Cleared on June 19th, 2023 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 16/160)

What in Bald Mountain did I get myself into? When I looked at the game in a compilation of Sega Genesis games, I thought "hey, a video game based one of the most visually stunning movies of all time." A compilation of animation that synchronizes with orchestrated classical music and for the 40s, they were legendary and it still is to this very day. With all of the visual set pieces, making a video game based on the movie is a no-brainer. Hell, it would a total home run, a masterpiece. But oh my god, this game actually manages to be worse than it looks

I'll give this game credit for one thing, it actually looks like a 16 bit adaptation of the movie itself. Obviously it's never going to top the masterpiece, but it was serviceable and even made me want to play the game without any regards to how bad it truly is.

Some of the music is... ok I guess. Sorcerer's Apprentice would've been fine if the looping didn't sound as forced as it was. Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor (The Opening Theme and one of The Final Level themes) is not that unbearable, but it feels like it belongs in an 8-bit game. But everything else is... uhh... not that good and that's probably putting it generously. Some of the songs has this grating pitch that sounds even worse than an 8-bit game. Try suffering through the Greek Temple or Prehistoric Jungle. Night on Bald Mountain, more like Night on Fart Mountain! I know the Sega Genesis sound chip is worse than what the Super Nintendo would offer, but like, I've seen some amazing songs on the system including Sonic the Hedgehog games, Contra Hard Corps, and even in Mickey Mouse's case, Castle of Illusion sounded really good. And believe it or not, Earthworm Jim did their own take on Night on Bald Mountain and it sounds even better even if it was for only 28 seconds, so what the heck happened here?

Well, I'll fill you in on the details later, but right now, let's address how the game actually plays. The controls are wonky. At points it might not seem so bad when you are making proactive decisions, but reactive decisions, however, it will not always register on time. What's even more questionable is how the jump is handled. At first I thought you can't hurt the enemies by jumping on them like you could in Castle of Illusions and the only way to do so is through spells which are rather limited. It turns out you could hit them by jumping on them, but you need to press down while doing so. I might not have liked how Castle of Illusions did it where you press the jump button again while in the air to hit them, but to give it credit, they show you how to do it in the opening cutscene. I couldn't even figure out Fantasia's jump attack until I looked at one of the reviews down below.

So even if you manage to get used to the controls, you have to deal with a multitude of enemies and poor level design with jumps that can be very difficult to pull off and enemies positioned to almost ensure that they will hit you, and the ones that move can sometimes have unpredictable patterns. I had to use Save States in order to actually stand a chance.

So why give it a 1.5 stars out of 5? Referring to my ranking system, this should go in the garbage. Well, it came close, but actually, there was some fun that I had with this game and it's not in the way the developer may have intended. See, once you get past the first level, there is a fairy underneath the cave where a dinosaur foot is stomping the ground. It leads to an optional area where you can go through it to collect three notes with each of them giving you three health points, and 2 spellbooks which give you 3 spell ammo each. The developers may have intended for it to be an optional area that you visit once and even if you could visit it multiple times, the spellbook and the notes wouldn't respawn... except they do. The thing is, to proceed with the game, you need enough notes (20000 points) with the number varying by the difficulty you choose. If you complete the level and you don't have enough notes, you are sent back to the beginning of the level. If that sounds messed up, then just endure the first level and spam the caverns. It's bad level design, some of the worst in the game, but once you get it down, you can just farm spells and lives. That way, with a barrage of spells, the rest of the game becomes less frustrating.

I think the most interesting thing about this game is the lore behind the game's creation process. So Castle of Illusion was a success for Sega, and reportedly, they wanted to make another game before their license expired, but for some dumb reason, they put six developers who are ill-equipped to tackle a property as big as Mickey Mouse. Apparently they accidentally allowed Sega to adapt the movie, and when Disney's nephew Roy found out, he was pissed since he did not want it adapted as a promise to his uncle, and to find out that the game was this bad, he demanded a recall.

The fact that Sega had the Fantasia rights at one point, and instead of proving that a video game adaptation would've been amazing, decided to be lazy by assigning the wrong team, only to get royally screwed by the nephew of Walt Disney himself when the game hit the market is a combination of bizarre, tragic, and just hilarious. If there's a silver lining in this, Kingdom Hearts has represented Fantasia in incredible ways with Chernabog being the best boss fight in Kingdom Hearts 1 and Symphony of Sorcery being the best world in Dream Drop Distance.

Cleared on May 7th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 64/160)

You know, having gone through a good chunk of the Sega Genesis library, I've reviewed shoot em ups that go horizontal, 3D, ones that have you go on foot, and even one that goes diagonal, but barring that one level in Twinkle Tale, this is the first vertical shoot em up that I've reviewed, despite the system having so many that I haven't even catalogued them all. Raiden Trad is... ok, I guess. It's nothing special and it gets really really hard.

The first two levels start out easy enough. You still die in one hit, but if you're familiar with the gameplay style, you should be able to manage and if you do well enough, you can get some really beefed up weaponry. You can equip both a missile and a gun at the same time for massive damage output, but the bad news is that there are only two of each type and one is more favorable than the other. For the missiles, you have one that fires a barrage of missiles in a straight line for massive damage which isn't too bad if you end up getting it for boss battles, but the homing missile will fire rapidly and shoot down nearby enemies and the more you collect, the more missiles you fire. As for the gun, you have either a spread shot or a laser. The laser can be good for damage, but when it comes to dealing with enemies, it requires you to move around which may put you in a bad position if you're not careful which is why spread shot is more preferably as at max rank, it can cover almost the entire area which gives you more leeway to focus more on positioning. Much like with the shoot em ups, if you lose a life, you lose all of your powers, but the game does have a bit of a mercy aspect with a fairy that will drop off a few items that you can pick up to barely get back in power. One time when I was down to one life, it just gave me a max power of both the missile and gun which I suppose is supposed to be a last ditch effort. That's a cool touch if that's the case.

Of course, the game demands great precision with your dodges which becomes especially apparent during the 2nd half of the game and even beforehand, Boss 3 and 4 are arguably harder than even the final boss (well, the one before the credits, anyway). Boss 3 in particular is batshit insane with how it just barrages you as soon as you down its weapons in addition to the enemies assisting it. At least to the game's credit, you can utilize bombs to nuke all foes on screen. Oh, and if you aren't using save states, you don't just lose a life and then pick up where you left off, you gotta start back at a checkpoint which I suspect will be a huge annoyance when you think you're so close.

