Throughout my many years of playing games from Sega’s lineup of consoles, the one console that I have little to zero experience with whatsoever would be the Sega Saturn. I have played some games from the system, such as Nights Into Dreams and maaaaaaaaaaaaybe Sonic R, even though I’m not sure if that’s a real game, but aside from those two, I have had zero experience with any Sega Saturn exclusive games whatsoever. It is a shame too, considering that from what I have seen, it looks like there are a lot of quality games for the system, ones that probably don’t reach the same quality as many other games of the era, but enough to where anyone who owned the system could definitely get their money’s worth from a nice selection of titles to choose from. So, I figured it is about time that I dip my toes further into the pool that is the Sega Saturn library, starting with a game that was a launch title for the system for us Americans, Clockwork Knight.

I have never played this game or it’s sequel before, but I have known about them for quite a while, seeing them being played on some YouTube channels that I have been subscribed to over the years. It looked charming enough with its toy-themed setting, and it did look short enough to where I could get through it in one afternoon, so I figured “Why the hell not?”, and I did blaze through it in that same afternoon, finding a charming and fun game that… doesn’t really do that much. It is a solid platformer all throughout for the most part, and it does the job that it is supposed to do, but there are definitely plenty of other titles that were out around this time that could do what this game did a whole lot better.

The story is fairly standard for a game like this, where in a seemingly average household at midnight, all of the toys in the house are brought to life by the voice of lovely Clockwork Fairy Princess Chelsea, and everybody goes about their merry way as a result, but suddenly, she is kidnapped by an unknown and mysterious force, so it is up to Sir Tongara de Pepperoucha III, or just Pepper, to set out on a journey to rescue her and stop her vile kidnapper, which is all presented in a charming, yet understandably terrifying, intro cutscene, which does give the story much more charm despite how generic it is. The graphics are pretty good, using pre-rendered sprites for the characters and enemies like Donkey Kong Country, and mixing them together with 3D polygonal environments, all of which blend together pretty well, despite it obviously looking dated, the music is pretty good, having plenty of enjoyable tunes to listen to throughout your journey, and the gameplay/control is pretty standard for a 2D platformer, but it all works out pretty well, and you can get a handle on things with no problem whatsoever.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of Pepper, go through four different worlds, each with two levels and a boss, all themed around different toys and other objects and places you would find in an average house, go through many different platforming challenges while taking out plenty of enemies using your trusty keyblade weapon (wait a minute…), gather plenty of different coins, health upgrades and pickups, and extra lives to give you an advantage for what comes up ahead later down the road, and take on several boss fights that range from being piss easy to mildly annoying, all for the purpose of saving the one girl who is responsible for your entire existence. It’s the same song and dance you have seen time and time again, with very little to make it stand out amongst other titles, but again, it does manage to still be fun for the time it lasts, and its simplicity does help make it more appealing for those like myself who were looking for something to play from the console as an introduction.

Given that this was a launch title for the Sega Saturn (for us Americans, anyway), it is important for the game to not only be fun, but to also show off some of the things that the system was capable of, and while it doesn’t push the system to its limits, it does a good job at showing some of the things it can do. There are plenty of different cutscenes throughout the game, showing the characters animated with a CG style, and while nowadays these cutscenes look terrifying just from the toy designs alone, I imagine this must’ve looked really impressive back in the day. Not only that, but once again, the pre-rendered sprites for the characters and enemies mesh together really well with the 3D environments, and the main gameplay style is familiar enough for those who owned plenty of other well-known titles for the Sega Genesis, being able to bring them into this new generation smoothly without anything too crazy or intimidating getting in the way.

With all that being said though, from the lens of a modern-day player like myself, there isn’t much else the game has going for it other then that. It is a very basic platformer, where ya run, ya jump, ya grab the shiny objects, ya save the girl, ya drill these guys in the ass with your keyblade, we all know how it goes. It manages to do everything right, and it feels good to play, but at the same time, it doesn’t go out of its way to really shake things up or do anything crazy, which leads it to being somewhat generic as a result. Not to mention, the game is REALLY short, only having eight main levels and five bosses, all of which can be beaten fairly quickly if you know what you are doing, which is definitely a letdown. If only there was maybe one or two more worlds with more fleshed out mechanics, as well as possibly adding one or two more levels to the already existing worlds, then maybe this would feel like a complete package, but as it stands, it does feel like it ends too quickly once you beat the final boss, leaving you wanting a little more.

