33 Reviews liked by DanTrashPerson


Short little slide into cyberpunk that focuses more on the meat grinder aspect of the genre than the digital humanism, it says we are human but to the system we are numbers. Despite this the soundtrack and atmosphere does allow a little bit of hope as a people to slip through that calms the soul a little.

Not the most polished thing but a really fun time and has enough going on and changing up that it doesn't outstay its welcome. Very much enjoyed that slope full into horror at the last hour mark that it had been vigorously circling the entire time.

How many trans women changed their name to Heather because of this game?

P.S this is better than 2.

This review contains spoilers

the main character gets told that she's pregnant with God and immediately gives herself an abortion, and if you don't think that's the tightest shit then get out of my face

"harry mason introduced the everyman to survival horror" "as an ordinary man harry mason can't take many hits and struggles with firearms" my man is standing here nailing headshots with hunting rifles like it's nothing. he's getting pounced on by flesh gorillas, mauled, and then crawling out like he just took a scratch. he's surviving electrocution and then nailing noscopes like it's easy. and there's no question he's been doing his cardio as well, sprinting across an entire town while barely breaking a sweat. barely loses his composure until a lady literally turns into a blood demon in front of him. even then he takes a second to sit with it and then starts running around literal bizarro world again as if nothing happened. what does chris redfield have that harry doesn't?

when I played silent hill 2 I managed to self-impose the dread and anxiety required to fully immerse myself in the dilapidated corridors and alleys of the titular town. not so much this time. my friends/roommates were really into watching this one so I rarely played this one alone in the dark like I did its sequel, and I played the game accordingly. lots of riffing and plenty of laughs at the stilted dialogue, creepy setpieces, and oddball puzzles. when I got to the lighthouse I was really having to strain my tank controls prowess to run up the spiral staircase, and as a bit I made a couple other people try it to prove I wasn't crazy; I'll always remember that shit.

but I can't deny that when I played this alone for a bit in the otherworld version of the school, even as I worried that I couldn't remember how to envelope myself in that fear, I could feel those telltale signs occurring. the tightening of the chest, and that prickle in the throat letting me know that the imagery of strung-up bodies and rusty grating were starting to make me anxious. even with few prior antecedents that managed to capture this disgust and visceral psychological torment within the digital world they managed to perfectly envision it on such limited hardware. scenes like the rows of windmills placed in the middle of nowhere after the caterpillar fight or something as simple as covered corpses on beds in the hospital convey sickness and decay without hesitation. the lighting as well, from the muggy daytime streets to the narrow beam of the flashlight control the player's gaze so perfectly, unsettling them as they dare to peek into a corner or open yet another door.

what perhaps surprised me the most was the game's structure. from back to front the game isn't particularly long, and unlike its sequel the actual dungeon sections are much less heavily emphasized. these locations in silent hill 2 contain heavy story significance and a much stronger sense of relevance to james' history and mental state in comparison to the school and the hospital, which serve more functional purposes to harry than thematic ones. the rooms as well feel much more cookie-cutter by comparison, with fewer key areas of interest and more vessels to contain keys of various shapes. where this game succeeds in disorienting the player most is in the ever-shifting locality of the places you visit. building floors that disappear, bathrooms that exit on different floors than you entered on, and entire city streets melting away before your very eyes; all of this culminates in the nowhere, where previous areas are stitched together into a dizzying maze detached from any semblance of reality.

silent hill also has significantly better puzzle design than its follow-up thanks to the lack of any sort of item combination feature. keys are keys, no need to weld multiple random items together to get to the next area. instead the progression feels much more directly drawn from resident evil, with a mixture of fun little brainteasers and lock-and-key matching. surprisingly these appear very little in the second half of the game, assuming that you totally skip the kaufmann side quest as I did (thought I looked around a good deal and yet totally missed the bar, and as soon as you walk down the street on the boardwalk you're completely locked out of this whole section unfortunately). past the hospital there's quite a while of just running past hordes of enemies completely incapable of keeping up with you: in the town center, the sewers, the dock on the way to the lighthouse, and then the sewers again. not really an issue considering you still get to take in the sights regardless, but I would've preferred a little more "dungeon-crawling" so to speak.

when I first tried this game years ago the clunky combat and controls threw me off, and if you feel like you're in this boat take some time to get used to it and explore. items are ridiculously common and taking damage usually yields little risk provided you keep tabs on your health. although I didn't use the strafe at all and barely touched the backjump, overall these are some super tight controls. would not blame anyone for trying the second game first and then coming back to this one like I did.

This review contains spoilers

hmmmmmmmmm. no more heroes 3 is a good enough game that i found to be pretty dissapointing in several areas that ended up making the overall product feel a little less than. namely the story and the way they handled the levels.

but okay, let's not try to start off being a negative nancy too hard because there's stuff I liked a bunch in this game! for a start, the combat feels great! the removal of the stance system kinda bummed me a bit at first but after playing around with the new death glove abilities and some additional refinements they made to the overall combat i'm pretty happy with it! i never hated the combat in the old games but it's appreciable to have the katana killing in 3 just feel a lot faster and cooler. travis' animations and swings feel satisfying, the new glove abilities are fun and the change to the dark step mechanic gives it a bit more risk/reward. oh and the focus on keeping them at 60FPS is incredibly welcomed.

also MAN, that "KILL!" screen with the blood splatter in the background and the guiter soloing in the background rules. fuck ye

i also liked the boss fights in this! which like ye, shocker, no more heroes has good boss fights but they managed to keep a good amount of variety, gimmicks and surprise "no, I'M the real boss!" encounters in to keep me excited for each ranked rumble. there's probably at least two bosses from this game that i would take into my imaginary, non-published "Lewis' Favourite All Time NMH Boss Fights" canon. very happy me and suda were in the same "hey, that boss design looks boring can you kill them off and replace them with someone else" hivemind.

speaking of designs, the last thing i really wanted to praise was just the art and look of this game. i really liked the different clashing presentation styles of this game from old Mac PC looking menus, to PS4 livestream windows, to cutscenes like the intro to Velvet Chair Girl's fight and having your screen pop up with a strong arm of A buttons and every literal way to say Accept on the planet Earth. it was good. colourful, pop and obnoxious!

