You know, for the big, bad black sheep of the Postal franchise I was expecting something a whole lot worse. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some deluded apologist fan trying to convince you this is actually a misunderstood masterpiece or even a good game at all. I'm just saying it's more a cheap and disappointing product than the unplayable affront it's known as. Honestly, I've played a little over half the property's entries and expansions at this point, and PIII is about par for the course in terms of quality. Sorry, not sorry.

Its biggest problem is budgetary, which has continuously proved to be the only thing that has been more detrimental to the series' reputation and reception than even its controversial content. Running with Scissors passed development of the project off to Akella, the company responsible for publishing their works in Russia, and one of its internal studios fittingly named "Trashmasters" because those guys had deeper pockets. Unfortunately, the country's Great Recession from 08-09 completely mucked up any chances for the potential greatness that you can still catch the occasional glimpses of while playing.

The whole package was built around the idea of replayability, featuring a branching storyline that will lead you to one of three possible endings depending on your choices and behavior. The notion of getting to see entirely new content in the form of different missions and cutscenes is as compelling in this format as it is in your typical Western narrative RPG, although it's more than a bit weird that they decided for outcomes to be determined by a morality system. I mean, actively encouraging players to be upstanding, law-abiding citizens in a Postal game?! What sense does that make?

Ultimately however, I didn't find the gameplay enticing enough to pull me back in to go for another ending, and not simply because I feel I happened to pick the most interesting path of the bunch on that first playthrough either. The financial struggles behind the scenes led to this being nothing more than a generic, linear third-person shooter. Admittedly one that can be mindlessly entertaining due to the fun gore and silly guns, even if some weapons don't seem to work (I'm convinced it's impossible to hit anyone with the fire axe). Might have earned a cautious recommendation were it not for the plethora of technical issues. As if long levels without checkpoints weren't enough, I experienced multiple crashes to desktop and repeated instances of critical doors inexplicably failing to open that forced regular mission restarts.

Never knowing if something was about to go wrong and cause me to have to replay possibly lengthy stretches of a stage if I didn't remember to manually save every few minutes is what really kills this for me. I legitimately enjoyed the return to a more grounded style and tone after Apocalypse Weekend, and found the writing fitfully amusing by virtue of how nasty and vulgar they were willing to be with the shock humor in their blatant efforts to offend. It is perhaps worthier of the Postal name than the vast majority give it credit for. Regardless, while I believe the overall general vitriol this has received over the years is a tad overblown, I wouldn't recommend the curious members of the fanbase check it out. The dev's lack of proper funds led to this being too unstable and lackluster to be a fulfilling use of your time. It may be too early to tell for sure as I've still got quite a few releases left to try, but based on all I've gotten to thus far I'm beginning to suspect this property doesn't have anything consequential to offer after its second outing.

5/10

Running with Scissors tries its hand at a linear campaign. I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised to see a cheap DLC add-on take a more focused, directed approach like this, but all it really does is highlight how Postal 2's combat and level-design wasn't made for or suit that kind of structure. With the open-world having been completely stripped away you're funneled into a string of segments that either have you blasting your way through corridor-shooter levels or killing X number of something (usually animals or zombies) before being able to move on. While the former is definitely more entertaining than the latter, neither are particularly fun or exciting. When the content isn't outright dull it's frustrating instead, shining a big ol' spotlight on the inconsistencies in weapon damage and enemy power. Why is it I can take out the little demon Gary Colemans faster by throwing scissors at them than using an automatic machine gun?

