new fursona pfp who this

there will be SPOILERS xoxo

unlike everyone who played that game I left my first ever playthrough of bioshock infinite with a really positive opinion sure it wasnt as good as the original duology but it was a nice addition to the series nonetheless who am I to judge

so leaving that experience wanting more im happy to see that this dlc is coming to my rescue

while I completely lost the grip on the lore of this series as soon as they introduced the multiverse albeit not as bad as the comically unbearable multiverse infodump that gets thrown in the latest marvel movies (i hate marvel so i may also be biased to say that their iteration of the multiverse sucks ass) but that being said it was a good excuse to go back to the roots of the series

we're back in the shoes of former protagonist booker dewitt still an investigative type of guy and this time elizabeth from another dimension and way series asks you a favor regarding a missing girl and youre back to being a super dooper duo

booker is more floaty headed due to him being a mish mash of multiverse version of himself and elizabeth got emotionally scarred again and again through her different realities so they make a really cool pair of mentally ill people

and this time we are back to the basics back to rapture

I wont lie seeing rapture again made me kind of teary eyed and seeing rapture in its former glory with shops and machinery and a lot of ocean and people normally living in it brimming with life obviously considering this is also technologically ahead of bioshock 1 they could put a lot more details in the city and a lot more character in the daily lives of the people of rapture adding even more to the lore of bioshock 1

sure the main focus of the game is still booker and his mentally unstable thought processes and particularly his troubled relationship with elizabeth but rapture will always take the cake for me as much as fictional cities go you can't deny rapture is one of the most intriguing and exciting environments to explore even now

while this installment probably just plants the basics for the next episode it sure is a damn good time to see my babies back again and since bioshock infinite defo has a really solid gameplay already it wasn't a big deal adding some more 2 - 3 hours of story beats for me

there's some gameplay changes here and there and they also adapt to bioshock 1 and 2 environment flawlessly the circus shop also sells weapons and the bottle is not vigor anymore but its obviously eve and THE WEAPON WHEEL IS BACK UGHHHH I hated only bringing 2 weapons so yeah nice addition

as for the story flow its very reminiscent of bioshock 1 in the fact that its basically fetch quest after fetch quest with some character interactions here and there and pauses to listen to the usual audio files but that's also the reason why bioshock gameplay is so fucking iconic so im not gonna complain about that

definitely the story is just gonna get deeper into the lore aspect when we get to episode 2 but what we have here is already a great dlc for the base game and rapture is the main reason I love this fictional city so fucking much

im absolutely confused at how controversial this game is on here since I loved most of the aspects that permeates this entry in the bioshock series

sure it's not the original duology or minervas den but it took the series in an interesting new direction and the argument about the "both sides are bad" on racial discourse is pretty wack i can say that at least and listening to a lot of N word in this game made me incredibly anxious but yknow since its trying to drive home the racism thing it's a good compromise and the fact that I felt really self conscious about what i was hearing was probably enhancing the wrongness of the entire thing . albeit they still spit in their faces and went ok but what if everyone was wrong ? which is a brave and controversial way of developing the whole political affair but I'm also a white guy so I dont really have any right to say much about this so yeah moving on

bioshock infinite is surely a delight in most aspects of the game and particularly enough the worldbuilding of columbia is one of the greatest parts of the game

as it happened with bioshock 1 and the introduction of rapture this is an entirely new setting that actually takes place in the clouds and is an entire new city compared to the previous one and that means an entire new story

columbia doesn't have that tight of a background and descriptions here and there to make it a worthy adversary of the great rapture but damn it looks fucking good

all my fans know im a sucker for floating islands and the fact that they are not only flying islands but also have a steam punk flare set in the 10s this game really has some of the greatest setting for a civil war type of story and absolutely suck a fun fucking way to traverse the city flying around with the hookshot using elevators or soaring airships to connect the different discrictd of columbia

every single part of the city has a really specific vibe to it and while the sound design this time didn't really enhance the whole place it sure is still a delight to get to know an entire new town with shops and details and a lot of characters around since this time its actually not a city already in decay

so yeah columbia is dope

before going into the story i gotta say that the gameplay is pretty strong and definitely highlight of the entire series FOR ME AT LEAST but let's actually say some things first

no this is not my favorite FPS mechanic in the series only having 2 weapons really adds nothing to the battleflow and most of the plasmids here (OR VIGORS I GUESS) are kind of useless I only ended up using the electro trap the fire bomb and DAMN do the fucking crows fuck ass they're probably the best ability in the game the fuck so yeah the health and adam is nerfed but you actually get a new electromagnetic shield or whatever but this can actually be countered with the fact that elizabeth will be replenishing you with stuff all the time

that being said the whole gameplay loop is still the same story beat - explore and get resources - fight weird guys and thats mostly left untouched

enemies are less memorable I gotta say but nothing can beat the fucking big daddy and littl3 sisters cmon that's peaaaaaak character design

I do love the songbird a lot he's my little meow meow I love him so fucking much

story wise it's still a great one booker is way more charismatic a character than the one in the first or second game and thats mostly because he can fucking talk yknow and the Italian voice actor made me pretty horny im so sorry sometimes italian voice actors have rights every time he talked I wet my pants this needed to be said

sure he's not like the deepest character in the story because elizabeth is fucking there and WE'LL GET IT he's strong as fuck (horny face) can beat people with his bare hands (horny face) and can probably fuck good (horny face) and yeah whatever he's also some degree of traumatised or shit I can't talk about him yet because it can get into spoiler territory

elizabeth is a delight mindfully written and its incredible to see her grow from a rapunzel ripoff (it is actually kind of weird that she seems like a snow white after being incarcerated for 20 years or something but since she doesn't know the injustices of the world I can give her that) to a troubled and fierce dominatrix after watching the world going fucking chaos and how actually wicked the human mind can be

sure it's kind of cliche and shut but I really enjoyed her as a character and most of all her interactions with booker even though kind of weird like its me and the bestie and then I hate that bitch booker and then again me and the bestie so yeah she's troubled I already said that

so talking story SPOILER TERRITORY the fact that the civil war stuff actually is the backdrop for a tale of multiverse and different versions of columbia was starting to get pretty confusing pretty fast and I'm sure I didn't get all the facets of that part of the plot since it also progressively gets weirder and weirder like elizabeth is actually the daughter of the guy and then no its actually not and then boom plottwist it's actually the daughter of the guy but in another dimension where booker actually becomes the priest and then booker kills the priest and then the elizabeths kill the booker to kill the priest listen it gets fucked

now even though it becomes convoluted real fast I really enjoyed this development since they were always teasing this kind of plotline since elizabeth First shows you how she can "create" new dimensions and bring stuff from those dimensions to the current one and shit

it's probably way easier than it actually pretends to be since it's just an entire loop that keeps repeating until booker decides to kill himself so that the loop stops and you get teased with an ending that is like "ok but is anna/elizabeth ACTUALLY alive in this dimension so that they can live happily together" and the game just ends

the whole finale is arguably pretty chaotic but cinematic as shit and when you randomly go back to rapture I passed my pants this cannot be real leave me alone

so yeah umh I'm sorry I really enjoyed this game I couldn't hate it even though this site was tricking me into hating it but THATS MY OPINIOOOOOON maybe at one point I'll realise this game is actually shit but that's on me don't touch me

yknow what I'm pretty excited for burial at sea and since this game takes place in 1912something and bioshock 1 takes place in 1958something and after the rapture tease in the finale of the game I'm so fucking ready for this one I want more of booker and elizabeth action

also when you think that they're dad and daughter it makes sense that they didn't get into romance territory it would make everything crumble even though they both didn't know their past ok actually yknow what I wont even get into this topic

so yeah good game cope and seethe

at one point after finishing the game I realized they could never get to Paris and just started crying why did this game half assed convoluted story made me emotional im sorry

there's this short novel written by Fredric Brown in 1954 called Answer and its about some researchers trying to find the answer to an ever present question in the history of humanity: is there a god ?