But one thing that stood out to me is that this is probably the first case that I've ran into on the Sega Genesis where it has a post game level that you can go through once the credits finish rolling, and it's fucking brutal even on easy difficulty. Enemies come in fast, enemies shoot fast, high in numbers, harder to take down, and there are points where its down right impossible to get through without your bombs and if you lose a life, you're shit out of luck because weapon upgrades are more scarce then ever before. Not only did I have to save scum to stand a chance, I came up with a new strategy called pause scumming where as soon as the foe shoots, you pause, then you analyze where you can dodge and just go there. It is a useful tactic if you're playing on original hardware. In fact, you're going to need it especially even if you can get to the superboss by some miracle. It's projectiles are already one of the more difficult to avoid, but it takes so much damage and the more damage it takes, the more aggressive its attacks get shooting more space trash at you and just shooting from its mouth and whatever turrets it has left.

The game also gets negative points for having only two level tracks that rotate between 8 levels, the special level doesn't get its own track, and neither the final boss nor the superboss gets its own boss theme either. It's just the normal boss theme.

Overall, it's just a run of the mill vertical shooter. I imagine there are better ones out there in the Genesis line-up.

Cleared on May 9th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 65/160)

Mechanically, this might be my favorite shoot em up out of what I've played so far, but holy shit is it hard. And not always in a good way even with the tools that this game gives me.

What Eliminate Down proposes for its gameplay style is that you already have all of your weapons by default that you can switch to at anytime instead of having to collect a power-up and then stick to it until you can find another. You have a forward shot, missiles that cover both up and down direction at the same time, and a backward shot. This is actually really cool, and I didn't need to stress over figuring out what this weapon does or picking the wrong weapon at the wrong time. The only minor problem is that they have two buttons for weapon swap and you mean to tell me I have to cycle through the missiles before I can cycle to the backshot? Well, at least you can tap the weapon swap button twice, and you can get it. Another cool thing they did is the same idea that Whip Rush brought with being able to control speed, but you do that via pause menu. This gives you more time to plan your next move. If there's a series of tight corridors coming up, just switch to slower speeds. When you got a bunch of enemies to barrage, just switch to faster speeds. The caveat is that there are no bombs or ultimate attacks, but you do acquire shields to withstand a few hits and power-ups that empower your weapons, and it doesn't take long to get to Level 3 and good news is that you only lose one level when you lose a life and it keeps all the power points you've collected, so if you collected 4 P at Level 3, then lose a life, then just collect one P and you're back at Level 3.

All that aside, this game can still seriously bullshit you in the worst ways and that gets especially apparent during the game's second half. There are points in the game where I got ambushed by traps or unexpected shots that gave me almost no time to react not to mention just straight up difficult shots to avoid in general as well as unfair enemy placement like at the start of Stage 7. The bosses are also difficult, but you can figure them out.

The presentation for the game is really good. I think the soundtrack is great, and the grotesque alien aesthetic is well done. The fourth mini-boss was fucking weird with its penis attack... so that's why it never got localized in the first place. Also, this game actually has a dedicated final boss theme, and that always excites me since there are usually no guarantees that a Sega Genesis game will even have one.

Eliminate Down in a way represents some of the best and worst of the schmup genre. It's weapon swapping and speed shifting helps to give this game some variety as well as overcome situations in front of you, but those situations in question have reached points of being really unfair. Thankfully, the fun factor kept me from being bored or driving me mad. Is it a game that I'll come back to for another round? Maybe. If nothing else, there's a fun little minigame in the options.

Played on May 15th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 69/160)

Originally, this game was not on my Sega Genesis Challenge list, but after the terribly unfun time I had with Strider, I swapped out Strider's Return with this very interesting take on the typical sports game.

Now, I really don't care for the more "grounded in reality" sports games like Madden, FIFA, or NBA. They are insanely bloated in the mainstream marketing with their yearly releases, and I just think they are boring. It's when there's some kind of fantasy catch to it that makes it more exciting. Mutant League Hockey is one of those games where it takes the simple game of hockey and throws monsters into the ring with gore, hazards, and all kinds of dangerous plays.

So the game of hockey goes like this, you have a puck, you have to secure it and get it to the goal while maneuvering against your foe and bypassing the goalie. This is easier said than done when they can also punch you to the ground which you can to, but they can also intercept your shots.

What makes it stand out is more than just aesthetic, but also the arsenal you have on hand. You can call some nasty plays which include exploding pucks to blow up in the enemies face, you can waste the goalie to make it easier to make the shot, you can confuse the enemies, and much more depending on the team you have.

The team may seem cosmetic on the surface, but really, each of the players it houses have individual stats with some being better than others. Some of them are intentionally designed to be trash like the Mighty Weenies, but others are designed to be so good they can't even play in playoffs such as the All Stars. In a way, it's kinda like deciding what difficulty you want to play on.

The one thing that I'm unsure of about this game is playing with penalties on because while it does seem more balanced to prevent cheesy strategies, it's often difficult to determine what conditions cause penalties and in a game as rough as this, it kinda feels undermining of the whole point of the game. It does encourage you to utilize in special plays like bribing the referee or even outright killing him, but it actively discourages nasty plays because if you kill the goalie, the player that delivered the killing blow ends up penalized. You can also set how vulnerable to death each person is as Level 1 will ensure that almost everyone survives, but Level 5 will more likely cause a forfeit to decide a game.

Another thing I find odd is that the NPCs will never use any special plays themselves even with penalties off which seems to give you more of the upper hand against them. Not sure if I can say the same for the player enemies, and because it doesn't give any visual cues that the play was selected, it's hard to determine if they even picked something or if they're actually bluffing, and if they did pick something, which one?

So in case Hockey wasn't brutal enough as is, then throw in even more brutality, and now you're on thin ice. The one thing that is disappointing is that the game teased Mutant League Basketball in the intro credits, but it never happened.

Cleared on May 13th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 68/160)

Boy, I sure love it when programmers create movesets for characters only for their level design to actively work against it. This game will actively punish you for even the tiniest mistakes which requires ninja-like precision to avoid. In theory, this should be fitting since you are an acrobatic with the ability to leap around, powerslide, and repeatedly strike your foes by tapping the attack button. The problem is that these movements are so clunky that actually putting them to use is really difficult. I've had cases where I've grabbed onto ledges I didn't mean to grab or had no idea was even there, I've dealt with numerous uneven terrain, the enemy placement is bullshit and there are sometimes too many enemies on the screen. And in case you're wondering, the bosses are just as bad with the worst of them being the anti-gravity ball and the rematch with that mechanical dinosaur and yes, you have a boss rush in this game, and the final boss is actually lame as hell.