Overall, despite how basic and short the game is, Clockwork Knight manages to not only do a good job at being a launch title for the Sega Saturn, but also for being just an all around enjoyable platformer, full of plenty of platforming challenges for those that are fans of the genre, an impressive visual style and graphics for the time, and having a sense of charm to it that does make it much more appealing as a result. I would definitely recommend it for those who are looking for something to play on the system, or for those who are just fans of 90s platformers in general, because while this isn’t the meatiest one of the bunch, it should provide a good amount of fun and leaves you satisfied by the end of it all. Although, speaking of which, it does kinda suck that it ends on a cliffhanger of all things, which really paints a picture of what they are trying to do. “Aw, you wanna know what happens to Chelsea? Well, you can certainly find out, for a small $60 fee, thank you very much…”

Game #570

I had no sword at all for two and a half hours.

I eventually found Biggoron's Sword on sale for 15 Rupees in the Goron City shop as Adult Link. However, as an incredibly frustrated young Alex learned in 1999, you cannot defeat Ganon in Ocarina of Time with the Biggoron Sword. In order to finish the game, the final blow must come from the Master Sword.

During my first playthrough of this (or any) randomizer, the Master Sword was the very last item that I found. This is what it took for me to find it:

• Both the Master Sword and the Kokiri Sword were in the Fire Temple in optional chests, with the Master Sword's chest requiring the Scarecrow Song to reach it. But I couldn't get to either of those without access to the Megaton Hammer, as the room to the left where you encounter Darunia had no keys in it. (The key to the door on the right side of the entry hall turned out to be in the Boss Key chest)

• The Hammer was in the Gerudo Training Grounds, so I was ultimately gated by my lack of Hover Boots.

• The Hover Boots were in Jabu-Jabu's belly, in place of the Zora's Sapphire. But I couldn't complete that section without the Boomerang.

• The Boomerang was in the moat in place of the Ocarina of Time, but I needed the 3 Spiritual Stones before Zelda would chuck it in there.

• The Kokiri Emerald was in one of the Gibdo coffins in the Bottom of the Well, so I needed the Lens of Truth to discover that.

• And the Lens of Truth was sold by a Business Scrub in Dodongo's Cavern. I got a good deal though, it was only 10 rupees.

Obviously, I had no idea where the Master Sword would be, so this wasn't a plan or a list of instructions I followed, it's just how things shook out. And I had a great time! I used Ship of Harkinian's randomizer, and there are some fantastic options that made the constant back-and-forth scouring of Hyrule more feasible. The most useful ones were unbreakable Deku Sticks (absolutely critical since I didn't find a sword for a while), changing Link's age with the Song of Time, Bunny Hood increasing speed like in Majora's Mask, and ageless items (allowing Young Link to use the Hookshot, for example). I was incredibly impressed with Ship of Harkinian though, and will definitely put more playthroughs into that, randomized or not.

wherever tifa lockhart and vincent valentine go, i'll be there

shitty in a very distinctly cool way. makes me miss when i'd walk into the arcade of a movie theater or w/e in the late 90s/early 00s and chuck a few of my parents' quarters away on something barely playable that looked rad as hell to my idiot child brain. i love how easy it is to cheese the AI with spamming specific attacks, the whole experience is just a flailing mess and it rules. makes me wanna boot up power stone or something, it's been like two decades since i've even thought about games like this, but i know my life is only enhanced by their existence

tifa's design here makes her look like an action figure for pervert otakus, but w/e i like spamming triangle and juggling the bad guy when they're close and spamming tifa hadouken when they're far away and winning. girls are so cool. i like the powers dog that has a red XIII alt and the animorph girl and the guy who shoots rockets out his leg. don't like the old guy with the annoying stick or the yoyo cop tho. i'll play the minigames and quest mode someday maybe, idk just something about blasting through an arcade mode that appeals more to me in these types of games

adding this to my "games that would fucking rule at slumber parties even though i'm turning 32 in a week and all the friends i could have slumber parties with are productive adults who live halfway across the country from me and also i have crippling student debt" list! shirtless sephiroth tho

You never really hear about PS3 homebrew, do you? After hacking my PS3, I found out why. It's a fucking pain in the arse.

