UselessObject
2007
Do not let the guys who make unironic Walter White sigma edits on tiktok find out about this game.
This review contains spoilers
Wasn't a huge fan of this one, unfortunately. I'll start off with what I liked. The presentation is fantastic, as to be expected from Final Fantasy, the music and sprite art were very pretty. I think that this version of the game is the best-looking 2D version. The sprites are all very detailed while keeping the aesthetic of the original game. In regards to the music, I did prefer the original SFC compositions to the arranged ones, but luckily you can switch to the original game's music.
Now what disappointed me, I felt like the characters were kind of shallow and the writing was a little basic. Like the game will introduce characters that have compelling set-ups like Kaine and Rydia and do nothing with them. Rydia espcially dissapointed me. The fact that a big character development moment for Rydia happens off-screen drives me crazy. It just feels like the game was kind of speeding through story beats, there weren't a lot of moments where characters chilled and talked about their lives. I don't feel like I really got to know the party, I guess. And maybe that was expecting too much from this game, but that's the kind of thing I was expecting from a game that's so highly regarded.
I wasn't having a ton of fun with actual gameplay either by the end. The game has the first iteration of the ATB style of gameplay. And there's nothing wrong with it but there wasn't a lot of player choice when it came to party members or gameplay styles. I don't want to hold that against the game too much because it's old and I'm usually able to forgive JRPGS being a little basic with build options. But in a game like this, my enjoyment of the gameplay does have a lot to do with the characters and if I don't enjoy any of them the entire thing just kind of feels bland to me. I did like the ending at least, it was cute. And I think Golbez and Cecil's relationship was kind of compelling but like most things there wasn't a lot to it. It's possible I went into this game with the wrong mindset, it is an older game. And I don't want to act like this game's existence isn't really important to a ton of games I like. But what I played disappointed me, sadly. Bleh
Now what disappointed me, I felt like the characters were kind of shallow and the writing was a little basic. Like the game will introduce characters that have compelling set-ups like Kaine and Rydia and do nothing with them. Rydia espcially dissapointed me. The fact that a big character development moment for Rydia happens off-screen drives me crazy. It just feels like the game was kind of speeding through story beats, there weren't a lot of moments where characters chilled and talked about their lives. I don't feel like I really got to know the party, I guess. And maybe that was expecting too much from this game, but that's the kind of thing I was expecting from a game that's so highly regarded.
I wasn't having a ton of fun with actual gameplay either by the end. The game has the first iteration of the ATB style of gameplay. And there's nothing wrong with it but there wasn't a lot of player choice when it came to party members or gameplay styles. I don't want to hold that against the game too much because it's old and I'm usually able to forgive JRPGS being a little basic with build options. But in a game like this, my enjoyment of the gameplay does have a lot to do with the characters and if I don't enjoy any of them the entire thing just kind of feels bland to me. I did like the ending at least, it was cute. And I think Golbez and Cecil's relationship was kind of compelling but like most things there wasn't a lot to it. It's possible I went into this game with the wrong mindset, it is an older game. And I don't want to act like this game's existence isn't really important to a ton of games I like. But what I played disappointed me, sadly. Bleh
1999
This game is bananas!
^Initially that was gonna be my entire review, but this game surprised me without how much I like it so I'll give some brief thoughts.
Fantastic look and sound. I think this game has a real nice aesthetic even if it doesn't hold up as well technically compared some other games on the ps1(There can be slowdown at times and the draw distance is pretty low). The monkeys look really silly and helps make them endearing. The music by Soichi Terada is fantastic, really good. It constantly surprised me with how good it was. Crumbling Castle and the final boss theme are probably my fave songs from the game. The dub is what you expect for the time, pretty cheesy and stilted but it's fine. I think Specter's voice fits the character pretty well at least. The game feels pretty great to play, finding the monkeys was fun and replaying a level I already finished with new gadgets was really satisfying. It felt so good to skip parts of the level that took a bit of time the first time I went through with it. The camera did get in the way sometimes and the controls could feel a tad bit unresponsive at times even if I felt the game-feel was really nice overall. Some of the gimmicks like the boat felt kind of finicky too, but overall I really enjoyed my time with this game.
