Amazing game, why didn't I play it sooner? Eight-year-old me would have been HEAD OVER HEELS for this, I can tell.

Anyway, have any of y'all ever fantasized about video games that don't, and likely never will exist? Between 2014-2015, I constantly daydreamed about a traditional sidescrolling Kirby game for the Wii U titled "Kirby's Return to Dream Land 2". Real creative title, I know. Since I had only played Return to Dream Land on Wii at the time (as well as Rainbow Curse when that came out), and saw a few gameplay videos of past games, mainly Epic Yarn, I took a rehashed, dumbed down version of this game's synopsis and slapped Return to Dream Land's gameplay style on there for this hypothetical Wii U outing, complete with the Super Abilities. Instead of Yin Yarn sending Kirby to Patch Land and turning Dream Land into fabric, Kirby, Bandana Dee, Meta Knight and Dedede get banished to a faraway solar system reminiscent of Patch Land (minus the patches and yarn and all that jazz) by... evil doppelgangers of themselves. (I was, like, 9, okay?) I think I might have just straight-up depicted it as Patch Land at one point, but changed my mind about that later. Those six planets would each have their own themes that were similar to the pieces of Patch Land. The first world was, surprise surprise, a grass world where you swing an Ultra Sword and fight Whispy Woods. The bosses in this "game" would actually have entire levels leading up to them, something Star Allies ended up doing later. The first world even had an adjacent hubworld akin to Quilty Square, where you could play minigames, test copy abilities, and make your own space. Anyway, the second planet was a desert, similar to Hot Land if Pyramid Sands were its only level, and the boss would be Hooplagoon from Rainbow Curse. The third planet was candy-themed, like Treat Land, and Kracko was its boss. (Why wasn't he in the original RTDL, anyway?) The fourth planet was an ocean, much like Water Land, where you fight Acro from the Dark Matter trilogy. The fifth is, you guessed it, an ice planet akin to Snow Land! It also featured the only original idea I had for a boss in this "game", that being an Ice Golem. Cherish it. The sixth planet, instead of being themed around future-tech and space like Space Land, would have just been a generic sky world--basically Nutty Noon again. I don't exactly remember who I pictured as the boss of that world. I think it was either Dyna Blade or Landia. Anyway, the team has now made it back to Planet Popstar, which has been turned into a fiery hellscape, much like what happened to Peach's Castle in NSMBU. The first level would be a volcanic region where you fight Magman from Kirby 64... for some reason. (I wanted a fifth playable character in the form of the companion from Super Star, so I made Magman be their doppelganger, okay?) The second would be a forest-turned factory where you fight a mech piloted by Shadow Bandana Dee. The third would be the Halberd where you fight Dark Meta Knight, the fourth Castle Dedede where you fight Shadow Dedede, and finally, in the very last level, you would hop between Another Dimension and the skies above Dream Land on your way to bring Shadow Kirby down.

Sounds lame, right? I know. This theoretical mainline Wii U title obviously never came out, which honestly might be for the best. Besides, when I finally played Kirby's Epic Yarn for the first time, it hit me; my theorized Kirby's Return to Dream Land 2 was this very game all along! It has the same scenario, same structure, mostly same level themes... but it's also infinitely more charming, creative and fun than younger me could have ever dreamed of! Man, I REALLY wish I got to play this game while I was still a child. I should also probably stop daydreaming about games that don't and won't exist.

So anyway, where's that Kairi-focused Kingdom Hearts game with Nintendo characters and worlds at?

This is the long-lost evolution of Dream Land 3. Long levels, slow movement, very easy, low stakes, but extremely strong visual design, soundtrack, and overall charm. It's a game that lives and dies by its presentation, so if you aren't immediately hooked it's safe to say you wouldn't care for the rest.

The gameplay is pretty fun, though. It's more similar to classic Castlevania, it even has those grapple things you can swing on from IV and Bloodlines. I appreciate how simple to pick up and understand it is, which makes it a great fit for co-op. Similar to NSMB Wii, you can pick up and throw your friend around, but it's much more useful here because the other player acts as a projectile you can use to defeat enemies or as a platform to reach higher areas. The vehicle transformations work similarly to those in Yoshi's Island, but most of them don't really mesh well with the game outside of the shmup sections. It feels mostly like an excuse to shove in those Wii motion features.

It's the little details that make the game special. The distinct visual identity of each of the 43 stages, how most of them have a unique music track (done by the legendary Tomoya Tomita, along with some excellent arrangements from Ishikawa/Ando/Ikegami), how the collectibles are furniture and decorations for your apartment, how Kirby's friends will visit that apartment. There's never been a more fitting studio name than Good-Feel.