Buddy, I've not had a love/hate relationship like this in a minute......

There's so so much I want to write about but I don't want to make myself all mad/sad.

Yeah, I mighta had a better time if I didn't pour 100 hours into it going over all the side content but that shouldn't be on me?
Gears and Gambits? Gears and Get To Fuck.

See you in 4 years or whatever

For all intents and purposes, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth AKA part 2 of the FF7 project is an outstanding remake that should be praised, critiqued, and enjoyed by fans of the original and newcomers to any JRPG coming from part 1. And for me I have a Midgar-size to unload. First, I’m no expert in determining if a remake and sequel to the first portion of Final Fantasy VII Remake with a massive AAA budget can succeed in its lofty ambitions or at the very least decisively conclude it is better than the first installment. My criteria differ from everyone’s standards, but I’ll try to fairly judge the awesome substance along with detailing what it could improve.

I do want to state before I start that I'm not a fan of FFVII(1997). Doesn’t mean I hate it or it is automatically bad. I favorably look at aspects they brought to the table by evolving from the past entries. What works, what doesn’t, offer evidence behind claims, critique, move on. The series core has a way of continually shifting and embarking on new journeys than retreading old familiar grounds. Sequels are the exception. For what it's worth, the seventh in the series is firmly within my top ten. And I've played over 23 titles in the IP. So I'm average with the lore, story, characters of the world. Devoured the connecting spin-offs, anime, film, and light novels. Heck, my first unofficial entry to the franchise is via Crisis Core for the planet's sake. As a result, I like quite a fair bit of the universe created. I say this early on to defuse any misconceptions of negativity. I’ll try to keep the following text as spoiler free as possible. Failing that, you have my explicit permission to call upon Ramuh to smite me down. Or Ifrit if you prefer scorched BBQ.

Bear with me as I put my mixed feelings first then move onto the good stuff. Merely concerns I had in varying degrees of quality tilting my head at various moments during my adventure.

I’m disappointed to say those who didn’t like the first entries' linear sections, make a dreaded return here. There’s so much padding nearly everywhere. I’m forced to overcome numerous obstacles through a straight path. Impeding my progress. Blocks on the road where I cannot move at my own pace from A to B. Unless I find a solution to my current barriers. Hurdles of screen of tutorials will display providing information on the unique circumstances to progress. From beginning-middle until endgame. The messages never end in both main and side content. Not all of them are frustrating, but I can’t for the life of me praise at least one during a mandatory plot segment. Use a mako vacuum to overcome an obstacle while walking unbearably slow. Rerouting power via cables, climbing passages galore, sling-like Tarzan with grappling wooden/steel beams. Where my buddies consist of a frowning, no-nonsense mercenary, an endearing flower girl, a thug with a gun on his arm, a bartender/pugilist, and a talking dog who must undergo these mundane annoyances. Don’t get me started with unwilling stealth zones in some mandatory and side stuff as well. Stretching the avenue in mindless work of what would otherwise be a normal route with some leeway to explore in a regular dungeon taking the fun and excitement out of my body. An illusion tricking my mind of the ‘ooohhh’ and ‘ahhhing’ of spectacle.

To be fair, I didn’t mind these obstruction elements early on, but when I'm grumbling to repeat yet another ascending rock, ninja labors, and new tutorials to solve my current dilemma. Though, I won’t call them ‘puzzles’ but more like mindless busywork solvable by process of elimination. In effect halting the pacing and making me groan internally once again. The first had these as well, and for what it is worth it's an improvement from XIII and XV’s iterations from the usual hallway simulators and open-world nature. However, I still didn’t like the beeline routes in the remake. Whereas in the original release. I didn't need to spend hours in a dungeon. For example, in one large layout without saying any spoilers. Took me over five hours to complete. In the initial game, the same dungeon took an hour - <- spoilers for the original game inside link. To complete everything. I checked the reported lengths to complete the game and users online said similar times. Not gonna link due to spoilers, but if you check YouTube on dungeon comparison in walkthroughs. Such as mine taking four to five hours to complete the same place. Likewise, one dungeon near the end feels so forced to play as one character and engage in yet no one's surprise a linear path. Taking the haunting vibes in favor of a frustrating if not cute atmosphere marred by boxes… Just no no no. Not to say every dungeon takes that amount of time, but it is something to note going forward. With that said I feel most of these large dense places need to be cut in my honest opinion. I didn’t come here to play a three-hour chunk to reach the next adventure beat.