This change in format also forces RWS to engage in a larger amount of scripted storytelling, set pieces, and concocting of their own jokes. Most of my chuckles in the main offering came from however I chose to amuse myself with the tools I had at my disposal. Without the same range of freedom and flexibility at your fingertips here though, they're left trying to mine laughter from the stuff going down in the cutscenes, and let me tell you none of it is terribly funny. A lot of the material is recycled gags (Haha, terrorists and protestors! Satire! LOL!) and gratuitous profanity usage, so I guess I'm expected to be rolling on the floor over how much more absurd and over-the-top everything is now. This expansion marks the point where the franchise first made a heavy push into the hyper-ridiculous territory that would more or less define the property moving forward. I may not be guffawing, but we do get a few noteworthy qualities out of it. Primarily the Dude's hallucination sequences where his prior head trauma causes him to slip into a nightmarish version of reality, which I think might be the devs poking fun at Silent Hill. Whatever the case, it shows the studio has the potential to create a strong horror title visually should they ever decide to step back from the Postal brand for a second.

It's a shame this isn't better, because it's actually a big part of the property's history and lore, making it kind of essential to get the full picture. Apocalypse Weekend​ played a huge role in shaping the tone of the series and is also the source of that "pigeon mission" meme the fanbase constantly references (for some reason). Unfortunately, it feels about the same as your average crappy, low-budget 2000s era indie FPS. The particular weak points being an overly long and difficult escape from a U.S. military prison/nuclear silo that requires quite a bit of save scumming and one of the most dreadfully loathsome final bosses I've ever faced. I also experienced multiple crashes to desktop, which never happened to me during my playthrough of the base game. Oh well, at least when I exit to the main menu there's a sexy chick in a thong there now. So that's nice.

4/10

I gotta give Running with Scissors mad props. They are some evil, evil geniuses. This is the perfect, sarcastic middle-finger response to the backlash they received for the first Postal. All that violence media outlets and parents alike got so worked up over? Entirely optional here. The devs do give you the tools to be a mass slaughtering, public urinating menace to society, but in no way force you to use them. Meaning you can go through each of the 5 days' to-do lists of ordinary life tasks completely law-abidingly. That's brilliant, because it essentially turns anybody taking this seriously enough to get offended into the big underlying joke. You can't legitimately blame the game for whatever twisted actions you catch someone performing onscreen in this case, since the amount of freedom and lack direction given in regards to how the mundane goals can be tackled make it totally the product of their own sick little minds.

What's allowed this satire of GWB era America to stand the test of time as a sort of pseudo-classic that people still play, replay, thoroughly enjoy, and talk about nearly 21 years later as of this writing isn't its ability to appeal to immature teenagers while simultaneously causing their authority figures to look pretty foolish for complaining about it, however. It's the absolute playground for childish mischief it provides. The vulgar/heinous acts you can commit and politically incorrect world they take place in are presented in a cartoonish, clearly tongue-in-cheek manner akin to something like South Park. What feelings of repulsion one could have in regards to the havoc they create is offset by the knowledge that every NPC around you is just as big of a sociopathic maniac. A fact that only becomes more evident as the scenarios you find yourself in steadily grow increasingly outlandish, absurd, deranged, and unhinged as the in-game week goes on.

Not to mention, its approach to the open-world setting may be dated by modern standards, yet there's a retro charm to that simplicity and barrenness which solely serves to pull you in further. I noticed myself exploring the map, not because I had to find X number of doodads to turn into some umpteenth quest-giver or was chasing down another icon/marker, but rather due to genuine curiosity and pure enjoyment in doing so. I had a blast ignoring my main objectives and getting lost for hours in the various locations along the way, always being rewarded in the form of stuff such as amusingly silly visual gags, ridiculous Easter egg secrets, or new weapons that are hidden in every corner in very 'Murican fashion.

The best part is that they're basically giving this away these days. I picked up a Steam key from RWS’s own website for $2, and that version comes with a variety of expansions and quality of life improving mods already pre-installed that you can toggle on or off at your discretion. As a result, I can't help but recommend this, even if just to say you have had the Postal 2 experience for yourself. You really should too. Though the entertainment it offers is undeniably juvenile and highly inappropriate, the weird trash masterpiece status and strong cult following this has managed to achieve regardless (and continues to seemingly somehow grow) elevates it to being worthy of trying despite its fairly tasteless nature. Who knows? You may end up discovering a not-so-guilty pleasure in the process like I did.