so whilst i feel like grasshopper got the combat, bosses and looks right they unfortunately dropped ball in some other areas for me. mainly the story, which ended up being my biggest sticking point after finishing the game. i don't know if this is just my fault for expecting too much from a modern day no more heroes game but the game doesn't really have anything surprising to it or anything to really say. like i mean, yes there are weird things happening around the edges of the main plot and fakeouts on boss fights etc. but when it comes to the actual story and where it goes it's kinda...it kinda just plays out how you expect. alien invasion happens, travis must kill top ten ranking dudes, he does, you get your big final boss fight with who you think plus additonal palpatine's behind it all and...yeah! Which I guess isn't nessisarily bad but the introduction of people like midori midorikara, kamui giving his big kill the past, kill the life speech, henry cooldown having a personality change and being a part of a secret organisation (and also sylvia??), the constant boss fakeouts i mentioned, even the fact that Travis Strikes Again even managed to say something or go somewhere more than it's initial premise with the deathballs granting you a wish thing just made me feel a bit meh on where the game went in the end. kinda came away without really feeling much about what happened or what it said. i guess at the end of the day i didn't really care that much about Damon and FU so having the game sideline everything to focus on them in the end was a bit of a bummer.

also i feel like the cast of this game is pretty underused. like, the no more heores series has such a strong line-up of characters and designs and a lot of old favourites and new hotness appear in it! bad girl is back! shinobu is back! dr. juvenile is here! midori midorikara appears from another universe and kamui is also her bf and has some fuckin kurumizawa shit going on in those hands! like it's a stacked cast but in the end none of them really end up doing anything or impacting the story until right at the end. shinobu gets her arms ripped off immediatly, bad girl gets Depression, dr juvenile just...wasn't asked to do stuff i guess and kamui just chills with bishop and travis for one scene and that's about it. even sylvia feels pretty underused in this game. do you see what i mean about stuff not really happening and characters not really mattering? it just seems like a bit of a waste, which is sad.

also yeah, the way they handled levels in this game is bad because they removed them completely and instead replaced them with arena fights where you get teleported around and they have no real style or location and because of that they feel way less unique and more like an extention of the overworld in a bad way and BOY let me tell you about the overworld it su-okay wait i just noticed the length of this review nevermind.

in the end, i enjoyed my time with no more heroes 3 and it definitely holds some value in the overall series. it just didn't leave me with much in the end. who knows, this might be one of those things where in a couple of years i'll look back on it and wonder why i was high strung on certain things and why i didn't enjoy it for what it was. but for now, alas.

actually one more thing henry cooldown is so fucking cool in this game i love him

This is the Conker's Bad Fur Day of action games
I will not elaborate any further

Actual thoughts:
"No More Heroes III is a game that's going to have to do more now than just be a celebration of Travis being back for real after this one."
-TheGamingBritShow, The Meaning of Travis Strikes Again | Suda 51, Legendary Again

No More Heroes III, to me, fails at creating nuance at any point in its far too long runtime. It represents the worst traits of all of the post-NMH1 Grasshopper Manufacture games where Suda 51 was only tangentially involved in, made worse by being a game Suda actually directed. I have no personal attachment to the Kill the Past anthology since I never played them outside of the No More Heroes series, but considering that 3 follows up Travis Strikes Again, a game with a lot to say in a mostly somber tone, it fails to build on anything from these games in a meaningful way. At no point did I feel this game's existence was justified, a complete lack of nuance from a director who gave his games that in spades. I genuinely cannot tell you what the main theme of this game is, since it's just shallow commentary after shallow commentary. I really tried to find even the tiniest thing to latch onto in terms of themes, but what I found was, at best, surface-level, and at worst, works against any theoretical themes I tried to make up. At the beginning of the game, Travis goes on about being a hero who just happens to be a passing assassin. In No More Heroes, it's made explicitly clear that Travis is an irredeemable bastard of a man acting for his own interests of bloodlust and regular lust. How he gets to this point in NHM3 feels more out of circumstance rather than a genuine want to improve himself and become the hero he wanted to be in the second game. Travis Strikes Again made him realize that this current path he's on isn't worth it for most of its runtime, but by the end, there's an air of acceptance of his bloodlust and the fact that he's a bastard. No More Heroes III walks back on a lot of what NMH1 and TSA sets up, and instead of building on their themes and Travis's character, it focuses on one-off moments that never add up to anything and a VERY weird-guy view on sexuality in Kimmy Love. I fail to see anything deeper in what this game is trying to do. It feels like there's concepts of themes that the game fails to build on in any meaningful way. Is it about Travis and his idea of what a hero is? Is is about media and how it affects us? Is it about the sterilization of video games as a whole? Man, I don't fucking know. Even No More Heroes 2 was more clear cut in its themes. It a confused mess of ideas that never coalesce at any point. This also extends to the gameplay. In NMH1, all of the gameplay stuff in that game is to show that Travis is just some other guy trying to get by on menial work, showing a more mundane side of Travis. TSA is a top-down hack n slash meant to emulate the style of video games of old, building on Travis's character and the themes of the game through the gameplay. What is NMH3 trying to say through its gameplay? I tried to look at its combat system and minigames from every angle and came out with nothing. Even compared to specific action games that released a couple years ago, it fails to even come close, mechanically or thematically. I play games like Kingdom Hearts III or Devil May Cry 5, and I can tell both games use their mechanics to build on the themes of legacy and the importance of carving your own path. There's more to their gameplay than that, but I'm saving that stuff for the KH3 video, but back on topic, NMH3 does not use its gameplay to push any themes or pose any interesting questions. If I told you about any of its themes, I'd feel like I'd be lying to you, and I should not feel that way for a game of this nature. It also has the most baffling finale of any game I have ever played, a perfect representation of a game with a massive identity crisis, with a Smash Bros clone that comes out of nowhere and offers nothing of nuance.

Maybe it's my fault for wanting something deeper than what we got, but when you follow up something as thematically dense as TSA, I can't help but feel disappointed. It lags behind action games like the aforementioned KH3 and DMC5, games that are dense both mechanically and thematically, and instead of pushing the series forward with its head held high like they did, it feels like the product of a bygone era, a facsimile of its series.

Oh yeah, and Orca Force/ Dead Orca Force blows, I'm sorry bro.

This review contains spoilers

I don't really know where to begin. It's hard to think of a bigger letdown for me in recent memory. Almost every aspect of this game feels underbaked, undeveloped, and unfinished. None of it congeals together. It's a trainwreck of the likes I haven't seen since - well, since the kind of games Grasshopper Manufacture were making in the early 2010s. The more things change.