for this purpose these scientists begin to assemble a super fucking computer thats gonna suck so much of the world's electricity just so that it could study the entirety of the universe to give a proper answer to humans

and the thing that it says after booting it up is "yes now there is a god"

apart from leaving an everlasting impression on me as a short story made in a time when technology wasn't as advanced as we see today this was the very first thing that I thought when unraveling the story of minervas den

set some years apart from the main entries its about another fucking big daddy and another fucking rapture political issue but this time its spooky sci fi territory now with the introduction of a machine called the thinker and this incredibly advanced calculator can somehow predict stuff and do shit actually idk but it has some fanatics around so you go the thinker

the game is the same but with some different weapons or plasmids the laser thing is fucking fun and the magnetic field is an interesting addition and also the fact that the electro plasmid comes later into the game actually made me recalibrate the electro + drill combo spam rapture is still rapture the protag is still a big daddy it sure is a DLC

the story aspect though was interesting not only for the thinker worldbuilding aspect but also the main story with some incredible plot twist and use of the medium and an emotional conclusion to this original duology

goated dlc might I say

i was not expecting to like bioshock 2 as much as bioshock and I wasn't even expecting to like this one even more

bioshock 1 was an interesting experience but yknow for me it has some ups and downs particularly in the story segments and this one felt way more straightforward and interesting for me at least

since youre already gonna start the game already knowing the whole rapture setting youre gonna get introduced as soon as possible to the story that you're gonna follow for the entirety of the game instead of slowly discovering the background of the protagonist the objective is clear and the interactions are as direct as ever

you know the usual bioshock gist already and this is basically just the base bioshock gameplay with the big daddy flare youre gonna have some "diverse" weaponry to reflect the new shoes youre gonna wear and youre gonna meet with the very best weapon of the game in the first 10 minutes: the drill . when I tell you that I used the drill for like 80% of the fights I'm not gonna lie like most of the bioshock gameplay is too chaotic to carefully aiming and strategise and shit I CANT do that I'm not that good or that clever so most of the time I resorted to the good old lightning + drill and it actually worked wonders for me understandably enough

most of the little gameplay aspects were improved greatly the battle and shooting is tighter than its predecessor but maybe that's just me getting used to the game altogether lemme know the hacking segments got reworked entirely thank GOD since they absolutely sucked in the first game and this time even though they can be a little bit tricky sometimes they are at least more challenging and interesting than doing some piping puzzles here and there

apart from this blatant difference most of the game feels as deserving of the title 2 as possible since youre gonna do the exact same things as the first game go around do some "get this item" quests and fight some people on your way there

something that actually worried me was the new little sisters mechanics since youre now gonna have to defend them and not only just suck them up and I was like "FUCK DEFENDING MISSIONS ARE GONna BE A PAIN" but actually ? the sis didn't really give me that much of a problem I just did my own thing opening asses up and sometimes she would get in danger but I never got into a game over or something I don't even know what happens if you leave her in the hands of the monsters so whatever

that being said yeah the game is pretty much the same weapons and plasmids here and there are basically there and the environments and enemies are pretty much the same so nothing of note rapture is still a fucking highlight in videogame worldbuilding and the new addition of big sisters is actually such a welcome one I fucking love the gals and the new spider guys are freaky as hell they look like slenderman am I the only one

so yeah thats the same now what i wasn't expecting to love as much as I did was the story its so so so simple and so emotional at the same time it sure has some weird pacing and twists here and there but in general the machine x human affection story really makes me feel good like it's one of my fave tropes ever so of course it was gonna happen

lamb as a main villain is way weaker than ryan but he cannot be beaten in any way so it was alright as a character with somehow mixed morals and and her fucking obsession with eleanor gets tiring real quick but yknow its the magic of the plot

SPOILER TERRITORY when you rescue eleanor i was hyped up to see her fuck some baddies up in the big sister suit and then she goes call me with a plasmid never had my coitus interrupted like this ever in my life deadass

but yeah it's still my fave section of the game with some dad x daughter action and somehow the finale made me emotional for no reason but yeah also saved all the sisters because I love these babies

then again the story isn't the most groundbreaking thing ever and didn't have that many plot twists as the story of the first installment but somehow I loved this aspect idk maybe im crazy

so yeah I love this series apparently

when you play as the little sister and you see rapture as a greek like environment with white veils purity joy all around and then you get flashes of the real rapture with death and blood everywhere and the fucking DEAD GUYS that look like ANGELS ???? girl that shit spooky as fuck

also crashed less times than bioshock 1 remastered thank fucking god

they got me again im back on the banban shipwreck

as much as i hated the first game i cannot lie and say that i wasnt particularly interested in what fucking garbage they were gonna release after that groundbreaking debut and unbelievably enough its still fucking bad who wouldve thought

the dumb environmental puzzles are back the absolutely jaw droppingly bad art direction is back the environment are as sterile as ever the stupid and tensionless chasing sequences are back basically everything good is back hahahahaha i want to kms

that being said this is longer than the first game and maybe even more hollow incredibly enough it features some of the worst voice acting ive ever heard and in general i hate english voice acting so imagine making it absolutely disgustingly one note and emotionless the voice actors feel like they were forced in this project and they want nothing to do with this and im pretty sure thats what happened like imagine wanting your name in this games credit i would honestly sue

the classroom segment is supposed to be funny but it didnt even made me chuckle for how stupid this kind of humor can be even for me that i laugh at the monkey saying stinky poopy 100 times like my entire humor is broken and you couldnt even make me smile a single time gworl youre doing something wrong

i have no idea if this is supposed to be genuine effort or an absolute troll work but im pretty sure everyone can agree that this is devoid of any positives the puzzles even became worse than the first game and the scares are as cheap as they can get and the climactic final chase is honestly so fucking funny for how bad it is literally if you put a mindless jumpscare youre gonna get a cult following because people apparently get scared easily as shit and they couldnt even take this element from FNAF like this is textbook horror cashgrab elements and you failed

so whatever this is the last one every single part of me lost any curiosity to explore how bad this series can get and the next lore analysis on how actually banban is a capitalistic depiction of a head of state in a neo f4scist ruled dystopian world im gonna cut my internet subscription forever and go live in a bungalow in the arashiyama sagano bamboo forest forever dont talk to me

plus its still optimised like shit get a programming degree or something

me and bioshock go way way back i have tried to play this game countless times in my life but famously enough this remaster is the most garbage piece of trash ive ever encountered in my life and i cannot overstate how incredibly unplayable this game is on PC you got random crashes glitches everywhere gamebreaking bugs that make you lose hours and hours of progress and whatever the fucking hell and all this just for some new shiny textures that SUCK ASS

that aside . beautiful game

bioshock needs no presentation you know what this is and you know everyone loves it so im not gonna just talk about this game profusely . i will but youre on thin fucking ice bitch since the remastered should get a fucking 0 by how terrible it is but whatever

i want to say that rapture is one of the most incredible locations in gaming history as a whole theres so much nuance moral and socio political intrigue psychological implications on both the citizens and the heads of state making this some of the most immersive worldbuilding ive ever experienced the fact that this is a whole city under the city that goes absolute chaos due to the unlimited access to drug like biological substances that make you a walking DNA mutation and that has so many consequences to the psyche of the people in this city to the interactions they have with their selves and day to day life to the point that rapture turns into a mess with freaks roaming through it trying to kill everyone for just a little bit of adam

