I’m not familiar with the Japanese text of this game, but I’m sure this is Working Designs’ worst hack job. More concerned with puerile jokes than story, the game’s script frequently devolves into pure misogyny, and every adult woman with a pulse acts like a predator when around the teenaged protagonist. All this is caked on top of a RPG that just isn’t interesting to begin with. (Provisional score: 1/5)

Scholar of the First Sin might give players more of a reason to carry a torch, but suffers somewhat from rebalanced enemy placement, which may be more “lore accurate” but consequently frontloads a lot of the game’s difficulty. I still love it, though. Bonfire ascetics are a great mechanic, the multiplayer feels much more refined and worth engaging with, and the Sentier’s Spear lets me spin around like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. I was getting way into Huruomi Hosono’s music at the time and traded Dark Souls II’s ambience for the twang of Harry’s guitar, often leaving Flying Saucer 1947 playing on loop along with several of his other albums. Far as I’m concerned, that’s the true soundtrack to Dark Souls II. (Provisional score: 4.5/5)

Gonna be that guy that follows up his “Dark Souls II is good, actually” post with “Arkham Origins is also good and everyone else is wrong.” Perception of this game was mired by a prevalent and wrongheaded view that b-team games are inherently inferior products, and much like Dark Souls II, I’m glad it’s enjoyed a bit of a reappraisal as of late. A great game that is as good as any of the Arkhams before it. (Provisional score: 4/5)

The best thing this game ever did for me was get me a full refund and a free copy of The Witcher 3 as an apology. The botched PC release aside, I don’t think Arkham Knight is a particularly good game. I’m not a fan of its weak and loose retelling of Under the Hood, and the Batmobile tank missions are as frequent as they are uninteresting. People are on one with how Batman is written out in Kill the Justice League, but I couldn’t care less. Arkham Knight was such a disappointing conclusion to his story that I see no sanctity in Rocksteady’s interpretation of the character. (Provisional score: 2/5)

The best Uncharted game. The semi-open world is fun to explore, and when the game does funnel you into more traditional (and linear) Uncharted tombs, they feel as fully realized as any from the core games. I also love the interplay between the two leads, but hey, I’m an Uncharted apologist. I think it’s a good series that hasn’t had a bad game yet. Well… actually… (Provisional score: 4/5)

The worst Uncharted! What happened here? Countless plotlines dead end, set pieces are tied together by the thinnest and barest of threads, and the gameplay feels like Naughty Dog was stuck spinning their wheels. Is there a genie? Who knows! Is Drake actually a Drake? Who knows! Just shut up and stop thinking about it—Remember The Living Daylights!? Remember The Poseidon Adventure!? Are you eating fresh yet!!? (Provisional score: 2/5)

jerma_eating_whopper.mp4 (Provisional score: 4.5/5)

The first Yakuza game I played, and though I fell off it a mere 40ish minutes from the end, I did eventually loop back around to roll credits. I had a good time. Bailing on games close to the end was something I just did a lot back then. Rikiya kind of looks like Adam Carolla to me. I wish the Ace Man also got pushed into a bull ring and [REDACTED] (Provisional score: 3/5)

Sonic Adventure 2 sequel in that I’m forced to endure a bunch of playstyles I don’t like and sustain myself off the few bits I do gel with. Breaking out of jail and needing to navigate the city using a series of subterranean tunnels is good on paper but practically speaking, not my idea of fun. (Provisional score: 2.5/5)

While I'm filling this first list up with contrarian opinions: I like(d) Evolve! I thought it was a smartly designed asymmetrical game that was massively enjoyable whether hunting monsters in a team or biding my time as one to plot the perfect ambush. The reconfigured Stage 2 is something I could write a tome on, and while I appreciate it for briefly reigniting interest in Evolve, it also shed a lot of the core game's identity in the process and was ultimately abandoned in such a sorry state that some key character combos were mathematically impossible to counter. I've never had a game I've liked more get done so dirty. (Provisional score: 4.5/5)