some of the fellas here are in DIRE need of reeducation

total blast from start to finish - even after the third playthrough. narratively it's just the right amount of explanation vs interpretation with a compelling cast whose voices are so well spoken that you'll remember the mains (especially walter and rusty) in full color even without putting a single name to face

they lend an incredible amount of authenticity to the story, which is pretty subtle overall and relies on foreshadowing and tension more so than big twists. i'll keep it vague and just say that when it comes to solidifying the routes, megaten ain't got shit

as far as combat goes, it feels great and build variety is top notch. there's something to be said about how some playstyles can outshine others in terms of efficiency/simplicity, but the biggest strength of the AC customization is that you're ultimately able to use whatever you enjoy (within the compromises of weight/energy restrictions, anyway). 100% buy/sell rates ensure you can always experiment and try new things too

some would claim this stops being the case with the "big bosses", which the same people tend to compare towards sekiro and dark souls, but i'd argue that's a case of what we in the biz refer to as a "skill issue" and nothing less. simply put - you can beat balteus with whatever the hell you want - i used two shitty assault rifles because i didn't want to restart the mission and it worked just fine (sure it took four hours of trial and error, but still - i got really good after that!)

also: this game's fucking gorgeous. and it only ramps up progressively more on that front as it goes on. i swear each chapter has at least 3 wallpaper worthy shots in cutscenes alone. music's killer too - more subdued than what you'd probably expect from hoshino (most of the time) but i dig the reznor vibes just as much as the autotuned dog barks, y'know?

at first i didn't really want to write a long review here, but it felt wrong just submitting a vague joke that only certain people would understand. so instead i decided to write that exact same joke anyway, but sandwich this review between it so i'd feel like i still did justice on one of my favorite games in the past ten years. now i'm the freelancer who has it all

main system: activating combat mode

rance's sense of humor and the way it builds its cast is like baiting someone into the pipeline for a series of deez nuts jokes and then hitting them with a thousand gottis simultaneously

i mean that in the absolute best way possible. but you know what isn't good? this game's dumbass grindy event orb system, which is too inane to even describe concisely. also - a minor point but the ui is the ugliest fucking puke ridden disaster i've ever seen. it looks like the worlds shittiest winamp skin and i say that as someone who unironically uses winamp

anyway this would be more like a 7.5 but i'm going to round up out of respect for my GOATs sieg and anise

i thrust awake in a cold sweat beneath the quiet roof of my sengoku ranch. i remember that the deed is nearly complete - i'm on the brink of the backloggd alignment lock

the panting starts. then the puke; panicking over what i must do. i reflect on what has brought me to this point. the truth sets in

humans are given two choices in the fleeting existence they call life:

1. they rate kichikuou rance with a half star. completion status: abandoned. review roughly reads, "dont let rance fans near children" or, "i feel like a worse person for playing this". these people absolutely rule at parties and you should unconditionally take everything they say completely seriously

2. ten out of ten. reasons enigmatic. their thoughts may be more driven by seemingly sociopathic notions regarding how their life was changed by a fun strategy game with cartoon humor about a guy who does bad shit for women, money and power. there's a good chance these ones aren't getting invited to the aforementioned parties

this is where i forge my path; where i shall walk the road to dawn

...in all seriousness, i'm pretty amazed that something this meticulously detailed came from an eroge company - let alone in 1996. there are so many moving parts and interlinked events that it borders on overwhelming. tons of characters too - many of which you even won't meet because of how structurally dynamic everything is. seemingly whimsical decisions could have lasting consequences, be they positive or negative. it's all so thorough that looking up just about anything in a guide seriously compromises the overall experience

alicesoft's sheer fuck-it-we-ball energy is impossible not to respect here. they crammed every ridiculous idea they had for the series at the time into one sprawling what-if finale and somehow it actually worked. that said, since it's a rough summary for five games that at the time didn't even exist, the narrative feels a little rushed even though it clocks in at 40+ hours. definitely left me wanting a little more from the antagonists and world, but that's what the hundreds of hours worth in sequels is for, i suppose

look - if you think crassness is funny and you've remained skeptical of this series as i have for so long, i'd suggest considering it. if you're on the "i'd never play that shit" side of the spectrum, then you've already made up your mind and that's fine too

if you think this game's bad mechanically, however: skill issue, filtered and so on

here is a pdf that better formats/clarifies the in-game how to play section without any spoilers

surprised by how much i ended up liking this

significantly more character and lore-driven than the rest of the series to this point. pretty much everything rance says is fucking hilarious and the gameplay is actually serviceable this time around due to having a real battle system - i don't know why it took this long to introduce controllable party members or more than two skills, but thank fucking god they're here now!