im in love with rapture it makes for such an intoxicating horror themed backdrop to the main story of the game and also is such an incredible sight in general it feels like going to the oceanographic thing stuff whats the name ok anyway

now the main story is kind of ok i mean i didnt actually like it as much as the worldbuilding the whole atlas thing if you know you know didnt really hit that much for me as much as i wanted to even tho it made for a decently good climax in the end and the different plot twists about the protagonist and the consequent implications are just something that i accepted passively it didnt really made me scream or anything and in general the story progression has some weird pacing due to the game being plagued by some item quests that make me go absolutely fucking crazy because they break the already small tension this game creates throughout like its a really good reason for some exploring but apart from that i was miserable that being said its not really the most groundbreaking story ever its serviceable and makes for some unmatched vibes in the 60s atlantis

again the setting as a 60s world with some incredible biotechnological advancement that is so fucking good and listening to the audio files scattered around was actually more fun sometimes than the main quest since theyre gonna give more nuances to the world of rapture and make for some really interesting side stories that add a lot to the journey

this is also seen in the art direction that has some incredible interiors in different parts of rapture that look like a flourishing city in ruin since you have everything like shops bars red districts theaters and even houses it feels like ruins and its even made more atrocious when you dive deeper into the core of rapture and the only thing youre gonna see is death lava and machinery that lets you see how wicked the reality of this chaotic town was and its just UGHHHHHH its both haunting and beautiful like every single room in rapture is detailed to hell and back and you can see a lot of life everywhere and the juxtaposition with all the ultra recombined people who are walking biohazards is such a fun experience

last but not least the gameplay is super exhilarating theres not a single moment where i wasnt having fun with using both plasmids and weapons and the whole personalization behind this game is honestly incredible im not a huge FPS guy but the latest one ive played is doom eternal so you know this was clunky as shit and yknow i also feel like it was janky even when it was released but since the main focus of the gameplay isnt the precision shooting but just getting in the fight and using everything in your arsenal to fuck these bitches up is fine the plasmids are super fun and customizable with all the upgrades and shit and the weapons are also pretty fun even though i either had zero ammo or i was shitting them from my ass which is weird and in general i feel like the whole going around opening every single fucking drawer and getting your hands into the corpses pants is pretty fucking fun yknow then you have the other passive plasmids liike this game is fun yall just go play it its iconic and really good and has a lot of emotional dread

the little girls thing is kinda weird because its not that much of an ethical choice as i wanted to its like do you want to get 100 adam or 80 adam and sometimes a little gift and i chose the second one and got the perfect ending and am i the only one who felt that ending was kinda weird or am i delulu

fuck the hacking minigame jesus all my homies hate that shit

"Now, go home, Link. Regain your lost time! Home... where you are supposed to be... the way you are supposed to be…"

a statement

nothing ever came close and will ever come close to the absolute might that this game means to the video game genre as a whole and to an entire generation of people playing ocarina of time at the end of the last millennium in 1998 you could say that video game as a media peaked here theres legit something magical about this game an aura of sacredness and monumentality that it feels weird to talk about it like this tackling this game isnt easy but not for the game in itself but for what it means to everyone who played it and what it meant to people who worked on it and theres nothing I could ever say that hasn't already been said times and times again but I'm gonna be the next guy in the queue of people who want to praise this game to heaven stay tuned

sexy mutyumu recommended this to me as part of this list thanks dude

ocarina of time is a game that doesn't need any kind of presentation whatsoever and I'm not gonna sugar-coat anything since you already know its fucking good I won't be daddling in weird deets just so you know i played the original n64 one but i never finished it so im glad this sudden zelda marathon made me realise what a fucking fool i am yknow

first and foremost I'd like to talk about the remake aspect bitch this is basically one of the most safe remake of all times and really understands the source material to a tee I know for sure the grezzo team were shitting their fucking pants because they just opened pandoras box and whatever they did to diverge from the original game wouldve been horridly received so they made the right decision to just give it a modern overhaul and leave it almost untouched just adding some QoL and tweaks to famously despicable parts of the game but apart from that the journey is mostly the same

now i really love the new graphics theyre absolutely beautiful and really complement the original art style adding just the perfect amount of spice here and there link is super cute both in the baby and adult model every single character of the game is brimming with details and personality beloved places across hyrule got completely modernised with those delicious “HD” textures and enemies and bosses are as intimidating as ever really this art direction takes the cake for me it leaves the original feel untouched and thats probably what also happened with the ost . the songs are recreated entirely but no single note or instrument has been changed because lets be real the music of the original was already perfect it had not fucking need to be changed

everything of this version is perfect BUT im gonna nitpick here and no its not about the sheikah stones because i used them when i needed and no its not about the 360 camera being absent from this game unlike majoras mask 3d but i absolutely despise the fact that they used the touch pad for most of the menu and item management

now i wont lie i emulated the shit out of this game and that means that every single time i had to use a touch prompt i had to use the fucking mouse and completely destroy my pace while playing with the controller like why would you do that im not gonna complain that much because this is not a game breaker but the real issue to me is why the fuck would you put touch screen as the ONLY OPTION for the remake of a game that DIDNT HAVE IT like why i dont understand and also i have no idea if theres somewhere a patch that makes you use some buttons instead of the touch screen but i couldnt find it so yeah it is gonna be a problem for me that being said this game is fucking perfect lets go

ocarina of time is one of the few games that will absolutely make my heart heavy as soon as i listen to the title screen ost theres such a sense of peace nostalgia joy EVERY SINGLE EMOTION was POURED into this music i have no idea in my ignorance who composed the music for this game but i hope you have or had everything you want or wanted from your life (update i looked it up its koji kondo everythings fine I know the guy) this is such a generational masterpiece when you just boot this game up it HITS link and epona ride across the fields of hyrule with incredible scenography for the time heavy focus on the nature that encapsulates this game and BOOM title screen

if you make a title screen that leaves such a big impact you will be remembered for better or for worse games like kingdom hearts and persona 3 fes made such an incredible impact on me JUST with their title screen now tell me if you ever booted up kingdom hearts and listened to dearly beloved or persona 3 fes and listened to brand new days the beginning and havent started to get all emotional and teary eyed at second 0.3 im not even joking

if i were alive in 1998 and had played this game for the very first time i wouldve never NEVER forgotten this title screen this is absolutely insane compared to the standards of videogames at the time and even now that we have so many different genres franchises games spinoffs remakes everything that can be played with a controller im not gonna joke theres nothing that hits AS hard as this title screen

some of you may know me as the absolute number 1 fan of twilight princess im gonna defend that game always forever until the day that i die twilight princess was for me what ocarina of time was for many people older than me and maybe even people around my age i had never played a zelda game and when i booted up the title screen for this game i was absolutely dumbfounded enthralled and emotional it struck close to me as something so personal and epic that nothing else could ever come close in the games that i played at that time such powerful ost and art direction

and after some years you could see me tearing my hair out when i realised that the twilight princess title screen was basically a reimagining of ocarina of time title screen and its absolutely jarring to me that i had no idea beforehand like how can someone be so dumb BeReal with me rn

so maybe thats also why the ocarina of time title screen hit me THIS HARD due to the fact of being not only the main inspo of twilight princess title screen but also as the original it can eat twilight princess alive

sure i will always prefer twilight princess over everything its not only one of my favorite zelda games of all times but also one of my favorite things in the whole world it means so much to me that i could not even put it into words… actually i will when i play the HD version lmaooooooooo