So, let's tackle these in order.

RANK #10: DIABOLICAL PITCH

The combat's fine. It's alright. I know there are people who super dig it. It's probably the most fun combat that's ever been in a NMH game, but I find that it pales in comparison to a lot of the fantastic action games on the market today. Even compared to indie efforts like Assault Spy, Travis' limited moveset sticks out like a sore thumb, and means that despite there being some genuinely creative and cool enemy designs in the bunch, I still found myself tackling encounters almost the exact same way every single time.

RANK 9: DESPERATE STRUGGLE

Now, I said most fun combat in a NMH game. I didn't say best. Because for me, NMH1 still has that crown. Yes, it's grindy and repetitive. Yes, it feels like a chore. But in a game about stripping away the romanticisation of the life of a video game hero and revealing it to be labour-intensive contract work performed by someone's who's adolescent fantasies are exploited for profit, that works. It enhances the experience tremendously. What does the combat here do? What does it say? Nothing, really. It's just quite fun. But why should I turn this game on just for quite fun combat when I have DMC5 also on my shelf, a game who's combat I enjoy much more? The combat fails to be interesting or thematically resonant, and fails to compete as a surface-level thrillride. Just like the rest of the game!

RANK 8: HEROES' PARADISE

This affliction of total purposeless afflicts the open world as well. No More Heroes 1 caught a lot of flack for its buggy and barren open world, and while I won't defend the performance issues, I will defend its inclusion. In a game about labour and work, the commute is an important part of contextualising that. What does the open world of No More Heroes III serve? What point does it make? What does it say? Nothing really. There are suggestions, things you could read into what they might have said if the game was interested in actually exploring its world, but that's all it is, a veneer of purpose papered over an empty world that exists only because fans wanted it to exist.

RANK 7: SERIOUS MOONLIGHT

Every element of this game has the same feel: shallow, insubstantial, underused, underdeveloped. You can feel the shadow of "this was developed during COVID" looming over the entire world of this game, but even setting that aside, no idea, motif, or theme this game haphazardly throws out has any nuance whatsoever. GHM have finally made a game that truly feels true to the ancient criticism of them: they have made a game that genuinely feels like they threw a million things at a wall and none of them stick. Superheroes? Streaming? Retro gaming? Call of Duty? Fortnite? Mad Max? Rocky? All of it is thrown out there, and none of it amounts to anything. That's why when I say this game feels unfinished, I don't mean that's buggy or missing content or anything like that: I mean that every single element of this game feels like a first draft that goes nowhere (including combat, what other explanation can there be for the game making you use SCREW CRUSHER DEATH KICK exclusively for multiple hours only to unceremoniously throw you every single other death skill at you at once?), a digital version of a planning whiteboard full of everyone's vague ideas.

RANK 6: STRIKES AGAIN

There's a faint air of desperation about it all, leaping from scene to scene hoping that at least some of it will sink in and resonate. And, fair dos: I thought the Midori Midorikawa bit was cute and Death Chair Girl's section, involving murdering a sobbing alien mourning its friend while it quoted the end Rocky over and over while Travis says "I'm finally a hero!", was genuinely gnarly in an interesting way and was the only time I felt the spirit of NMH1 shine through. But as the game goes on it only gets more and more desperate to be liked, culminating in a last couple hours that are genuinely embarrassing and cringeworthy to behold, from simply recycling the ending of TSA with zero of the original impact, to begging Takashi Miike to make a No More Heroes movie after the entire game has been spent singing his praises (admittedly these scenes are fun in isolation but my god do they grate repeated ad nauseam) before the train finally meets its wreck as the game ends in what can only be described as a digital adolescent temper tantrum, as Grasshopper copes hard about not getting Travis in Smash Bros. while Suda once again makes a simulacrum of John Riccitello to make fun of and digitally take his revenge on for not getting to make Kurayami the way he wanted. I cannot describe how utterly embarrassing and pathetic this spectacle is: I think Riccitello is a shitbag too (for other reasons than Kurayami, admittedly) but all of you are way too old to be engaging in "oh yeah!!! i'll show u!!! i'll make you into my game and have you be a big ugly loser who gets killed by my OC while piloting an advertisement for another game!!!!" petulant childish nonsense.

RANK 5: LOLLIPOP CHAINSAW

This isn't the thing I found most upsetting about the game, though. That would be the way in which this game continues an upsetting trend from No More Heroes 2: that of extremely upsetting purposeless psychosexual hyperviolence against women for no good reason. Shinobu is brutally fridged at the start of the game and ends up doing basically fuck-all for the whole experience, whatever wrinkles TSA introduced to Bad Girl's character that made her return an intriguing prospect are completely dropped here, but most upsetting of all is the return of Kimmy from NMH2, already a pretty suspect idea in that game, which is turned up to eleven when she is murdered in a flagrantly pornographic way that is deeply uncomfortable, but not in any way that feels purposeful in any way shape or form. I'm not gonna describe the scene other than saying it's the most violently sexual thing I've seen in a game in some time and seems to be played largely for titillation because there's zero discussion on anything that occurs here. Whatever nuance that has to be entered into a scene to have it be more than a straightforwardly exploitative misogynistic scene is absent here.

RANK 4: REPORT FROM HELL

In this way, the shape of this scene is the shape of the game itself: there's no nuance anywhere, nothing substantive to justify any of this. In the early hours of my playthrough, I latched onto the one cohesive element of the game: the fact that every single element feels hollow, undeveloped, like a total facade, was surely deliberate, surely leading to something. But as time passed, as image after unremarked upon image is vaguely gestured at by the game only to be dropped with zero development or nuance, that reading became more and more strained. I could galaxy brain this, I could say that Santa Destroy is a wasteland full of no real people purposefully, I could say that every single fight taking place in the same warehouse with different set-dressing is deliberately drawing attention to the hollowness of it all, but at what point do I have to admit that the game isn't engaging with any of this in a meaningful way? At what point is this game not commenting on facile, undeveloped, perfunctory sequels, and is it just...one of those?

RANK 3: KILLER IS DEAD

I have no doubt that there are people for whom this resonates. I recognise that I'm coming in with quite a strong take: not for nothing is the game sitting pretty with a very high average score on this website. But I have to be honest with myself and say that any attempts to be generous with my reading of this game are based solely in the pedigree of those behind it, and that I have been harsher to better games in the past. I could be extremely generous, I suppose. But it would just be because I want to be, not because I think the game actually deserves it. At some point, I simply have to admit that this cloying, overly-referential, late-era punk band album desperately screaming about how much it wants to be liked...is just kinda sad.