Don’t get me wrong, Square Enix’s work on the title has already been shown earlier in the first part to detail not a 1 to 1 retelling of the same game. Kind of a sequel/modern/recreation/re-imagining take to the past FFVII compilation/universe. Designed as a way to give old and new players a fresh, but familiar take of the aforementioned classic from 1997. Rebirth and the preceding title stretch both the material in ways I'm still coming to grips years later for better or worse.

For comparison, I recorded my entire playthrough, dividing the main scenario, optional content, and dungeon sectors and I can only conclude the dungeons will take at minimum depending on how fast and how thorough you are in exploring and battling or running. At least an hour to three hours on average. For each dungeon. Coming from someone like me who likes to explore a lot and attain as much as I can, that's a pretty long time. When put side-by-side with the extra content I devoured against the story-only segments, I emerged with less than fifty hours for the story, and the rest were completing the countless minigames and non-base content. For a total of 88 hours. And honestly I was tired by the end. Partially due to the fact of the repetitive nature. Finishing 95% of total activities except 2 side quests(which requires mini-game completion), replaying the entire length on hard difficulty with post-game challenges as well. How Long to Beat & the trophy guide will show analogous data to attain 100%. Granted times will vary. Don’t take my hours as definitive. Playstyles will differ. In my case, I don’t idle. And I don’t rush. So the numbers given above are raw gameplay completing activities.

Perhaps instead of climbing, stealth, and other hurdles we face on repeat. I would’ve favored these aspects more if the developers Creative Business Unit I(CBUI) introduced new, unfamiliar, and fun obstacles to overcome than recycling and reusing the same old methods. Letting us use an elevator or slide our way to the top somehow. Instead of sneaky mode, implement a dialogue check at different points if they are disguised. There is already a relationship meter atop our characters' heads to reflect their current status to Cloud, changing depending on answers given to the recipient. Thus I can’t imagine it can’t be too hard to inject for one passage. Heck, it's kind of similar to passing the lie/truth side-scenario in the Dust Bowl. Since there is plenty of clambering, why not include an extensive platforming branch or puzzle tomb to get from one starting place up to the treasure room? Traversal and how to get there would’ve been a wonderful inclusion. Think Assassin’s Creed’s Ezio when hunting for relics in tombs, Lara Croft from Tomb Raider or the titular character from Prince of Persia to avoid many traps. Moreover, the man with a machine gun arm could’ve demolished rock obstacles in my way not repetitively, but if I was trapped in a cave with multiple paths. Blasting different boulders atop could help stop a wave of monsters incoming on our positions. The talking dog could be used to enter smaller entryways to unlock a roadway for my allies. I could think of more possible ones, but I don’t want to litter pages here. Instead, this is to display how I could think of alternate suggestions I thought within 10 minutes. Imagine if everyone who played could say different ideas. Says a lot for an over hundred-hour game to constantly recycle the same old methods. Resulting in predictableness and dullness.

Would benefit immensely from a skip minigame option for both the story and optional content. I don't want to go through a boring repeating button segment. Hitting a specific combination on a controller or the same old solution moving a slowpoke of a cart again. Every single time I go and sync with a summon you have to hit a specific order of presses to bond. I have no idea why I have to do this three times on repeat. And there are more than eight in the game… Furthermore, anytime I have to receive regional lore concerning any place I have to press a timed button and again three times for each place. I need to repeat these mind-numbing routines in a handful of regions. A simple shortcut option would work wonderfully instead of forcing the player to engage with the systems. In Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 I was able to skip their contrived restrictions of familiar button minigames with no sweat nor downtime. To the point, I earned a reward for completing the activity!

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth isn’t just a JRPG it’s a game spliced with Ubisoft Tower DNA. I kid you not I traveled dozens of these in regions to show nearby locations. I don’t have to unlock them, since you can stumble upon them if you stray from your main objective. But I felt I had to experience everything the game had to offer. Not purely for the story. The side content deserves to be experienced. In a YMMV area. And so climbing the tall structures is nearly the same for everyone. Usually with monsters nearby and barely any change in obstacles soaring to the top. Horizon Zero Dawn uses the same Ubisoft formula except with walking dinosaurs and every time you scale their appendages presents a challenge to get onto the robo-dino. I liked it. Was a fresh take on the formula. Part 2, doesn’t mobilize with creativity and at its most basic form clones the same functional schematic. I wish I could snipe it from far away to activate if something is blocking the antenna. Use a thunder spell, or slap fire spell to destroy vines forming an obstacle. One obstacle I liked was flying to my destination. Though, such an example only occurred in one region. Hence, I feel the developers could’ve created innovative endeavors rather than having to resort back to good old recycling. And I’ve played my decent share of Ubisoft tower games being over 12 entries. If players enjoy these types of rising to the top then I salute you. But for me, Square could do better.

