justsayokdad
2002
I don't know what to score this game, obviously such a nightmare but I'm so glad it exists. In some ways these are my favourite games, just complete freakshows. Total Frankenstein's monster games that have been given a few too many bolts of electricity to their dead, beating hearts. I played almost all the way through this w a friend one time, using save states and a walkthrough to get around it's absolute unplayability. And there was only one walkthrough we could find online, and midway through the guy writing had just given up and written "sorry I can't do this anymore". Like it was a suicide note or something. I mean, that has to count for something. Gamers will famously swallow a lotta bullshit but this one may be true kryptonite. Love it.
2010
Truly the product of an evil time and culture. One of the most Iraq War era games of all time. Where James Bond quips become rape jokes and saving the world is as easy as calling terrorists retards. The gold AR trophy referencing Saddam is an insane inclusion. And as always in video games, we must suffer a bunch of nerd's ideas of how hot, badass people would talk, as if they've ever met any. I really love that this game exists. The craziest thing about it might be that they stuck with calling their superspy, assassin protagonist Mike. So funny lol. Mike the spy.
2016
A game about going as far away as you possibly can from your wife just to still fail at cheating on her.
2004
I have to be honest, I witnessed someone I care about have one of the most heartbreaking emotional breakdowns I've ever seen as they lost to the computer in this game. Haunts me to this day.
2004
One time I made myself and my brother in this game, as well as a highly accurate recreation of the tiny apartment we shared. It was super nightmarish and I regretted it immediately as I wondered which of the two mirrored lives had more substance. Other than that I just always made large italian families I pretended were in the mob.
Still waiting on them to make a proper full game version of this...hopefully it's coming soon!
2012
I would put in the time beating this game if the final puzzle lead to a still-active twitter page for Phil Fish. Can't believe everyone collectively pretended they didn't love the guy who tweeted gold like, "absolutely pathetic, ball-less man boobs" at shitty youtube game critics. One of the best to ever do it. Miss him <3
The funniest moments in games always happen when you feel like you're getting away with something the game never expected or wanted you to do. Even if it's an illusion every double act needs a straight man who's in on the joke but never cracks a smile. Having a game lean into your face and choke hot laughter at you saying, "isn't this all so FUNNY! Isn't it RANDOM!? There's a TIGER in the car with you all of a sudden!" is like the gaming equivalent of having a drunk dude corner you at the party and recite Anchorman.
The game mostly has you witness scheduled "funny bits" instead of allowing you to truly participate in, or instigate them. It hands you the "funny weapon" and tells you, "this is the funny weapon". And personally I find it hard to laugh at the joke when the guy telling it won't stop winking at me or honking his big red clown nose.
The game mostly has you witness scheduled "funny bits" instead of allowing you to truly participate in, or instigate them. It hands you the "funny weapon" and tells you, "this is the funny weapon". And personally I find it hard to laugh at the joke when the guy telling it won't stop winking at me or honking his big red clown nose.
Legos shouldn't talk.
2013
Really the "Dark Souls" of interactive text games.
2013
When the game starts you're already a strike-breaking Pinkerton who's committed acts of racial genocide yet somehow the twist of this game is you were a bad guy all along.
2020
A great example of a game that fucks up on the simple stuff and makes me hate it. Just moving through the castle is torture. Having to walk to the edge of the screen in every room over and over again at your stupid, leisurely monarch pace. I feel like game-makers get let off the hook way to easy for this shit. Mechanically there's nothing interesting going on and no effort to connect mechanics w content. This is core game shit imo. Played it a while ago and probably had more concrete complaints then but I don't remember them.
2013
A game about how you can't make good art if you've got a family cause your stupid wife and kid will want to OCCASIONALLY talk to you for some reason. If that's true the developer definitely could've neglected his family a little more while making this.
2016
Me and a friend played this at an airport cause our plane was delayed. I don't think it's a bad game but, even now, I'd happily trade my experience playing it to have had the plane come in on time.
I am 7 feet tall. 7"2 counting my mohawk. I skulk around a florida hotel looking for girls in bikinis to take pictures of. Why you ask? I can't quite remember. Either to pacify or to blackmail a horny road manager I'm dealing with, I can't remember which. It hardly matters to me. I'm simply a vessel for the BOARD, and I came here to do 2 things: heelflip grind Lenin's grave, and rep New Jersey till the day I fucking die. And guess what? I haven't stopped bleeding Red, White and Jersey for 1 second. Uh oh. Looks like time's up for you Mr Lenin ;)