Top it all off with screen flickering at points in the game, camera too zoomed in, slow down at points, and a mediocre soundtrack, and you have something really unfun and just mentally trying. If you're looking for something acrobatic, you're better off playing Shinobi III (which I recently updated my review on after replaying the game). You might even have better luck with the 2014 Strider game.

I actually had Strider Returns among the games to go through for the Sega Genesis Challenge, but knowing how bad it supposedly is, and playing through Strider 1989, I think I'll save that game for a bonus Sega Genesis challenge I'm thinking about doing called the "Bottom of the Barrel".

Cleared on December 2nd, 2023

This game is a chaotic rollercoaster that truly lives up to being an anti-visual novel. The only other game that I've seen pull this is maybe Doki Doki Literature Club, but those two walk on drastically different paths. DDLC is rather generic with its dialogue to disguise itself as a typical visual novel dating simulator and relies heavily on visual and... other abstract details. Class of 09, meanwhile, focuses more on creating unique dialogue to the point where I don't think I've ever seen this kind of writing style in any visual novel period. This isn't some idealistic Japanese school life where you date pretty girls, you are the pretty girl dealing with a shitty American school life.

The story takes place in the 2000s where MySpace was relevant, anime was a niche subgenre of animation that only dweebs got into, and you could've got popular just by recording yourself playing a game on a television with shitty quality and uploading it onto Youtube. And being in that era, the dialogue reflects this as the characters don't talk formally as if they are speaking exactly the translated subtitles from Japanese audio. They are talking like a shitpost English dub, and from what people say, this kind of dialogue reflects the real world quite a lot. It further helps that the events, encounters, and personalities are supposedly real.

While I don't have any verification on if this is the case given the absurd nature of the game, if you're at least aware of the world around you, it's easy enough to believe that many of these events can be real. Heck, from my experience, I've seen some of these personalities in person.

It can be seen as morbid and cynical, and under certain conditions, it can be. However, it takes a more daring approach to make it a dark comedy as you might find yourself laughing at points like "Why is this so funny?". Well, I'll tell you one thing that helps, the voice acting and their delivery of the lines.

Majority of the time, there are three things that I've seen in visual novels. Either they are not voiced at all, they have some voices but only for more important scenes, or its just all in Japanese. Here, however, every single line of dialogue is voiced in English. Even ones that seem unimportant and only serve to lead to a route that others could've led you to. The voice acting I would say really adds to the overall game, and it's not like they took a bunch of randos on 4chan or whatever. Some of them are actually talented VAs with a reputation in the business, and there's a good chance you've heard one or two of them before.

It's a really well-made visual novel, and my only complaints are a few character inconsistencies across some routes and making certain choices that lead to a route will cause you to feel confused as if there was some information that's left out. Also, a bit of a spoiler, but the choices you make until the 2nd day do not matter at all. They are just there to give insight on the characters that you'll be dealing with throughout the game.

There's not much else I can say about this game. Having such an emphasis on story-telling and multiple outcomes, it's something you need to see for yourself to believe. It's not always going to be bright, and there's a lot of ways it could go south. But I recommend you look into every single outcome. You might just learn something new.

Cleared on May 3rd, 2024

I’m not going to pretend to be a film critic with high standards and say that Barnyard is a terrible film because I really love the movie. It does heavily play off tropes seen in other animated films like Lion King and Toy Story, the tone shift can feel jarring at points such as the emotional apex of the film being followed up a few minutes later with a dance number and boy tipping, and don’t even get me started on the male cow udders. But I just love how chaotic and surreal it is just from cows doing stupid shit alone, but it also has some surprising emotional weight to it and there’s a sincere effort in its storytelling and characters. Plus, it’s one of the few movies to use its pop culture songs exceptionally well and even helps to capture the American culture with farmlands, the personalities, and wild parties.

I’ve been aware of the game based on the movie for a long time, but I didn’t think much of it besides the fact that you can squirt milk. I would’ve thought of it as just a run of the mill licensed game, but as I learned more about it through gameplay and archives of a streamer I watch regularly, I realized there might actually be more to it, and it was… high quality? And it’s not even me being nostalgically attached to the characters or the movie because it turns out I’m not alone on it. How is that even possible?

A key aspect of Barnyard and its TV series is goofing around and having wild parties, and since there’s so much going on in the movie, making it into a collection of minigames on top of the core gameplay would make the most sense. But I think what makes Barnyard more interesting is that they didn’t just make it where you go from one level to the next, but made the game an open world where you have to manually move your character from one point to the next in order to do the next mission. The world itself doesn’t feel too small that it's confined, but it’s not even that large where it feels more like a glorified loading screen than it does actually playing the game, and there’s a lot to do in the world. You can explore for recipe rocks across the world, and find notes on trees and fences for game tips with the earlier ones seeming blatantly obvious, but later ones may even prove useful and give you some lore tidbits that the movie or even the TV series never really touch on. You can go to the vegetable farm to collect crops which are all used for recipes except for cabbage because it’s nasty, you can collect an egg a day from the chickens, and you can go honey collecting in a stealth minigame to hide from the bees and steal honey from the bees which could then be used for recipes. And there are a few secrets across the world that even I haven’t found all of yet, so if exploration is your thing, it’s bound to keep you interested.

The game follows a mission based structure and all of them are mandatory, even ones that have you playing minigames. The game has a day and night cycle which lasts in real time around 15 minutes. You’re not actually playing as Otis or any of his friends this time around, but instead you’re playing as an OC (Original Cow) named, gendered, and customized to your choice. My character is a female angus named Milla because if I’m going to be staring at cow ass throughout the game and squirting milk, then it might as well be a girl. Also, I don’t even think the milk that comes out of the guys is actually… anyway, you do missions for the characters. Some can be as simple as fetch quests, others may have you putting your squirting skills to use, and others will have you play minigames. The core gameplay is, of course, the one where you control the cow on two legs. It does feel heavy at first to the point where I thought my emulator was running the game slowly, but you get used to it after a while. Once you get sunglasses, you can proceed to squirt milk which is only really applicable for a few minigames. You can also fuck with the characters and squirt on them. It should be noted that it has only five ammo until you are able to acquire a milk container on the ground which can be quite inconvenient if you find yourself far away from a container when you need it most. You can also lock on your enemies, so it ends up feeling like a third person shooter in a sense.

