I can simply no longer idly stand by while users with names like realbabymario who probably wear polos and adhere to their local exterior property maintenance bylaws say games are "like crack smoked crack"

if you'd like to keep comparing computer entertainment software to drugs I'm going to hereby require evidence that you've done them. to this end you may send a video clip with your username and partaking visible as well as a signed letter of guarantorship from your dealer and That Guy who's always chilling with your dealer to my personal address: johnerowid@gmail.com

anyway, more games should feel like technoweapons. I wanna feel disoriented and unhinged and experience immediate changes in my mental state. I wanna turn it off and feel like thick, heavy cables were yanked from base of my skull. the word visceral was commandeered by marketing freaks selling gratuitous 7th gen killporn animations to teenagers, but once in a while you get a chance to remember what it actually means

some games can take hours and hours to draw a potent reaction from you; this one takes a few seconds. soon as the garish flashing, unbearable speed, and famicom techno hits you immediately understand the experience and the relationship you're gonna have with it

one of the most convincing displays of technical wizardry you'll find in 1992 or otherwise. this is the exact moment yagawa the grey turned into yagawa the white. these boys weren't just cooking, they were on that molecular gastronomy shit. that FFIX 99 frogs shit. that meowscular chef shit — no dango in sight

this hits me like saying games "feel like they were made in an albuquerque RV" hits guys who think mexico's literally yellow

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Reviewed on Mar 11, 2024


12 Comments


1 month ago

this game was as crazy as when i stood up from my chair too fast 😱😱😵‍💫 haha just kidding

1 month ago

I read this and then I passed out for like 2 or 3 seconds

1 month ago

thanks to this review i now have a crippling addiction to fentanyl

also check out metal slader glory if you want to see some more completely insane use of nes hardware

1 month ago

@chandler
will give that a go. always down to see more witchcraft

1 month ago

Zeta gundam hot scramble final editon is insanely impressive for famicom hardware and can be beaten blind in under an hour

1 month ago

@C_F
much obliged, this sounds neat 🫡

1 month ago

going to post these here for those reading:

recca pure - easy access to the hard + zanki attack/zanki hard modes (revenge bullets+start with 50 lives)
https://www.romhacking.net/hacks/207/

no flash hack - the minimize full screen flashing which this game has a lot of, for health and safety
https://www.romhacking.net/hacks/6389/

not sure if they stack/not really knowledgable of the depths of ips patching but these are definitely worth checking and make some aspects of the game more accessible to those who don't want to put in a bonkers cheat code to play the hard/zanki modes and for those dealing with photosensitivity

1 month ago

@yagihimesama
thank you, I didn't know those existed but I really appreciate you taking the time to link them, especially the no flash hack. good to have them for anyone who might want them or need them

1 month ago

This comment was deleted

1 month ago

As a connoisseur of Bullet Hell games, do you have any reccomendations you'd give as an entryway into the genre?

1 month ago

@HenryVines
I'm not an expert so my opinion might differ from others with more experience to draw from, but I think batsugun special and mushihimesama are pretty good general entry points. for touhou I'd recommend perfect cherry blossom or mountain of faith, and I don't think you can really go wrong with thunder force III, gradius, r-type, or some of the compile stuff like aleste if you want something a little more traditional/straightforward (but I'm least familiar with this category tbh)

zeroranger's one that comes up a lot and seems to have a really high conversion rate as far as newer stuff goes. you lose a lot of nods and throwbacks but honestly the game holds up even if you miss all that stuff so I wouldn't worry about that

I'll throw in armed police batrider just for being extremely sick. don't know if that's a good one for new players or not but I think it conveys just how cool the genre can be better than almost anything

1 month ago

Thank you for the very detailed response!

1 month ago

@henryvines
happy to help :)