played this before. Right from the start Syberia had me hooked with its great story, lovely art and sumptuous soundtrack. Rarely do I care that much about videogame stories, even in adventures, but this game made me really CARE about the story and the characters, so much that I was genuinely sad to see the ending.
Syberia has now become one of my all-time favourites, a real classic that I'm so glad I have experienced.
1985
"They don't make them like this anymore".
Thank fuck.
Thank fuck.
1988
I played this when it was released and sadly had to abandon it because it was just too bloody hard. After 33 years I went back and, with the help of infinite lives, finally finished it. Was it worth the wait? Well... yes, mostly.
This game has probably some of the best graphics the C64 saw in its lifetime and the soundtrack is fantastic. Actually, the presentation is next to flawless throughout. The only downsides are the slightly repetitive gameplay and the almost impossible difficulty. Then again, being impossible to complete a game without cheats was pretty much standard for every title back then.
Verdict: it's alright.
This game has probably some of the best graphics the C64 saw in its lifetime and the soundtrack is fantastic. Actually, the presentation is next to flawless throughout. The only downsides are the slightly repetitive gameplay and the almost impossible difficulty. Then again, being impossible to complete a game without cheats was pretty much standard for every title back then.
Verdict: it's alright.
2017
As a Northern Irish person I can say that The Fidelio Incident is a game about Northern Irish people made by people who have never been around Northern Irish people. Apart from the actor playing the lead role who is actually from Ireland, the accents from the remaining cast are so appalling that it becomes completely distracting and actually hilarious at times. I mean, they're not even the right accent from the right country. That would be a good starting point, like.
Add this together with numerous factual and cultural errors and you've got a smelly pot of insulting diddly-dee Oirish bollocks (or "bullocks" according to the game's subtitles).
Then the game itself: a walking simulator and exploration game that likes to kill you if you try to actually walk around and explore anywhere. Largely pointless puzzles and annoying 'walking about in the dark without a flashlight even though you actually have one' sections really don't add up to a pleasurable experience.
It's only two and a bit hours long but honestly don't waste your time with this. Especially if you're actually Irish or Northern Irish and don't wish to have your day ruined by this offensive load of shite. Just do something else instead. Wash your windows. Clean out your toaster. Buy a sleeping bag. Anything. Anything but playing this.
Please.
Add this together with numerous factual and cultural errors and you've got a smelly pot of insulting diddly-dee Oirish bollocks (or "bullocks" according to the game's subtitles).
Then the game itself: a walking simulator and exploration game that likes to kill you if you try to actually walk around and explore anywhere. Largely pointless puzzles and annoying 'walking about in the dark without a flashlight even though you actually have one' sections really don't add up to a pleasurable experience.
It's only two and a bit hours long but honestly don't waste your time with this. Especially if you're actually Irish or Northern Irish and don't wish to have your day ruined by this offensive load of shite. Just do something else instead. Wash your windows. Clean out your toaster. Buy a sleeping bag. Anything. Anything but playing this.
Please.
Some games are made shite, some achieve shiteness and some have shiteness thrust upon them. Other games are just a fuckin' waste of yer life.
Never play Lifeless Planet.
Never play Lifeless Planet.
2019
Dearie me. The first game was a bit guff but this thing takes the guff to new extremes. If you're looking for a gibberish non-story, tedious non-scares, obnoxious English children, a big deep gruff voice man, references to horror movies that'll make ye piss yerself laughing and almost non-existent gameplay Layers of Fear 2 is for you. It's so boring you'll chew yer own legs aff just for something to do. The only terrifying thing about this game is that they charge ye money for it.
Pretty tasty point & click adventure with a great story, likeable characters, fantastic art and a lovely soundtrack. Some frustrating late game puzzles and questionable accents aside, this is a surprisingly engaging game and worth a go if you're looking for a relaxing, original and entertaining adventure game.
2016
One of my all-time favs. INFRA is an unusual and engrossing adventure in which you play as a structural engineer investigating seedy goings-on, solving problems and exploring derelict environments as you unravel a tasty conspiracy. Highly recommended.