RANK 1: LET IT DIE

No one can like a band forever. Sometimes you grow apart. And at this point, there are talented creators I would have a much better time exploring, rather than chasing the shadow of games that came out around 15 years ago.

I guess that's me killing my past.

This review contains spoilers

"Too bad there won't be a sequel"- Sylvia No More heroes

Well here we are 3 sequels later and maybe finally the end of the No More Heroes series, and I gotta say its not that good. No More Heroes 1 was a raw, gorey satire which managed to be an exploration of video game stories, a surreal journey into depravity, and just a disgustingly good time. No More Heroes 2 was a failure of a sequel that simply missed the point of No More Heroes 1 along with having just hoards of enemies with overly long health bars. Travis Strikes Again was an incredible spin off that combined Travis with the dark and ominous writing of Suda's past works and a semi autobiographical tale of Grasshopper itself. Considering the change in tone from NMH2 to TSA I assumed the more traditional, action, jokey story of NMH2 was something done without much input from Suda, but it seems that was always the plan for a numbered No More Heroes game all along as 3 has a very similar tone. Its better written and more stylish then 2 but falls into the same trap of devolving into something simultaneously too funny yet also too melodramatic for its own good.

Rather then Travis simply fighting for his own jollies this time he's saving the world and also avenging his friends again (just like Bishop in NMH2). Despite Badman's death being what sets up the story its only brought up twice afterwards and Badman also gets no screen time before his death. Turning into the same shallow misery porn plot engine that NMH1 criticized to begin with. The majority of the boss cutscenes this time are used for meta jokes rather then actual characterization like the first and in general the story is just over whelmingly shallow. A good chunk of the gags are funny this time around, but also don't amount to much memorable. The one exception to this is the Henry cutscenes which are all very ominous and sneak in kill the past references without being overly obvious. The super hero satire NMH3 based it's marketing off of is simple barely present hear. Beyond Fu calling himself a super hero in the cutscene and a returning Destroyman boss there isn't much here that references western comics let alone critiques it any meaningful way. Other story elements are taken wholesale from Travis Strikes again like the retuning VN segments where most of the new characters are nameless dispensers of one punchline, or the returning 2D pixel art Travis segment which in Travis Strikes Again was full of depth but here is a simple one time gag calling back to another gag. There is even another Kamui appearance where he is a random wacky teenager for some reason.

Without a core interesting story to fall back on No More Heroes 3's systems have no ground to stand on the same way NMH 1's shallow gameplay had an excellent story to fall back on. The combat is certainly on the surface better then NMH 1's with the focus turned from pure crowd control to an enemy based system with a more diverse and dangerous enemy set. Yet, by the end game it simply devolves into doing stun lock 200 hit combos on the same enemies as Travis lacks any extra weapons and has only one unlockable combo and only 4 cooldown skills. The open world is back from one and is simply the same thing just with more locations and more busy work fetch quests to do. The one bustling city of santa destroy which houses real people like the job guy and naomi have been turned into lifeless husks with endless copy past aliens who provide almost every side job and Naomi is now a tree with 3 lines of dialog. The side job based grind of NMH1 is broken by the simple fact that mandatory missions and bosses give the player so much money grinding never really has to be done to pay for fights, and all upgrades are paid using a separate currency.

Graphics wise NMH3 has an excellent UI and sense of style hidden behind and ugly every thing else. Shading glitches, clipping, low draw distance, low rez textures that pop in, and a low open world frame rate just scream low budget in a way the blockbuster NMh1 never did on the Wii. NMH1 had simple but clean graphics and a lower frame rate on a large open world was acceptable on the Wii.

This review has been mostly negative, but there still is plenty to like here. The UI and ost are both incredible, and there are funny jokes and even a few good story beats. The combat is quite good for the first 6 ranks even, but for the big Suda written NMH numbered sequel I just can't help but be disappointed by the ugly graphics, shallow writing, and repetitive gameplay. There is a point where low budget tedious gaming punk rock simply travels into being tedious and ugly. Whatever budget Grasshopper actually had it wasn't enough to make the big crazy action game Suda wanted me invested in.

This review contains spoilers

No More Heroes III is a game I initially thought incredibly highly of, mostly to deflect from my disappointment that a franchise that has played an instrumental part in my personal development didn't leave with a bang, but a whimper.

Had Suda51 not been so open in recent interviews about how Grasshopper's access to the IP is fleeting and that this will likely be the last time we see the cast for the better part of a decade, the egregious yet charmingly self aware sequel-bait ending might have been a little more palatable.

There's also the unfortunate case of No More Heroes III's fairly mediocre soundtrack. Rize drummer Nobuaki Kaneko is at the helm for most of the combat tracks in the game, though this mostly amounts to a loud wall of drums and little else of note. The game's best track, Start The Game, comes from Grasshopper and No More Heroes numbered-entry veteran Jun Fukuda and is heard literally once during one of the first by-the-books, mechanic-checklist tutorials. It's incredible.

That being said there's admittedly quite a lot to like here, most notably a massively overhauled combat system that makes good use of a few of it's 2019 predecessors more interesting mechanics: the Tension Gauge and Death Glove. Whilst not as expansive as Travis Strikes Again's offerings, these four abilities do a lot to make this the most fun a No More Heroes game has been to play since the franchises inception. That doesn't mean it's the best though, as I've always felt that the first game has thematically flawless gameplay; of course the otaku, trained on anime and pro-wrestling tapes, would live out his fantasised boss battles with all the weight of samurai duels of old.

That's about the extent of III's homages to Travis Strikes Again however, because Dr. Juvenile is reduced to a piece of plot armour who's shilling publisher Marvelous' DAEMON X MACHINA as the credits roll for the first of multiple times and newfound hardcore fan-favourite Badman is beaten to a bloody pulp shortly before the Rank #9 fight.

Poor writing isn't relegated to just Dr. Juvenile either, as not a single member of III's fairly sizeable female cast is given even a shred of depth. Though in all fairness most of the men, outside of Travis and FU, aren't treated much better either.

