139 Reviews liked by jtduckman


I should have bought Marvel vs capcom 3

I'd gladly sacrifice the entire Forza franchise if it meant getting just one more PGR game.

"That which is perfect is finished"

there is a specific allure to things that don't exist anymore. This isn't exactly the case with ps home now, but it's not entirely functional again at least yet. Still, that creates its own different type of interest

Truth of the matter is, many games that have been shutdown had somewhat inevitable deaths, be it due to waning interest by the players or the developers or both, added to the sheer action of time and money and changes of console generations. Not that this isn't a shame, it is, but it's understandable why it happens. This very much applies to home.

"The past, present and future of games" (description for Alpha Zone 1 - Game Test Area)

Projects such as destination home and toontown rewritten serve to freeze time in their own small ways. Preserve a bit of live service gaming history for the foreseeable future
I never played toontown on its original release and didn't play much home. But it's so interesting to me seeing these lovable 3d spaces be afforded a second chance

Home is functionally pure vibes, because the actual videogames in it are mostly lousy. But, since it's a time capsule especially, and we know which turns this type of software took and whatnot, there's a melancholy added to these already mostly empty feeling places
The private spaces, which were always supposed to be barely populated, are kinda depressing. But they're cool

Seeing the advertisements for games released at least a decade ago, weird, obsolete brand tie-ins, feeling the load times, seeing how long player avatars take to load on actual hardware. It's a perfect time capsule of this game's time's imperfections, the ambitions of sony's capital expressing themselves in peculiar manners we'll never see again, however always questionable they were. The game itself has a museum for a partially in-game ARG that had been shut down, which is extra poetic nowadays.
Ps home is lovely because it's not monetized anymore, because it doesn't advertise anything new, because it's stuck in around a decade ago. Its main worth to me is in death (of course this isn't true to many people, who made friends in the game and whatnot) but it had to live to then die. It's interesting to think about, I think

When i was told this game is unbearable i thought people were being hyperbolic. No, infact they downplayed it. This is the worst game i have ever played. This is the worst camera ever and it requires you to do 3D platforming. Video footage does not convey how disorrienting it is to try and play this game and have a sound understanding of 3D space at any given time while trying to use your jetpack. Enemies are never on screen. Weapons shoot weaker than the dudes in jav porn and bosses have 7 quintillion health so any boss fight takes 15 minutes when they have maybe 3 moves at most. Now i understand why this game isn't backwards compatible or available digitally. Respect on capcom not scamming poor suckers who don't know just how bad this is.

every character acts like they've been strapped down to a chair and were forced to listen to barney youtube poop remixes at ear rape volume

The best simulation racing game that will ever exist. The technological and licensing circumstances that led to this game will never happen again.

The game's presentation conveys a hushed, reverent worship of the automobile and motorsports. It's a classy, understated magnificence that no other racing game has come close to capturing. It also functions really well as a virtual museum of car history.

Shame the progression is so wonky and cheeseable.

When you realize that 90℅ of players are actually bot accounts and you were alone this entire time

Recently I got myself a PS5 and was somewhat surprised by how meagre its Classics selection of PS1 and PS2 titles was in the store. Well aware that these are emulated games that require high precision and stability to be sold on the official storefront, I was still shocked to see Sony offer titles like Tekken 2 and literally all the Syphon Filter games over anything else that would come to your mind were you to think about PS Classics (and what Sony themselves put on that PSOne mini machine). The point is, despite owning the current gen Sony console I have no legit option of experiencing the beginning of some of the famous Sony franchises, which just feels... wrong. And this got me thinking about games preservation in general.

Usually the discussion of the topic is focused on old and rare physical-only titles or relatively recent games stuck in legal limbo and therefore unavailable to buy or run comfortably on modern systems. But here's an example of another side of the issue. Go ahead and visit the official Need for Speed franchise page on the EA website. You will see that the earliest title EA seems to acknowledge (and sell) is the Most Wanted remake from 2012. Sure, the sheer memetic power of the original Most Wanted and the Underground series is so strong that the general audience still knows that there were other big street racing titles prior to 2012, but what about something earlier than that? One would have to dig into the wiki pages to even learn that there were NFS titles prior to Underground, and in fact the series' whole aesthetic and identity were quite different from what is maintained to this day. The number of ratings on the games in the series on this very website is telling in how well known each entry is.

