figleafplays
31 Reviews liked by figleafplays
Chillquarium
2023
My partner and I recently bought some chili rasbora for our small fish tank. You'll be surprised to learn that the joy of fish care comes from feeling responsible for the health and happiness of an animal, and not from acquiring billions of imaginary dollars in order to get more fish in order to get more dollars.
Idle games are a blight.
Idle games are a blight.
Buckshot Roulette
2023
I LOVE COINFLIPS
I WANT TO MAKE OVERLY CONFIDENT GUESSES IN 50/50 SCENARIOS RESULTING IN MY VICTORY BEFORE MY OPPONENT GETS TO UTILIZE THEIR PLETHORA OF OPTIONS wait this is just how I play fighting games. This is a fighting game.
I WANT TO MAKE OVERLY CONFIDENT GUESSES IN 50/50 SCENARIOS RESULTING IN MY VICTORY BEFORE MY OPPONENT GETS TO UTILIZE THEIR PLETHORA OF OPTIONS wait this is just how I play fighting games. This is a fighting game.
This review contains spoilers
And so the day was saved again, all thanks to Pearl and her ability to scream extremely loudly into a microphone.
The Gnorp Apologue
2023
Me: "So the gnorps have to hit this rock over and over to collect shards from it, so they can hit the rock with stronger stuff to get more shards. It's a clicker game. It's cute though, I actually like this one!"
My partner: "...Steven, is your computer mining bitcoin right now?"
My partner: "...Steven, is your computer mining bitcoin right now?"
Annalynn
2021
I wasn't expecting much from this, knowing that it's an inexpensive arcade-style game with pixelated art.
It's great. Annalynn is a great game. The amount of love poured into the creation of this thing is obvious, and it handles the idea of "what if Pac-Man was a platforming game" incredibly well.
It's also really dang hard. However, when you run out of lives you're given the option to continue playing at the cost of cutting your score in half.
Really good stuff, incredibly pleasant surprise.
Funny snakes.
It's great. Annalynn is a great game. The amount of love poured into the creation of this thing is obvious, and it handles the idea of "what if Pac-Man was a platforming game" incredibly well.
It's also really dang hard. However, when you run out of lives you're given the option to continue playing at the cost of cutting your score in half.
Really good stuff, incredibly pleasant surprise.
Funny snakes.
Trombone Champ
2022
Kinda funny, but loses a lot of points for lacking custom tracks, being flavor-of-the-week twitchcore garbage, making me dizzy, and also for not having Neutral Milk Hotel's sophomore album In the Aeroplane Over the Sea in its entirety as one of the playable tracks.
Like Annalynn, this is a modern arcade-style game that pulls clear inspiration from 80's-90's arcade games it its style, presentation, and gameplay.
Unlike Annalynn, I'm kinda bored playing Spy Bros.: Pipi & Bibi's DX.
It's kinda like Elevator Action, which I'm not really the biggest fan of to begin with. There's a lot of waiting for elevators to move and doors to open and wishing I was doing something else.
Not to knock Elevator Action too much, it's a fine game and if you like it you might like this. However, you might be better off just playing Elevator Action again. Either way, Spy Bros. delivered about as much as I was expecting from it. It's not bad, but I wasn't really impressed.
Unlike Annalynn, I'm kinda bored playing Spy Bros.: Pipi & Bibi's DX.
It's kinda like Elevator Action, which I'm not really the biggest fan of to begin with. There's a lot of waiting for elevators to move and doors to open and wishing I was doing something else.
Not to knock Elevator Action too much, it's a fine game and if you like it you might like this. However, you might be better off just playing Elevator Action again. Either way, Spy Bros. delivered about as much as I was expecting from it. It's not bad, but I wasn't really impressed.
Hot Wheels Unleashed
2021
I don't know if it's the standard for games featuring loot boxes or if I've just been incredibly lucky at avoiding this exact situation, but getting hit with a loot box before even starting the tutorial has to be some kind of record.
Hot Wheels Unleashed is a cool game in-concept, with highly-detailed (not on the Switch lmao) car models accurately reflecting the actual Hot Wheels model cars, furiously racing down a toy track complete with loop-de-loops, boosts, and off-track sections showcasing that the courses take place inside of a home. These are toys, after all.
