StarCorridor
2017
2016
2014
2014
2016
Ubisoft at its Ubisoft-iest with ridiculously long loading screens, a near broken online lobby system, and AIs that always fucking win. And of course you get the Ubisoft experience of them cramming their premium services down your throat and being able to do barely anything without it. The flash Uno games on sketchy websites are better than this.
2017
I remember when I first played the console version of Ape Escape, I wish I could jump with X instead of pushing up on the right analog stick. Now that I've gotten so used to them in both 1 and 2, reverting to a new inferior control scheme massively hinders the enjoyability here. Play the console version on PS1, it plays so much smoother.
2000
In the late 90s, the original four members of Kiss reformed after years away from their signature facepaint. Their mission was to seemingly take over pop culture, remind everybody Kiss is still a thing, and make everything ten times lamer. They did it in WCW with a character called the Kiss Demon, they had a bad comic book series, now there's this stinker of game, which wildly succeeds if the goal is to ultimately make you as bitter as Gene Simmons is. These PS1 pinball games all blend together after a while - why not just play an actual pinball machine???
Ever ambitious, I instantly decided I wanted to defeat the almighty beast of karaoke, Take on Me by a-ha. What followed was an abysmal performance matched only by how butt ugly my very 2000s character models were. This is fun for a party, but proceed with caution, this game will test your vocal cords like no other!
2009
One of my least favorite kinds of games are those with task after task, errand after errand, with little to no story to keep you captivated. It's like somebody took the gameplay of Dead Island with the vibe of Fallout or Mad Max, and it provides for a mad boring experience. I've heard the sequels are much better but Borderlands 1 was underwhelming, and I tapped out midway through.