There are almost 600 reviews already but not one sonnet. So here goes:

A brutal axe slashes right at my face.
I knife parry while dynamite explodes
then whirl around and empty clips with grace;
blasting at filthy parasites exposed.

Heart attacks wait around every corner;
each encounter abounds with gripped tension.
Static no more - frenetic, sans torpor,
yet more options to fight apprehension.

This time I have a friend, not a burden;
a teammate that I miss when she is gone.
Each NPC became their own person,
fleshed out, built up, and much improved upon.

Despite a taste for slower paced RE,
this remake scores a big BINGO from me.

there's so so so much to adore about this game and i absolutely want to give it a 10 but there are a few things holding it back for me so im gonna talk about those first.

for some reason a lot of (very stupid) people think that ashley is like really difficult to work with in the original game?? she is exceedingly simple and adds a lot of fun challenge to the experience. and while i think ashley in the remake is an infinitely better and more lovable character than she is in the original, sadly the new commands are a huge step down. instead of "stay put", "hide" and "follow" being your 3 main commands, now you get "stick close", "follow at a distance" and very very rarely will you get to have her hide.

this change now puts ashley in danger at all times and while it is much easier to get her out of said danger, most of that danger could be avoided completely had they just given me the option to have her stay put for a few minutes. on top of the anxiety her staying close can fill you with given she's so much more likable now, she also winds up getting in the way of all the fantastic new side quests pretty frequently.

another issue the game has is difficulty. this may be a "noahs bad at games" kinda thing but when you boot up the game, you are presented with 3 difficulties. the third being hardcore. hardcore is explicitly stated as "recommended for players familiar with resident evil 4 (2005)", and while at the start this is true, the game becomes brutally difficult and punishing later on to the point of feeling frankly unfair. perhaps the text meant for player's familiar with PROFESSIONAL DIFFICULTY in the original RE4, but i wanted an authentic RE4 experience and the game lied to me and i got my ass smacked by sloppy little critters for 20 hours.

the final complaint i had was that my internet is not very good so my ps4 pretty regularly drops wifi for a few seconds, this became an issue because for some fucking reason every time you drop wifi in a single player campaign experience the game PAUSES and tells you it happened. again i am playing a single player campaign experience so why the FUCK do i need to know that?!?!?!

aside from that, the game is great!! doesnt necessarily replace the original as an experience and i cant quite say which version i prefer yet, but similarly to RE1 remake, this is pretty much the gold standard for remakes. very little is cut out and what is cut out was either not noteworthy in the original or repurposed and changed to work better with the modern RE gameplay formula.

characters are all great, music is the best its ever been, the game looks and runs perfect on my ps4, the gameplay is a fantastic compromise between RE2 remake, RE8 and shockingly enough DMC???? lots of character action esque things going on here.

the bosses are all pretty great except salazar, salazar is a bitch and a wiener and i hate him. ashley and leon are so fucking adorable together and ashley is like top 10 RE characters for me now. and the actors all do a pretty fantastic job. if i had to pick a weak link, the guy who plays mike is the WORST, but otherwise everyone does a solid job. ada's new actress can sound a lil shaky here and there but she's doing a good job.

all the monsters are fucking horrifying, the gore is fucking disgusting, the guns all feel great to use (except the crossbow), knife combat is so unbelievably fun that krauser 1 and 2 are my new favorite RE bosses ever, the shooting gallery is a hoot and a half. its all just real great.

i think what i appreciate the most is that they really change the story to work better with the darker tone its going for, but it still has plenty of absolutely silly, campy and corny moments and lines plucked straight from the original.

yeah its great! Idk! video game good make me smile! 9.5/10 until i replay on standard difficulty i guess???

First off before I start I gotta say this game has the best graphics ever. Like to this day. It came out in like 2015 and I played the game on low graphics and it's still the most graphically impressive game ever. Not even just the textures or how the rain perfectly shines on batman's cape or all that stuff but the batmobile can crush things as it goes through and the destructibility is nothing short of awesomesauce. it's insane. OK, now we can get on with the review.

