Fat Princess should thank its lucky stars that 2010-era Internet lingo is so old-fashioned that it barely registers as a "meme" anymore because there is nothing scarier than starting a video game and seeing the loading screen say "Now with more Internet memes!". (There's All Your Base and pwned jokes in this game, in case you're wondering)

As for the actual gameplay, I can't rate the multiplayer since I was unable to play it, but the single player campaign for this game is the most wonderful blend of frustrating and entertaining. I spent over 45 minutes on a match and I felt like a goddamn champion after I finally broke the stalemate.

Sure, some of that excitement wore off when the resulting story mode cutscene told me that Fat Princess got kidnapped again and I better go do it again, but in that brief moment, I was the greatest Captain of the Guard.

Real time strategy games are one thing, but when you add the words fat, princess, and cake to the title it becomes something magical. Fat Princess is an RTS that really makes you adrenaline pump. You have different classes such as warriors, wizards, priests, workers etc. but call this game an RTS lite because the game is all about action.

The main story consists of 15 levels and each one is different and super fun with a very interesting fairy tale story that is being told. You slowly unlock different units to use, but how you use them is key. Each unit can be upgraded to use different weapons such as the warrior can be upgraded to use a halberd, the archer can use a gun, and the worker can use bombs to blow up structures. Your main goal is usually getting the enemies princess into your dungeon, so think of this as capture the flag. You can feed your princess cake to fatten her up so it is harder for the enemy to take her away. The enemy will also try to build ladders near your castle or find shortcuts so watch out.


Workers have two different resources for upgraded “Hat Machines” or completing different objectives that require them. You can gather wood and metal by hacking away at it and carrying it to your base. Most resources will grow back after a few minutes, but it’s a fight for the best areas. You can capture command posts as well to keep a firm hold on the map.

But like I said the game is about action so unit building and all the resource gathering is faster. Each unit is AI controlled and you can call some guys to fight by your side and help you escort the princess. You can call an archer, warrior, and a priest who will have hearts under them and you can move faster. If the enemies princess is too fat, however, you can’t carry her at all.


The fun part about Fat Princess is how the tide of the battle does a tug of war and can be really intense. Choosing what to do is up to you. Do you want to help heal everyone as a priest? Help upgrade the hat machines? Do you want to charge right into the castle yourself and get the princess? While the AI controlled guys may have some issues going online via infrastructure is the icing on this cake. Playing against real people can be a blast since they pretty much know what to do.


Besides all this, you can customize the unit of your people and do skirmishes, but other than that the game is light on modes and extras. Fat Princess is chalk full of internet quotes, and game-related nuances so there are laughs all around. Fat Princess is a wonderful light RTS for pick up and plays action. Plus the game looks and sounds great on the PSP and doesn’t lose anything from the PS3 port.