Pizza Tower is a perfect videogame. A crowning achievement in videogaming. One of the finest videogames the world has ever known. Everything about the videogame is perfect. Presentation is aces, from the psycho 90s cartoon aesthetic to the little things like the game needing a button prompt to turn the lights on in the file select menu (lest something FUNNY happen). The music is nothing but fantastic, catchy tunes that set the tone for the levels and bosses to follow.

Level are designed to put your mastery of the games incredible movement to the test as you bash, throw and piledrive your way through all sorts of crazy bullshit the game throws at you. Every level also has some different shit to throw at you, like taking taxis to optional areas in a city level only for you to be sent to jail because the taxi turned out to be a cop car. Or the animatronic jumpscare level. Or the damn Mort the Chicken for the Playstation One console level.

Going for 101% really gave me an appreciation for how the game and the levels are structured. The highest honor you can get in a Pizza Tower level is the P rank. P rank means you reached a certain score threshold while obtaining all collectibles in the level while never dropping your combo, which is added upon by defeating enemies and kept going by collecting points. In practice, going for P ranks is like Crash Bandicoot 4's perfect relics, except Pizza Tower is significantly less punishing and repetitive which makes the process of perfecting a level actually fun. Except for Gnome Forest, no one has fun in Gnome Forest.

Last thing I want to rant about is that while the story is largely basic the game's ending which is just excellently put together. The game foreshadows what's going to go down and you get it but you don't care because it's so sick it doesn't even matter. You get your chance to fight the bastard that's been tormenting you the whole game, there's a little surprise in there, and then the final stretch of the boss and the subsequent mad dash out is pure catharsis in a way games rarely do.

All in all, perfect videogame. Purchase it now, and then purchase it later when it's ported probably. After that, purchase it again when it gets a physical release. And then play it, I heard the game's pretty good.

Battletoads, like its predecessor, is a variety game that doesn't do any of the variety stuff well. The closest the gameplay gets to good is during the beat-em-up segments and they aren't without their follies either.

Most of the problems with the gameplay could be waved off if they nailed what they were trying to do with the presentation but it's miserably unfunny most of the time with maybe a sensible chuckle at best, and while I don't hate the artstyle it's not the best thing in the world either.

I AM glad that I forced my friend to play it to completion after literal years of prodding however. What a moment of time Battletoads (2020) will be!