This might be due in part to how III is structured, just like the Netflix inspired pre-chapter credits would lead you to believe, No More Heroes III is explicitly episodic.
Normally this would be fine as all of the games prior were technically chapter-based, even if they weren't obvious about it, but this presentation makes each and every inevitable trademark Goichi Suda Narrative Fakeout that much more of a kick in the teeth when they miss their mark and rob the player of the one opportunity per ranking they had to be graced with even a nugget of story content.

Naïve as it may be to have expected it, No More Heroes III feels a lot less like an earnest follow-up to Travis Strikes Again and more akin to a No More Heroes 2.5.

While I didn't hate my time with it, No More Heroes 3 was profoundly disappointing to me. The original game blew my mind back in 2008 and quickly became one of my favorites. Its unusual grindhouse-esque vibes and cheeky sense of humor made for an experience unlike anything I had seen. Everything about it felt comedic yet deeply unsettling with plenty to say both about its atypical protagonist and video games as a whole. It played well too, with flashy combat that looked amazing and felt great once you got the hang of it. NMH2 wasn't far behind it in overall quality either and I absolutely loved it for its improved combat, excellent soundtrack and (slightly) heightened stakes. These games (along with Killer7) were my introduction to Suda51 and Grasshopper, and for a minute there, I was starting to think they were infallible. Shadows of the Damned proved this wrong pretty quickly, but it was still a decent enough game and removed from the expectations that come with a sequel like this. NMH3 feels like it was compromised in every aspect of its design (in part due to reasons beyond the team's control, like covid) and struggles to have anything interesting to say, leaving me with only a void in my heart and thoughts that I still have a hard time putting into words.

Travis Strikes Again certainly had interesting things to say about Suda51's career as well as the industry in general, but playing it was an absolute nightmare of tedium that legitimately strained my eyes. A lot of its choices did not jive with me at all, but I was hopeful it was just an experiment of sorts and NMH3 would veer closer to the first two games. Turns out, I was half right - NMH3 plays very much like the first two and is a more enjoyable experience than TSA by default for it, but everything else about it picks up exactly where TSA left off, much to my chagrin.

TSA served up a significant transformation of Travis' character. Rather than the sociopathic yet oddly likeable killer we had come to know, he had become more of a recluse, intentionally hiding away from society to play video games in the woods. While a sensible enough change considering all he's been through and the end of his arc in NMH2, he felt like he had become a completely different person so suddenly, less of an individual and more of a mouthpiece for Suda51's views and experience with video games and the industry he works in. This isn't inherently a bad thing and considering how many people seem to consider TSA the best entry nowadays, it seems to have resonated with its target audience, but I found this change to be mostly insufferable. Part of what made the first two games so memorable to me was how bizarre yet driven in personal ways everyone was. Watching Travis bicker and interact with similarly deranged people, some of which simply enjoyed the thrill of the kill and others who were more nuanced, made for entertainment that was like watching reality TV - you know everyone involved kinda sucks, but that's what makes it so fun! But here, Travis is so far removed from all of that and it just makes him boring by comparison. The game is so fixated on video games that you generally know what's coming and what he's going to say based on the environment alone. It reminds me of Eat Lead if anyone remembers that game - a game that just reeks with "how do you do, fellow kids?" energy. It's a weird choice to me because prior to this I wouldn't have questioned Suda's love for the medium at any point, so I don't really understand why the game was so insistent on trying to relate to me through video game references instead of through the perspective and experiences specific to the character I had grown to love.

I bring this all up because NMH3 takes this and amps it up further. TSA Travis at least had his moments of introspection and intrigue, but NMH3 Travis is all figured out. He loves video games and Takashi Miike films and he'll let you know about it constantly. He grew up with a video game he has a personal connection to called Deathman (just like you, a person who probably likes video games!). He's essentially a rich superhero with access to advanced tech like Iron Man and everybody loves him and lives with him now. It is a "proper" conclusion to his arc in that he has come a long way since his early days and learned a lot, but it's also a far less interesting conclusion that feels surprisingly normal coming from a team that tends to do anything but. Celebrated, 100% competent heroes like this are a dime a dozen in video games, so it was a shame to see Travis become someone far less interesting than he once was even if he is a better person for it.

This kind of treatment technically extends to the rest of the cast as well. Much ado was made about Bad Girl and Shinobu returning in TSA, but here they're sidelined until the end immediately. Badman gets even less time in the spotlight (for a good reason, admittedly) and Sylvia is mostly reserved for a lingering plot thread/recurring joke that never gets resolved in a satisfying way. Henry is a completely different person now and goes from a perfect foil to Travis to a brief, purely antagonistic force that ushers in the most nonsensical portion of the game. Naomi is a tree now, for some reason? At least Jeane the cat gets a new, extremely deep voice that's pretty hilarious; they're probably the most entertaining character in the game now! But beyond that, the characters we've come to know over multiple games are at their least nuanced and likeable here, and considering that this may be the last NMH game ever, that's a huge bummer.

The new characters vary in quality to dramatic degrees. Some characters, like new antagonist Fu, get plenty of time to showboat and do ridiculous things that make them fit right in (though he also gets what might be one of the worst boss fights in recent memory, what a tragedy!), whereas other characters get a scene or two at most or remain mostly unexplained to those not familiar with Suda51's older work. The majority of the alien bosses you fight are some of the dullest foes Grasshopper has presented - most of them are unceremoniously killed in a cutscene or have little of interest to say when you do actually get to fight them. It's telling that the best boss fight by far is the one that's a direct callback to NMH2! There are attempts to make the player see the aliens from Fu's perspective as he bonds with them one last time before their battles with Travis, but these rarely make a lasting impact because of how disposable they end up feeling. It's a noble attempt though and is the only aspect of the game that feels like a proper commentary on a greater theme (the power of friendship vs trusting only yourself and how Travis and Fu represent this) instead of Suda51 just reminding you of what he likes again and again.

