The more I think about Corn Kidz 64, the more I think I kinda hate it. Corn Kidz 64 annoys me more than any game I've played in recent memory, and I cannot tell if I dislike it from personal biases acting against it or if the game's just bad.

Let's get my compliments out of the way: I love the aesthetic of this game. It's super quirky and cartoonish in a good way, and the two goat kids have very cute and fun character designs. If I was an artist, I'd love doodling these two goobers. I like the OST too--reminds me a lot of Tonic Trouble which has an OST I think is good. I wouldn't go out of my way to hear it again, but it's nice.

The controls are...mixed. The control scheme doesn't feel very intuitive, but it can feel good to chain moves together. I think every part of this game's moveset is done much better in Pseudoregalia, but Corn Kidz 64 is serviceable. Specific moves feel weird and inconsistent, though. The headbutt (the move that the game is built upon) can be really finicky at times and outright unresponsive at others. Jumping out of it feels bad and like it's luck if I make the ledge grab or not. Similarly, the wall jump and wall climb moves also feel wildly inconsistent. I never feel like I am in control using these moves, and I can and will get bodied half the time I'm using the move. The reason I get bodied is because the worst mechanic in the game:

Fall damage. I would be hard pressed to say fall damage has ever been "good" in a 3D platformer, but I understand why it exists. The player gets penalized for a missed jump in two ways: The loss of progress and the loss of health. If you mess up enough times, your health goes away and you're back from square one. Nintendo 64 platformers tended to allow the player some kind of way to mitigate fall damage through skill-based means. For example, Super Mario 64 and Donkey Kong 64 allow the player to attack mid-air to slow their momentum which can prevent fall damage, and Banjo-Kazooie lets the player crouch off a ledge to negate fall damage entirely. These methods can be strict in timing, but they can only make you deal with one punishment (the loss of progress) rather than both punishments.
Corn Kidz 64 makes you deal with both punishments as harshly as possible. The loss of progress feels meaner than most N64-era platformers because the level design bluntly sucks. The control scheme favors horizontally minded courses and feels good in those, but most of the game is aggressively vertical. Climb up a tower, climb up a church, climb up a spire, climb climb climb climb CLIMB. Even the horizontal sections usually put you above some kind of pit. Either way, when you fall, you fall for a long time and have to climb up even longer to get back to where you were. Because of the problems of the controls (not even getting into how some obstacles you interact with the headbutt can screw with you on their own), you are going to fall a lot. Falling leads to loss in progress, but you are also going to take damage. You get put in a falling animation quicker than any game from the era Corn Kidz 64 is inspired by except maybe Bubsy 3D. You cannot do anything to slow your descent. You do not have any move aside from headbutt to fix your mistake which usually can't recover. You cannot do anything but watch as you fall and fall until you crash into the floor and see most of your health depleted. You go through the tedious process of recovering your health, you trudge through the backtracking to go back where you were because shortcuts are few and far between in this game, and you go back to the same jump you failed the first time and might fail again. It's not fun. Because Corn Kidz 64 has linear objectives, you can't even go and do something else if you think the current objective is too much like most collectathons. You're going to make all these stupid jumps in a row and you're going to LIKE it. Combined with the sheer lack of clarity on where objectives are and the complete absence of anything resembling level design pointing you in the right way or even a hint system, exploring felt like a complete and utter chore and the platforming I was "rewarded" with felt worse.

The writing sucks too. Some jokes hit and got a chuckle out of me, but most of it feels way too juvenile and honestly witless for its own good. "Ha ha isn't it funny how the townspeople are all stupid pushovers? Ha ha isn't it funny that the church is full of owls who keep saying nonsense and pooping? Ha ha isn't it funny how the main character walks in on a woman bathing in mud?" The writing hits the same vibe as a bad episode of Invader Zim: Dull, meaningless le quirky gross-out humor written either by people who don't know how people talk or jaded adults trying and failing to understand why something they found funny as a kid isn't funny to an older brain and emulating that brainlessly. I'd say the game could have been written by a child if the dialogue wasn't so chronically online and, for a lack of a better definition, "zoomers writing Conker." (I originally wrote millennials in my original review, realizing too late that Conker was probably written by millennials.) People my age can and have written funny games, but this is not one of them. Any person laughing at the game probably laughs at fart with reverb or reposted Tumblr screenshots with an iFunny watermark at the bottom. Even if a game has a simple or no plot, I still need to care if the game has dialogue of any kind. Mario, Banjo, and Donkey Kong all have charming characters and worlds that feel vivid and real even if they're a cartoon. Corn Kidz's world feels like a joke, and the joke isn't even funny. A few setpieces are neat like the weird house and the spider grave, but everything else is either empty or undermined by the game trying to be le quirky. I don't want to keep exploring because I want to; I keep exploring because I have to find where the next impossible-to-find trigger for progression is.

