figleafplays
30 reviews liked by figleafplays
Buckshot Roulette
2023
I LOVE COINFLIPS
I WANT TO MAKE OVERLY CONFIDENT GUESSES IN 50/50 SCENARIOS RESULTING IN MY VICTORY BEFORE MY OPPONENT GETS TO UTILIZE THEIR PLETHORA OF OPTIONS wait this is just how I play fighting games. This is a fighting game.
I WANT TO MAKE OVERLY CONFIDENT GUESSES IN 50/50 SCENARIOS RESULTING IN MY VICTORY BEFORE MY OPPONENT GETS TO UTILIZE THEIR PLETHORA OF OPTIONS wait this is just how I play fighting games. This is a fighting game.
This review contains spoilers
And so the day was saved again, all thanks to Pearl and her ability to scream extremely loudly into a microphone.
The Gnorp Apologue
2023
Me: "So the gnorps have to hit this rock over and over to collect shards from it, so they can hit the rock with stronger stuff to get more shards. It's a clicker game. It's cute though, I actually like this one!"
My partner: "...Steven, is your computer mining bitcoin right now?"
My partner: "...Steven, is your computer mining bitcoin right now?"
Annalynn
2021
I wasn't expecting much from this, knowing that it's an inexpensive arcade-style game with pixelated art.
It's great. Annalynn is a great game. The amount of love poured into the creation of this thing is obvious, and it handles the idea of "what if Pac-Man was a platforming game" incredibly well.
It's also really dang hard. However, when you run out of lives you're given the option to continue playing at the cost of cutting your score in half.
Really good stuff, incredibly pleasant surprise.
Funny snakes.
It's great. Annalynn is a great game. The amount of love poured into the creation of this thing is obvious, and it handles the idea of "what if Pac-Man was a platforming game" incredibly well.
It's also really dang hard. However, when you run out of lives you're given the option to continue playing at the cost of cutting your score in half.
Really good stuff, incredibly pleasant surprise.
Funny snakes.
Trombone Champ
2022
Kinda funny, but loses a lot of points for lacking custom tracks, being flavor-of-the-week twitchcore garbage, making me dizzy, and also for not having Neutral Milk Hotel's sophomore album In the Aeroplane Over the Sea in its entirety as one of the playable tracks.
Like Annalynn, this is a modern arcade-style game that pulls clear inspiration from 80's-90's arcade games it its style, presentation, and gameplay.
Unlike Annalynn, I'm kinda bored playing Spy Bros.: Pipi & Bibi's DX.
It's kinda like Elevator Action, which I'm not really the biggest fan of to begin with. There's a lot of waiting for elevators to move and doors to open and wishing I was doing something else.
Not to knock Elevator Action too much, it's a fine game and if you like it you might like this. However, you might be better off just playing Elevator Action again. Either way, Spy Bros. delivered about as much as I was expecting from it. It's not bad, but I wasn't really impressed.
Unlike Annalynn, I'm kinda bored playing Spy Bros.: Pipi & Bibi's DX.
It's kinda like Elevator Action, which I'm not really the biggest fan of to begin with. There's a lot of waiting for elevators to move and doors to open and wishing I was doing something else.
Not to knock Elevator Action too much, it's a fine game and if you like it you might like this. However, you might be better off just playing Elevator Action again. Either way, Spy Bros. delivered about as much as I was expecting from it. It's not bad, but I wasn't really impressed.
Hot Wheels Unleashed
2021
I don't know if it's the standard for games featuring loot boxes or if I've just been incredibly lucky at avoiding this exact situation, but getting hit with a loot box before even starting the tutorial has to be some kind of record.
Hot Wheels Unleashed is a cool game in-concept, with highly-detailed (not on the Switch lmao) car models accurately reflecting the actual Hot Wheels model cars, furiously racing down a toy track complete with loop-de-loops, boosts, and off-track sections showcasing that the courses take place inside of a home. These are toys, after all.
In practice, I'm honestly too blinded by anger from the immediate loot boxes and all of the cool cars being DLC that I'm just gonna end the review highly discouraging spending money on anything ever. The one-two-punch of seeing the Mystery Machine as a playable car, and then seeing "Paid DLC" next to it isn't one I'm gonna forget.
Thankfully, I am a drunken sailor.
Hot Wheels Unleashed is a cool game in-concept, with highly-detailed (not on the Switch lmao) car models accurately reflecting the actual Hot Wheels model cars, furiously racing down a toy track complete with loop-de-loops, boosts, and off-track sections showcasing that the courses take place inside of a home. These are toys, after all.
In practice, I'm honestly too blinded by anger from the immediate loot boxes and all of the cool cars being DLC that I'm just gonna end the review highly discouraging spending money on anything ever. The one-two-punch of seeing the Mystery Machine as a playable car, and then seeing "Paid DLC" next to it isn't one I'm gonna forget.
Thankfully, I am a drunken sailor.
no I don't
Omega Strikers
2022
After getting a clutch goal playing as the slime girl in a funny bee costume on a team with my friends over voice chat, I've turned around a little bit on this game.
It's alright.
The emotes that are just jpegs of people's faces zoomed in are hilarious.
League of Legends soccer might not be my thing, but it's not bad.
It's alright.
The emotes that are just jpegs of people's faces zoomed in are hilarious.
League of Legends soccer might not be my thing, but it's not bad.
Cursorblade
2023
About as fun and stimulating as popping bubbles out of a pack of bubble wrap.
I have enough bubble wrap.
I have enough bubble wrap.