So Porsche Unleashed is a relatively obscure title. Looking up the game on YouTube I was hoping to see many "hidden gem" videos talking about it or retrospectives, but there's not that much and what little there is comes from hardcore racing games enthusiasts. Needless to say, obtaining the game these days and running it on Windows 11 is another issue. I had to download a .rar with the already installed and pre-patched game from a Russian forum, and I still could only play in windowed mode. One would have better luck obtaining a PS1 disc and playing that, but that's the thing--it's the PC version that is truly special.

This game was a regular EA yearly franchise installment release. Came out exactly one year after the previous game EA Canada worked on, in fact, that being Need for Speed: High Stakes. And that alone makes it all the more fascinating that Porsche Unleashed is not an iterative sequel one would expect but a major side step in the series. This here is a full fledged car simulation game, one of the first racing titles that got a proper model calculating the impact of car damage on performance. And it's an historic game, not only letting you race on Porsche cars from the 50s all the way to year 2000 but also providing detailed stats and preserving each car's character with how it handles in-game. Of course this is all looking somewhat quaint from today's perspective, but back then there wasn't much, if anything, like it. And it was a yearly release.

The handling takes some getting used to. It's very easy to spin out just from nervously adjusting your trajectory on the straight. More powerful cars from the 70s and 80s can barely turn a corner, and it's worse on wet tarmac and ice. But finally getting a fast and nimble 911 '00 at the end feels most rewarding as you zoom through the familiar tracks with surprising ease. The introduction of a car damage model means that careless driving will quickly lead to worse handling and acceleration and, crucially, higher repair costs before the next race. It also means that you can cause funny little fatal accidents for your opponents that can genuinely change the race's outcome as there's not much rubberbanding going on. The tracks are also notable, since most of them are not usual circuits but point to point races set in diverse locals around Western Europe. The courses are long and intricate with several distinct stages to them and a variety of route options (which are not always shortcuts). Some of the later tracks may actually seem like a puzzle at first due to how many options you're presented with. And the simulation aspect of the game informs your tuning decisions for the races: the Alps course has a terrifying icy mid-section that could benefit from the better grip provided by rain tires, but there are also a set of hairpins at the start and a fast slalom-like dirt section at the end. Different cars with different setups will provide a different driving experience just on this one track. Granted, the same simulation shtick can occasionally make racing quite frustrating, especially as you adapt to new cars, get into crashes and spend precious money on repairs. The progression system overall isn't great. You need to buy specific cars to enter new tournaments, you also need money for upgrading the car and paying the entry fee. And you can't exactly hit restart in case you made a mistake. Thankfully you can avoid grinding previous races just by buying, repairing and selling used cars for nice profit.

The presentation is also very 2000, for better or worse. If Underground and the following titles could easily be traced back to the Fast and Furious movies, I suppose here the companion film would be Gone In 60 Seconds? Except Nicolas Cage got spiky hair and a goatee. There's that weird vibe or prestige classy racing with all the expensive cars and lush locals, but it's all set to the dorkiest trance music.

This is probably way too much text dedicated to an outdated racing title from two decades back, but it's way too fascinating of a project for me to just ignore. A major deviation in an iterative yearly series, one that is now long forgotten even by the original publisher. A part of a still ongoing massive franchise that simply ignores most of its legacy. Triple A abandonware, if you will.

Fun Taiko inspired game if you have the bongos, not worth a play without them tbh.
Also who the hell approved this tracklist?

NiseKei is forever my enemy as long as the sun, moon, and this hellish Earth exists. I'm never playing a party game again.

My ass is not getting all the weapons

"We burn our black streaks into the freezing cold asphalt. These are the records of our existence." is one of the coldest things I've ever read. This era of square was so sick

Me when I'm in a "shut down the best racing game developers" competition and my opponent is Sony

I wish this was the Street Fighter that was out when I tried to be good at Street Fighter. Unfortunately, the Street Fighter that was out when I tried to be good was Street Fighter 4.

14 years ago, Street Fighter 4 ruled, and still rules today. But it was also an unforgiving experience. A mean game that builds grit and passion. I couldn't do it.

14 years later, Street Fighter 6 is softer, compromising and stretches its arms wide to embrace all. A modern control scheme, removal of mash-button-attacks and a real single-player experience make this a landmark title in fighting game indoctrination. But deep down, behind its welcoming facade, is the same beast Street Fighter always was. And always will be.

14 years older, and I have not the strength to wrestle the beast. I'm glad to have tussled and thrown a few haymakers, but I'm out-paced, out-skilled, out-witted, out-of-breath and out-of-time.

“Are you ready for your movement shooter lessons?”

Doom Eternal gulps

ULTRAKILL breathes heavily

Quake 3 nods nervously

Titanfall 2 sighs

“Yes, Senran Kagura: Peach Beach Splash" they say in unison