ok enough of twilight princess propaganda i need to talk about ocarina of time

this game also feels kind of reminiscent of the other games in the series and specifically a link to the past somehow they were making a breakthrough into the 3d perspective and they thought ok actually since most of the people around here fuck with alttp a little to the past we are gonna make a game that has basically the same core progression and they're gonna love it

and we did

ocarina of time has a structure really similar to a link to the past with the first 3 dungeons to get the spirit stones and then some others 5 dungeons to get the sages and then a Final Mix++ Final Dungeon so yeah I will call it the 3+5(+1) progression I got war flashbacks from math classes anyway yeah more so than zelda 1 or links awakening this really feels like an homage to alttp

then again this game absolutely broke every record whatsoever and alttp became the lesser zelda so whatever and its incredible to me how this one's title theme is parallel to that one a link to the past stars with a strong epic fanfare youre here for a monumental journey to save the day now instead ocarina of time dabbles into something new . nostalgia and existential dread don't we all love that

the prologue for ocarina of time is absolutely beautiful its dreamlike and emotional you get to peek into links life friends and family and even though youre gonna go away from here asap this has such a beautiful atmosphere

kokiri are magical beings and links not one of them if you didnt understand it after 3 seconds and so he doesnt have a fairy but boom enter navi the games biggest mouth and somehow the most cute character in this game i really have a lot of gripes for this fucker she never shuts her mouth and she will never be midna but when i tell you that she brings so much comfort i love being with her im not gonna lie when shes not with you i get uneasy its true

navi is a cutie i love her a lot and then you meet the deku tree that dies instantly as soon as you make it into the dungeon of the great tree which is honestly an incredible first dungeon of the game absolutely streamlined but interesting example of whats to com e for the next dungeons youre gonna explore in this game and its still probably one of my favorite ones in the game if you know what youre doing you can finish this dungeon pretty quick

so whatever finish this dungeon get a nice story about goddesses DEATH and then adventure in the hyrule field

hyrule field is pretty fucking hollow theres not much stuff in between places apart from dungeons here and there but this is also so fucking comfortable going through this land has a pretty similar feeling that i had with shadow of the colossus with the sense of wonder and greatness

so whatever get to hyrule castle and the town here is brimming with life absolutely beautiful place you get some minigames here and there a lot of stuff to do and character interactions with NPCs and possibly the greatest town in any single game ever its really small compared to towns in other games and even minish cap has a bigger town but this is super simple and super effective just another day in a peaceful kingdom

syke

introduce zelda the princess you get to her and she tells you about the end of the world about ganondorf having a big nose and about a hunky lesbian nanny and she tells you her song zeldas lullaby possibly one of the greatest songs in any game ever im not gonna lie teehee and this is the absolute greatest link youre gonna construct with zelda youre 2 little kids trying to save the world without even knowing whats gonna be out there its just such a personal conversation that strikes your heart strings as fast as possible and even this little conversation will make you care for zelda

that being said the side things are cool instead of having heart pieces unreachable with current items or behind some secret passages like in other games theres actually some depth to getting this stuff you can do minigames you can do side quests explore every single part of hyrule and still discover something new its fun

the next 2 dungeons are interesting the fire cave of the goron tribe makes for an immediate increase in the challenge and its gonna make you aware that not everything is gonna be fun and play in this game and the zora tribe jabu jabu stomach is some of the most disgusting dungeons ever and the doors are buttholes and carrying ruto around get tiring really fast this was probably for me harder than the water temple im not gonna lie

ruto is a really cool character and somehow reminded me of mipha even though mipha is 100 times better and also dead but ruto has a really cute little dynamic where she wants to fuck him and hes as clueless as ever i love my cute little guy hes great

so thing thing happen get the master sword boom adult

becoming an adult in this game is some of the most heart wrenching part of the game and really hits home with the metaphorical value of the scenes ganondorf destroyed everything adult link doesnt use the items he used when he was a kid because theyre in fact toys and not appropriate for an adult anymore zelda is gone and the howl is gone you get some poetry from a mysterious sheikah tribe guy melodies to dungeons are now harder and actually less memorable than when you were a joyful kiddo and everything that happens in the game is now gonna be way way fucking harder

a bit of a stretch but THATS ADULTHOOD !!!!!!!!

a lot the big ass contrast between this reality and the reality of link as a kid and the tragic nature and consequences of what happened into the land of hyrule youre gonna find long lost people but theyre now more mature or more sad theres not hope or joy anymore like they were in the childhood days and youre left alone . with navi . i love navi

i guess this is gonna be SPOILER TERRITORY

ok good now the game is gonna concentrate on dungeons over dungeons theres not really anything to keep you entertained or minigames to live life happily theres just gonna be nothing like that theres you and the dungeons and everything bad that can happen is gonna happen

the forest temple is probably my favorite one of the entire game it has so much fucking detail the vibes are unmatched the entire structure is diverse and beautiful and the mechanics are entertaining enough to not make me want to kill myself

the fire temple was probably the easiest one for me but the fact that it was completely set into an active vulcano where you feel danger everywhere around you and a single misstep will get you fucking killed good fucking dungeon

the water temple is bad we all know its bad im not gonna give this dungeon any merit apart from being absolutely fucking beautiful and the verticality of it all is really pleasant to see in a myriad of dungeons traversed horizontally

the shadow temple is mostly good but theres some stuff that i didnt enjoy that much and that somehow killed the whole pacing of the level and puzzles but damn is this fucking dungeon atmospheric as shit and the final boss is kinda hot like look at those shoulders daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn i want him to crush me frfr

the desert temple is probably my favorite one of the bunch and honestly the entire gerudo part of the game is incredible the stealth part in the gerudo valley the colossus thats gonna watch over you every time in the dungeon the fact that you need to tackle this one as both child link and adult like i just enjoy this dungeon too fucking much and the boss is also one of my fav ones like the hot mage is peak

that being said these dungeons way harder and way longer than the first dungeons youre gonna meet in links childhood and that really drives the sudden harshness of the situation home

while i did think the final rehash of the already visited dungeons i felt ganons castle was a really incredible narrative segment with every single sage wishing link good luck for the battle to come and yeah i grew pretty used to this segment super fast and it went through pretty easily (apart from the shadow one please kys)

now talking a second about the story here im absolutely in love with revisiting already explored parts of the world but when youre an adult now going back to kakariko village and seeing what remained of it and what actually changed or seeking your bestie sarya in the forest temple and getting reunited with your friend (the final message going i will always be your best friend HIT ME i could not move for 5 mins because i was crying im sorry this game is so much for me) or even going back to lon lon ranch and meeting malon now grown up and getting epona back to ride her through hyrule like all this stuff has so much emotional wait in it because you know its been 7 YEARS since the timeskip and it hits it HITS

sheik is also an enigmatic character that speaks in poetry and the realisation that its actually zelda its a fucking jaw dropping moment that wouldve been really incredible if i hadnt known about this plot twist since 10 years old but its still super heavy

now im not actually a fan of zelda turning back to a damsel in distress like you were a fucking ninja speaking in poetry disappearing using weapons playing music doing a lot of great stuff and now you cant even fend for yourself gworl what in the fucking hell

this was actually kind of anticlimactic to me since its basically said that she learned every single battle secret of the sheikah tribe from impa fought bad guys for 7 years and is pretty hot and now she cant do shit but alright im not gonna complain about it because meeting zelda again is always a good thing im not gonna lie

the final battle with ganon is pretty great even tho its basically volleyball and somehow my favorite part was running away with zelda something that really feels reminiscent of running away from the castle in alttp its pretty cool being with her again after all this time and also she can do some weird magic to open gates pretty handy