If you know where to look, and join a private discord, you can find people modding old PS3 games. I almost found myself motivated to pursue this when I found out that fans have brought back MGS4's online mode, but that didn't feel like something I needed. Apparently, having the whole of Revolver and Magical Mystery Tour as Rock Band DLC was.

I guess it speaks to how earnestly I love The Beatles. They weren't just a bunch of guys who played good songs. When they emerged out of the early sixties, they were like a whole new kind of person. They broke the conventions of what an adult was supposed to be, and with their wit, intelligence and compassion, made all those guys look ridiculous. They made it okay not to live for the expectations of society or your family name, but your passions. Maybe you're not a fan of the band personally, and that's fine, but I think if you have any interest in pop media, fringe political thought or the embrace of foreign cultures, I think you owe some gratitude to The Beatles' influence. I can't imagine there would be a videogame industry without The Fabs. (This is beside the point, but did you know all those Atari 2600 cover artists were Yellow Submarine animators?)

Playing PS3 Rock Band in 2024 at all is a pain in the arse. If you didn't buy all the equipment 15 years ago, and held onto them for the following decade and a half, you have some very expensive eBay purchases ahead of you if you want to get in on this. I've still got a couple of the guitars, but thanks to multiple house moves, and weird, malicious flatmates who may not have appreciated my vocals on Debaser, those USB dongles were long gone. And it's not as if you can just buy any old dongle. With very few exceptions, they will only pair with their specific controller. And I have one of those fancy George Harrison Gretsch Duo Jets that you couldn't even buy in highstreet shops. I'm not willing to readily give up how much I spent on the dongle when it finally showed up for sale. Unless you're emulating (and seriously, if you're new to all this, please consider emulating), there's no new devices that are compatible with the PS3 games. Harmonix remedied this a little bit with the release of Rock Band 4, which supported full song exports for the previous games (which require DLC keys that are no longer purchasable) and are still playable on PS5 and Xbox Series consoles today, but one-off games like The Beatles Rock Band, which didn't allow you to transfer their highly-valued content to other titles, are still trapped on PS3, Wii and 360, with all their awkward "it made sense at the time" quirks.

So, hacking. I'm not confident I can recall the process well enough to provide even the most rudimentary of tutorials, but if you're going to hack your PS3, you'll need to be on a specific outdated firmware release, and it matters what kind of PS3 you have. You can utilise custom firmware on original PS3s and some slim models, but if, like me, you currently own a "superslim", you'll have more limited access to homebrew software. You can still do it though, with the Homebrew Enabler software ("PS3HEN"), but it's just a little more awkward. Each custom song needs to be transferred to the PS3 via FTP software (something that the installation guidelines only give a cursory mention of, and I hadn't used since college), you may need to make a direct Ethernet connection between your computer and PS3, and you'll need to keep every track in a special folder on your PC to use an executable to recompile the full tracklist each time you want to modify it. You also have to transfer over a special bit of software to make the game modifiable in the first place, and in the haze of everything I tried and retried, I really can't remember how I did this. This isn't a casual undertaking.

I'd argue Harmonix are one of the most under-valued development studios out there. Even in their smaller games, like Super Beat Sports, that nobody cares about, they're stuffed to the brim with extra modes and optional content. Rock Band was an insane logistical undertaking. Not only are thousands of songs accurately transcribed for multiple instruments and difficulty settings, but the on-stage bands are authentically animated, too. They made enormous bespoke electric drumkit controllers and sold them to American normies. By the peak of all their energy and ambition, on Rock Band 3, they were even including tracks for two backing vocalists, "Pro Guitar" mode (which would have you plug in either a midi-compatible electric guitar or a special, expensive plastic one with buttons on every string of every fret, to play the real guitar parts) and keytar, and barely anybody was playing the game like that. That doesn't even scratch the surface of how much of an undertaking it was to acquire the licences to an incredible range of pop and rock songs from a huge number of different publishing houses, and re-sell them. Of course, modders don't have to worry about the legal aspect, but it's just as ambitious for them to attempt reverse engineering the game to play home-made content and match the level of quality that Harmonix established.

