So, uh, I spent an estimated $7 on this machine at the local casino and I didn't win anything. Nothing. Not even one of those pity winnings that are at a weird diagonal angle and are made up of Jacks and net you, like, five cents. This streak of bad luck especially stings because this game has, like a 35 cent minimum bet. Bang for your buck, right? NOPE

If you're an old cat lady then this machine might have some appeal that'll get you to blow $75 and have you tap the screen like a freak (which, BTW, doesn't do anything! Stop!!!), but you're better off playing one of the many cheap slot machines that a casino inevitably has somewhere in the building. I enjoy a bit of Rawhide myself.

"But, Mundy! This listing is for a free play app version of Kitty Glitter! You know IGDB doesn't allow games where you can wage real money!"
It's the same experience anyhow. :)

to: doom-guy@uac-phobos.net

subject: what the fuck

attachment: diseased_dick_3.wad

A 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Brooklyn detective is asked by the model Tatjana Simic to retrieve some of her stolen photographs. He is directed to a mid-90s CGI office, where he manages to solve the case by tearing open random letters that contain the increasingly-sexual photos of Tatjana. However, he is constantly interfered by sapient blobs of ink and floating jigsaw pieces he needs to collect, as well as his need to open the letter one chunk at a time, in perfectly horizontal/vertical cuts like he's doing it with an Etch-a-Ske-

Oh hell, this is just 18+ Qix.

Somehow, this CD-i title manages to exude "2.4-star Flash adult game that you fondly remember alongside Meet 'n Fuck: Detective RPG" energies, long before Newgrounds was a thing. I honestly would've forgotten about my playthrough of Uncover had it not been for three things, two of which were emulation faults:

1) The only CD-i emulator that supports the Digital Video Cartridge can't handle multi-tracked CDs. You either have to merge the tracks into one file or open the first track containing the game data, and the latter option makes the emulator play horrible, glitched digital audio. This game is on a multi-tracked CD. As a result, the act of opening a single letter made me feel as nervous as that detective probably was.

2) It didn't help that the first picture I uncovered wasn't displaying properly, making the whole game feel like a classic Vinesauce corruption. (This was corrected by the second photograph, which properly displayed Tatjana in outlaw getup.)

3) Upon exiting the game, our "hero" is caught by the porno picture thief and, left with no other escape option, ends up having to defenestrate himself through the only window in the room.

Side-note: Why are there SO MANY porn or porn-adjacent titles on the CD-i. Sourcing from The World of CD-i, there's The Joy of Sex, Strip Poker Pro, Strip Poker Live, Voyeur, the cancelled CD-i port of Voyeur II, Loving for a Lifetime, Girls, Vegas Girls, Secrets of Tatjana and, of course, this very game. Plus, half of The Vision Factory's output features a sexy babe within them, most famously the nude easter eggs from The Apprentice, and there's likely a couple of obscure adult titles that I couldn't find.

This isn't a bad thing by any means, but this list combined with the CD-i's smaller-sized output makes it feel like a Certified Gooner Console.