Divine Sealing
released on Dec 31, 1991
Falchion is an ace pilot in the Space Defense Force, and the pilot of a space ship known as Divine. On his way back to his home planet, daydreaming about girls, Divine's computer picks up a transmission from a nearby planet. Answering the transmission, it turns out to be a distress call from a beautiful woman on the Water Planet. "Save me..." she pleads, "and I will lend you my power." Falchion, lonely bachelor in space that he is, can't say no to a pretty face, and flies off towards the Water Planet.
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It's such a bad game, for starters you don't get power ups or new shots when you face a group of enemies or find a capsule out there and the music is horrible (and at the same time kind of sexy because it's an unlicensed adult game), anyway. It's a shit game that urgently needs an 18+ remake, adding more attributes to the characters (I imagine the second one with huge breasts, I'm attracted to her)
I've often wondered what exactly makes a game "the worst" I've played in an objective sense. The stuff that doesn't involve shit that just pisses me off specifically like terrible remakes that are used as judgment pieces for the superior original, or games that I think did active harm to the industry. I'd imagine it would have to be a game that is either a potential physical or emotional health risk.
Well, this one threatened to give me a headache with some of the terrible water effects/backgrounds, and features unmentionables that would require me to put a trigger warning in order to go into detail, so I guess this is in the running now.
Well, this one threatened to give me a headache with some of the terrible water effects/backgrounds, and features unmentionables that would require me to put a trigger warning in order to go into detail, so I guess this is in the running now.
One of my biggest regrets in my life is seeing The Ring, because even to this day sitting in front of static on televisions for too long freaks me out. At one point I could hear television static through walls, I became so paranoid about it. I played this game without having any context for what it is. The "reward" sequence is the closest I've ever come to feeling like I was right to be afraid because I was going to die now. It's also not a very fun shootemup.
Wow guys bootleg game bad who could have guess? Why did I even play this. It's like a really bad shmup like so bad I'm amazed that one ranking list on Youtube for Mega Drive shmups rated this higher then Super Thunder Blade. It not only has awful looking backgrounds, but there's 0 variety in the weapons. In fact I'm pretty sure you just get them when you get a 1-up. Once you're fully powered up the only thing gonna get you is when they spam 100 projectiles at you or those red diamonds try to kamikazee into you. What's even weirder is this is the only shmup I know where holding the button is better than mashing it.
Obviously the big appeal here is the Anime girl pictures. I think you're doing non consensual stuff to them? Personally I'm not a fan, like should I feel glad I'm doing this? Who knows maybe if I could read it, maybe this isn't the case. I'm just judging it off what the images show. If for some reason this is the only reason you're playing the game, here's a tip. Just go look up the sprite sheet that shows all the girl images, there I saved you time. The only good thing about this game is it doesn't piss me off so it's still not as bad as Heavy Nova but it sure is close. Just avoid this game.
Obviously the big appeal here is the Anime girl pictures. I think you're doing non consensual stuff to them? Personally I'm not a fan, like should I feel glad I'm doing this? Who knows maybe if I could read it, maybe this isn't the case. I'm just judging it off what the images show. If for some reason this is the only reason you're playing the game, here's a tip. Just go look up the sprite sheet that shows all the girl images, there I saved you time. The only good thing about this game is it doesn't piss me off so it's still not as bad as Heavy Nova but it sure is close. Just avoid this game.
TW// sexual content, abuse
Yeah yeah the unlicensed porn shmup is dogshit, who would've fucking guessed. Play bad shmup, get stills of naked anime girls. But this game has this added uncomfortable vibe I find so bizarre. The shmup sections go beyond being pathetic and have genuinely eye-straining visuals, bordering on seizure-inducing if they were any flashier. First stage in particular has this garish water background where the layers are slightly disjointed and scroll and unnatural speeds, and on CRT I could hardly look at it without my head hurting. And when you do get to the strip scenes, all the girls look visibly scared as they get naked, and there's this oddly haunting music track that plays, all on solid black backdrop. It's chilling. Literally the only thing keeping it from rape-adjacent is that there's tons of untranslated dialogue per scene that could MAYBE, SOMEHOW indicate otherwise. I'm not smart enough to explain the design scheme that comes of playing physically painful shmup stages in exchange for suspiciously non-con sexual content, but yeah, it sure is something perplexing. A smarter indie dev could probably make something non-exploitative under this harrowing psychological ludonarrative - hell, someone probably already has.
Yeah yeah the unlicensed porn shmup is dogshit, who would've fucking guessed. Play bad shmup, get stills of naked anime girls. But this game has this added uncomfortable vibe I find so bizarre. The shmup sections go beyond being pathetic and have genuinely eye-straining visuals, bordering on seizure-inducing if they were any flashier. First stage in particular has this garish water background where the layers are slightly disjointed and scroll and unnatural speeds, and on CRT I could hardly look at it without my head hurting. And when you do get to the strip scenes, all the girls look visibly scared as they get naked, and there's this oddly haunting music track that plays, all on solid black backdrop. It's chilling. Literally the only thing keeping it from rape-adjacent is that there's tons of untranslated dialogue per scene that could MAYBE, SOMEHOW indicate otherwise. I'm not smart enough to explain the design scheme that comes of playing physically painful shmup stages in exchange for suspiciously non-con sexual content, but yeah, it sure is something perplexing. A smarter indie dev could probably make something non-exploitative under this harrowing psychological ludonarrative - hell, someone probably already has.
Your reward for beating a level in this completely bland, ugly and soulless shooter is looking at naked anime girls. If you want that, there's better options out there.