The minigames themselves are quite a lot, and if I go over all of them in detail, we’d be here all day. But to give you a brief rundown.
Mud Jumpers has you on a platform spinning pipes and timing your jumps and kicks to avoid getting knocked off. It’s a game about choosing your reaction and preparing for whatever move your foe makes. It’s an easy game to understand.
Sharp Squirters has you shoot at cans laid out across the area. The more cans you shoot within a short time frame, the better your score will be.
Barnyard Pool is a simple game of pool, but the catch is that you have two different color of balls assigned to both you and Duke (your opponent). If you shoot Duke’s color into the hole, it is considered a foul and he gets two free turns. However, it is possible for him to do the same by accident and you get two free turns. If either of you shoot the white ball into the hole, it’s also a foul, and if you directly touch the black ball before clearing all out all of your colors, it’s a foul. It’s not that hard, but you will need good accuracy for a high score.
Tease the Mailman and its variant Tease Ms. Beady has you performing poses through a series of button presses and then dropping down when the Mailman or Mr. Lump turns around. Doing 5 button prompts is ideal although if you think the mailman will turn around before you can complete the pose, you can opt to squeeze in a 3 or 4 button prompt pose.
Bike Racers has you race the Jersey Cows. You’ll be doing it quite a few times with different courses across the area, and you’ll luckily be accustomed to the controls since biking is how you’ll travel across the Barnyard, anyway.
Chasing Chicks has you picking up chicks and going to a designated target to throw them towards their coop. But it won’t be simple since you’ll be competing with Otis and later on the Jersey Cows for the most points. The latter won’t be as big of an issue as they may end up being busy squirting each other.
Vegetable Patch Defenders has you squirting at raccoons to stun them to allow you to throw them out and ensuring that at least 10 vegetables are not stolen. You also need to close the fences and prepare for raccoons that will attack you directly.
Honey Hunt has you going through a stealth mission to collect Honey. Unlike other minigames where you are competing for the high score, it will actually net you Honey which you can net up to 3 a day (in-game time, of course)
Chicken Coop Defenders has you protecting eggs against raccoons. You squirt them and throw them, but to get the high score, you need to let them steal eggs, intercept them, and go to a designated spot to throw the eggs. That is easier said than done, especially once the enemies start to outnumber you. Another variant involves the coyotes trying to steal the chicks, but you cannot throw the coyotes.
Chicken Launcher is where you launch Peck and have him fly through rings and at the end fly through windows. It’s one of the cooler minigames on paper, but in execution, it might just be one of the worst because of how sensitive Peck’s aerial controls are. It becomes difficult for precise movement and trying to get the best window for the high score takes a lot of trial and error.
Gopher Golf is a recurring one that they will have you play six times… yeah, the game sure loves its golf. It’s not your traditional golf or even mini-golf for that matter. What you have to do is tee-off and then let the gophers steer the ball to the goal. For the first four missions, it’s about how fast you can get the ball there although getting a hole-in-one by some chance will allow you to gain an extra life which will net you extra points. However, the last two golf missions are about making the shot in as few shots as possible. The final golf mission is such bullshit, and I didn’t even get a star because of how difficult the layouts are. Also, Hole 14 in general is ass. It has a guide hole that you need to aim at up on a slope, I got it into the guide hole and it can still bounce off of it.
Whack-A-Rac is one of the few actually optional mini-games that has you whack raccoons, but because Freddy is looking for Peck in the machine, he will pop up every now and then and should be avoided. Also eggs and chicken will also pop up and those need to be avoided too, but coyotes will pop up and those definitely need to be hit for the high score.
Joy Ride has you going on a ride in the farmer’s truck to race against the Jersey Cows on Ms. Beady’s car. It’s not that difficult, but it’s another one of those games that they have you do very often.
Milk Bar has you sliding milkshakes onto the customers to knock them back into the curtains. If they aren’t far away enough, they’ll throw a glass at you that you need to pick up or else you lose points. If you’ve ever played the retro game known as Tapper, that’s basically the same idea.
Barnyard Darts is another optional minigame where you can challenge Root to a game of darts. You have your own color to shoot and so does he. If you hit the enemy color, Root gets points. Now since his AI is so good, he will never hit your target and always hit his, but even if you hit one or two of his targets, you can actually gang up on him in points if you shoot early since it will give you an additional 10 points. Meanwhile, Root will only net around 2 points from the time bonus at most
Cow Tipping has you launch tomatoes at kids trying to tip over cows in order to scare them off, but another variant has you stopping raccoons and unlike the kids, they will actually try to put up a fight. There is one more variant of the minigame, but it is actually the game’s final boss against Dag, and it’s… well, not very good, but most of my problem stems from the annoying music although once you figure out you can lower the music volume by 1 star, crank up the speech volume by 5 stars, and turn on You Gotta Move by Aerosmith (the song that played during the final battle of the movie), it’s not so much of an issue. But the fact I had to rely on outside music to enhance the experience does not add any points.

There’s some good songs in the soundtrack although it seems like many of them are ripped from outside sources such as instrumentals from other songs, and I don't know how many of them are even original. There are some day time songs that show up, but the problem is that I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of them because the bike music during the daytime will override any song playing and either pause or reset the current song (I don’t remember which) and you’ll be spending a lot of your time in-game on the bike. For some reason, that rule does not apply when riding a bike at night and the overworld song plays as normal. Apparently there’s a good amount of unused songs in the game, and supposedly more songs exclusive to the Wii version of the game.

There is an incentive to try to explore the area and get the highest score in minigames. If you manage to get a star rank on at least 20 minigames, you can be crowned the Barnyard Champion surpassing even Otis. There are Gopher Coins you can acquire through missions and breaking crates which allow you to buy equipment to enhance the barnyard during the night. Other than two minigames, they are merely cosmetic, and you can’t even play pinball since the partygoers are always hogging the game. I don’t even think you can even ride the mechanical human for that same reason, but I never bothered to check if you can. You could bust a move on the dance floor, though. The purpose of it, though, is to get you additional awards including milkweeds which will take you to secret areas for more coins and other secrets and bonus content as well as Gold Rush tokens which you can head for a stump around the map to start a coin trail that you will need to follow under a time limit. Some stumps net more than others and the best one is near the junkyard which will net 200 gopher coins. When you get to 100% barn completion, you get to be the Number One Party Animal once again surpassing even Otis.

If that sounds like some mary sue plot where you just inserted yourself into the plot of Barnyard… well, at least it takes place in its own canon and being a video game, it does get away with it. It follows the plot of the movie, and I wouldn’t say it's “abridged”. It even adds in a few things not in the movie like the raccoon problem, but some of the cooler moments of the movie happened off-screen and seemingly in an instant. The characters are there and they are in character for the most part, but they don’t really feel at their best. Doesn’t exactly help that their character models are uhh… let’s just say reeks of PS2 that much I can say. Of course it is a 6th generation game, so it’s not to say it’s a bad thing, but at the same time, you do need to come to terms that this is a PS2 game from 2006. Also, there is limited voice acting in this one. I understand there’s a lot of dialogue, but it feels weird that they have audio at the beginning of each conversation and then again at the end. I feel like it would’ve been better if they had full audio for the actual important scenes. In case you’re wondering, all of the voice actors from the movie are all intact, even Kevin James as Otis when he would later be voiced by Chris Hardwick in the TV series, although I don’t think that was a tall order in this case since they didn’t have many lines they need to say.

