Taking a quick glance at reviews for Quest 64 will show you that a very vocal minority of players badly want to convince you that this game is unfairly judged, a secret gem you've all been sleeping on because of bad word of mouth. Look, I can kind of understand why people make this argument for Castlevania 64, after all it is a maligned entry in a beloved series, there was always going to be fans lining up to defend it, and occasionally you can see the skeleton of a good game rattling around in there. Making excuses for Quest 64 is like saying you don't think your dog's crap smells that bad, which is why you let it shit indoors. In all fairness, Nintendo 64 fans have like, 20 or so games that are actually worth playing, they have to convince themselves that there's more than that. I ought to know, because I am one. I bought this game. I am no better than those I throw rocks at.

Quest 64 puts you in control of Brian, an aspiring mage who has to save Not Ireland from the evil Mammon. That's uh, all there is to it. There's not much of a story in Quest 64, the wikia for the game barely has more than two sentences of information to provide context to Mammon's backstory and motives. The gameplay is similarly starved for complexity. The battle system relies upon four core elements from which Brian draws his strength, though the pool of spells each element provides you is extremely shallow and never really amounts to much more than "You have a rock spell for damage. You have a rock spell for more damage. You have a rock spell for the MOST damage." I swear to you it's even less involved than Pokemon Red/Blue, a game that was by its creator's own admission meant to be children's first RPG; there is nothing to sink your teeth into here.

There's not even a currency system in the game, any items you obtain are just given to you. Probably the most interesting mechanic in Quest 64 is its experience system, which is essentially a watered-down version of Final Fantasy II's. Brian's stats build the more each stat is relied upon, which basically translates to letting Brian get his ass beat so his defense and health goes up. On paper it sounds ridiculous, but in practice it's just tedious. But then, Quest 64 is tedious by its very nature so I guess that tracks.

Even basic progression through the story amounts to doing the same thing over and over again, and it's never interesting to begin with. Some bad guy steals a spell book or other magic item from the lord of the current town you're in and this has prevented anyone from traveling to the next town, including you. Beat up the area boss and return the item then go to the next village where you will do the same exact thing. The whole game is this. Dungeons are empty and exploration is mindless, there's no interesting gimmicks to keep you invested while battling your way to the boss, and while I have nothing against dungeon crawlers inherently (I like the SNES Shin Megami Tensei games for chrissake), the lackluster battle system and virtually non-existent sense of progression makes the game a total chore.

There exists a mod for this game called Quest 64: Hard Mode which seeks to fix numerous issues with the core game. I am reminded of Project 06, which similarly tries to right some of Sonic 2006's wrongs, and that brings me to a fun little thought experiment I've been mulling around for a while. I call it The Hedgehog of Theseus. At what point do you fix too much of a notoriously bad game that it no longer shares the original's identity? In the case of Sonic 2006 I would argue making even one loading screen last a second less is changing too much of its soul. It is a bad game, it is for some the bad game, and I believe the only way to truly appreciate it is to experience it as it is.

Similarly, by trying to rebalance Quest's stat and experience system, by giving Brian a more varied list of spells, by adding more complexity and making every effort to create a more engaging game, you're straying further and further from what Quest 64 is. It's a bit paradoxical, but Quest 64 is interesting because it's so boring, a version of it that plays better would arguably make it even more banal. I'm not completely against the practice of modding games, good or bad. Streets of Rage 3 has mods that actually make it worthwhile, Contra: Hard Corps is amazing as-is but is improved by restoring hit points, but there are certain games whose identities are so inextricably linked to the state they released in that to assemble them into something better completely misses the point.

Quest 64 is a bad game. Long live Quest 64.