There are amateurish custom Beatles Rock Band DLC tracks out there, but they're not the ones made by the core TBRB Customs devs. For the most part, you'd really struggle to tell them apart from the official Harmonix ones without prior knowledge. Sure, they have to lean on the handful of environments that were established for the original game, some of the surreal Pepperland visuals wear a little thin when applied to multiple songs, and in a post-Get Back world, Twickenham and Apple Studios seem like crucial Beatle locations, so it's a shame that they haven't been incorporated, but man, they managed to hack the Magical Mystery Tour bus into this. Would you have even the slightest idea how to make your PS3 games do that? They've been pretty clever, utilising the established assets to animate each new song, and the multiple costume changes during Glass Onion's callbacks are a particular treat.

TBRB Customs have set themselves the goal of creating custom DLC for every studio-recorded Beatles album, including the Past Masters singles collections and Giles Martin's remix album, Love. It's a lofty ambition, and the team have approached the to-do list with a completionist mindset. Frustratingly, this means that many of the most wanted tracks have been held off on for now, while we're stuck pissing around for the files for Sie Leibt Dich and Hold Me Tight. So far, there's been a huge number of tracks from With The Beatles and A Hard Day's Night, but no All I've Got To Do or You Can't Do That, and I personally find that extremely distressing. No Baby's In Black, no Hide Your Love Away, no Bad Boy, upsettingly few White Album songs - we're promised them in the future, but apparently, there were no new releases in the whole of 2023, and the team's recent focus has been on making previous tracks available for the Wii version of the game. I really want to believe they'll complete the tracklist, but I worry their energy may run dry when they see how many years they'll need to devote to the process.

There's also the fact that the modders seem to be young American Beatles fans. The kind who cried over 2023's Now & Then and think all of Paul McCartney's solo career is worth paying attention to. They don't have the same interest in the back catalogue as us slightly older fans who still think John was the big Beatle to like, despite the things he's alleged to have done after hearing of Nixon's reelection. They're insular and memey, and if you look into the more amateurish Anthology and Solo Career projects, you'll have to wade through some rake of Spongebob shit to get some comparatively rough content. It's very annoying that they've made a custom track for George's terrible White Album off-cut, Circles, while we're still waiting for Happiness is a Warm Gun, but I shouldn't upset the babies too much while they're working so diligently on my precious Rock Band DLC.

There's always a bit of a fear of custom Rock Band stuff. The most hardcore fans seem to be those who never got over Through the Fire and Flames, and not just guys who really like songs. While the focus in this DLC has been on matching Harmonix's precedent, there's still a wee bit of that Guitar Hero elite in here. We were never supposed to play the tape loop at the end of Strawberry Fields Forever, and I think you know this. Please take your job more seriously, unpaid hobbyists.

Many have approached the custom content as a thing strictly for emulators, and sensibly, it's the only way I can recommend a fan to go through this rigmarole. That strips out so much of Rock Band's appeal for me, though. For me, accessibility was such a draw to these games. I've played them at house parties with exchange students who really struggled with conversational English, but were delighted to see those falling note icons and become part of the band. If fellow Big Bad Beatleborgs are over, I can show them my special game that has twice as many songs as anybody else's copy, and we can delight in playing the whole of the Long Tall Sally EP. Nobody should go through the embarrassment of having to navigate a docked Steam Deck in front of another person. Now I've got everything set up, Beatles Rock Band is just as inviting to casuals as it was in 2009. I can grumble about minor details or the trajectory of the project, but really, it's so cool that any of this is possible.

