38 Reviews liked by Empanada


what 0 pussy does to a mf

EDIT: I have found out 5 minutes after posting this review that Emperor Xianfeng had 18 consorts, so this is a historically inaccurate version of events. I apologise for this grievous error and will strive for due diligence on fact-checking for future reviews. Sorry for all who were misled, and I will leave this up for posterity.

nothing is more devastating than checking everywhere in a city only to find out you've wasted half a day and a plane ride because you didn't know what country used kroner as their currency and you never catch the thief that stole the throne of timbuktu

great game, music slaps

kinda makes me feel like im suffocating

Named every account in my life after this gem, so I have to give it 10/10

Causa de muitos suicídios!

This game felt radically different from the original Mario, as if it was from a different series or something. Is there anything from the game's development history that explains why that is? If so, I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk about it.

i had to stop playing to take care of my son

HAHA MADE YOU LOOK!
It's actually exactly as much of a masterpiece as everyone says it is

Some european 4th grader brought this shit to school one day saying "Check it out, I got the Yeti GTA" and everyone lost their shit thinking they were the coolest mf in class.

I'm not a big fan of this style of evidence gathering and court arguing, but oh boy does this game make up for it through its pure charm. The characters, the humor, the theme and the paintings just exude playfulness, and it's worth playing just for this.

The quintessential Mario RPG, featuring Luigi's iconic Striped Socks!

We need more games where we explore Mario's body.

features an impossibly generous depiction of a future san francisco, which is depicted as clean and technologically progressive; i guaranfuckingtee you that by 2064 the city will be a disgusting shit-scented garbage island run by ruthless mad-max style rival tribes based on their district of origin before it is inevitably destroyed by the war between soma's cannibal techno-yuppies and the mission's anarcho-queer doomsday cult. (the upper class will have long left the surface behind in the salesforce tower, which now hovers over the remains of the city, its occupants laughing and clinking glasses of champagne together as they watch the trash pyre at pacific heights burn)

Me playing Macbat 64: 😃

Me playing the bonus levels: 😐

🚨LOVELY GAME ALERT🚨

ABOUT AN ELF is full of boppin dembow beats, politecore trap music, occasional violin, a magical world brought to life with flawless art pop stylings (held back only by the budget of this game’s two-person (‼️‼️) development team) and 🔍 clue-based combat (I love guessing games!).
⚡️
it’s about an elf too: she’s adorable, charming, approachable, delusional, with dreams of an elftopian promised land. She reminds me of one of my favorite people IRL, and if you’re lucky, it’ll hit like that for you too! Elf princess Dam is accompanied by Roland, feline hero-in-training. Wasn’t expecting there to be totally heartwarming moments along their adventure, but yup. They’re here tho!
💦
About An Elf reimagines the fantasy adventure paradigm of many classic RPGs as a visual novel with free-associative guesswork being it’s core combat gameplay mechanic. Win by correctly matching a visual clue with one of your elemental magic affinity of your weapons. For example, does a video of a goldfish mean you should select water magic or fire magic?

So blessed this work of art exists. Issa vibe.
👀 Watch the trailer

ELF LOVE
🤍🧚🏿‍♀️