the final final battle is easy as shit but i love it so fucking much WHAT THE HELL first of all this version of ganon is pretty fucking hot and can rail me whenever he wants second youre gonna be using your items because he pushes the master sword away and then you get reunited with navi with some incredible punch lines and then you just cut his tail lmao ok that IS anticlimactic but i love this game

after everything zelda thanks you and she rewinds time till before ganondorf actually getting evil power for you to never see her again apart from her past counterpart

this finale is absolutely fucking sad i cried like a bitch and after the credits when you see the little scene with baby link going back to baby zelda you wont believe how much i cried i was absolutely mentally unwell it ruined me from inside

somehow the plot of this game is really usual zelda flare but you add a time skip flavor to it to make it more engaging AND more depressed at the same time we love it

that being said the music of this game should be put in the best albums ever made for a game but also in general in the music tradition in humanity as a whole im not even fucking lying this shit it is incredible and while i would like to talk about it forever i wont because i got stuff to do but theres video essays everywhere do that

so music time

i already talked a lot about the title screen but im gonna say it again the title theme is absolutely incredible and i invite everyone to listen to it RIGHT NOW

going into the overworld and listen to this is such a fucking joy and probably one of the most upbeat songs of the entire game since it kind of reminds me of pokemon and shit like that and its also i think one if not the longest song in the entire game since it goes on for like 5 minutes with a lot of nuance put together like it gets really chaotic at points i love this one shit

zelda’s lullaby is incredible this is absolutely not the first game in the series where this song appears but its so iconic and so beautiful that if i were nintendo id have no doubt that this would be the main song of the series for decades and decades to come its just so so so amazing

lost woods is FUCKING ICONICCCCCCCCC ITS SO GREAT IT HAS NO RIGHT OF BEING THIS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD I DONT GET IT I DONT I ABSOLUTELY DONT i would come back to lost woods just to listen to this every time you get in there its just a fucking joy theres so much peace in this song chile

great fairys fountain is iconic and timeless im not gonna say anything about it the song speaks for itself

song of storms or as id like to call it the dubstep one is insane and i would like everyone to know that this is one of the best songs in the series and if you dont think so youre a fraud and you should not be trusted

now i gotta say that the temple songs in the adult time are way more atmospheric and ambience than i thought they would be but theyre still fucking good like every single one of them is good and when you listen to them again without link going HYAAAAAAA you realise how fucking spooky they are what the hell

gerudo valley . thank you nintendo

so yeah every single song is thats the point

ocarina of time is a timeless game a time capsule of a time long lost time time time time time time time time time

and the thing is when you realize that this game is talking about life as a whole of day to day life and the interactions we have and issues and obstacles and links and memories and the inexorable passage of time its no surprise that this is regarded as one of the most incredible work of arts that humanity brought to life in a medium that probably till now was regarded as just toys to fiddle with and emotionless pastime
time is a thing that i think a lot about and this game helped me make sense of it for the most part and i dont think even nintendo understands the absolute might of this games story but its incredible how to this day it touches the hearts of so many people

you could say it defeated the test of time amirite HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was bad heres my favorite sheik quote

“The flow of time is always cruel... its speed seems different for each person, but no one can change it... A thing that does not change with time is a memory of younger days…”

sometime ago i played links awakening dx and i really wasnt impressed with it sure i had played a lot of zelda games and never finished them and truthfully i wasnt really enjoying them as much as i wanted to so i thought it was a really charming game but never finished it

boy did my fucking opinion change not only of the original but of this incredible remake daaaaaaaamn

links awakening feels true to the classic games and of course it is for a game that came right after the brilliant a link to the past a game too ahead of time for its own good and coming up with a rightful sequel to such a colossus of a game wouldve been really hard if it wasnt for nintendo fucking doing it again just constantly raising the bar its unreal

due to its predecessor being the game that it is you would think that they would exploit its success for this one but instead they cut every tie from what came before with a completely new world but with the same link

and what a fucking world

before going deep into the game i gotta say that this remake is jaw dropping i saw people not being a fan of the toylike art style but i honestly think this is such a great complementary style to the already incredible island of koholint it makes it feel like its a diorama in a snow globe a world sealed and confined in an alternate space and if you know the lore deets you know how much i loved this kind of style for this game in particular

every single character is brimming with details in its model every single part of the world is filled with hd gorgeous models that are both incredibly realistic and cartoonish the animations are splendid and really shine if you put a 60 fps patch like its just incredible art back to back to back and even though i really understand the complaints about the art style since its an important detour from the original ones art style but just leave nostalgia back and take this game at face value . its cute its really good im sorry theres no argument to be made here the enemies look so fucking amazing and the bosses are even better the overworld is beautiful and again the characters are great so whatever if you wanna be rude be rude to zelda II not to this

that being said other elements of the remake are some good QoL needed here and there and i think some stuff got tweaked and streamlined but im not really sure since i didnt finish the original lmao i also got stuck for days on the mushroom quest

that being said the remake is pretty good if you dont like it i dont care just play the original maybe i WILL be playing the entirety of the original someday so that i can really have a complete opinion of this game with the knowledge of both versions but for the very “first” complete experience i had with this story it was pretty incredible nothing to say about this

so enough of the remake the game itself

link gets on a shipwreck and finds himself in the island of koholint where theres people that never appeared in the game before nobody knows what hyrule is everyone talks like they know some things they dont want to say to link theres a giant bird fish god thing and everyone is scared of him apart from link and youre absolutely alone if it werent for the very first person to talk to you . cute girl marin my fucking BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

also theres super mario characters and enemies around and you can find kirby in a dungeon MMMMMMMMM THATS WEIRD

so whatever the prologue is basically this and as you might already realise this is just a story element to give you a motive to go in dungeons get the instruments and awaken the fish bird thing

the story is pretty straightforward but what really gives this game such a great personality are the characters and the little interactions they have with link first and foremost marin who is both the very first guide for link in this unknown world and also a place that feels like home for him

cute nothing terrible will ever happen amirite

characters are quirky funny and have some really great chemistry with both the other characters and the world itself koholint is brimming with joy and life and youre gonna fight to protect this peace

syke

gameplay is the usual zelda gist you get keys to dungeons with honestly pretty weird quests like the quests in links awakening are really out there with pacing and gameplay loop and shit like that you can go 5 hours with only side quests or only dungeons it has a strange sense of pace but i really like it nonetheless like alttp was just dungeons after dungeons so whatever

ok whatever dungeons are really cool even though maybe the main criticism for me will be that theyre kind of samey somehow ??? in progression and structure but again this is still a gameboy color game with a coat of paint on top of it so i wont demand too much stuff for it like even alttp dungeons were way more interesting but its FIIIIIIIIIIIINE its fine ok i love this game so whatever get in the dungeon take the dungeon item do puzzles and get the instrument rinse and repeat now yeah this is always the same in zelda game and yeah dungeons usually arents my fav part of these experiences and just so you know this game also has a bomb overworld filled with secrets here and there and its always such a great thing to get a new dungeon item and be able to traverse new parts of the overworld and get to places that were closed before so yeah this is great and also probably has one of my fav roster of items and rocs feather is peak i dont care

so yeah whatever this is classic zelda what the fuck do you want me to say

now the music here is incredible dont get me started the arrangements are absolutely top notch and theres not a single fucking bad this is one of the very first songs you will listen to just tell me you dont want to tear your hair out cmon i will wait and theres also something so beautiful about the town theme it has such a great sense of comfort of joy it just feels like home

also another fav one is tal tal heights absolutely gorgeous music i love videogames why are they so good i honestly dont even know anymore