What I love about this game is that it manages to capture what I love about the movie in the first place. At one point it’s a chaotic madhouse of partying and games, but another, it can feel calm and atmospheric like staring off into the moon on top of Ben’s Hill at night while listening to beautiful acoustic music. Fun fact, staring off into the moon was how I accidentally found two notes and a recipe rock that I likely would not have found on my own otherwise. I never found myself bored even when playing it for 8 hours straight at one point because there is just so much to do. Different ways to optimize your gold gain, the new areas to explore, and all of the minigames. There is unfortunately nothing left for the game once you become Barnyard Champion and Number One Party Animal. You could play minigames for the fun of it, try to scour for bonuses you haven't got yet, or maybe just replay the game 5 years from now and experience it all over again. But the journey was a lot of fun, and it’s already become one of my favorite licensed games of all time.

Cleared on March 18th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 60/160)

I can't with this game. I just fucking can't. It is so awful, and no, I'm not just going to leave it at that. I'm going all the way with this review, hopefully to the point where I reach the character limit because if I'm going to be rating a game 1 or 0.5 stars, it needs to be said with confidence and clarity as to why the game is so bad.

At a glance, when you look at snippets of the gameplay, you see a first person shooter where you face off a gauntlet bosses. You think that the game doesn't seem all that bad although you may sometimes hear the opinion that the game is not very good although not bad enough to make the Top 10 or even Top 30. Maybe Top 50, so you'd assume that maybe it's just mediocre. Nothing special. So you pick up the game, start it up and prepare to shoot down the dragon.

The first thing you are greeted with is a large wall of text that gives you a rundown of the premise which I guess doesn't seem too bad. The premise is that disputes across the galaxy are settled with a duel to the death. Your interest in these death duels is that you're part of a federation seeking to regain control of the traffic lanes that ensure trade and food supply in an ongoing effort to win the war against the pirates ruled over by the "super 9", and you must take down all of them in the duel.

The game also tells you, in it's own words "Do not simply hold down the fire button and blast away! If you do, you will not be successful! Death Duel is not a "shooter"! Get to know how your targeting system works and learn to select the proper weapons from the weapons shop! No two weapons or opponents are the same. A good warrior studies the weaknesses of his opponent and plans the proper strategy to take advantage of them." This gives you an indicator of the mechanics that you are to expect.

With the exception of the first boss which comes from a preset of weapons, you are able to buy weapons per round. However, you can only have three weapons at a time, and all of the ammo you didn't use is lost, so you'll need to buy them again or buy a new set of weapons. Each boss has it's own set of weak points which make timing and aiming your attacks mean a lot in a game like this. But what are your weapons?

Machine Gun is the simple projectile weapon which is very cheap although very underpowered. For earlier battles, this can be a good weapon to have on hand and even for a few later battles it could be useful to pick off certain weak spots.

Missiles are a powerful weapon with scarce ammo that aims in an upward arc. If it lands, it can be very potent for taking out weaponry on the foe.

Laser Gun is supposed to be a stronger Machine Gun, but due to some enemies having an immunity, it's only really practical when it is on sale early game.

Skimmer is a strong weapon that is strong all throughout the game and accomplishes what the Machine Gun does being a bullet weapon.

Lob Grenade causes the foe to stop attacking for a couple of seconds which is good against foes that repeatedly attack you nonstop.

Grenade is a downward arc explosive that can pack a lot of heat when it connects, but is very hard to aim.

Energy Ring locks the foe in place to stop them from moving, making your aiming easier.

SloMo Cloud slows the enemy down which sounds inferior to the Energy Ring, but some foes have an immunity to that and not the cloud.

Lob Mine is a powerful weapon that acts as a trap that if the foe steps on, they will feel a lot of pain although this is only if they are grounded and their weak points are already dealt with.

Homing Missile is the ultimate weapon. It deals a lot of damage, it is sure to hit weak points, and if it doesn't finish it off, then it will pave way for your other weapons to finish it. The problem is that it is super expensive as all hell.

For now, though, you have a preset of weapons for your first boss, and right off, you are greeted with this ugly ass entity they call a human girl with a face that's reminiscent of the wojak npc meme. She just straight up looks like a mannequin with a face, a robot. I know this is the Sega Genesis, and sprites that try to look sexy aren't going to be worth a nut in this day and age, but having played Outrun recently, I thought they looked passable there, and the Genesis port was 1 year ago. The game in general is just unpleasant with its graphics. Some of the boss designs might look alright, but Krax Xarkton, Kuros Tizrak when his mask comes off, and especially Yorgik Somtix were so gross to look at, and I mean in a bad way. And you might not pay much attention in motion, but when you look at it the sprites for the dragons, you realize their heads look really stupid too. They're so ugly they had to hide them both behind a wall at the start of a match. But then there's the shopkeeper who looks like a fucked up fusion of Cyborg from Teen Titans and Long John Silver from Treasure Planet, and you have to see his face and exposed belly every round. Also his monkey has a wojak npc face too. Of course, let's not forget the ending screen if by some chance you actually get to the end where this "sexy lady" congratulates you for winning the game. They try to make it detailed, but the textures and colors are really off. You can also point towards the thick eyebrows, but I like girls with thick eyebrows. It's the dark shade of blonde in contrast with the golden shade of blonde hair that makes it unattractive. Also, if you pause at a certain frame while she talks, it looks like she is pogging.

Another issue with the presentation is the soundtrack which is just... not good. It's not the worst Sega Genesis soundtrack or even the worst that I played through, but it is so forgettable. To be fair, I end up forgetting about soundtracks from the Sega Genesis games even the good ones, but at the very least I want it to make me feel something in the moment, and the game's soundtrack never does that for me. It's just really mediocre.

But what about the gameplay? Well, as a first person shooter duel, your objective is to aim at the enemy boss, take down their weak points, and you win. But each foe has their own complications.

Shanox Moisail is the first boss of the game and despite what the game tells you, you can in fact just senselessly shoot him and very likely win. The thing is, though, he is so agile that trying to shoot him down is really frustrating and this goes for almost all bosses in the game. Combine that with the scuffed aiming and sometimes even hitboxes, and it's just a recipe for disaster. And keep in mind, your ammo is limited and if you run out, you have to try again or until you get a game over. Now you can remedy this by pressing the start button which will allow you to move your cursor to better aim, but you are going to have to stand still and your foes will attack you, and if you lose all your health, you have to try again.