Also, why even bother with a health system and death system if dying doesn't matter? Just respawn the player at a checkpoint if they fall in an obstacle course section. This alone would solve a lot of problems with the game, but the janky controls and obnoxious writing would still stay around.

I could probably think of more critiques, but the more I think about this game, the more I start to genuinely get a headache. I don't see what other people see in this game. Why would I want to play this game when I could play better feeling games with better level design? I'd rather play the games this game is inspired from rather than the half-baked inspiration.

Really good for it's price, but sometimes too vague and difficult, you need to repeat long stretches of platforming over and over again which makes it too repetitive. Make main content a bit easier, save big challenges to side conetent and it will be fine.
Visually it's beautiful retro look with many options to make it fit your preferences. Music is good and with visual together they make really unique atmosphere.
I wish there was more levels with unique themes than 3 while one humongous one that takes 3/5 of your experience.
Still had a good time, hopefully next game will be more polished and complete.

I really wanted to like this game, I really did. The excitement I saw people have made me crave this as I love the era of platformers this game is trying to invoke. What I got is a game that I just ended up disliking the more and more I played. I will say the game does have two positives that I think are very strong.
The art direction is great and the music kicks ass. I still think this despite really being negative on the game elsewhere. The biggest annoyance in the game to me is the extreme lack of direction. I understand the game is not holding your hand but it expects you to go one path and instead of telling you to do that just shrugs and throws 5 different paths your way and has the correct one be a hidden 6th path. The gameplay also is not the funnest to me, the game seems to want you to do tight platforming but does not really provide the means to do said tight platforming. I don’t know I like platformers but this game got to the point where it was just making me mad with some of its expected platforming especially when combined with areas where it was unclear what I was even platforming too. Finally I get its going for an early 3D platformer feel but did it really need to have an awful camera as well? That thing just served to make the game even harder to navigate.
I think the game has a solid foundation and I think the devs can have a fun time, but this game just falls flat for me. It just ended up not fun to play and made me wish I was playing other platformers both old and new. I really hate to be this negative on the game since it was clearly made with heart but I just did not have a good time.

Yeah Idk what you guys saw in this that I couldn't, but I've played many 3D platformers in my time and none were as mixed as Corn Kidz 64, but i'm getting ahead of myself here. Let me explain my entire experience with this game.

To start off, that damn wall jump and wall climb can go fuck itself. That is the most unintuitive unresponsive inconsistent move this goat has. Every time you think you're against the wall, it looks like you weren't lol oh well fall back down 3 floors and try again. I've tried so many times to learn what I did wrong and every time its something different. The fall damage, why in the ever living christ did you think it was a good idea to give this type of precise platforming game fall damage. That's like giving the getting over it dude fall damage. it works with Mario and Banjo because those games don't require you to do pin point precision platforming. This is a different case, and I swear every time you fall in this game there is nothing more infuriating than just being teleported to your save and having to sit through that death animation and pointless game over screen over and over again. When death has no consequence in this game I wonder why there's even a game over screen to begin with. Just play the death animation and teleport me back to the start. It's that easy.

The platforming is difficult. I'm ok with challenging platforming, if your protagonist controls well and isn't fighting me half of the time. I think this game asks too much of the player that progression goes from 0 to 100 really fast. Combined with very poor level gimmicks like those stupid owls that you have to hit into place all the time because their dumbass can't stay in one position. It becomes frustrating so fast. The humor misses the mark a lot and while there maybe a good one or two jokes here it's not enough to make me care about what's happening on screen. I mainly stuck around for as long as I did for the platforming aspect. The platforming can be fun, when you're swinging together move after move seamlessly and you're in a platforming flow state I think that's where this game shines, but whenever I have fun i'm reminded of how annoying it is for the level design to send you back like 3 floors after falling. This game shines the most with its visuals and atmosphere, it has the perfect hazy N64 vibe and I enjoy it a lot. It's definitely one of the two reasons I kept playing at least. The music itself is also just ok, some are fine but there are tracks in here that I don't really find myself caring about all too much.