starting to also understand why trails and rance are gateways into each other for a lot of people... i think i know which series i'll be trying out next

TL;DR: you could build a mountain out of the complaints thrown at this game, but you'd only get a molehill out of the ones that are actually valid

left alive isn't metal gear. it has a fair amount of low budget jank, but outside of the inconsistent performance, some weird animations and a few ai quirks here and there, it works as intended (if you can handle literally anything made by cavia, you'll be fine.) that said - depending on your playstyle and willingness to experiment, the experience is either gonna be totally exhilarating or completely exhausting

let's dispel the myth once and for all: not only is left alive not metal gear - it's not even a stealth game. enemies are armed to the teeth. these aren't dudes in military garb - they're soldiers with armored exosuits. it'd be stupid if you could just 'stealth takedown' them. so what's the solution, especially on higher difficulties? (read: any one that isn't the casual mode that they patched in for people who refused to play the game properly)

RUN LIKE A BITCH

oh, but if only i could easily obtain tools to distract or disarm guards to avoid the constant gunfire. if only i could plant traps or obscure my trail with smoke bombs. if only i could slide tackle into enemies while sprinting as if this were vanquish and knock them on their asses. oh wait - i can do all of that. soldiers are spongy, but the sheer amount of ways you can manipulate them justifies that. sure, it'll take eight headshots to kill someone, but what about when while they're too busy shaking off a molotov cocktail to retaliate? or trying to dismantle a barb wire trap?

on paper it might seem like you've got all the tools you need to dispose of anything, but ammo is fairly scarce and you can't carry much of it. maps are visited under different circumstances by all three characters and the loot in each area is finite. stocking up on ammo or all the scrap you can find might sound like a good idea at first, but you could be giving your other characters a much harder time for lack of preparation

narratively, i don't have a lot to say without spoilers. as a front mission fan, it's certainly cool to dicaprio_point.gif at all the familiar terminology and factions. definitely feels like there could've been more on the narrative front, but what's here is cool and the cast carrying things is surprisingly high profile - even nigh animation-less sidequest npcs are absurdly well voiced. the morality decisions are also interesting and fairly pivotal (ranging from survivors killing themselves because you told them the wrong things, to actually important characters dying unjustly for your actions). i like that what you get out of the narrative is reflective of what you put into it. moreover, i appreciate that because this is a front mission game i can pilot wanzers. that's pretty cool too

look. if you're still here then your curiosity must be sparked in some manner. i'll be frank: this game gets cheap. i bought it for $6 and i'd have gladly paid multiples of that. there are great ideas here and they're not even deeply buried under jank. this is just a fun and unique experience through and through. easily recommended to anyone with passing interest and an open mind. play on the hopeless difficulty too - it isn't - it puts you in the right mentality to get through novo slava as intended. don't sweat the side missions too much - they're tough and staying alive is hard enough as is

moral of this story: never fucking trust game critics or youtube funnymen. seriously. most of the negative reviews on steam have less than an hour of playtime and yet they act as if left alive assaulted their family and left no one alive

it's embarrassing

"fuck it, finally a fantasy"
~fred durst (2021)

consistently fun but bogged down by way-too-frequent mmo-esque fetch quests, a dogshit main antagonist and jill's comical lack of characterization

when it hits though, it really fucking hits. clive is a terrific lead, (kupka is also a fantastic rival) every major set piece manages to one up the last and the combat, while a bit easy for an action game absolutely braindead, is really fucking fun

only ps4/5 game thus far to feel like a truly "next gen" experience and a crystal clear reminder of the heights this series can reach when it's not rife with developmental problems

edit: that last line is still mostly correct but not in the way i'd like. it's certainly next-gen in terms of scope and scale with regards to spectacle, but the actual writing is piss poor. this was very much a honeymoon game and ng+ made it clear. xvi feels like a first draft