I mean, I wasn't expecting the Alien Soldier of boob pinching, but this is the only time I've ever played a Treasure game that seemed ideas-first, execution-second. Granted, there are some great ideas! A few bosses land their inventiveness perfectly fine and the presentation of everything is vibrant and clever (besides the EX levels, which kind of suck and are the albatross around this game's otherwise perfect structure).

Cynically, I can't help but think of this game as a canary in the coalmine for Treasure, though; while they made several great games after this (the very next one was Ikaruga), Stretch Panic feels emblematic of a specific decline - that pushing a console to its limits and firing on all cylinders was becoming less viable as a developer calling card. It makes immediate sense that they found a home in the portable consoles, where they were allowed by the standards of the day to continue refining their craft.

I dunno, maybe that's attaching a lot of weight onto a game that at times feels like it's moonlighting as a tech demo, but it's hard not to get in my feelings a little when I play a Treasure game I hadn't before and it disappoints. They're a finite resource these days, so you gotta spread them out! Speaking of which, I hope you're all looking forward to my Sin and Punishment: Star Successor review 20 years from now.

Fundamentally understands that the journey is often times more impactful than the destination, thus making it one of the best road trip pieces of media yet created.

2020

I don't think there's anyone still interfacing with Fuser that is willing to go to bat for every underperforming aspect. At Best, you'll get someone who is in love with the (astonishing) tech of the game enough to sideline the rest of the package. And honestly? That's more valid than usual here, if only due to the game's wide discrepancy between "Freestyle" and, well, every other mode. You might as well launch a separate .exe with the differences.

Yet even then, it's all a little muted to me. While I don't use it derogatorily, "toy" is the word that best describes the whole thing. Its primary purpose is to be immediate and as wrinkle-free as possible. It's good at that! What it's less good at is capitalizing on moments of bliss, when every stem on the platters works with the key and mode and tempo. Sure, you can capture it, maybe employ it later, but it's really difficult to further establish or scrutinize it. The way the songs passively loop into themselves is the toughest nuance to love for me, as it is both the driving force behind the game's success and also the one unchanging aspect that makes it so it's almost impossible to feel completely in control of expression.

what do you do dracula

edit for more serious review: What does RPG mean to you? Swords? XP? For me, and I can only imagine others feel similarly, RPG increasingly means the chance to brainstorm and terraform with friends. When my friends and I meet for RPGs, we aren't beholden to the tropes or strict rules of someone else's idea. We make it, we use it, we enjoy it. Us alone.

There are many reasons why I love this game, but to highlight the most minute (and beautiful) one: no game captures the chaotic specificity of a friendly tabletop campaign better than Space Funeral. Those who know the feeling must see bits of their friend group in the ridiculous names and on-the-spot dialogue. TTRPGs rarely exhibit the grandiosity that high-budget video games sell to you, but you know what they do have? Horses made out of legs.

In Space Funeral, there is a combat action called "Mystery" that causes something completely random to happen. I've been a GM to several campaigns at this point, and boy, let me tell you: there's no button that people love to press more than that one.

This review contains spoilers

Very funny that this game has to come up with a last-minute explanation for why a rich milf would want to be with the grown-up version of the katawa shoujo dude.

A runny yolk becomes inseparable from the egg. Your mother wishes you'd answer her texts.

Yeah, Metroid 1 really tries to punch above its weight, but it's evocative at a time when imagination was key to comprehension. In a world where early video game soundtracks win on their virtuosity, the simple and lonely bleeps of Metroid color this alien (and Alien) world better than the graphics ever could.

Ring Fit's dim-witted progression and simplistic, goal-oriented sessions end up being a strength for a person like me who usually can’t be fucked to exercise. I play and see a different number than before, regardless of what it means, and think “wow, that’s progress.” And in some real, appreciable way, it actually is.

The thrill of exploration distilled down into its simplest form. Ephemeral joy generation in a way few games can truly say they have. You can now put .jpgs in it. Put the "deep" in "deep-fried meme."

Saying this game is "difficult" is like saying getting punched in the face is "dangerous". La-Mulana is outright malevolent. The stench of Konami's decades-old offal will almost make you pass out.

However, I don't think this game's difficulty is the only reason to play, and, speaking frankly, I'm not even "hardcore" enough to think beating this game without assistance is worth it. By maintaining such a level of extremity, La-Mulana is funny like few other games, it is venerable like few other games, and it is certainly rewarding like few other games. Though not always positive, it will insist on leaving an impression.

IMO, best experienced as I did: offhandedly as a conversation piece, pointing out typos while someone else (thank you, Squigglydot) toils with the actual mechanics.

The imagery here is too intangible to latch onto, so you end up with that level of RPGmaker game where everything is just funny or weird and rarely actually impactful. Also I think this game wants some of that Ena money, so there's a cute anime girl companion for some reason? What a hoot! Bababooey!

You see, Konami? As long as you keep not making a new Silent Hill, games like this happen.

And Then A Skeleton Logged Out

One of the first alt-games I can think of that wields the PS1 aesthetic, warping textures and all, with a deftness that matches the origins of its inspiration. Sure, there are chasms of logic leapt over with this game's puzzles, but they mix with the early Fromsoft architecture to create a frolic through themes that would sit comfortably alongside your Yume Nikkis and LSD: Dream Emulators.