So you're thinking, ok. I'll just simply take my time... except time isn't what you got because you have a set time limit to take your foes down. And when you combine that with the cover they can take, it can drag fights on for longer than needed.

So once you manage to get the boss down, you can enter a qualifier round to gain some points which are converted into currency, or the Pheelae as the game calls it, and the aiming is so scuffed. You have 3 buttons for aiming. One that fires left, one that fires center, and one that fires right. This also applies to the duels themselves, but because of how small the targets are, aiming for them is actually really difficult. And you will notice that the cursor will initially be slow when you move it and then suddenly jank itself forward which makes it that much harder to aim. And these aren't just mere bonuses to rack up Pheelae, they are required in order to progress and if you don't meet the quota, you lose a life and have to try again.

And don't think the bare minimum is going to cut it because you need to perform well, take the enemies down fast, meet the qualifier quota fast, and hit enemies in as many of their weak points as possible in order to rack up more Pheelae and if you don't have enough Pheelae, you don't have enough ammunition to take down the bosses, and if you don't have enough ammunition, you can't defeat the boss, and it's practically a game over. But perhaps the most fucked up thing is that just the simple act of choosing the wrong layout is enough to ensure an automatic defeat and the worst part? You can't go back to the store, you are forced to commit to the battle until you lose all of your lives and you have to start the game from the very beginning. This isn't as much of an issue when you are playing with save states, but keep in mind that you can't conserve ammo in between rounds as you lose them all, so you have to rebuy the weapons. So even when using save states, I still ended up in a position where I didn't have enough ammo which meant I was forced in an unwinnable situation and had to start all the way from the beginning. To top it off, it's not just the ammo you are paying for, but also the repairs on your robot as failure to do so will mean taking more damage from the foe.

So what about the rest of the bosses? Forsal Jeraba is actually easy enough if you are able to bait him to the right. He will never move and you can just shoot off his limbs and his tail, then his face and you win. If you time your shots well, you can do it with only 80 machine gun ammo.
Krax Xarkton is aggravating as he can curl into a ball which will make him invincible and he'll just spam it, making it harder for you to actually get him down.
Darrius Morb's legs are so scuffed to aim at which makes this seemingly slow robot harder to aim. When you get his legs down, however, he will convert into a spring although by that point, as long as his weapons are down, you can just shoot his head to win.
Borb Eubistapcia is a dragon that regenerates his health, he flies around, and there is so much cover on the field that it makes it really hard to even hit him in the first place. Easily one of the worst bosses in the game.
Karl Borgas is one of the easier fights as long as you shoot his right arm (his right), so he doesn't regain his left arm. He's also one of the slower enemies if I recall correctly, but still not that easy to aim.
Kuros Tizrak, despite being a slug, is remarkably agile and hits hard too. Dispatching his weapons means he won't be an issue in that regard, but defensively, he will juke your weapons and take a bit of damage himself.
Yorgik Somtix requires you to take down his arms and then his legs in that order. Once you figure out what you need to do, he is really easy... and that's another problem. Once you figure out the best loadout, the fights go from frustrating to just being boring. You don't feel this great sense of accomplishment, you just feel nothing. If that sounds like the effect of looking up a walkthrough, maybe it is, but I was already losing my patience with this game to begin with, so it's not like I'm missing out on anything impactful. If anything, I may have saved myself from having to fight the final boss a second time after the bullshit he would've pulled on me.

The final boss, Simas Julius is a robot much like you, and you need to down his arms, his legs, his cannons, and his head in that order. He is competing with Borb as the worst boss in the game. He attacks way too fast, he can phase out and still attack you while you yourself can't hit him, and you have to be specific as to where to aim. He doesn't take a lot of damage otherwise, and hopefully by this point you'll have enough Pheelae on hand for some Homing Missile shenanigans, but once you defeat him, the game will proceed to trick you into thinking that you have defeated him. He will then pull out a white flag which might make you think he surrendered, but no, he's about to blow up in your face which will spell an instant game over for you. So you need to shoot him down before he blows up and that's it. The game is cleared.

You are then greeted with dialogue from the girl at the ending, and it's well... let me show you.

"The Council has promised me to the champion
The Duels have ended
There will be no more pain for you, today
The road was not easy, but you have shown yourself to be a worthy hero
Take some time off now, Barret Jade and prepare for the terror that awaits you in Death Duel II
I always leave with the champion!!"

Yes, this is real dialogue from the game, and it's so half-assed even for Sega Genesis standards. Oh yeah, and the credits are in her dialogue box as if she is talking about the people that made this game. Also, "prepare for the terror that awaits you in Death Duel II" lol. The dialogue in general is just really crass especially with that earlier mentioned wojak girl as though she's trying to be quirky with "hardcore" dialogue, but all I can think is a robot saying that to me. The good news is that you can press start before she shows her face and says anything, so you can get straight to the fight.

This is a game that might've been too ambitious for its own good. It has the idea of delivering a first person arcade style shooter battling against bosses on the Sega Genesis complete with a variety of weapons and budget management, but they really did not think these ideas through. Could it have been a lot better with extra time in development? Would Death Duel II even improve on the original? I'm not sure.

Career Mode cleared on January 24th, 2024

This is one of those "what you see is what you get" type of games. You use a powerwash and clean up well-detailed objects of various kinds whether it be cars, boats, houses, or planes. Where dirt taints be it parks and the underground, the dirtfinder will be there. But it's not as simple as spraying, well, it is. But you do have a few options for spraying and upgrades along the way.

As far as what you have to work with, you have four types of nozzles by default which include red which fires a straight line with a concentrated amount of force. Great for cleaning tight spaces. Yellow nozzle is a little bit more wide, but still concentrated enough for long ranged cleaning. Green nozzle is more wide and not as concentrated, but still useful for moderate range. White nozzle is the widest, but the least concentrated of the bunch which makes it more suitable for short ranged cleaning. Some dirt is much tougher to clean than others, so sometimes you'll need to repeatedly spray a specific spot a few more times before it is completely clean.