There's definitely a good foundation for a full game here but what i'm playing feels like a tech demo at most, for 7-8$ you get what you paid for but i've played cheaper games that are more fun than this. Check this one out at your own cost, I didn't like it, but I know a lot of people did.

Its clear there is a lot of passion but this doesn't feel fleshed out enough for me to finish it. Feels more like a tech demo.

Sure, its got a tightly knit control scheme but ultimately the level design isn't really there to complement it and the camera offered here needs improving.

That said, I would gladly consider purchasing the dev's next work if the kinks could be ironed out.

A pretty challenging 3D platformer but in a good way!

Controls take some getting used to but once you do it’s fun figuring out how to get to certain areas using your single wall jump and dash abilities.

I like how weird the dream world you explore is and the dislike for a few chuckles out of me at times!

A little on the short side but I hope that just means we get a bigger sequel down the road cause I’d for sure play it.

Great, fun little game with probably some of the most fun movement in any 3D game.

Banger soundtrack that transitions depending on where you are in the level.
Fitting style and atmosphere.
Neat callbacks to N64 era games, while also doing its own thing.

After getting to the second level, I had multiple "WHERE DO I GO WHAT DO I DO" moments. Similar effect to a point-and-click adventure where I have to search everywhere to find the one thing I need and then immediately need to figure out what to do with it; always slightly lost.

Finally got used to the movement and jumping right about at the end of the game, so that was a shame.

Other then that, I did enjoy this game.

Absolutely sublime 3D platformer that surpasses many of its own inspirations while adding so many interesting and fun mechanics to the genre. I adore this game's sense of humor, all of the silly characters and I definitely was not expecting suchhhh a great soundtrack! The art style is obviously a draw for many and it really doesn't disappoint in my opinion, the environments and overall vibe is unmistakably its own while still paying homage to the N64 games I love to look at. All around I was just consistently blown away by the intricacy of its platforming, the consistently engaging ideas it introduces throughout, and the insane attention to detail in its presentation. Without a doubt a must play for anyone who has even a passing interest in 3D platformers.

I wanted to like this one more than I did, but it was still a good enough time. Well, until it stopped being fun near the end. But hey, I enjoyed most of it!

GOOD:

-The world and characters. Really like the style of this game, a lot of fun personality. Especially like the two main character designs. Oh, and the Garbage Grump.

-The music is pretty good! I dunno if I’m gonna be remembering them much now that I’m done, but I was enjoying them while I was playing.

-Well thought out platforming challenges. Whether or not you LIKE them is a different story, but a lot of thought was put into designing them. Definitely a game for fans of hardcore platforming challenges.

STUFF I DIDNT LIKE TOO MUCH:

-Conveyance. Maybe it’s just me, but I felt like I was lost in this game more than once.

-The camera. Boy do I hate this camera. If I’m trying to look around, find where to go, or even do some of the demanding platforming this game asks of you, I don’t want my camera snapping back where it was. Got extremely annoying by the end.

-Some of the later platforming challenges are just not fun. At all. I feel like the later parts of the game knocked this game down a whole star for me.

-The length. So, this is a short game, instead of having multiple worlds, it’s really just a handful. I’m fine with that idea, but you spend the majority of the game in just one of these worlds. A lot. Like, a LONG time. I was sick of this world by the end. I was getting pretty bored with it. On the other hand, I feel like if this game were longer, the problems I have with it would be WAY more annoying. So I dunno, I feel like they don’t really use their time very well. Again, maybe it’s just me.

So yeah. I dunno! I wish I could’ve enjoyed it more, but still a good time.

This game does a great job replicating that old 3D-platformer difficulty, and it ramps up even more by the last stretch. The game is supposed to be 2 hours long (It took me 4 days to beat). Don't expect too much from the story, but you're free to dig around the map for lore.

If you're itching for some challenge- this is it. If you still find it too easy try the mirror dimensions hidden around the map (sick freak) I still recommend it for the experience alone. Its fun and not too hard, and you get to play as a goat too!