This is relative in the world being a checklist and lifeless at times. All regions barely have anyone in their region to converse and interact with when roaming. Most if not all quest givers are located in their respective cities and towns. And yes there are other denizens within the settlements to converse with, but it is all located mostly with other people. This is painful to witness and experience when I am on the road and admiring the landscape and come across new mobs, but see the same types once I travel enough in a region. Expanding on the checklist most if not all side activities boil down to extermination monsters, fetch chores in retrieving an ingredient from the said place or creature, and returning to the employer. Variations will exist sometimes like following a person delving into one more stealth section or traversing on a mount. But most boil down to boring design. Some of which made me excavate using my chocobo’s senses to follow a trail and then dig for the item. One assignment had me use a sort of radar to find the exact location. No arrow at all except a circle pulsing. I think if the world was more populated adding in travelers. Not allocating all job-givers in a single location within settlements and introducing better sidequest implementation. The execution of which leaves a lot to be desired. Better investigations. Reduction in fetches in favor of already having the item in our stock or bartering for it while giving off a lore bit during discussion. Increase variation in fiend secondary objectives than the standard pressure, stagger, and kill everyone. Or remove them entirely. Such a lack of meaningful implementation leaves me filled with busy work and more like a chore than a fulfilling endeavor to look forward to. Leaving me in a state of confusion and bewilderment.

I did not like the restricted freedom in traversal, whether on foot or on mounts. Regions you encounter being large zones to freely travel there’s a steady amount of verticality to head towards whether above or low normal elevation. Nevertheless, I hit multiple invisible walls constantly as I tried to jump from a very tall cliff to the bottom since some places I traversed didn’t land where I was supposed to. I tried jumping off a cliff only to fail, thereby I had to go all the way around before finally landing on my destination. This is infuriating. Why can’t I jump from the tallest point and suffer an HP cost or none? The year is 2024 and I can’t believe I have to say this, but the game has no shortage of invisible walls. Pressing a button on your controller will help speed you down a sharp incline only if there are ‘steps.’ Without these you’re SOL. What’s baffling is two mounts circumventing these issues entirely, but my character, an EX-soldier can’t land from a high elevation? Square Enix please play Xenoblade Chronicles and take notes.

By extension, I don’t like having to manually gather materials anytime on foot or a mount. Yet when I acquired traversal vehicles later on I could gather them automatically. I’m again mystified why I can auto-pick them up through a mount but have to resort to manual pick-ups of materials I may need. The devs clearly knew earlier on. Except I'm forced once again to enlist with tediousness. And trust me the game litters the world with common, uncommon, and rare materials to freely transmute as if I'm some impromptu full metal alchemist. Good luck trying to get the right ones if you can’t find them for some quests requiring key items to be made.

Without saying spoilers. A new addition to the remake is Interlude sequences. These consist of playable sections using a certain character I won’t name. But suffice it to say I feel their global inclusion needs to be overhauled. Similar, but different from ones like FFVIII. There we could battle, earn experience, change our equipment, interact, talk to both the citizenry, and volunteer in fun activities. Here we barely interact with the world and are stuck in a linear pattern to complete before we're back on the main content. And this is a mandatory story. So you can’t bypass it. It is like teasing older veterans on you know what, but you actually can’t do much of anything. A missed opportunity to interest both old and new in the figure which I like quite a fair bit. Remember what I said previously about padding? We could use the AAA budget in the interlude, please. Not less than ten minute moments.