Combat is the best it's ever been. It feels amazing to play, and it better be since they've had like 10 years to refine the formula.
Stealth is also great because of how the AI works and how many awesome gadgets you're given. And because the AI learns the way you play, especially against a certain enemy type you have to shake up your strategies but it still feels fair and you're able to do it in any way you like. It's pretty sandboxy and the artform that I find I can most easily express myself in is batman predator rooms.

But man the batmobile is the weakest part of the game. It's not that it's bad, it's one of the most fun vehicles ever, and the insane destruction is very well done. It's also really fun to race with in the optional mode in the menu, and the skins for it are awesome. Do you know my problem with it? the tank mode is used way too much. And don't get me started on the tank stealth parts. Yeah, you heard me. Tank. Stealth. Parts. Parts plural with an S. You - WHILE DRIVING THE TANK... sneak up behind other tanks. And then you charge up your special tank stealth attack and you shoot. I remember being confused with assassin's creed 4 boat stealth but this is a literal tank. If you asked 7 billion people what the least discrete vehicle is, 6 billion of them would say tank, 500 million of them would say a giant bat-themed tank, and the other 500 million were the developers of this game who all said unicycle.

the story is alright, you can tell Dini's not here and some of the characters feel oddly written. Lots of odd choices and weird things that occur in the story. As well as the story having no real climax. It kinda fizzles out after a cutscene. There are no real boss fights either. There are like 2 in the main story. The side missions were mostly good, except one that feels like they rushed super hard to get this character in the game. Totally wasted, could've been a whole thing instead of that mine disarming one (that 1 sucked).

The game's still great, the puzzles are fun, combat and stealth are the best they've ever been, the graphics are very good, driving and gliding and grappling around Gotham feels natural, all the other playable characters are cool, the sidequests are mostly awesome, but it falls short of city and asylum for me due to the lower quality in story and writing, lack of cool boss fights, overuse of tank battles, and anticlimactic ending,. Thanks for reading. I'll do the expansions now and spend the rest of my life doing the batman 89 races. CYA!

I love this game!!

A Lot of people say "oh the Batmobile takes up 60% of the game" First off I still find the Batmobile fun to use and second that is simply not true. The Boy Aqua (I would check his video out) said he recorded his whole 100% playthrough of this game only using it when necessary and it only took up 19% of the game.

Even then, the stealth and the combat are practically flawless, and I still thought it was a damn good story

The meme, “Be the Batman,” wouldn’t be nearly as big as it was if there wasn’t a nugget of truth. For now, this is the ultimate Batman sim- of course that means experiencing all the power fantasy of being the pinnacle of capable superheroes, as well as experiencing their failures and struggles, and feeling what those failures would mean in the heightened world and stakes of Gotham City. There are choices that hold this game back in terms of gameplay or narrative if you were to look at those aspects individually, but ultimately this is a story that can only be told through the video game medium. First rating on this website so I can stick my opinion flag to the ground and proudly claim this is still up there as one of my favorite video games, even 8 years after the fact.

Like two months ago, I started up a new file and made a pretty reasonable claim; If I finish this, I get to buy the new one.

Since 2018 I've put like 70 hours into this game, but whenever I don't play for a while, there's just no coming back to it. This is common on other games as well; I've dropped Chrono Trigger like 5 times near the end, never even beat FFIV despite being 10 minutes away from the final boss. The difference is I could look at a walkthrough in those games and possibly catch back up. In BOTW, no such thing. If I don't play for more than 2 days or so, places I've been, upgrades I've collected, annoying ass shrines I've completed are totally wiped away from my memory. As such, even the file I started right around the time I got my Switch where iirc I was missing like 1 Divine Beast was deleted because.. fuck, I don't remember shit. Also,there's an harder mode with a few exclusive things and I totally won't get frustated fighting the weakest of mobs.