But to make the job easier, you can upgrade your powerwasher which gives it better capabilities. But you can also give it new nozzles which includes a gray nozzle that spins in a straight line which is essentially an upgraded red nozzle. But then there's the soap nozzle which allows for powerful AoE cleaning, but it requires you to pay 10 dollars for a liter of soap which is a limited resource. And it's not like you can repeatedly farm dollars to get an infinite supply since they can go out of stock and you do have a limited amount of cash, anyway although that money starts mattering less once you get all the upgrades. The last upgrades to touch upon are extensions which allow for longer ranged cleaning and may allow you to use wider nozzles at a longer range, but be careful to not get too close with them or your character will sheath the powerwashing rendering it unable to work

There is a lot to do in the game, a lot of jobs and just in Career Mode alone, you could be spending about 50+ hours and there's even more to do when accounting for bonus jobs and even DLC which I have not touched upon, but it involves other franchises including Spongebob and Back to the Future.

People praise it as being zen and satisfying, and maybe I saw it at first, but after awhile, I kinda felt nothing as the game progressed. It's one of those games that I've been on and off about, and I thought about abandoning it. But then I got to the temple and it hit me on one curious aspect of the game that I don't think people really touch upon. When you get a job, you get a message about the job you are about to do. But every 20%, you get more messages which talks about a bunch of random things like the mayor's missing cat and some real world trivia here and there. However, there is a sort of connection between jobs to another. For example, there was a bunch of eggs being thrown at the mayor's house which is where you use the extra long extension, but as you progress along, there may have been an actual explanation as to how it happened. There is also a bit of an arc that occurs that gets more noticeable once you get about 75% into career mode, and it gets especially wild once you get the final level and let's just say it serves as a real recap of every job you've ever done.

But I guess the absurdity of the messages helps to incentivize players to keep going from what could otherwise be seen as monotonous in addition to the franchise crossovers, and I'll admit, if there was one thing I found satisfying about the game, it's seeing the whole thing to the end.

Cleared on April 25th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 61/160)

The first of the "Strike" trilogy, Desert Strike: Return to the Gulf is a top down helicopter shooter where you complete a series of missions given to you in a large desert map whether it'd be shooting down targets, rescuing allies and civilians, or just deploying your co-pilot to carry out ground missions.

Desert Strike isn't typical from your usual shoot em ups for the 4th console generation as you have an open world to roam rather than scrolling through an area and shooting anything in your way. The controls are much more clunky which is a deliberate choice although there is a setting that allows you to control "From Above" which is considered the "easy" mode as you are able to strafe while you shoot. For some reason, even though it would've made the game easier, I really did not like the feel of the setting as you can't go backwards, making picking up objects and people difficult. You feel slower, and I don't know if I'm crazy, but it feels like you're consuming more fuel. For this reason, I just ended up playing the whole game with momentum active and while dodging attacks are more difficult, sometimes requiring trial and error even, it does encourage a more strategic approach overall.

Even though the game is hard, there is a mercy aspect of being able to acquire resources that can replenish your armor and fuel which are both crucial for survival as well as ammo which is crucial for offensive missions. You have fuel cans, armor boxes with the option of unloading people at landing sites to regenerate armor, and ammo crates which refuel your ammo.

The weapons in your arsenal consists of Machine Gun, Hydra which are small missiles, and Hellseekers which are big missiles. The Machine Gun you will never run out of, but the damage it deals is very minimal and is more useful for damaging buildings and on-foot soldiers. Hydra and Hellseekers both serve the purpose of being able to take on vehicle units as well as destroying tougher buildings if time isn't on your side, and that's going to happen often as even if you are able to avoid attacks with ease, your fuel will deplete overtime and you need to decide whether you should take your time and conserve your ammo, or blow it away immediately and rush to the nearest can. Also, both fuel cans and ammo are limited and while you can find more in buildings, they are hidden from the map.

On that note, the map offers you insight on where you need to go which makes it much more useful for navigation as to what you need to do, so you don't get lost. Well, that is until at one point in the 3rd level where it doesn't tell you where you need to go for the final mission which is the one where you escort the buses.
Side note: I've had the game actually crash on me when I landed near the area. I don't know what happened, but then I tried clearing out nearby units and it bypassed the crash issue.
There was also another vague mission inquiry in the final level where it doesn't tell you where you need to go to deal with the garbage trucks holding the nuclear weapons. The game does at least give you a visual detail of the trucks, and there's a chance you might know if you somehow passed by the area while doing the 3rd mission, but I still thought it was strange.

Another one of my problems is just the lack of music. It does have an awesome opening theme and the mission briefing music is also good, but as you play the game itself, I was left with no choice but to use my own music. To be fair, each campaign is long, and it may be annoying to listen the same song for that period of time, but that didn't stop Outlanders from trying to make you listen to the same song for 3 hours on end.

But I like the more strategic approach of the game as you need to make out your surroundings, do some exploring for extra resources, and plan your every move in order to overcome your foes. Worst case scenario, the game does have a password system, so you can pick up where you left off or just keep trying until you nailed down the perfect strategy.

Cleared on May 11th, 2023 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 11/160)
Review updated on May 12th, 2024 (How has it been literally one year since I beaten the game, where the fuck did that time go?!)

For awhile, I thought the game was pretty good, but that's because I never got past the first half, but when you get to the second half, the game demonstrates its barrage of major issues. My biggest problem? The Double Jump is inconsistent. It's like it decides when it feels like working even when you thought you got it down and this wouldn't be a problem if one of the last levels requires you to double jump and it requires it to work before the platform fall out of screen. That was frustrating.

The rest of the movements seem to work fine, though. You have a run which is triggered by tapping right or left twice, you have attack which fires a projectile by default or swings a sword if you are in melee. You have ninjitsu's that you can activate for a power boost although you get a limited amount and you should be careful when you use it.

The game itself does get really hard by the second half, though where more precise platforming and awareness is demanded which I would say is fair, but just a reminder that when one crucial aspect of your movement is not consistent, it leads on to being extremely unfair. It's one thing if you're as harsh with high demand for precision as a game like Rayman 1 where at least the controls are sharp and responsive, but this game made me genuinely not regret using save states for the sake of my sanity.

It's such a shame that I don't enjoy this game as much as I should because I love the ninja aesthetic and the feeling of being a ninja fighting other ninjas and robots, riding horses, and when the game works, it feels fun

Wow, did I severely misjudge this game out of skill issues. It turns out the double jump issue that I claim to have was likely because I kept holding the jump button instead of tapping it which seemed to make the timing feel much more narrow. I went back to the game thinking it was an emulator issue, but when I compared the official SEGA Genesis Collection emulator along with the emulator on Retroarch, it literally makes no difference. For this reason, this game got its score buffed from 2.5 stars to 4 stars. That seems like a large gap, but you gotta understand how big of a difference it made because the movement was already really fun with the sprinting, divekicking, and wall jumping as if you were a ninja, but finally figuring out how the double jump timing actually works helped me to overcome obstacles that was seemingly impossible without save cheesing such as the 6th level with falling rocks. I will say, though, the final boss is still bullshit. I'm surprised I didn't bring this up in my initial review, but he attacks way too frequently and too quickly, his shuriken from above is near impossible to avoid, and I had to use Mirin ninjitsu 2 times and that lightning ninjitsu for extra damage protection, and I still was only barely able to defeat him with 1 HP left.