I feel the pacing and major villain suffer in consistency as I absorbed and devoured as much of the game. The former(pacing) is tangled in a web of Ubisoft towers with poor sidequest implementation coupled with an absence of quality of life regarding countless button assignments leaves me fatigued despite resting on days to embrace a slow-burn plot that doesn’t hit their strides until later on. The latter(villain) and extends to minor antagonists feel like someone teasing me from far away. As if “Na na na you can’t get me.” Accurate from the original yet becomes more infuriating with the lack of any real achievement upon fighting them. By achievement, only a small modicum of advancement, fluff, and perchance a bit of drama details emerge to move the group along and ascertain with one another “ All right so what have we learned, and what can we do better?” Reusing the same old trick again when moving on. Although, some segments do spice up the encounters to be different and unique. The fact I only saw their interactions change and the climax propelling faster near the endgame. And not in the middle of the game’s story. There’s a lot of focus on padding unnecessary content without giving proper characterization. One chapter takes place in a cave and after voice lines are given from an enemy encounter, I have control of my members only to realize they barely engage in banter. Calling out their moves sure and mottos yes. But nothing to extend their relationship further with bonds. Maddening to witness going through multiple sections with nothing but silence as my companion. While in reverse when finishing some side activities I am treated to some pure development straight from the heart. And here I am left wondering what in the gates hell is going on with my non-existent friendly banter. Did they run out of expenses for more voice lines? Or was it all used for Chadley's (a friendly NPC from the preceding entry) budget because his face is the most I’ve seen whenever I initiate any side activity… wish some of the money went into a M&*(New NPC) budget.

Perhaps the biggest offender to me is the motivation to complete the main story. Any game worth their salt needs to have a compelling plot. We can reduce this simple notion to some regular examples. Revenge, stop ‘x’ person, find out why I have missing memories, find a method for ‘y’ idea. Etc etc. Within the 2024 title, our task is to stop someone who-I-shall-not-name but you can probably figure out who. Along with the goal of saving the planet is sorely lacking. The turtle pace narrative walks instead of blazes. Out of the total 14 chapters, only the chapter [blank] finally moved the glaciers out of my way in my opinion. Some of which were merely a warm-up. By the end, I didn’t feel like I reached a definitive answer to my motivation at the start and was left helpless, confused, and horribly misled.

Lastly, maybe a hot take, I couldn’t help but feel a decent amount of camera work stayed too far on certain antagonists as if to give importance or impending doom. The former of which I don’t need to know the layout of a room before hitting the dude's clothing drip or his lips. The latter of which relates to my point on the villain as if poking at the player to remember they are still a grave and present threat looming over their heads. And the ‘headaches’ we receive frequently to distort our reality into a green filter television flashback in ala schizophrenia leaves me groaning every time I see it. I know the man is in pain. I know he is suffering. Yes, I will expect another occurrence again in the following cutscene. With minor variations in between. Makes me think of splendor shots as if the cutscene director wants their audience to embrace the spectacle. And to its credit, some very impressive moments took my breath away. However, not every shot or angle is up to par and I’m sad to report the camera work at times feels excessive to the point of unnecessary.

I hope my mixed feelings aren't a turnoff. Think of them as major concerns that severely impacted my overall experience. Merely trying to say the above text could be better and improved from what didn’t work out for me. Not to be taken as the ultimate egregious stain upon the landscape of gaming or JRPGs in general. And if some take that to heart well you have my permission to send Bahamut to obliterate me. Besides, the game could be far worse… like full of microtransactions, bugs, and crashes, improper balancing, nonsensical narrative, boring characters, a weak villain, etc. Yet I'm glad to report the game is nothing like those horrible examples. Anyway, now is the time for the awesome stuff. With our party exiting Midgar and embracing the wild wilderness outside the yoke of Shinra’s capital. To find answers and well hunt someone-who-I-again-shall-not-name.

Rebirth is faithful and bold. Excelling in recreating some of my favorite spots back in the original and enhancing nearly everything from combat, music, cutscenes, bonds between friends, etc. I could imagine. The over-and-beyond soundtrack and great range in the countless voice actors to the satisfying combat are nearly the same as the first installment but the addition of synergy skills adds a new tactical layer of syncing up with my ally and delivering punishing blows. And the pleasing visual aesthetic of seeing Kalm, the first town you visit is breathtaking, but more so for every city/town you visit as well. Like by the lifestream seeing Junon with a big freaking cannon jutting out into the ocean still gives me shivers. Cosmo Canyon, a place if anyone ever visited the Grand Canyon in America is of a comparable breadth and scale except steampunked and teeming with monsters, but futuristic with windmills and strapped to the rocky cliffside and denizens living freely without the yoke of oppression from Shinra. Without a doubt, the locations are given maxed attention in both scale and exploration to freely travel between several layers of a city. Don’t get me started on the jungles of Gongaga. I embraced my inner gaga over there.