Tears of the Kingdom is out today. Did I beat Breath of the Wild? Nope. Got like 4 hours in with my girlfriend watching me play. We caught a horse and were going back to the stable to register it, but a bunch of asshole lizards attacked us and the horse ran away. After that she said "hey can I put on a show or something" to which I agreed and haven't played since.

As I sit on the cusp of buying Tears of the Kingdom anyway from sheer FOMO, I wonder; is Breath of the Wild going to be obsolute now? Will I come back to this one eventually? Can I actually beat the new one or am I just gonna get stunlocked by what seems to be an even larger scale game? Where's that fucking horse? I just don't know.

”Whether skyward bound, adrift in time, or steeped in the glowing embers of twilight, the sacred blade is forever bound to the soul of the Hero.”

Before I get my slimy claws on Tears of the Kingdom, I wanted to discuss my favorite game of all time: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

This game is something truly special. It’s so open, so free. There’s so much to do, so much to collect, so many sights to explore. The environment is gorgeous, the art direction is my favorite in the franchise, and there’s a sense of adventure that trumps not only every other entry in the series, but any other video game I’ve ever played.

A lot of people criticize the story, and… yeah, the cutscenes can be kinda cringe and the story is minimalistic. However, the cutscenes are just a drop in the bucket, as the game’s story is mostly told through its environment. We see the devastated ruins of towns that were invaded during the Calamity. We see a massive, crumbling fortress where every single person within was slaughtered by the Guardians. We see malice corrupting the environment, monsters attacking travelers, and the silhouette of Ganon himself, swirling around Hyrule Castle, waiting for Zelda’s power to weaken, and preparing to face his nemesis once again.

On the flipside, when you reach the outer settlements like Hateno or Lurelin, you find that life has gone on. Sure, Hyrule hasn’t exactly progressed much (the apocalypse will do that to you), but they’ve managed to rebuild a bit. They play games, cook, and work within their communities. Even with Calamity Ganon towering in the distance, the Hylians and Sheikah continue to live on. As per usual, Hyrule runs on the hope of its people, with Link only being a small representative of that hope.

The most poignant example of environmental storyline comes from Fort Hateno. According to legend, the remains of Hyrule’s military and the Hateno townspeople rallied at the fort to keep the Guardians from breaching Hateno Village and massacring the people. For hours, the soldiers managed to hold back the Guardians as they attempted to climb the wall and murder the citizens. Many died in the battle, with Link himself mortally wounded, and yet they managed to keep the town safe until Zelda unleashed her powers and ended the conflict. Why did they choose to protect this random village in the middle of nowhere? Because there were people living there, and as long as they had hope to save those people, the soldiers were gonna do their damnedest to keep Ganon’s army out.

That’s the true beauty of Breath of the Wild’s melancholic story, and I daresay it’s a strong one. It’s no Majora’s Mask or Twilight Princess, but it manages to hold its own once you peel back the layers.

Speaking of those games, what about the characters? Well, BotW has a pretty solid set.

Link is mostly stoic, but he has some pretty goofy reactions to things, snarky dialogue options, and even a bit of backstory from Zelda’s diary that explains why he’s so… off. It ain’t much, but it’s Link; he’s the good guy who helps people, same as always, just with a bit of emotional baggage.

Zelda is actually great, showing the negative effects that King Rhoam’s parenting have on her, as well as how her failure to awaken her powers has made her deeply insecure. Her depression is worsened by constantly being around Link, who is— well— he’s Link, he’s good at everything and he’s following his destiny without much issue. This causes her to lash out at him, which some fans claim makes her “whiny” and “annoying”. My response? She’s a teenager trying to stop the apocalypse. She’s stressed, her father’s kind of a dick, and she becomes nicer to Link as the memories progress and she realizes that her behavior may be affecting him when he hasn’t even done anything to her. It’s called character development, guys.