so whatever after the meat of the game we need to get to the meat of the story

SPOILER ALERT

boy the ending got me . the fucking dread the enemies feel every time you say youre gonna awaken the bird fish thing has ground since theyre basically asking you to not destroy their world but you have to do it or else you cant go home and youre gonna get hints here and there that what youre gonna do is gonna destroy the whole world NPCs are already accepting their fate the owl is speaking in riddles but is trying to give you an explanation the writings you find in the overworld will tell you that the awakening of the big fishy fish whale is gonna bring a lot of grief and still you do it you go there play the instruments battle the ganon phantoms which is a staple now and talk with the big fish

he says its all a dream and now everything makes sense the way characters talked the out of context elements from other nintendo games the enemies trying to defend their existence it was all to let you know that what youre doing will delete everything

left with nothing else to do you just get to the ending scene while the island crumbles in front of you with marin and everyone else disappearing into nothingness just for you to remember them after everythings ended

the credits roll and youre left with a mental anguish and just cannot do anything else but cry i was OVERFLOWING OH GOD THIS GAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE watching links sad face on the raft really got to me and then looking the seagull in the sky leaving place to the image of marin like she wished for the fish divinity thing like WHO THE FUCK UHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH I HATE THIS GAME

like why would you make me suicidal im just asking that

links awakening is such a nice game and not only it is one of the most fun games in the franchise but also has a unique story to boot with an incredible existential crisis as soon as you finish the game and the fact that the developers could create such a gem of a game with this absolute banger of a storyline is pretty insane kudos to you and i said i hated the GBC but i think i need to rethink everything now

at the end of the day what remains of what we feel are the memories we take with us . marin i miss you every day

please dont forget this song - or me

its a nice DLC i guess not really a fan of the halloween themed stuff but some minigames are bomb

plushkin patch is basically the plushbaby minigame so it fucking sucks ass

the pirate ride is fun but im not here to shoot balls

the corn maze is pretty interesting and tense here and there and foxy on fire is kinda hot like i wouldnt mind being rendered useless by him in this attire can i say that in this forum

hallway crawl is my favorite one of the bunch this time its really fucking cool and cinematic and has some jaw dropping atmosphere sure it has a dumb gimmick but i really like it im sorry

build a mangle trick or treat and dreadbear are ok like really mid but some interesting gameplay elements so im not gonna complain

danger keep out is just FNAF1 with halloween pumpkins around and a taser for kinky BDSM play so whatever

thank you goodbye

bro can't fucking believe a VR rendition of the fnaf franchise is actually the best game in that same franchise

when I booted help wanted I actually had zero expectations I thought it was gonna be just a bunch of boring minigames put together for fans to cry over and calling it the second coming of christ but in fact this is quite expansive and pretty great i almost got too close to give this 4 stars but there ARE some BS minigames so youre not gonna win me over

i didnt play it in VR I played it in the old way KB + mouse (because playing this with a controller is lowkey unbearable) and thats still a pretty great experience nonetheless but yeah I can't really talk about the VR version but I guess that's the same

people say theres a bomb lore/story here but i actually understood zero about it so i guess your best bet is to just trust other people im known to not being actually that trustworthy

im just gonna say this this game has the best renditions of FNAF 1 through 3 i couldve asked for you got a remake from the ground up with an overhauled graphic that really drive home the horror aspect and theres even some tweaks here and there that really help the experience throughout in FNAF1 you can see animatronics walk up to your door this time and this pretty sick if you ask me and the same happens with foxy now freddy is known to be kind of a jerk in this game so really cant talk for that now in FNAF2 the same applies most of the animatronics have some animations and its just insane how this adds a lot of personality to the whole game while also being incredibly true to the original games like these are just really good remakes altogether and if it werent for the VR based mechanics maybe i would even recommend these ones over the original ones now FNAF3 sucks here too and since its still VR coded its pretty hard to duck phantoms but yknow at least springtrap is fucking VISIBLE in this one and i dont have to look online his position on the camera TF

so yeah anyway pretty competent remakes now its not only this because you also have

dark rooms which are basically the plushtrap minigame from FNAF4 but expanded you get one with him one with BB and then the dark rooms with plushbaby which is honestly the worst minigame of the entire game im sorry its so fucking chaotic and bad i dont like it im really sorry so yeah these ones are nice

and then funtime foxy i guess thats a minigame that exists its just that the sister location counterpart is way more scary

parts and service ones are just the minigames of sister location but with the main 4 guys which is pretty fun i really like these ones theyre quick and interesting and really scare you if you fuck it up lmao

vent repairs also have some of the most interesting mechanics in the game and also these ones take inspiration from sister location and are just fucking bomb theyre tense have a lot of claustrophobic value and are just a great change of pace from the usual stand in the office type of gameplay

night terrors are genuinely just the FNAF4 gameplay which i love and yeah ended up loving these ones quite a bit the funtime freddy is pretty nice you hear him breathing into your pussy and scare you with those bunnies or whatever the nightmarionette also have some great mechanics and tentacle porn circus baby one is easy as shit but its nice to be in the closet i feel at home and fredbear is FNAF4 fredbear i guess so a fucking threat to humanity

you also get some more minigames but theyre really just the other ones but harder or with some tweaks here and there nothing really incredible

so yeah whatever its nice i really enjoyed this one quite a lot i wouldve given it 2 fucking cents but it really blew me away i got high hopes for help wanted 2 and now the marathon is coming to an end with security breach which i know it sucks but it has monty and i want monty to rim me so

absolutely jarring to me how this is not sitting in the best of bests zelda games altar but I'm also knowledgeable about the fact that every single zelda game is a banger so its pretty hard to make a top currently for me since as of yet nothing came close to the almighty twilight princess i love that game to death its fucking unreal and only because theres furry wolf link and hes kinda hot

minish cap gets back to the usual 2D formula and thats mainly why I made this big of a leap forward in time in the marathon because I just wanted to explore the 2D topdown games before getting into lush 3D beauty that will inexorably make me play skyward sword which is weird because everyone hates it but some close friends say its good so i dont know what do think5

for a game that mainly feels like a classic zelda it's incredible how much innovation can be done with just ONE additional mechanic (ok maybe 2 but we are not gonna talk about the multiplying link aspect here) like the very simple aspect of allowing link to shrink to millimeters can release a lot of possibilities for the game designers to exploit and thats so fucking genius

mostly I'd like to talk about something else first the art design of this game is absolutely unmatched the pixel art is incredible and jaw dropping to the point that I can say that its one of the most beautiful games I've seen in the GBA hardware and maybe in terms of pixel art one of the sickest to ever be made its absurd every single frame of the game can be screencapped printed and hung to a wall in a national gallery and people would say “oui oui i love this Monet” like every single environment is full of details here and there the main places you will traverse have a vibrancy and an attention to color and hue that its honestly just honey for your eyes theres absolutely no way that somebody will play this game WITHOUT tearing their hair off at how splendid all of this is it doesnt make sense how jaw dropping it is now the animations of the characters are full of life and thats true but i found pretty weird that some characters have some black outlines and others just bland with the environments behind them which is kind of a weird contrast but i didnt mind it that much because again the eye candy is real like look at this

that being said i wont just be all the day here telling you how great the art direction is because i got other things to do even though thats hard to believe

gameplay is usual zelda i wont give you the basic notions BUT somehow i must say that all the items are some of my favorite ones till now theyre really cool and make for a great arsenal of tools every time i say arsenal i think about ratchet and clank up your arsenal which i just realised it means up your ass im so quirky teehee