Among the game's many polarizing elements is its presentation. The previous games, even TSA, had style in spades, but NMH3 is much shakier. In some places, such as the anime-style intro and ending used for each chapter, the game looks gorgeous, but when actually playing the game, specifically while in the open world, it may very well be one of the ugliest games I've ever seen. Bringing back the open world was a controversial idea considering how it wasn't super well received in NMH1, but theoretically it would have been possible to expand upon it and make it more compelling and fully featured. That... absolutely did not happen here. The open world in NMH3 is probably the most unenjoyable open world I've ever participated in and I found it had absolutely nothing to offer me. Likely due to a combination of budget, time, and covid, the world looks completely unfinished, consisting mostly of empty space, some cats and scorpions to find, aliens that give you t-shirts, and some of the most bright, eyesearingly white buildings I've ever seen. It got to the point that I had to keep my trips in the first part of the open world short because my eyes couldn't handle looking at it! There are some things you can do for cash like various minigames, but once you've got some ranking fights and required qualifier battles under your belt, you'll never need the money they can provide. The minigames honestly aren't bad this time around, it'd just be nice if they were more worthwhile in terms of rewards. Luckily, none of the other areas are as blindingly white as the first one, so I was able to explore them more, but they all fail to impress, with the last two being particularly dumbfounding.

One of them is called "Call of Battle", which as the name implies is a cheeky reference to Call of Duty, I guess. Except that... there's no joke and it has no reason to be here or fit in with the rest of the world? It just looks like a brown war-torn wasteland with ruined buildings, people walking around as if nothing's weird about it, and nothing else of note. It even has a weird grainy CRT filter on the screen whenever you're there, which is such a weird place to go with the idea. Call of Duty games were on older consoles like the PS2, sure, but does anyone actually think of Call of Duty when they think of CRTs? It feels wildly out of touch and random in a way that's almost embarrassing to witness and I constantly found myself wishing that I didn't have to be there.

The other one that really stood out was Neo Brazil. With a name like that, I was expecting some kind of cool futuristic city, but instead I got a flat white plain with a few buildings and some grass on it. It legitimately feels like someone had just started a new project in whatever their program of choice is but had to save it and ship it out before they could finish. This is the last area you see before the final one, too, so it's a hell of a way to fail to impress players with your late-game! It's staggering just how empty and lifeless it is, so much so that I'm wondering if there's some kind of joke I'm missing. Is this a weird jab at Brazil, a reference to yet another anime, or is it exactly what I think it is and covid just hit this game extremely hard? Who knows!

The one part of NMH3 that doesn't feel like a pure downgrade is the combat. It's essentially a continuation of NMH2 that exchanges some of its depth for accessibility and speed. You unfortunately only get one beam katana this time around, stance changing is gone, and you can't punch people to break their guard, but combos now flow more easily from the start thanks to weak/strong attacks having clear, specific combos. Perfect dodging works much more consistently now and the death glove from TSA returns to give you four special attacks on a cooldown. Each one is really useful, ranging from a drop kick to a continuous area of effect that can be placed down to damage foes further as you wail on them. The slash reels return and activate a bevy of random effects that feel too rigged in the player's favor this time around. I was surprised how often I was getting tremendous power boosts and super modes in the middle of boss fights - it made several of them a total joke! The best part of all is that the enemy variety is by far at its best this time around. The game shows its hand too fast and reveals every type surprisingly quickly, but each one fights in pretty different ways; some types prefer to snipe from afar whereas others will rush at you relentlessly or use unique gimmicks like shields that require different approaches. I really missed the bloodcurdling screams that came with fighting normal people in the first two games, but considering how many games neglect and underestimate the importance of enemy variety, seeing it here was very much appreciated. This is also the one part of the game that actually looks and feels good to play, since the excessive particle effects and loud beam katana sounds are back once again to make combat as flashy and impactful as it should be.

Even with all its improvements, combat eventually wears thin thanks to the open world structure. Instead of unique levels tied to each boss, you just have to find copy-pasted battle arenas to fight enemies in until you're allowed to challenge the boss. While the levels in the previous games could run far too long for their own good, completely removing them wasn't the solution. Now, it just feels like you never get a break from the open world grind. What you do at the start is what you're doing at the end, and Travis' arsenal isn't big enough to keep these fights interesting forever. There's incentive to fight enemies multiple times to afford stat upgrades and get materials for chips that can be equipped, but at least on the game's default difficulty, you really don't need to engage with these systems much at all. Stat boosts are obviously good, but some of the moves you can learn are either superfluous or flat out interfere with your usual combo structure. I found a few chips that didn't have drawbacks and had no trouble holding onto those the entire game. Making your postgame content of sorts a grind to get better gear so you can re-fight things you've already fought isn't exactly a compelling way to extend playtime for me and probably many other people, if I had to guess.

In case it wasn't obvious by now, I found No More Heroes 3 to be thoroughly underwhelming. Though its combat is good and the soundtrack, while not up to the standards of the first two games, is pretty decent, everything else was a significant step down. The story is the weakest I've ever seen from a Grasshopper game and it completely fails to do anything interesting or emotional with its characters. Instead of making this a properly satisfying conclusion to a series more than a decade old, it insists upon providing rote, neverending winks towards its audience along with an almost cringeworthy amount of Takashi Miike fanboying and expects you to accept it without question and believe it's leading up to something. Even the finale is mired in wacky, random video game references that hog the air in the room and a cliffhanger tease that sounds way better than the story we actually got! While I can certainly respect personal passion projects from creative, interesting individuals, this one somehow feels too personal and indulgent, to the point where it forgets that there are people out there who aren't necessarily interested in hearing about its creator's every little interest. This game is a Q&A session between Suda and his diehard fans first and foremost, not the story of the weirdo assassin clawing his way to the top that I fell in love with. I can't help but wonder and become wistful over what could have been if the game had more time in the oven, zero interference from covid, and more visible signs of other creative voices involved in its production. What was once one of the games I was most excited for in the history of my entire time with the medium ended up leaving me feeling frustrated and retrospectively uninterested in exploring the rest of a catalog I was once really interested in doing so. For 15 hours, I waited for the one ridiculous moment, the one laugh out loud joke, the one exhilarating boss fight that would have brought me back to the wonder I felt in 2008 all over again, but that moment never came.

this game has the vibe of an adult swim show I'd watch half asleep as a kid, only for it to incessantly live in my unconscious memory for years to come.

Master.
I shit my pants.
I shit my pants really bad.
Stinky.
In the name of Harman...

This review contains spoilers

"Then there is no alternative to crossing swords."

"'Fraid not. It's all for the sake of the game."

No More Heroes 3 is what happens when you spend years and years building up the eventual return of a deified auteur director, spend years and years dissecting every little thing he has said about his work, his triumphs, his failures, and everything in between and spend years and years wondering why he would bring back a finished story twice and what he'd want to say with it.

The result is empty and hollow. A shadow of what came before. Fun but ultimately disappointing.

I'll get the boring takes out of the way first.