If you at one point in your life ever decided to play a Gradius game, but you just didn’t think that there was enough Japan in the game to please your needs, then Parodius may be able to satiate your cravings, while making you break your hands in the process of trying to beat it for yourself. This was close to the experience I had when checking out the original game, which was basically your typical Gradius game that came with all the sweet powerups and the insane difficulty that you would expect, but right alongside that was a whole bunch of charming oddities, which range from the enemies and the music, all the way up to the bosses, which made me have a good time with the game as a whole, even if the gameplay was nothing to write home about. Nevertheless, I assume that that original game was pretty successful back when it first came out, because it would then spawn its own series of games that would be released right alongside Gradius, starting with the sequel to the game, Parodius! From Myth to Laughter.

Out of all of the games in the series, this was the one I was most familiar with before going into it, not because I had played it before, but I had seen a good chunk of the game in a video I made a long time ago, and while I hadn’t seen the full thing in action, I pretty much knew what I was getting into. You know, aside from the fact that this was just another Gradius game, so it was probably gonna play just like all the others, and WHADDYA KNOW, that is exactly what we get here. However, once again, the insanity of the visuals and designs of the stages, enemies, and bosses present make the game wonderful to play, and aside from one or two issues that I have with the game as a whole (which you could probably guess), it was a really good time from start to finish.

The story is fairly simple, yet weird for a shmup like this, where the Great Octopus threatens to destroy Earth and all of the inhabitants that live on it, so it is up to Tako, the octopus from the last game, to set out to stop this from happening, right alongside his pals, Vic Viper, TwinBee, and Pentarou, which is pretty much exactly what I expected from the premise of one of these games, and I wouldn’t change it any other way. The graphics are wonderful, not only being very vibrant and colorful for most of the stages, but also having plenty of detailed, goofy, and insane designs for many of the enemies and bosses, which are quite bewildering to see in the best way possible, the music is just as weird as the visuals, with most of the songs either being remixes of classic Gradius tunes (I will never get tired of this track, no matter what game it appears in), but also zany remixes of classical music as well, which is oddly fitting for this game, and I ended up loving a lot of the tracks, and the gameplay/control has basically been imprinted into your brain to where you will automatically know what to do right from the get go, but you can play as a penguin flying in space that can get other penguins following him to shoot projectiles, which automatically makes this game a masterpiece.

The game is a horizontally scrolling shmup, where you take control of one of the weird and wonderful characters I mentioned earlier, each with their own unique movesets and configurations for the weapons, go through plenty of different stages through many varied and odd environments, shoot down every single living thing that you see on screen, because more than likely, that thing will try to kill you in one way or another, gather plenty of different power ups that you can equip and upgrade whenever you need to, or find bells that you can shoot to get different kinds of power ups that will give you plenty of different, temporary advantages, and take on plenty of silly and absurd, yet challenging bosses that will keep you on your toes, unless you have the laser ability with four options following you, in which case you can just blaze right through them in most instances. If you have experience with any other Gradius game released before this and since, you will know what to expect from this game, but if you love this style of gameplay like me, and you don’t mind a dash of weirdness sprinkled in there, then you will feel right at home when you play this title.

Like with the previous game, the main thing that makes this game stand out from all of the others is the odd selection of… things that you will be seeing throughout your journey, which a newcomer like me would look at and wonder what drug he took before he started playing this, while others may be used to this type of imagery and be completely fine with it. Most of the enemies you encounter will consist of penguins, along with plenty of other random animals like fish, crabs, hornets, and whatever else the game decides to pull out of its ass, like clowns that will shoot at you and lips that will shoot their own teeth at you. That’s not even getting into the bosses either, which are without a doubt both the most horrifying and wonderful aspects of this game, where you will encounter such creatures as a flying pirate ship with a cat head on the front, and eagle dressed like Uncle Sam, a puffer fish that will inflate to cover almost the entire screen while you shoot at it, a random sumo wrestler, and a giant naked woman covering herself with a sheet while deploying babies in bubbles to kill you. I can only imagine that this is all relatively tame compared to what other games in the series probably throw at the player, and I would question why the hell any of this is here, but at this point, I have just decided to accept the madness and ride along with it, and I end up having a lot of fun with that mindset.

