Mario Kart Tier List
Mario Kart is cool but I wish it was not a nintendo series
10 Games
I was a Wii hater in childhood - the Grand Prix difficulty was miserable, none of the control schemes felt right, and bikes being objectively better in almost every way to karts pissed me off. Coming back to it, I still dislike those same things, but this is also MK's coolest outing, bar none. The world tournament components, BMX-style track aerodynamics, and jazzsynth music are the peak of Mario Kart's creative identity. No other entry can match the hype of tricking off half-pipes and taking needle-threaded shortcuts over bottomless pits. And the best character is FUNKY KONG ON A BIKE.
1
The first entry with not just 'good' controls, but GREAT controls - smooth as butter with tons of room for snake and drifting tech. 3D Mario Kart on the go with online, download play, missions, kart customization, and 16 returning tracks was an untouchable feat in mid-2000's and still kicks ass today. This was THE DS killer app.
2
Barely controls better than Super and has most of the same problems but it's the one entry in the series that actually captures the sense of go-karting. None of the track designs are complicated enough to make the overly-slick steering feel bad. Mastering the obtuse physics feels rewarding, and each of the 16 tracks are series-defining icons. My guilty pleasure.
3
A weird corporate amalgamate built on the back of an already bizarrely-rostered Wii U title. I like playing it with friends and family but I wish they committed harder to a lot of its new ideas. Only feels regarded as the best Mario Kart for being the least janky and highest on content.
4
The shortcuts, bumpy turns and overly-gamey course design of MK is the series' saving grace. Saying that, the transition to laser-focused arcade controls while trying to respect the party elements of the original make for a weird clash.
Also loses points bc this is the most crowded game w/ kids and parents at arcades. I could never sit down for a really dedicated session without (A) feeling guilty about being a grown-ass adult hogging a kid's game, and (B) surrounding myself with crying infants and soccer moms.
Need to replay this on Dolphin for a better take.
Also loses points bc this is the most crowded game w/ kids and parents at arcades. I could never sit down for a really dedicated session without (A) feeling guilty about being a grown-ass adult hogging a kid's game, and (B) surrounding myself with crying infants and soccer moms.
Need to replay this on Dolphin for a better take.
5
Double Dash was my first Mario Kart, which means I have credibility to be a hater! Double Dash is mid!! Y'all horribly overhype what the 2-rider gimmick brings to the table, and steering has this rear-wheel-drive stiffness - better and worse than 64 in different ways, but ultimately poor for the series' 4th entry. At least the track selection, roster and battle modes make up for it: All bangers, no weak links.
6
THE most dripless Mario Kart. It being functional makes it preferable to some of the games below but, damn. Rushed out the door doesn't even begin to describe the lack of anything here. I don't even hate it but I wouldn't revisit it over anything else here.
7
Kinda codifies MK's legacy as the family-fun racing game with lots of content but terrible driving controls and miserable CPU AI. Has the worst of the franchise's worst but gets brownie points for both novelty and being a commendable starting point. Not many 4th gen games could size up to 20 racetracks, 8 characters and full battle mode, that's value man.
8
Glorified theme park attraction. There is no game here. It's a flashy MK-shaped novelty to waste 5 bucks on with your friends. Blech.
9
The novelty of 40 MK tracks on the go is horribly undermined by how abysmal the controls are - three different ways to take tighter turns and they all feel useless! The all-time low of the main series, bar none.
10
3 Comments
Honestly, Double Dash still has some of the best feeling controls for me, I'm sorry.
@bansheeneet sm64 and oot both are in that camp too, they both make way more sense for a high-resistance stick that's expecting you to make conscious half-tilts
BansheeNeet
1 year ago