The combat in this game is incredible, I've always heard people kinda talk down the combat of the first game as utilitarian, only there to service the narrative and themes of the first game, and while I agree that the combat and gameplay loop is incredibly purposeful, I kinda disagree with that. While the first game never had technique or style of a Devil May Cry or a Bayonetta game, there’s something I find so fun about pushing simplistic combat systems to their limit and No More Heroes had that feeling in spades, landing combos, chuckin people, dark stepping, there’s little like it on the Wii and No More Heroes 3 polishes that up to such an insane level. It’s carved it’s own little sector knowing the limits of these systems but still offering challenging encounters on top of that, you only fight around a maximum of 5 people in small boxy combat arenas but the amount of mileage they get out of that is insane, there’s a healthy amount of enemies in the game and enough little quirks to make finding out how to style on enemies, letting the enemy attack, dodging at exactly the right time to get the darkstep and then slashing like a madman until your power meter borders on empty and then when the enemy is dazed throwing them to get the power filled automatically. It’s great stuff

And of course, every review is contractually obligated to mention that everything surrounding the game is next fucking level, The UI and sound design is fine tuned to the Nth degree. It’s a joy to flick through menus, start missions and jobs and just exist within the games superficial elements, the soundtrack is packed with fucking bangers as well

Where the game loses me, and where the true disappointment lies for me at least, is the narrative.

The narrative of the first No More Heroes means a lot to me, a game about a borderline irredeemable bastard navigating the world of labour both as having a job and as his hobby, the lines between work and play are blurred as Travis Touchdown works boring jobs like mowing lawns or cleaning graffiti so he can pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to the United Assassins Association so he can violently mutilate people as a fucked extension of his media obsessed home life, all for the vague promise that if he kills enough people to get to the top of the rankings, he’ll finally be able to sleep with someone. At the end of the day he comes out the other side with nothing but an empty bank account and blood on his hands as it turns out The UAA never existed, all a ploy to exploit his labour as a loser virgin. It’s a biting commentary on not only the medium but also the nature of work, how hobbies can be exploited for that gain and the very audience holding the controller at the other end. It’s a game that asks difficult questions to the player that aren’t solved simply with a resolution of beating the bad guy or killing your long lost siblings, with the end of the game actively making a joke out of the idea of a traditional resolution.

In the time since then, the series has continued though, with the frankly awful No More Heroes 2 completely retconning the ending of the first game and missing the point, to the admittedly refreshing Travis Strikes Again, a game about the creators first hand experience with the labour that got him to the position he is in now. That was Suda's first proper directors credit since that first game alongside Ren Yamazaki, after taking a backseat working on games like Lollipop Chainsaw and Killer is Dead, games with much less to say that really embraced the "woah wacky 4th wall breaking" reputation that Grasshoppers games got, while missing the heart and the bite that made those older games so powerful

And it's fairly obvious that this is the path No More Heroes 3 took.

the story goes through the paces much like 1 and 2, you climb up the ladder, killing enemies as you go up the rankings, this time around your fighting self proclaimed Superhero aliens, the game makes it incredibly clear that it knows about the modern media landscape, the game is presented as an old tokusatsu show being watched through Netflix, the game opens on Travis experiencing Nostalgia not through the games he loved himself but watching it through youtube and there are many references to the pop culture assimilation known as the MCU, all of these elements together could make for a very interesting narrative, the Kill the Past titles have experimented with connected stories for years, so why couldn't they tackle the current dominating force holding the title of definitive connected universe.

The problem comes from the fact that they do fuck all with any of this. There are flashes of interesting ideas that poke through the facade, occasionally a character from the series' past will show up, a particular highlight being when a boss is killed in a cutscene without a boss fight, meaning the UAA literally just shove in a mass produced Destroyman to fill the space as to not break the routine, I've already mentioned the references to modern media landscapes, the concept of old media being experienced through new mediums appears throughout, building to the fight with Henry, a rehash of the first game with similar convolution, ending with Travis being violently killed in the one place the games have hammered home is a point of safety in its own surreal way.

I was fully ready at this point for the real narrative weight to come in.

But it just doesn't, this moment only serves to do a lazy rehash of the ending of TSA and then have one of the most pathetic moments of the series, where Travis begs Takashi Miike (a famous film director that the game really wants you to know that they know) to make a No More Heroes movie, the rest of the game plods along ending just as predictably as you think, Travis kills the villains, all so we can make a shit joke about Smash Brothers and a joke sequel bait which was a lot funnier in the first game when the narrative was grounded in some form of hyper form of reality.

And, I get it, this is a different game than what came before, maybe they just wanted to make a funny little game, which would be fine if the dialogue wasn't this embarrassing. The thoughtful discussion of ideology and place in the world of the first game is replaced by constant meta gags about how you are in fact playing a video game right now, 90 percent of the jokes in the game are Travis telling us that he knows what a video game is, coupled with some absolutely awful sequences like the Rap Battle with Kimmy Love (the entire Kimmy chapter is grossly sexist btw).

Meta Humour is nothing new for any of Suda's games really but where the first game complemented actual conversations between characters with substance with 4th wall breaks to bridge the gap between the player and the game, putting you in the right mind to really understand what you were being presented with, in this game, the meta humour is the substance and the schtick gets old fast.

When all of that sets in, the cracks start to show, why bring back the original gameplay loop of jobs and minigames and paying the UAA to go kill people. if you have nothing to say about it, it all comes across as remarkably hollow

This game does all of the shit we dragged all the non Suda written and directed games over the coals for in its writing. What does this game have that something like Killer is Dead didn't? It's crowd pleasing gruel with nothing interesting to say.

I've heard the cries of some explaining that that is the point, that it's actually a gigabrained parody of sequels that do nothing interesting and reverse all the development of the previous game like something like No More Heroes 2, but even if I was to get over the hurdle that it's just not a very funny parody, what would that say about the message of the game?

Sequel bad? Franchise bad?

Is that all we really expect from games like this? These themes coming from the push towards making uninteresting sequels or continuations have been explored so much better in other games, like Danganronpa V3 or the Final Fantasy 7 Remake and the point those games make using those themes are much more powerful than anything that appears in No More Heroes 3.

I'd feel weird rating this game because I do think the game is fun to play and it's got a killer visual style that shows that the people working at Grasshopper get it more than most, but as a sequel to one of the most interesting pieces of media to come from the Wii generation and an introspective look at where the creator has come from, No More Heroes 3 lacks anything that really made that first game so good. Part of the game being so fun to play while the other part making me feel this empty means I can only really give it a half rating. This is the most disappointed I've been with a sequel in a good while.