In practice, I'm honestly too blinded by anger from the immediate loot boxes and all of the cool cars being DLC that I'm just gonna end the review highly discouraging spending money on anything ever. The one-two-punch of seeing the Mystery Machine as a playable car, and then seeing "Paid DLC" next to it isn't one I'm gonna forget.
Thankfully, I am a drunken sailor.
Hot Wheels Unleashed is a cool game in-concept, with highly-detailed (not on the Switch lmao) car models accurately reflecting the actual Hot Wheels model cars, furiously racing down a toy track complete with loop-de-loops, boosts, and off-track sections showcasing that the courses take place inside of a home. These are toys, after all.
In practice, I'm honestly too blinded by anger from the immediate loot boxes and all of the cool cars being DLC that I'm just gonna end the review highly discouraging spending money on anything ever. The one-two-punch of seeing the Mystery Machine as a playable car, and then seeing "Paid DLC" next to it isn't one I'm gonna forget.
Thankfully, I am a drunken sailor.
no I don't
Omega Strikers
2022
After getting a clutch goal playing as the slime girl in a funny bee costume on a team with my friends over voice chat, I've turned around a little bit on this game.
It's alright.
The emotes that are just jpegs of people's faces zoomed in are hilarious.
League of Legends soccer might not be my thing, but it's not bad.
It's alright.
The emotes that are just jpegs of people's faces zoomed in are hilarious.
League of Legends soccer might not be my thing, but it's not bad.
Cursorblade
2023
About as fun and stimulating as popping bubbles out of a pack of bubble wrap.
I have enough bubble wrap.
I have enough bubble wrap.
I've recently developed a soft spot for PUNKCAKE Délicieux, developer and publisher of Shotgun King: the Final Checkmate, Antecrypt, and MoonPong: Tales of Epic Lunacy, after playing (and giving up on) Antecrypt in particular. I respect their consistency in releasing monthly games. They remind me of Sokpop Collective for similar reasons: small group, regular quick game release schedule, similar art direction in all of their games, and slapping ideas together to see what sticks.
After being exposed to tons of shovelware on Switch and Steam, it's nice playing these quick-idea games without feeling like I've been tricked.
I really liked playing Antecrypt, and I really liked playing MoonPong. They're both simple enough arcade-style games with interesting ideas that don't overstay their welcome. MoonPong, with its core gameplay of rotating a paddle around a circle to bounce a ball at enemies while preventing it from leaving the circle, strikes a nice balance for me between mindlessly zoning out while the moon bounces off of enemies and carefully planning where your paddle should be to prevent a game-over.
It's nice. It doesn't blow my mind or anything, but in a sea of long-term-cash-flow schemes and creative bankruptcy, I'll take "nice."
After being exposed to tons of shovelware on Switch and Steam, it's nice playing these quick-idea games without feeling like I've been tricked.
I really liked playing Antecrypt, and I really liked playing MoonPong. They're both simple enough arcade-style games with interesting ideas that don't overstay their welcome. MoonPong, with its core gameplay of rotating a paddle around a circle to bounce a ball at enemies while preventing it from leaving the circle, strikes a nice balance for me between mindlessly zoning out while the moon bounces off of enemies and carefully planning where your paddle should be to prevent a game-over.
It's nice. It doesn't blow my mind or anything, but in a sea of long-term-cash-flow schemes and creative bankruptcy, I'll take "nice."
Me in the mid-to-late 2000's: "The King of All Cosmos is strange and unusual and he needs to be nicer to his son."
Me in 2024: "The King of All Cosmos is the only monarch I would willingly take a bullet for."
I'm taking a star away because this isn't a great remaster, especially with the pop-in/draw-distance issues making it impossible to see far away rollable things. It's still We Love Katamari though, and I'm happy that it's become more accessible than ever with the re-release.
The Royal Reverie part of the game isn't nearly good enough to warrant including it in the title, no matter how much I love The King of All Cosmos. Still, it was great playing We Love Katamari again.
Me in 2024: "The King of All Cosmos is the only monarch I would willingly take a bullet for."
I'm taking a star away because this isn't a great remaster, especially with the pop-in/draw-distance issues making it impossible to see far away rollable things. It's still We Love Katamari though, and I'm happy that it's become more accessible than ever with the re-release.