Cleared on July 18th, 2023 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 33/160)

Valis: The Fantasm Soldier is the first of a series of 2D Action Adventure games that, I'm not sure how popular it was back in the day or if it's still popular at all, but it did sell pretty well and it ended up getting a port to the Nintendo Switch although in terms of visuals, music, and content and even dialogue, the version is much different, using the PC Engine version. I do intend to play the PC Engine version at a later date, but until then, I'll have to settle with the Sega Genesis version. But how is it?

I thought it was great. Now my only real gripe is that the dialogue in cutscenes is garbage, straight up. I looked at the dialogue in the PC Engine version to find it's not even that bad. At worst, it's kinda "Ehh...", but it never once made me cringe. I would say it's on the simple side and doesn't elaborate on details as well as you'd want it to, but it's not bad. The Sega Genesis version is a different breed of awful, and I'm not someone who has the best standards when it comes to writing. As someone who writes as a hobby and rarely shares their work (because that totally went well the last time I did), I know how difficult it can be to write good stories and sometimes good dialogue, so I generally tend to be forgiving towards stories that people deem as "mediocre" or sometimes even bad. So naturally it takes a lot for me to think a story is really bad and when even I think it's awful, there is something very wrong. Like did anyone adapting the dialogue in the Sega Genesis version think for one moment "I don't know, this doesn't feel right"?.

Let me give you an example. When Yuko is summoned to Dreamland by Varia, Varia tells her that she is the chosen warrior to defeat the forces of darkness and its king, Rogles. In the PC Engine version, Yuko claimed this was too much to ask for her and that makes sense. Yuko is merely just an ordinary high school girl with no prior fighting skills and to put the fate of the world in her hands would be scary to anyone. In the Genesis version? Yuko calls Varia selfish for asking for her help... wut? At that moment, I knew something wasn't right. There was no way this was the original dialogue and whaddya know, I was right. Also, in the Genesis version it's not called Dreamland; it's called "Fantasy World". Nice name. On top of that, in the Genesis version, the dialogue and cutscenes move so slow that one of the last cutscenes in the game before the final level lasted, I'm not even joking, 9 minutes. The same cutscene in the PC Engine version? 5 minutes. Also, some scenes got left out in the Genesis version from the PC Engine version. It includes Yuko's daily routine before the literal storm, an introduction of the villain himself, and some pre-text dialogue before each boss fight as well as cutscenes upon defeating them. If the Sega Genesis version is the "quality" I'm to expect for Valis III when I eventually get around to that game then spirits have mercy on me for what's coming.

But other than that, everything else about the game was pretty good. The game is one of the easier Genesis games that I've played although there are some parts that can be quite difficult like the last three bosses of the game, but the rest of the game is actually on the easy side. It's a 2D Action game where you swing a sword at enemies. It starts with really poor range, but once you pick up your first upgrade, it gets a projectile and from there on, the game just becomes a cakewalk at least up until the bosses. You also get a powerslide and some magic which can be activated by holding Up + Attack. This could be awkward at times, though, since you might mean to use Up + Jump for a high jump and then follow up with an attack, so if you're not careful, you'll accidentally use up some magic. And really, another problem with the game and this is another aspect of the game that keeps it from getting a higher score for the Sega Genesis version, it's that the controls doesn't seem to respond sometimes. Like you might mean to powerslide, but there is a delay when you've already performed an action and that may include ducking, I think. The thing is, you actually don't need to duck to use it. Just press the A Button and that's it, but my mind seems to think that's what you need to do sometimes and it kinda creates a delay instead of being instant. Perhaps the issue might be corrected in the PC Engine version, but we'll see about that.

The presentation is also really good too. While the animation and expressions during the cutscenes feel static on the Genesis, it does have to adhere to the limitations of the system, so I'll let it slide. The in-game art is quite good for the system and so is the music of the game, it's really good and enhances the experience of the game.

It's just a blast to play, and I'm excited to revisit this game on the PC Engine version and maybe then I'll give a second review of the game. It might just be a 4.5 stars or even a 5.

Cleared on March 3rd, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 47/160)

Say hello to one of the six launch titles for the Sega Genesis when it was launched in the US. It was the game that came bundled with every Sega Genesis before Sonic took over that position a year later to great success. Altered Beast is an arcade port of a beat-em up where you play as a resurrected human to rescue Zeus daughter from the clutches of Hades, who really wants to welcome you to your doom.

It's pretty much run of the mill as far as side scroller beat-em ups go which isn't surprising since it is launched in 1988, but I liked the idea of transforming into a mighty beast. Upon collecting 3 orbs from the blue hellhounds, you transform into a beast and soon after take on the boss. There's five bosses in the game which are nothing special. The first three bosses are easy enough once you figure out what to do. The fourth boss takes a good amount of hits and avoiding their attack combinations can be difficult under bad circumstances, but then there's the final boss.

Why won't that fucking rhinoceroes die?!

Cleared on March 18th, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 59/160)

Here's an interesting tidbit about this game. The "get ready" sound effect that is used when you start a race is also used by Space Harrier every time you respawn after you lose a life. Never would've imagined running into that sound effect just after I played that game.

Anyway, Outrun is a game where you drive one large course with multiple different paths leading you to 5 different outcomes. Each route has it's own layout and scenery, and it is well versed in its locations. You drive a car at a high speed, totally not putting the girl next to you in danger. There's 2 different speeds that you can set it to which include L which is meant to be slow and steady while H allows you to move at incredible speed. L is initially useful for starting the race as it has better acceleration, but once you get to 110 miles, switching to and staying in H is optimal as you can just tap the drive button to slow down to improve your steering while maintaining good speed.

There are four different songs that you can choose which include Magical Sound Shower, Passing Breeze, Splash Wave, and Step on Beat. Each of which try to emit a more tropical sound, and Splash Wave in particular reminds me of something I would hear in Sonic Adventure if it was demade on Sega Genesis. I will say that the soundtrack from the arcade does translate really well onto the Sega Genesis. It isn't going to outdo it, but the arcade version already sounded like the Sega Genesis with some extra depth to it.

It's really just a simple race to the finish game. It doesn't give me the excitement that Outrun 2019 did, but for a game made in 1986 and ported to the Genesis in 1991, it did what it sought out to do and make a game where you can go driving.