Obviously, one of the things that holds this game back is that it is a Gradius game, so it does practically nothing to change up the gameplay or innovate on the genre as a whole, but that doesn’t matter so much to me in this case, given how fun the gameplay can still be, and how satisfying it us to fully upgrade yourself to where you can start to decimate everything around you. However, that in itself is a little hard to do, due to this game’s difficulty, because HOLY FUCK, they aren’t pulling punches this time around. I know, I know, I always say these games are hard, and that is never gonna change anytime soon, but I swear, this might just be the hardest Gradius game I have played so far. You need to have the reflexes of a god or the ability to slow down time in order to avoid some of the shit this game throws at you, and while you can get pretty lucky at some points, it almost never tones the difficulty down whatsoever, making it so that I died hundreds of times before I was able to finish it off. I have never seen so many dead penguins in one place before, and now that I have, I can say with great certainty that I don’t feel bad about killing that giant space octopus whatsoever.

Overall, despite a lack of change and the difficulty still managing to surprise me with just how unforgiving it can be, this is still yet another solid entry in this sub-series and franchise as a whole, providing the same fun and addicting experience that fans have come to love with this series, while also still providing enough weird and insane elements to where you wanna see it all out just to know what else the game will pull out of its ass by the end. I would definitely recommend it for fans of the Gradius series as a whole, as well as those who are big fans of other shmups or cute ‘em ups, because while this may not be as crazy or weird as others out there, it still managed to make me laugh and smile for most of the journey, and I’m sure the same can apply to many others as well. Now, if you excuse me, I need to go stare at the ceiling for like a good hour or so, just so that I can get all of the insanity out of my mind. Gotta be well-rested and prepared for the next time I try to play one of these games, y’know.

Game #551

For being pretty much the only wrestling game they would ever make, Capcom did a pretty great job with what we got from Saturday Night Slam Masters, providing plenty of possibilities for fights against many formidable opponents, fun moves to pull off, seamlessly implementing some fighter mechanics to make it more engaging, and having the feeling of being a proper wrestling game with the inclusion of items to use and intros for each individual character at the start of a match. The game was really good all around, and it would’ve been cool to see a proper followup to it at some point, expanding on the characters’ movesets, the type of rings you could enter, and possibly raising the stakes with new characters and story elements introduced…………… that would not happen though, and instead, we would get Ring of Destruction: Slam Masters II.

Despite being a wrestling game at its core, the original Slam Masters game did implement enough fighting game elements to where, when the time came to develop a sequel, I guess Capcom was just nervously twitching around, like a drug addict who needed their fix, and just exclaimed to themselves “FUCK IT!”. Thus, what we got out of this sequel was just your typical Capcom fighting game, still being themed around wrestlers and containing several wrestling techniques, while focusing on the one-and-one aspect above all else. That kinda sucks, but at the same time, this was a Capcom fighter from the mid-90s, and thus, it turned out to be pretty damn good, not quite on the same level as some of their other releases around the time, but still great enough to where anyone could go in and have a great time battling it out with friends.

The graphics are very similar to that of the original game, still being lively, having wonderful designs for all the characters and stages, while also having plenty of over-the-top animations for all of them, which is great to see, the music is still effective in getting you in the mood to perform a piledriver on any poor fool that dares to challenge you, and plenty of the tracks are great to listen to whenever they pop up, the control is greatly improved upon here, feeling a lot more smooth and responsive, which makes sense given the company is more suited to this genre, and the gameplay is… exactly like any other one-on-one Capcom fighter, so you know pretty much what you are going to get out of a game like this.

The game is a 2D fighting game, where you take control of one of the ten fighters from the original game, as well as any of the newcomers introduced here, or if you are me, you still just pick Mike Haggar anyway above anyone else, take on plenty of opponents in rings from all across the world, throw out plenty of punches, kicks, and special moves to deplete your opponents’ two health bars down to nothing, perform several wrestling moves during the fights just to remind you that this is supposed to be a wrestling series, and bask in your glorious victory as you prove to everyone else that you are the slammiest master of slam masters. Any Capcom fighting veteran would be able to jump into this with no problems, and for those who were big fans of the original game, while this is quite different from that previous title, you should be able to adjust to this new style pretty quickly and have a great time with it all the same.