The Royal Reverie part of the game isn't nearly good enough to warrant including it in the title, no matter how much I love The King of All Cosmos. Still, it was great playing We Love Katamari again.
Devil World
1984
Since Devil World got added to the Nintendo Switch NES Online, I figured I should give it another shot.
My confused first impression of it was fair, but incorrect. "Why can't I eat the dots?" Get a cross. "How do I beat the bad guys?" Get a cross and press B. I like it now, especially understanding how to actually play it. It's not bad. It's not great either, but interesting for its time. Pac-Man but more convoluted. And worse. Still alright though.
I understand why this game wasn't released in the US back in 1987, the puritans would've probably burst into flames. I, for one, will eat my communion wafers next to my fire-breath-inducing crucifix with great joy.
My confused first impression of it was fair, but incorrect. "Why can't I eat the dots?" Get a cross. "How do I beat the bad guys?" Get a cross and press B. I like it now, especially understanding how to actually play it. It's not bad. It's not great either, but interesting for its time. Pac-Man but more convoluted. And worse. Still alright though.
I understand why this game wasn't released in the US back in 1987, the puritans would've probably burst into flames. I, for one, will eat my communion wafers next to my fire-breath-inducing crucifix with great joy.
Picayune Dreams
2023
This is the best survivors-like I've played.
I've mentioned in a few other reviews that every single "survivors-like" is better than the original for one primary reason: the art direction. The art direction of Vampire Survivors is dogwater. The music sucks, the spritework sucks, the visual effects are obnoxious. Then you've got games like 20 Minutes 'Til Dawn kicking its ass just by sticking with a simple color palette.
The overall presentation of this thing is outstanding. Not only does the art direction of Picayune Dreams actually fucking rule (thanks ANDY LAND and co.), but the game itself doesn't make me want to fall asleep, thanks to both the ability to play the game at double-speed by pressing a button to skip the brain-off-no-thoughts-to-be-found level grinding, and the bosses.
I love the bosses.
People flip-flop between calling games of this genre "survivors-like" and "bullet-heaven", and while I think both names blow tremendous amounts of ass, there's something to note about the latter. Avoiding large swaths of slow-moving pathetic, easily-dispensable hordes of enemies feels very close to a shmup game, albeit with way less required skill. Picayune Dreams goes ahead and says "here's an actual bullet-hell boss. Have fun!" And then I do.
Plus, by having an actual plot and story beatable in under 10 hours (it took me 11), there's a tangible feeling of "okay, the game is over so you can take a shower and go outside now" missing from every other survivors-like I've played up to this point.
Here's to hoping this game signals a sharp increase in quality of Vampire Survivors bullet-fart games of its ilk, because Picayune Dreams clears.
If you like these kinds of games, play this one. And then stop. This genre sucks. This one's good though.
I've mentioned in a few other reviews that every single "survivors-like" is better than the original for one primary reason: the art direction. The art direction of Vampire Survivors is dogwater. The music sucks, the spritework sucks, the visual effects are obnoxious. Then you've got games like 20 Minutes 'Til Dawn kicking its ass just by sticking with a simple color palette.
The overall presentation of this thing is outstanding. Not only does the art direction of Picayune Dreams actually fucking rule (thanks ANDY LAND and co.), but the game itself doesn't make me want to fall asleep, thanks to both the ability to play the game at double-speed by pressing a button to skip the brain-off-no-thoughts-to-be-found level grinding, and the bosses.
I love the bosses.
People flip-flop between calling games of this genre "survivors-like" and "bullet-heaven", and while I think both names blow tremendous amounts of ass, there's something to note about the latter. Avoiding large swaths of slow-moving pathetic, easily-dispensable hordes of enemies feels very close to a shmup game, albeit with way less required skill. Picayune Dreams goes ahead and says "here's an actual bullet-hell boss. Have fun!" And then I do.
Plus, by having an actual plot and story beatable in under 10 hours (it took me 11), there's a tangible feeling of "okay, the game is over so you can take a shower and go outside now" missing from every other survivors-like I've played up to this point.
Here's to hoping this game signals a sharp increase in quality of Vampire Survivors bullet-fart games of its ilk, because Picayune Dreams clears.
If you like these kinds of games, play this one. And then stop. This genre sucks. This one's good though.