Lovely Planet with a porn addiction. An "FPS with cards that you can discard" paints Neon White as a post-doom-(2016)-er shooter without the animation budget but it truly fails to describe the most genius part of the equation; all of the discards are movement abilities.

Going fast is fun. Death, Taxes and Preservation of Momentum. Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing gets a shotgun, speedy thing turns into a fireball and speedy thing flies into an enemy/door/off-the-side-of-the-map. Give a man seemingly unlimited movement options and he will try to beat his high score for a lifetime.

And you think Neon White would Godspeed the shark at some point but no, the game folds in on itself and emerges as a new piece of origami, with a decidedly familiar looking blue rocket launcher card tucked into the telefragging folds.

The seemingly poor reception to the narrative has worked in the games favour for a player like me who felt contractually obligated to watch Neon Genesis Evangelion at some point in their life. The tropes are sincere, the internet humour is still fresh and the characters are only slightly less horny than they first appear.