the dungeons are really interesting in this one because theyre arguably less than the usual number of dungeons in other games but literally EVERYTHING you do in this game is a puzzle literally you will just walk around the overworld and theres always something blocking your way its unreal and also theres something that i call the pre dungeons areas which also do act a bit as dungeons themselves like youre gonna get inside a dungeon and youll feel like all youve been doing is being in a dungeon and solving puzzle and that should be ideally a problem for me since i hate puzzles but its really a good fuel for my adhd since youre just gonna be occupied with a puzzle during the entire playthrough but whatever yeah and the main dungeons are good i guess i mean none of them are the ice palace of alttp so i can say that theyre really good maybe sometimes they will become a bit confusing or too long in general but whatever its not like the other games are better

something that was really weird is that since the overworld is pretty small compared to other games due to the gba factor they put a lot of shit to discover and to discover even MORE stuff theres a mechanic called fusion which was really weird every time i used it since i always thought about sex ??? idk im going crazy dont talk to me so whatever using some stones you will find throughout the game you can fuse them with stones that other characters have and make some stuff appear into the world idk how this works but it works and its just gonna fill the game with even more stuff its unreal

the story is also pretty simple and straightforward but i really loved how the town is brimming with charming characters the little hat is super charismatic and has an interesting backstory and relationship with link and i love links little hair in this one hes so fucking cute what the HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL so anyway zelda is also extra charismatic and possibly my favorite iteration of the character till now shes so cute and just wants to be freed from her princess duties and dance in the matsuri also am i the only one or the beginning of the game feels exactly like the first 20 minutes of chrono trigger maybe im going crazy

so umh yeah the music is good as always i cannot really say anything in particular since this is just usual the legend of zelda music with new arrangements and OF COURSE its gonna be good like theres nothing quite like zelda music we already know that

yeah mmmmmmmmmmm idk i forgot what else i wanted to say but basically i love every single part of this game to death and the minish are the cutest zelda race till now if it werent for rito being super fuckable i want to suck every rito ever off its unreal umh sorry i meant this game is really good play it teehee

also upgrading your moveset is rad

girlie what the umh what is this supposed to mean

i came across this game by complete chance and i thought it was gonna be nice to check it out and yeah i guess this wasnt what i was expecting but i was pleasantly surprised anyway

this is such a short game that i cannot even tell you what this is about without basically telling you everything that happens in it but the focus is youre a frog detective and theres a ghost case on a deserted island which isnt deserted because its deadass brimming with characters but i digress so whatever you go there and solve the case in 10 minutes thats the fucking end

genuinely charming but for a game that heavily depends on quirky interactions and humor i wasnt that impressed the humor was bare bones and didnt land for me probably because this is not my kind of humor im more of a sex jokes death jokes mental illnesses jokes kind of person and i had no hope to get a good laughter out of this game but at least its nice

the gameplay is so stupid im not even gonna talk about it honestly its just a point and click you know

and the art design is kinda wonky altogether and i still dont understand if the movements of the characters are motion captured because theyre too fluid to be animated frame by frame they feel like recordings of people with the models over them but i digress im not that clever anyway

whatever the frog can throw their pussy back okruuuuuuuh

before reading this remember that I overall liked this game so I don't get death threats in the comments (or if you want to wish me death do it using an @ so I get the trophy lmao)

listen . i wanted to love fire emblem binding blade i really did . like theres some part of me that really wouldve ended up loving this game to death if it wasnt for the fact that its absolutely fucking tedious to play its not like this has no redeeming qualities but its pretty hard to just close an eye or maybe actually both eyes to some of the stuff that this throws at you

binding blade has actually a lot going for it bomb presentation amazing animations and art design addictive gameplay (:3 blatant lie) and the usual fire emblem flare in the story department but it really works a lot against its favor in many different ways

before I get to the weird stuff I want to really have a moment to say that the pixel art is incredible every single battle animation is intoxicatingly good and when you get to advanced spells there's some real eyecandy there im just gonna say this every single character portrait even if pretty simplistic drives the charm and the worldmap designs (in terms of aesthetic) are a delight to look at and even the backgrounds during the cutscene segments have a lot of details here and there that really add to the experience

unfortunately apart from this (that will become a staple for the other gba games anyway) I found this game kind of mid in every single aspect and you won't believe how much this ENRAGES ME UGHHJJ i swear I did my best to like this entry but it has too many downsides to actually say that this is at least at the same level of awakening for me . not even talking about echoes because that one is beyond everything else entirely

the story is pretty simplistic and doesn't get too many interesting plot points through a whopping amount of 25 chapters + like what 7 other chapters and thats a fucking shame apart from the beginning of the game and I'd say until you rescue lilina (one of my favorite character in this game actually) it really slows down for the entire game and picks up again only in the last chapters and since its just gonna be 20 chapters of absolutely nothing its a damn fucking flaw if you ask me most of the beats are gonna be like "our nation is against this nation and we are gonna defeat the main lord of this plot of land and then another and them another and then another until we get to the final boss and everyone's happy" and even when they get to interesting bits like the dragon lore stuff or the demon dragon infodumb in one of the last chapters I was so fucking exhausted of the story so far or lack thereof that I just wanted this torture to end im not even joking here

also I don't understand why the true ending is locked behind some extra quests whose conditions for their unlocking are a mystery to me as of yet I followed a guide so idc

granted there's some high points here and there again the whole lilina affair is probably my favorite part of the story and the dragon stuff is also cool and the final boss and ending are sad enough to make me at least enjoy the closing act but apart from that there's not a lot of stuff that I can say about the story besides its a fucking slog throughout but that's not gonna be so bad if the characters are charming !!!

they're not

this game strangely has a large cast of characters to the point that I only used like ¼ of the entire roster (which were also the only good ones anyway lmao) and yknow what happens when you make a game with too many characters ??? none of them will be properly developed thats right and thats a fucking shame if you ask me

tell me 5 characters in this game without looking on the Internet I'll wait

even the characters that should be the protagonists have to take a backseat most of the time because when you recruit the chapter character they're gonna steal the one liners for the most superficial character design ever and then get in your caravan and never speak again which means that most of these people won't have character development or anything ALTHOUGH !!! the supports DO give a little insight on the character relations and whatnot and when you recruit a new character that doesn't join automatically sometimes youre gonna need a specific character to make them do the talky talk but realistically apart from this theres absolutely nothing

clearly roy is gonna be the most deep character of the bunch and even there ? he's not really the deep anyway its like they put a shonen protagonist into the fire emblem universe and called it a day hes lawful he wants to kill the bad guy and can do nothing wrong DISCLAIMER echoes became one of my favorite games here and alm has the same problem you can get tanjiro from demon slayer and put him in the shoes of alm and it would be the same my problem is not about ROY but how generally this game handles characters and character development

other characters do have some kind of depth like fae which is a little dragon with a big heart and some kind of lore implication lilina is the love of my life and my sweet little angel but again after you save her she's just gonna sit her ass in the caravan and do her magic things I guess and … I already forgot who else there is

hector and eliwood are interesting but they're gonna be explored better in blazing blade anyway so whatever the red and green knights are as bland as ever there's dieck who is actually just zoro from one piece and there's also another reason why I want to fuck him shanna is very pretty and clarine is fucking funny sue is also an interesting character with zero depth apart from my tribe is very rural and we eat raw meat and I think I wanna sit on noahs face but I never really used him in battle anyway thea and larum are also very cute cath is an exception because I remember her for ruining my life milady can put her stilettos in my urethra and I want perceval to cum all over my face sophia is BEAUTIFUL but doesn't last 2 seconds in battle zeiss is also another face I'd sit on and I want douglas to choke me and fuck me raw

and guinivere is cool I guess not a fan of the damsel in distress just sitting around not doing anything trope

now again most of the characters are gonna just say a one liner and dip but some of them are really hot so I can excuse them

now the gameplay is basically usual fire emblem I'm not even gonna talk about it but I'm gonna say that this is definitely the most weirdly balanced one of the bunched I've played so far which is not a lot but still