^Initially that was gonna be my entire review, but this game surprised me without how much I like it so I'll give some brief thoughts.
Fantastic look and sound. I think this game has a real nice aesthetic even if it doesn't hold up as well technically compared some other games on the ps1(There can be slowdown at times and the draw distance is pretty low). The monkeys look really silly and helps make them endearing. The music by Soichi Terada is fantastic, really good. It constantly surprised me with how good it was. Crumbling Castle and the final boss theme are probably my fave songs from the game. The dub is what you expect for the time, pretty cheesy and stilted but it's fine. I think Specter's voice fits the character pretty well at least. The game feels pretty great to play, finding the monkeys was fun and replaying a level I already finished with new gadgets was really satisfying. It felt so good to skip parts of the level that took a bit of time the first time I went through with it. The camera did get in the way sometimes and the controls could feel a tad bit unresponsive at times even if I felt the game-feel was really nice overall. Some of the gimmicks like the boat felt kind of finicky too, but overall I really enjoyed my time with this game.
Played this game with Supper's Unworked Designs patch. You can download it here.
I've wanted to play this game for some time. It was always one of those Sega CD games, that I would bring up to other people as an example of games that looked cool on the console. I would always think about playing it but I never would get around to it. It always felt like it existed in the future but never in the present for me, which is ironic because the game is like 30 years old lol. It feels weird to finally have played it. But enough about that I gotta talk about the gaaame. Did it meet my expectations?
I love this game, it reminded me a lot of Wonder Boy III: The Dragon's Trap. They're both side-scrolling action games with a focus on adventure, killing monsters, finding weapons and shops, etc. But Wonder Boy III was more of a Metroidvania. Popful Mail is a lot more linear, you mostly go from set-piece to set-piece beating bosses without ever really returning to previous areas. There are a few times where you are asked to backtrack but they're brief and unchallenging.
I think the game on the whole is on the easier side, though it wasn't so easy that I would have taken WD's difficulty changes lol. There is a noticeable difficulty spike towards the end of the game where the game asks you to do precise platforming. It's kind of weird because the platforming in the final area is way more advanced than any of the stuff you have to do before that. Thankfully you can use one of the two other characters, both of which are a lot easier to platform with than Mail. I think Mail controlled a bit awkwardly in general, but I ended up liking the momentum she carried when jumping. It felt really cool to have to keep my momentum so I could dodge an enemy while I shot projectiles at them. I, unfortunately, didn't really use Tatto and Gaw outside of very specific instances, but that was more of a me thing. I think each of them brings enough to the table to find them preferable to Mail game-play-wise.
The story is what you would expect from a 90s fantasy anime. Evil Overlord wants to take over the world and you have to stop them. I think where this game really shines writing-wise is the characters. I love Mail! I love her so much! She's just such a me-core character. I love how crass she is and how mean she gets with the other characters. And I love that she is motivated entirely by greed. She's just a funny little gal and probably a new comfort character tbh. I think Tatto is a good balance to Mail's high energy, but I wish they had more interactions outside of the animated cutscenes. It kind of sucks that he just disappears from the dialogue once he's added to the party. It's cool that he and Gaw have their own dialogue for cut-scenes if you play as them, but I just prefer Mail so it feels like they kind of disappear from the story mid-game. The characters Mail and Co. meet on their journey are all relatively funny and memorable. Slick has some of the funniest dialogue in the game by far and his English VA really kills it.