The worst thing I can say about this game is that it is not Punk.

TL;DR Suda51 shocks the gaming world once again by co-directing and writing the one thing no-one thought he would. A passable action game

The thing about NMH1 is that it's only a "game about games" insofar as it's a game about labor (specifically wage labor) and the relationship between labor and gaming both materially and representationally. It's effectively a work of games crit aimed at the then-contemporary conventions of "open-world" game design as codified by Grand Theft Auto as a means of examining how thoroughly the medium of video games and the imaginations of the people who play them have been colonized by wage labor and "the grind" to the extent that even our supposed forms of play have taken on the form of work - the minigames are kind of odious and stupid because wage labor is odious and stupid, and gig work especially so. That so little has changed in the intervening 15 years and NMH1 still has just as much bite to it now as then is depressing to contemplate lol.

In addition, Travis Touchdown himself functioned there as a critique of a very particular kind of person/audience - specifically the "nerd" or "otaku" as a consumer, first and foremost, and chauvinist secondly. By extension, it's also a game with a more sharply defined notion of class than I usually see discussed - with the notable exception of Holly Summers, all of the game's characters are split into the very clearly delineated camps of "depraved wealthy freaks" and "working class/poor", with Travis, Shinobu, Speed Buster, Bad Girl (debatably), and Jeane being the only people in the latter camp (Letz Shake is a joke not-boss whose sole purpose is to establish Henry and thus isn't counted). Travis is a neet living in a shitty motel, drifting from gig to gig and paycheck to paycheck, with no family (that he knows of) and the closest thing to a friend being the guy who runs the video store down the street, and deals with this first by embedding himself in otaku consumerism and secondly by purchasing his beam katana online and attempting to get in on "the grind" via the assassin rankings. NMH1 has a keen awareness of the otaku/nerd as a consumer identity and byproduct of capitalism, while simultaneously not losing sight of how people like Travis nevertheless benefit from the spoils of empire and capitalist exploitation - the public beach of Santa Destroy having been overrun by the U.S. mitary invokes the U.S. occupation of both Iraq and Okinawa, for instance.

I could expand on this further but this is ostensibly a NMH3 review so I'll just make one further point regarding the roles Jeane and Henry play in NMH1 in opposition to Travis. Henry serves as a parallel to Travis, rather than his opposite number - where Travis is an isolated subculture-obsessed drop out, Henry is the ostensible dream end product of "the grind": wealthy, cultured, married with a kid and a white picket fence, and gainfully employed full-time. He's the symbol of capitalist assimilation whom Travis both loathes and envies in equal measure, whom he wishes both to destroy and replace. It's fitting the game ends with their battle undecided, for their conflict is not dialectic - they both pursue the same ultimate goal of success but merely start from different points; they are parallel lines that can never truly cross.

Jeane, on the other hand, is different - she represents an existential threat to everything Travis pursues and benefits from without realizing it. Her story and Travis' are practically identical - like him, she "sold her body" for the funding required to train herself into a weapon, only she did so through sex work where Travis does so through gig work, though Travis of course cannot recognize how those two things are fundamentally the same. She murders her rapist, their father, and both destroys and rejects the nuclear family as a system, shattering Travis' hazily idealized memories of his own "happy family." Finally, she fights Travis one-on-one with no tricks and no gimmicks (save for a slowly shrinking boss arena) and, canonically, wins, and would have succeeded in killing Travis were it not for Shinobu interceding and sealing all of their fates. All potential for the shattering of systemic patriarchal violence and the destruction of the family, the possibility for change, is snuffed out with her; the past lives, still.

This is a very scattered and un-thoroughly cataloged collection of Thoughts that I've had percolating while playing NMH3 after having replayed NMH1 and 2 earlier this past year, and having just finished it today I feel reasonably confident in saying it fails to carry through any of what makes NMH1 interesting in ways equally as frustrating as NMH2 and TSA. Combat at least has been refined to a nice sheen and it stands out compared to the rest of the series on that front - the area of effect on QTE killing blows has been radically reduced to the point that it will only take maybe a couple pips off the health of surrounding enemies, but this is compensated for by your Death Glove abilities acting as invaluable crowd control and ranged tools. The Dark Step has been blessedly revised from an unintuitive stick waggle to a dedicated dodge button, and strikes a nice balance between not being quite as overpowered as in NMH1 nor nerfed into irrelevance as in NMH2. Enemy variety has also been greatly expanded with the new alien combatants and their unique gimmicks, and the various combinations each match up introduces keeps things reasonably engaging.

All that aside though, this is the most afterthought of an open world setting in maybe any game I've ever played, to no end that I can discern. The replacement of assassination missions and their varying levels of difficulty and rulesets with "defense missions" where you fight generic waves of different enemy types kinda sucks, as they're just way less fun and interesting. Likewise the removal of pre-boss combat levels where you make your way through an area to their stage, which guts a lot of the personality of the new alien antagonists (at least half of whom get killed by new or returning characters before you can fight or learn much about them anyhow), though Midori Midorikawa and Velvet Chair Girl are imho absolutely series highlights, even if not quite as challenging as I'd like.

Speaking of the aliens, the much-hyped superhero angle goes absolutely nowhere and isn't explored in the slightest, nor do any other potentially interesting thematic threads from the rest of the series. Henry gets a godawful redesign and shows up mostly out of obligation, while Jeane is reduced once again to her namesake being a pet and the biological child of Travis and Sylvia, a depressing legacy. The game likewise makes a big show of bringing back Shinobu and Bad Girl only to have them sidelined for pretty much the entire game for no reason? Idk man I really don't know why I still get expectations for games Goichi Suda is directly involved in (especially the ones he writes himself) given I'm always disappointed to varying extents, but this one in particular really does feel like a hugely wasted opportunity. Granted Suda reportedly sold 80% of his share in NMH to Marvelous!, who thus now exercise far greater discretion over what goes into them, but still! All told I enjoyed Suda's (genuinely cogent and entertaining) digressions on Takashi Miike more than I did pretty much any other element of this game. Unless you're like me and have an abiding affinity for this series, wait til this one is on sale and go watch Andromedia instead; actually just got watch Andromedia regardless it's a masterpiece.