Their dynamic reaches its apex when the Calamity hits. For the first time in his life, Link utterly fails; he’s assailed by Guardians, horribly injured, and drops to the ground, dying. In that moment, Zelda’s power awakens and she manages to hit a proverbial pause button the Calamity, saving Link’s life in the process. When Link fails and is in dire need of help, Zelda finally unlocks her true potential, proving that she’s not such a failure after all, and that even badasses like Link aren’t perfect.

King Rhoam is interesting. In life, he was downright emotionally abusive towards Zelda, reminding her of her failures and pressuring her to give up on her passions and hyperfixate on stopping Ganon. However, if you read his not-so-easy-to-find diary, you begin to understand that his treatment of her isn’t out of malice; he’s genuinely desperate to stop Ganon and keep Hyrule safe, and he deeply hates the way he treats Zelda and vows to change his ways once Ganon is stopped. Tragically, he dies in battle, and his ghost continues to haunt the kingdom as he waits for Link to reawaken and help him atone for his treatment of Zelda and failure to save the kingdom.

The Champions? Yeah, they all fucking fail and die trying to stop the Blight Ganons. It’s tragic, but none are more tragic than Mipha, the sweet Zora Princess wh—

Just kidding. It’s actually Revali.

Revali is an interesting character because, despite his constant bragging and arrogant attitude, he secretly hates himself and views anything he does as a failure. Revali seems to believe that because Link is the Chosen Hero, he himself is worthless in comparison, sparking a jealous rivalry with Link. Or so he thinks. In reality, Link doesn’t really care or even seem to notice Revali’s obvious resentment; he just stares blankly and doesn’t respond whenever Revali tries to bully him. This pisses Revali off even more. How dare this “Hero” not regard me as an equal? He must think I’m some kind of pathetic loser! Well I’m not! My wings are bigger than yours!!!

Anyways, unlike Zelda, Revali never totally lets go of his resentment towards Link, but death seems to mellow him out a bit and help him realize that the future of Hyrule is more important than his own perceived failures. Thus, he grants Link his own, special power for the sake of the greater good, and wishes him luck… in the rudest way possible, of course.

Finally, we have the Big Bad himself, Calamity Ganon. Calamity Ganon isn’t just evil incarnate, or malice incarnate, or Denise’s curse incarnate; he’s failure incarnate. Ganon has failed over and over, again and again, for millennia. He’s so obsessed with his failure that he’s let his hatred of Zelda, Hyrule, and especially Link utterly consume him, reducing him to… this. Long gone is the charismatic mastermind that once overthrew Hyrule and the Twilight Realm, conquered the Great Sea, and seized the Triforce of Power. Now, we just have this gross, destructive mass of pure hatred and failure, who isn’t nearly as competent as the human Ganondorf was. Unlike the aforementioned heroes, Ganon simply won’t stop obsessing over his failures and his grudge against Link and the Hylians, and now there’s little of his true self left.

Enough about characters and story. The gameplay is great. The combat system is dynamic and extremely fun (the weapon breakage may be annoying at first, but it adds lots of depth and strategy), the music is as quiet as it is gorgeous, I’ve already praised the overworld, and the dungeons… hmmm… uhhh…

The Shrines are hit-and-miss, and the Divine Beasts don’t reach their full potential. While this (understandably) annoys many fans, I’m fine with it. They’re definitely not as good as the rigidly-structured dungeons of Zelda past, but I think their freeform nature, accessibility, and the quests involved to unlock some of them all contribute to— and strengthen— this game’s open-ended structure. They may not be complete bangers (except the Final Trial from the DLC; it’s amazing and it should’ve been in the base game), but they work for the game, and they’re fun.

Hyrule Castle, however, is a masterpiece. It’s a proper dungeon with loads of secrets to discover, puzzles to solve, enemies to defeat, bosses to fight, and even a dungeon item (kinda)— the Hylian Shield! That’s awesome! On top of that, it’s mostly optional, further contributing to the open gameplay. You completely skip it by swimming up waterfalls and charging straight into Ganon’s sanctum, or you can take your time exploring the castle, looking for bits of lore and maybe even a secret shrine.

