What an absolute disgrace
Boring combat, bland presentation, and a story that has nothing meaningful to say and instead relies on cheap shock value like "OMG, what if a child DIED"
Everyone involved with this should be ashamed with themselves

I usually hate turn based combat but this was a breath of fresh air!

It is my life's mission to destroy every copy of Sonic Heroes, or as I prefer to call it: Sonic Losers
I will not fail my mentor, the Game Dude

An absolutely stunning remake that renders the original obsolete

I would say that Mother 3 walked so that Opposing Force could run but that would imply Mother 3 contributed anything to society
It’s more like Mother 3 awkwardly stumbled around and then fell off a cliff like the stupid idiot it is so that Opposing Force could run

Fire Emblem fans who hate this are like MCU fans who hate Scorsese movies

When will you people realize that Kingdom Hearts is mid
This series will be nothing more than wasted potential until they add the Aerosmith Rock and Roller Coaster as a world

At first I was unsure if I should review this since I technically never played it but then I remembered that I watched a baby sensory video once and that’s basically the same thing

While it shows its age in a lot of areas, I have to give it credit for what it eventually allowed to exist: Dr. Light x Dr. Wily yaoi

I used to think that Ace Attorney had nowhere left to go and had completely run out of ideas but after playing Spirit of Justice, I now know that the series has gone in an exciting new direction: turning Phoenix Wright into Henry Kissinger

Bro do you seriously expect me to find a guy with a triangle for a head scary? Mascot horror is such a joke

I’ve played the first chapter, and honestly I see no positives to it. The graphics are horrendous; I know graphics don’t “matter” or whatever, but I mean come on. I can hardly tell which class I which from this mess of pixels. The music is worse than the GBA soundfont, and loops so quickly I had to mute my computer to prevent myself from going insane. Each character so far gets, like, one line of dialogue, and since there is no support conversations, I have no idea what these characters even are. The gameplay is just the absolute worst. It takes forever to reach from place to place, even in the goddamn prologue. The enemy variety is literally just axes and bows, and the map design is atrocious. People say Awakening’s design was bad, but this...this is just special levels of bad. It’s literally just plains with some trees or cliffs sprinkled throughout. 90% of my time was moving my units closer to the objective, and I had to prevent my lord from fucking stealing exp since he is already so good (what the hell, since when do lords start out good)? And I don’t know if this is my fault or if it’s unlocked later, but my units can’t even trade with one another. I can’t bring myself to believe this is an actual gameplay feature; who the fuck would leave trading out? Not only is the lord also the exp stealing pre-promote, all the other units are trash as well. Noice can’t even do a third of damage to this brigands (who have like 40 hp at level one, wtf?), while Alex does jack shit for damage since all he had is an iron sword and low strength and he’s really bad. Arden I actually know from Heroes, but here he’s just garbage. Not only is his portrait a fucking mess, but he can’t do shit. It takes forever to move him to the next enemy, and even when he gets there, it’s impossible for him to one-round them. The others aren’t much better either; Arvis is as squishy as a mage can get, Lex can never double for some reason (he does have Paragon for some weird fucking reason, though), Finn almost always faces triangle disadvantage, Quan is a prepromote, and Ethlyn is decent, but due to the absurdly high HP for all units in this game, her healing isn’t good. I mean, i can’t name a single positive in this mess of a game. While you can argue that Conquest has a mediocre story, it is objective fact that it has the best gameplay, the best characters, the best maps, the best gameplay, and the best music in the series. Genealogy has NONE of that. People just like Sigurd since he’s broken and liking exp stealing Jagens is the “cool” thing now just because you guys watched one Mecca video or whatever. Whatever. I bet I can’t get through the thick skulls of old fire emblem fans, so my words are just waves crashing against a beach. But if some of you more enlightened fellows could give me literally any reason to continue playing this heap of rubbish, than it will be gladly accepted (I probably won’t, though).

A very avant garde depiction of the laws of reality completely collapsing in on themselves. Seeing that physics have been bent to such an extent where characters constantly clip through objects, defy gravity, etc. is always such a treat

Removing the option to club seals is woke SJW pandering