9/10

This review contains very minor story spoilers

Prefix the same thing I did on my MGS 1 & 2 review. I played this through the new master collection on PS5 however I want to talk about each game individually so ill review each one as I complete them and then ill talk about the master collection later.

This time last month I had never touched a metal gear game but always had intentions of getting into it one day, fast forward to today and MGS3 has became one of my favourite games of all time. While the first two are extremely good games, Snake Eater blows them both out the water, with a beautiful story, major changes in the franchises gameplay and one hell of a good score. There is a reason that this is considered one of the best games of all time and it has quickly shot into my top 15.

Starting off with the Story, it is without a doubt the best in the series. It has fantastic characters which are all given enough time to develop across the game, a really interesting and tense story which has enough twists and subversions to keep you guessing throughout. Naked Snake is a great protagonist and despite looking and sounding identical, is different enough from Solid Snake to hammer in that you are playing as a different character. The side characters are at their best here. Eva is a really good character and the chemistry between her and Snake is a highlight. Ocelot constantly appearing to try and beat Snake is funny and actually serves as a good origin for his character. Volgin is a really imposing main villain and it was nice to have a main antagonist which isn't just another Snake clone. The codec characters are cool and thankfully dont overstay their welcome unlike in MGS2. Finally though, The Boss, one of the best characters in the series and through a small amount of screen time manages to have such a meaningful arc and the twist makes for a beautiful ending. "She was a true Patriot"

The gameplay is changed massively from the first two games. Where they featured a fixed camera and had all your items laid out for you, Snake Eater takes a more survival approach and ditches it for a free camera and makes you pick and choose with what you have equipped. It also has a camouflage feature where you can select between a bunch of different outfits and face paints to better disguise yourself while in the jungle. Also added is a focus on gathering food, Snake has to eat periodically to regain his stamina, also to add to immersion Snake has to treat his wounds using the cure area. Depending on the injury Snake can use a variety of supplies to treat them otherwise his health will gradually decrease. Combat plays similarly to MGS2 with the first person aiming but makes a lot more use of CQC.

Another area where Snake Eater excels is the boss fights. Probably the best in the series only possibly rivalled with the first game. The Cobras are this games "Sons of Liberty" and are 100x better and more enjoyable. Each boss being themed around an emotion they take into battle is a really cool idea. Each boss feels very different and while they aren't as integral to the narrative as the FOXHOUND guys in MGS1 they are still important to the story. The End and The Fury were my two favourites, Also I really liked The Sorrow's section I thought it added a great creepy atomsphere. The Volgin boss fight was also pretty fun and The Boss is a brilliant fight as you feel more outmatched by her than you do Volgin who is double the size.

Visually the game looks stunning for its time. The jungle aesthetic is a bit samey due to the lack of colour beside green but the sections where you are out of the jungle make up for that. Character designs are great and probably the best in the series. The score is one of my favourites of all time, the main theme is fantastic and the music throughout is a joy to listen to.

Technical wise I found that the characters facial animations would glitch a lot with there mouths never matching up to what they are saying and sometimes not even opening at all. Very minor nit pick which is probably just a sign of the times.

I genuinely have little to no complaints about this game as my biggest complaint was fixed. Snake Eater doesn't feature any 12 minute long exposition filled codec segments or any needlessly long cutscenes where nothing of interest happens. Instead it has beautifully crafted cutscenes that help advance the narrative instead of playing the whole game like a movie. Also the motion capture for the fight choreography is really good for its time and holds up with stuff released today.

Metal Gear Solid 3 : Snake Eater is rightfully considered one of the greatest games of all time. Kojima created an amazing story that feels like an amazing movie and an equally amazing game. Without a doubt worth a play, I'm annoyed it took me so long to get into this franchise, unfortunately from what I can gather it doesn't go well from here but I will probably stick with it once the next volume of the master collection comes out. Up there with my favourite games of all time.