On top of all that, this game is just pure Zelda. There’s so much adventure to be had. It’s so beautiful and loving towards nature. It provides a poignant story. The visuals are gorgeous for a Switch game. There are a plethora of references to past games, with Ocarina of Time and Skyward Sword receiving constant callbacks in both subtle and obvious ways (I could swear that Faron Woods still looks exactly the same as it did in the latter game). It feels like a true culmination of decades of experimentation, of all of Link’s past adventures. When I first played Breath of the Wild, I thought, “This is what Ocarina of Time wanted to be, but couldn’t because of the limitations of its era.” I still think that’s true.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is utterly fantastic, and here’s hoping that Tears of the Kingdom is even better.

God what a borderline perfect game. All the elements are in place for this to be THE game I'd recommend to everyone. Platforming and traversal are addicting, The Prince controls smooth as butter, camera is really cooperative, the time mechanics prevent frustration. Like they nailed everything on that end. I can see why this game became a parkour template for games in general, the amount of interesting locales and setpieces keep the act of holding the right trigger fun throughout.

Ooh and the dialogue? Wonderful. I love the characterization of The Prince and Farah, hearing how Farah slowly starts to get through The Prince's insecurities and find the thoughtful person he can be. I love the interactions between them!! it's so fucking good!!

But some rogue audio engineer delivered perhaps the worst audio mixing in the history of games. I played this on PC, PS3, Gamecube, and Xbox just to make sure I wasn't losing my mind, but I could not find a single version of this game where the audio wasn't mixed like total shit. The Prince and Farah's voices are deathly quiet, sword clanking is blowing your speaker out, the reverb is insanely high, and the dumbass Australian guard has the loudest voice in history, if an atomic bomb was going off outside your window during that puzzle you would not hear a thing.

For a game to have such amazing dialogue but drown it out under so much noise is one of the nastiest tricks the devil ever pulled. But the combat is the kiss of death on this game ever getting anything higher than a 3 1/2.

Combat is actually really functional for one-on-one duels, like, oh let's say for example, Prince of Persia 89. That's why, naturally, you fight hordes of enemies who swarm you in a way that doesn't work at all with the combat system. For how many options you get (block, parry, rolls, backflips, downstrikes, spins, wall-launches) you are only ever going to use the wall-launches or jumping off of enemies heads into downstrikes, because anything else is just not viable.

Enemies teleport to swarm you and the Prince lacks meaningful crowd control, so you jump off of someone's head, down a downstrike, suck them up into the dagger, and do this approximately 300 more times before a combat encounter is done. At least until a new enemy type is introduced who invalidates that strategy and requires wall-launching instead. Either way combat that starts off as novel and interesting becomes genuinely taxing and exhausting due to the brutal amount of it you are going to have to do.

Why would such a well-designed game have this? My guess is Ubisoft has a shittiness quota that has to be met. A game requires a specific amount of crap before Ubisoft will put their seal of approval on it. Rayman 2 accidentally shipped with only good bits and it was a huge embarrassment to the company.

Real answer though, probably worries about length. It's such needless padding and the game would be shorter without it, and I know back in 2003 reviewers were pedantic and annoying about how a 60 hour game would be considered too short, but I love how brisk Sands of Time is! It's a complete story with character arcs, it comes up with fun scenarios and leads to a thrilling climax. It's a swashbuckling adventure and is confident enough to not overstay its welcome, so fighting 20 of the same dickheads for hours is not worth the time and effort implementing it.

I can't overstate though, I do genuinely love this game. I would be losing my mind during one of the truly insipid combat encounters, thinking about just turning the game off and watching a playthrough online, but then it'd be done, and I'd get to hear Farah and The Prince chat, I'd get to do wall-running, jumping, climbing, and god it'd be like heaven. The good is so good in this game. It might not be enough to out-weight the phenomenally bad but that's what makes it such a compelling piece of art.