some of the characters I mentioned are completely useless and again most of the characters you're gonna use are just gonna be like what 10 ? maybe even less because most of the characters here just suck and aren't even worth to put into battle to just then getting killed before even acquiring a level this game is so fucking unreal and difficult for no reason like who the fuck thought about ok let's make this game difficult by making the maps too large and/or intricate for their own good and making the hit rate be like 10% what am I even supposed to do with that im gonna go insane

so yeah basically if you want my advice just use Allan Lance Dieke Rutger Shin and maybe Sue Milady and then idk I also added to the bunch clarine and perceval now lilina is probably not good and you should just go with lugh but I wanted to use her in battle so I ended up leveling her up like hell and she became a fucking tank thank me later

and I guess that's basically it I can say that the music is also cool doesn't really excel in anything if I'm being really honest but it's serviceable and works well for the game in general so at least I'm gonna give this to the game I already talked badly about it long enough and I think there's some really interesting tracks here and there and for some reasons I ended up being a sucker for the sad songs like distant utopia is definitely an highlight if you ask me and the theme of guinivere just being depressed and miserable somehow ended up being my favorite theme out of the entirety of the tracklist idk it's such a beautiful song what the hell oh also I guess the polar region one is another highlight and there's a battle theme that I can't fight but yeah there's this one too if you're interested the name is [????????????] I'm pretty sure there's some other cool stuff I listened during my campaign I will be sure to check them out

(this is a consideration as soon as I finished the game maybe if I listen to the ost alone without getting frustrated at the game I'm gonna change my mind thank you)

all in all this is a fine game I just expected more from the "core fire emblem experience" if I had started from this one I'd have dropped the series marathon so fucking hard what the hell

this game is fucking impossible without savestates I want to talk with fire emblem fans who say umh achtually rebooting the game when a character dies is part of the whole experience hehe umh bro just say you got suicidal tendencies and go

just so you know viola is absolutely fucking cute and i will protect her with my life idc

this is a remake of the original the witches house which is another of those incredibly famous classic horror rpgmaker that made letsplayers go fucking wild and make 30 parts of how many deaths they can get lmao and that actually gave me the idea that this game was gonna be pretty decently long but it took me like 2 hours or actually maybe less like what the fuck me when i purposefully spread misinformation

so main thing out of the way the new overhaul of the art direction is a nice addition i mean the original art style was charming i still prefer it actually but its pretty cool to play the game with a new coat of paint it isnt the most rtx on like the mad father remake (which actually has a pretty similar way of how the remake is treated just with a lot more budget lmao) and its pretty weird how its still in 4:3 but i digress

witch house takes place in a … sorceress mansion and this environment is the real protagonist of the game i mean theres viola but shes basically just there to be killed in every single way possible poisoned crushed skewered umh drown due to tadpoles (?) whatever so the real focus of the game is how the house feels alive everything moves and changes shape the magic of the witch can be felt in every single floor and hallway and its clearly fucking with you to make your traversing to the top floor absolute hell but thats fine because thats what the game is all about

thats right this game being an rpgmaker game its gonna have a lot of puzzles hahahahahah … i fucking hate puzzles dear lord but these ones were actually kind of straightforward and fast to do so its fine also most of the deaths will result in a quick respawn of the protagonist right before her death and it worked most of the time apart from 1 you will know anyway yeah whatever not the biggest fan of puzzles i dont care about this one

the atmosphere tho ??? unmatched most of the parts of the house have some really particular vibe like the bedrooms or the halls or the gardens or the cellars everything has a distinct aura and it will always get you in a really good mood or like shit your pants if youre a wimp and then get you killed probably

thats the gameplay ! die ! thank you

most of the art design is focused on making the house full of details here and there and when you actually get some portraits theyre kind of … there !

so yeah whatever most of the lore is actually infodumped at the end or read in some diaries or told by the black cat of wonders whos actually snappier than what i thought can i say that i love this bitch hes fun and entertaining

the true ending actually made me gasp because i absolutely forgot about the main twist and i lost all my hair my pores are clear and my mane is gone

still one good game to just play through once in a while its still not IB tho

this is probably the most famous rpgmaker game around and the one that somehow booted the whole genre for me personally since after watching a gameplay of mad father i would just look everywhere for horror rpgmaker games to make me shit my pants teehee i was such a quirky 10 years old with too much time in my hands honestly time passed for everything and im soon gonna end up ash in a jar

that being said !!! this is a remake of the original mad father and i believe it was mostly untouched for the most part like it has some QoL and tweaks here and there a completely different presentation all around (i still do like the original raw one a bit more but they still did a damn good fucking job with this one every sprite and animation is lush as shit) and i dont understand how vivid the memory of this game was in my head istg i remembered most of the stuff that happened and the story beats and some puzzles and i did not think that was gonna happen but here we are

as an rpgmaker game it has the usual stuff get item A combine with item B and use it on point C and all this for the entire game while sometimes youre gonna get spooked because uuuhuhuhuu spooky skeletons and blood and jumpscares (its not scary) but i guess the main thing here is traversing the mansion with an incredible atmosphere following you like this game nails its sense of claustrophobia and AT THE SAME TIME agoraphobia i have no idea if this makes any sense but the whole house is incredibly big but since youre gonna spend most of the time either here or in the narrow basement its gonna feel like the walls are gonna crush into you while theres specters trying to get some of that 11 year old piece of ass aya is carrying

lets talk about aya i love aya from hell and back and i love when she screams and cries weirdly enough but the whole point of the game is that his father is absolutely fucking crazy shes gonna see specters of people who got killed by his dad still hauting her house hear screams and chainsaw noises from his laboratory and talk with her late mother that literally says “girl he cray cray get tf out” and STILL shes gonna be like ugh i gotta save father i love father please father be well baby your father is the butcher ion really think umhhhhh

so anyway the story is pretty much this apart from the fact that you get a flashback every item you touch and get some backstory to “patients” of his “father” the “package” “came” in the “male” ??? and basically just trying to get the fuck out as an rpgmaker game theres gonna be different endings but im just gonna pretend the only one is the good one because thats the one that i did and i dont remember the others that being said the story is interesting nothing that really shakes the fundamentals of modern day writing standards but a good premise for the entire game being a spooky hooky gooky loopy yuppy that one

the portraits of the characters are left untouched which is weird because they feel like those drawings in “learn to draw manga characters” books and then theres the high quality spritework back there so its a bit of a weird contrast but its pretty fine still some of them look weird but i like the CGs here and there theyre not furry leve CGs but theyre passable

ideally id say that the gameplay is good but i honestly hate this kind of rpgmaker gameplay because im gonna open a guide in 0.3 seconds because i hate the feeling of being lost and not progressing one bit sowrey uwu sorry !!!! :3 and its standard rpgmaker stuff as i said so moving on
characters are good as i said aya is my sweet little baby her father is absolutely fucking insane to the point that he has no redeeming quality whatsoever her mother has a lot of tits and its absolutely insane to me that she fell in love with that ugly incel psycho and maria is rei ayanami coded so people with that proxy fetish or whatever its called are gonna be super happy also whats up with this man getting so many girls to love him fucking stockholm syndrome the other characters are either ghosts with minimal backstory or a hotty without an eye who has some kind of weird siscon i fear so anyway and the bald guy is absolutely not part of this story im gonna just ignore him just play misao

so whatever this is still one of the pinnacles of the classic horror rpgmaker games out there and its pretty interesting how to this day its still just a cult classic to get back sometimes and play for 3 hours its really well done altogether

i hate collectibles use a guide also the theme song is iconic