In fact, the voice acting is pretty good for a dub from the 90s. Mail and Slick probably have the best performances, but there weren't any voices I hated. Maybe because the story doesn't take itself too seriously, I can accept the goofier voices. Well, the script doesn't take itself too seriously in the English version at least. WD is a pretty infamous localization group and are known for being pretty liberal with their changes to the gameplay and scripts of the games they brought over. I've heard from people who have played both the original translation and the WD version that the original was already comedic in tone, so the way Popful Mail was handled doesn't bother me as much. But I know some others may feel differently and that's understandable. Thankfully, if the voices really annoy you, you can turn them off. I would like to play the game in its original language whenever I buckle down and finally get to learning Japanese (another future goal related to this game lol).
Would like to play the Super Famicom version of this someday since I hear that version has a different story, but for now, I'm glad to say I finally played Popful Mail.
I've wanted to play this game for some time. It was always one of those Sega CD games, that I would bring up to other people as an example of games that looked cool on the console. I would always think about playing it but I never would get around to it. It always felt like it existed in the future but never in the present for me, which is ironic because the game is like 30 years old lol. It feels weird to finally have played it. But enough about that I gotta talk about the gaaame. Did it meet my expectations?
I love this game, it reminded me a lot of Wonder Boy III: The Dragon's Trap. They're both side-scrolling action games with a focus on adventure, killing monsters, finding weapons and shops, etc. But Wonder Boy III was more of a Metroidvania. Popful Mail is a lot more linear, you mostly go from set-piece to set-piece beating bosses without ever really returning to previous areas. There are a few times where you are asked to backtrack but they're brief and unchallenging.
I think the game on the whole is on the easier side, though it wasn't so easy that I would have taken WD's difficulty changes lol. There is a noticeable difficulty spike towards the end of the game where the game asks you to do precise platforming. It's kind of weird because the platforming in the final area is way more advanced than any of the stuff you have to do before that. Thankfully you can use one of the two other characters, both of which are a lot easier to platform with than Mail. I think Mail controlled a bit awkwardly in general, but I ended up liking the momentum she carried when jumping. It felt really cool to have to keep my momentum so I could dodge an enemy while I shot projectiles at them. I, unfortunately, didn't really use Tatto and Gaw outside of very specific instances, but that was more of a me thing. I think each of them brings enough to the table to find them preferable to Mail game-play-wise.
The story is what you would expect from a 90s fantasy anime. Evil Overlord wants to take over the world and you have to stop them. I think where this game really shines writing-wise is the characters. I love Mail! I love her so much! She's just such a me-core character. I love how crass she is and how mean she gets with the other characters. And I love that she is motivated entirely by greed. She's just a funny little gal and probably a new comfort character tbh. I think Tatto is a good balance to Mail's high energy, but I wish they had more interactions outside of the animated cutscenes. It kind of sucks that he just disappears from the dialogue once he's added to the party. It's cool that he and Gaw have their own dialogue for cut-scenes if you play as them, but I just prefer Mail so it feels like they kind of disappear from the story mid-game. The characters Mail and Co. meet on their journey are all relatively funny and memorable. Slick has some of the funniest dialogue in the game by far and his English VA really kills it.
In fact, the voice acting is pretty good for a dub from the 90s. Mail and Slick probably have the best performances, but there weren't any voices I hated. Maybe because the story doesn't take itself too seriously, I can accept the goofier voices. Well, the script doesn't take itself too seriously in the English version at least. WD is a pretty infamous localization group and are known for being pretty liberal with their changes to the gameplay and scripts of the games they brought over. I've heard from people who have played both the original translation and the WD version that the original was already comedic in tone, so the way Popful Mail was handled doesn't bother me as much. But I know some others may feel differently and that's understandable. Thankfully, if the voices really annoy you, you can turn them off. I would like to play the game in its original language whenever I buckle down and finally get to learning Japanese (another future goal related to this game lol).
Would like to play the Super Famicom version of this someday since I hear that version has a different story, but for now, I'm glad to say I finally played Popful Mail.
2015
What a cool fucking game man. I'm just gonna splurt my thoughts out for this review because I literally just finished it, but man I really enjoyed it.