While it is a fighting game at its core, the game still manages to keep the wrestling motif front and center, with all the characters being wrestlers of some kind, all of the fights taking place inside of a ring, and with the many different wrestling moves, throws, and techniques that you can pull off. It isn’t much compared to what you could do in the previous game, but hey, it is still there, and they can help change up the tide of a fight and add a little pizzazz into your typical match. Not only that, but unlike the original game, the characters in this game actual have some notable differences between each other, especially with some of the newcomers. For example, there is Rip Saber, a wrestler who is rocking a military theme, complete with military maneuvers and throwing grenades as part of their moveset, and then there is also The Wraith, who is pretty much a zombie-grim-reaper-wrestler-thing, with plenty of spooky techniques to accompany him. It is a little ridiculous when you compare it to the previous game, but since it all takes place in the Street Fighter universe, it all makes complete sense to me.

Despite all of that though, at the end of the day, this is still yet another Capcom 2D fighter, and it plays exactly like you have seen plenty of times before. It still manages to be fast and fun, especially with some friends to fight with, but there isn’t anything else to make this stand out or be more preferable from other options like Street Fighter II or its many, MANY different variations. Not to mention, if you were a die-hard fan of the original game, like it was one of your favorites of all time, then you definitely aren’t gonna like this game. Yeah, it still does have the wrestling theme and several of the moves, but it is a fighting game more than anything else, so it will probably be pretty disappointing for those hardcore wrestling fanatics.

Overall, despite not doing anything too special and completely abandoning the gameplay of the previous title, Ring of Destruction still lives up as a pretty good fighter, one that has plenty of fun with the wrestling motif while still providing the fun, fast-paced and addicting nature that you would find in any of Capcom’s other fighters from around that point. I would recommend it for those who are big fans of Capcom’s other fighters, as well as those who just need another thing to play with friends, because while it doesn’t stand on its own like the original game, you could certainly do a lot worse then what we got here. Too bad though that, after this game, we would never get another Slam Masters game again, and the series would forever be thrown into the realms of obscurity. But hey, the original game would at least get plenty of re-releases overtime………….. while this one would forever be stuck in the arcades. Way to go, guys.

Game #546

The original Athena game was, without a doubt, the absolute worst game that I had ever played from SNK so far. I could admire some things that it tried doing, such as having plenty of neat items and upgrades to find that encouraged exploration, as well as the fact that the game didn’t take itself too seriously given the story, but all of that couldn’t distract me from how horribly the game controlled, how relentless it was right from the start, how awkward it felt to do anything aside from walking to the right, and giving you little chance to do anything to defend yourself from the start before you are ambushed by all the enemies that are thrown at you. I don’t understand how anyone could release a game like that and say it was good and ready to go back in the day, or even how they thought that following the game up with a sequel would be a good idea, but nonetheless, we got one just one year later in the form of Psycho Soldier.

Naturally, I wasn’t looking forward to checking out this game whatsoever. The original game had already left such a bad taste in my mouth after the short time I had experienced with it, and given SNK’s pattern with sequels, I assumed this was gonna change practically nothing about the formula, and it would end up being yet another complete mess of a game. However, in the biggest plot twist of the 20th century, Psycho Soldier actually turned out to be a MASSIVE improvement over the original game in just about every way. I wouldn’t say that it is anything more than just simply being good, and it also has its fair share of issues that did get in the way of how much fun I was having, but needless to say, I would choose to play this game over the original Athena title any day of the week.

The story is a bit more generic than that of the previous game, where suddenly out of nowhere, evil creatures from the land of Shiguma appear on Earth, Japan specifically, and start terrorizing its many citizens and destroying everything in sight, so it is up to Athena Asamiya, a descendent of the Athena from the previous game, to team up with her friend Sie Kensou to take out the villainous scourge using their psychic powers, which is a basic enough set up, and it works well enough for what this game is. The graphics are very similar to that of the original game, but it does look a lot more appealing, both in terms of the environments you travel through and the designs of the characters, enemies, and bosses, the music is good, having plenty of enjoyable tracks, and even one that has someone singing what I can only assume is the theme song of the game… with the singing being incredibly compressed and amateur as shit, but hey, A for effort I guess, the control is much better here, with you having plenty of control over what you are doing and all of your actions feeling just right, and the gameplay is also a major improvement, mixing things up to where it isn’t as ambitious as its predecessor, but this style is executed much better here, which I prefer as a whole.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of either Athena or Sie, go through a set of six very similar stages through several different environments, jump in-between each lane and take out the many enemies that you will find along your journey to prevent them from getting an upper hand on you, get plenty of different power ups, weapons, and special items to help you out along your journey, and take on several different bosses or enemy gauntlets that range from being relatively manageable to the exact kind of difficulty that you would expect from an arcade game. In most aspects, it is your typical arcade platformer, but that is a step up from the last game, which was an abnormal arcade platformer, so I will take it at this point.