The story was a highlight, it starts slow but once you get to around chapter 4 it really starts going and I was equally engaged in both Kiryu and Majima's stories. Majima's in particular was a real highlight and I loved the way it ended. Loved a lot of the characters, and the ones that I disliked at first I ended up enjoying quite a bit. Kiryu and Majima might be some of my favorite male protagonists in a game. I really love the brand of sensitive masculinity that they portray in this game. They get their strength from protecting the people in their lives that they care about as opposed to just being strong for strength's sake. I love that.
The side content was pretty cool. None of it was too deep on its own, but it was just deep enough for the sheer amount of it in the game to be impressive. The dance mini-game is gas, I would play a full game of that tbh. Then there is Real Estate Royale and the Cabaret Club Mini-game. I wasn't a huge fan of the Real Estate mini-game, it just felt a little too hands-off for me. It was cool seeing the characters from the sub-stories again, but there wasn't much drive to play it outside of it being a passive money-making farm at end-game. The cabaret club is really fun though and the management sim aspect scratched a deep part of my brain lol. I definitely would like to play more stuff like that in the future.
The only thing I really didn't like in this game was the upgrade system for the combat? It kind of felt like the progression was wonky. It felt too expensive to invest in the early game and then by the time I had enough yen to afford it I just kind of maxed out the entire tree? Idk, I would have preferred a normal exp system here, but I get what they were going for thematically. Styles were pretty cool, I felt like I got use out of all of Kiryu's styles except the legend one. That one just felt like a slower version of Brawler. I realize the fighting style is based on how Kiryu plays in the other games, but I just wasn't really using it effectively idk. Majima's styles were even more of a mixed bag especially since I had less upgrade money for him. I didn't use Slugger at all. Thug I found useful during the early and mid-game fights and Breaker was my go-to in crowds. The counter that his legend style has is broken, so I used that for the end-game fights lol.
Anywho, this game fucks and I look forward to playing the original on Ps2 next.
The story was a highlight, it starts slow but once you get to around chapter 4 it really starts going and I was equally engaged in both Kiryu and Majima's stories. Majima's in particular was a real highlight and I loved the way it ended. Loved a lot of the characters, and the ones that I disliked at first I ended up enjoying quite a bit. Kiryu and Majima might be some of my favorite male protagonists in a game. I really love the brand of sensitive masculinity that they portray in this game. They get their strength from protecting the people in their lives that they care about as opposed to just being strong for strength's sake. I love that.
The side content was pretty cool. None of it was too deep on its own, but it was just deep enough for the sheer amount of it in the game to be impressive. The dance mini-game is gas, I would play a full game of that tbh. Then there is Real Estate Royale and the Cabaret Club Mini-game. I wasn't a huge fan of the Real Estate mini-game, it just felt a little too hands-off for me. It was cool seeing the characters from the sub-stories again, but there wasn't much drive to play it outside of it being a passive money-making farm at end-game. The cabaret club is really fun though and the management sim aspect scratched a deep part of my brain lol. I definitely would like to play more stuff like that in the future.
The only thing I really didn't like in this game was the upgrade system for the combat? It kind of felt like the progression was wonky. It felt too expensive to invest in the early game and then by the time I had enough yen to afford it I just kind of maxed out the entire tree? Idk, I would have preferred a normal exp system here, but I get what they were going for thematically. Styles were pretty cool, I felt like I got use out of all of Kiryu's styles except the legend one. That one just felt like a slower version of Brawler. I realize the fighting style is based on how Kiryu plays in the other games, but I just wasn't really using it effectively idk. Majima's styles were even more of a mixed bag especially since I had less upgrade money for him. I didn't use Slugger at all. Thug I found useful during the early and mid-game fights and Breaker was my go-to in crowds. The counter that his legend style has is broken, so I used that for the end-game fights lol.
Anywho, this game fucks and I look forward to playing the original on Ps2 next.
2019
Fun and satisfying gun-play, and a pretty good amount of content, but dialogue is some of the most unfunny stuff you'll ever hear even as far as Borderlands goes. I often wonder how much better these games would be if the writing was even decent.