If I were to make any comparison of this game to something I have already reviewed in the past, I would say that it is a more flashy version of SonSon from Capcom. The game will constantly be scrolling from left to right, and you will need to hop up and down between four different rows to not only take out enemies, but also to get the various different power ups in the game. This definitely isn’t the kind of platformer I like to play, but for the most part, this kind of approach works, and you can cover a lot of ground in these levels before the screen forcibly pushes you to your next destination. In addition, the weapons and power ups that you get while playing this game are pretty fun to mess around with. From the start, you are equipped with a lightning laser shot that can be upgraded to get bigger and do more damage, as well as these spinning orbs that will surround you whenever you are on the ground. Not only do these act as a shield from incoming projectiles, which really helps in plenty of cases, but you can also throw them at enemies to do more damage and to break blocks quicker, making some sections a breeze when you are caught in a jiff.

In terms of actual new weapons that you can get, the sword makes a return from the previous game, and it is a lot more useful this time, because not only can you use it to slash your way through enemies, but it also helps break a lot of the bricks in the level much faster, allowing you to find more items and to get a move on in the stage. But none of that compares to the best power up that you can get in the whole game, where if your energy bar is full and you find a big green egg in the level, you can turn into a whole ass phoenix, able to fly all around the stage and set your enemies ablaze with your fire breath. Unfortunately, this form is temporary, as it does go away upon beating the stage you are currently in, or if you get hit too many times, but it is still fun to just decimate everything in your way with this transformation.

Naturally though, since this is an Athena game we are talking about here, it has several issues that I was not that big of a fan of. Arcade syndrome is present in this title, and while things start out pretty smoothly, and you can build up plenty of support to protect yourself, by the last couple of levels, there will be enemies and projectiles flying around everywhere at you, to where it feels impossible to beat the game without at least a couple of credits on stand by, which does kinda suck. That’s not the only aspect of difficulty in this game though, as while the scrolling of the stage is slow enough to where you won’t feel like you constantly have to hold down the right stick to not die, there can be plenty of instances where you will get ambushed by an enemy or so in a corner, and due to the fact the screen is constantly moving, you have no choice but to die just to get a move on, and that shit always blows, no matter what kind of game it comes from.

And finally, while there are plenty of power ups that do help you out and make you stronger, there are also several power downs, taking away whatever you got for yourself and leaving you extremely vulnerable. There will be these red beams with skulls on them that will drain all of the energy from your meter, not only making you less stronger, but also giving you very little chance to transform into your phoenix form or get better equipment, which especially sucks when you don’t see it coming until it is too late. That doesn’t even compare to the worst power down, the golden skull, which upon contact takes away EVERYTHING from your arsenal. Your sword, your orbs, your upgrades, all of it: gone. It is absolutely painful to run into one of these, especially in some instances where, again, you don’t see it coming until it is too late, and you end up feeling like a chump as a result.

Overall, despite the difficulty in certain areas, the power downs, and the scrolling getting in the way of your enjoyment at times, Psycho Soldier was still a good game that I am glad that I checked out, excelling in every area that Athena fumbled in through several means, and providing you with a fun and engaging time that I would say is worth checking out for a good while or so before moving onto something else. I would recommend it not only for those who liked the original Athena, but also for those who HATED that game as well, because while this isn’t a masterpiece by any means, it does still manage to be more competent and enjoyable then that piece of shit ever managed to be. It’s too bad though that, after this game, we would never see any hint of a third game in the Athena series ever again………….. until 12 years later, that is. Because I guess the demand for another one of these games was just too high at that point, clearly.

Game #545