Characters by far receive adequate characterization and some of their development is hidden in their sidequests. The quality of which is just as satisfying to witness once you earn the end of a side objective. My man with a machine gun easily hits powerful lines almost every time he reflects or delivers passionate speeches. Played by John Eric Bentley, he delivers words like a critical point past midpoint and hidden within a cutscene delving deep into his past providing not only proper development but nuance in his self-reflections concerning others. Most of all he’s not afraid to say it and I deeply admire him. Making his actions later on with his comrades heartwarming. Briana White who voices Aerith equally delivers an emotional range from funny and wholesome to genuinely gripping me with her performances. I saw neither cringe nor an inadequacy of tone in any of my allies in general and as a result, the cutscenes pertaining to each of my comrades' screen time were enjoyable. Heck, the talking dog rises past mountains and bites the cosmos zenith delivering one of the funniest scenes in the game. To the point, I prefer this version’s take than the old one haha. And the sheer range they undergo, once I learn new facets of their personality, is both amusing and shocking. I also feel there’s a greater emotional spectrum at play here concerning the main cast. Tifa and Aerith’s budding friendship is heartening to observe as are the darker feelings my cabal undergoes when the narrative dips back into the dark hold of Shinra’s all-encompassing reach over the planet. For every nice moment my group encounters a looming shadow is stalking them. And I like how not all is fine and dilly dally. Makes the cast relatable and human. Although, I wish Cloud would emote a bit. His facial expression is too stoic at times, but when he does delve into more emotions oh it is a sight…

The cinematography is oh my lord exceptionally well done. I know I groaned about the slow burn early on, and some camera work being excessive but goodness, when you cross after the midpoint. The story cutscenes set the tone right - Clean sequences, no hard cuts constantly to confuse the viewer on the action moments and landing the poignant spots when needed. With the voice actors enhancing these scenes to the limit. Various points during the endgame were magical and beautiful. The flow of which offers a nice break from the usual humor and fluff from the side scenarios reeling back the curtain of the main adventure. But I must say, one long sidequest chain being proto-relics regarding the super boss is pretty sick and the attention to detail and care is lovingly crafted. Fans of the series will take special gratification in experiencing all their quirks and epicness.

No copy-paste for enemies and most environments. By the end of my journey I found a total of 230 unique enemies. No different colored variations or slight increases in HP and power differences either. These mobs will chew and spit you out if you’re not careful. On normal difficulty I found the balance to be justtttt right. Didn’t find battles too easy or too insurmountable. Environments for the most part didn’t repeat as if the 3D artists got lazy. Every area you visit, be it a city/town or a hidden place tucked away reveals something beautiful and mesmerizing. I can’t count the number of times I admired the land and embraced the call of nature. Screw the main assignment and subsidiary content. I’m becoming a photographer! Heck check out some of these shots.

No complaints whatsoever for part 2 shatters the limit break on soundscape design. I would equate it similarly to how FFXVI composition goes but differently. I can’t help but notice whenever I gather new intel the music would dynamically change. Specifically towers. Vocals and instrumentals are more fleshed out as you embrace more intel and my god almighty I'm reminded of whenever FFXIV introduces a new trailer for their expansion you don’t get the full trailer, instead you get a teaser before getting the full course meal. Essentially we listen to an adequate sampler then upon reward hear a better-improved version as I progressed in each region is incredible. And good lord almighty Masashi Hamauzu and Mitsuto Suzuki the composers hit the baseball flying into a homerun reaching outer space. It's phenomenal. No copy-paste and recycling of old tracks. You will undoubtedly hear new remixes, arrangements, instrumentals, vocals and so much more while playing. Shifting and changing as I played more and more. Battles, sidejobs, new areas, main story, and cutscenes all have their unique flair of variety. Resonating with my ears. By the time I entered one weird region called Gongaga, I put my controller down and had my hands over my eyes. Silently listening to powerful emotional moments brought by flute wind and percussion instruments among others I can’t for the life of me identify due to screaming internally how a track touches my heart. For those who played a certain title in the FF7 compilation I 100% felt one person's spirit manifested and oh so pure. The feeling is Indescribable. And then I'm treated to a bow wow wow as if I'm suddenly transported onto a jolly happy place filled with children chorusing a heartwarming rendition to give me enough incentive to conquer anything and everyone in my path. Move over final boss. Once I’m listening to the beat of the bow wow I am unstoppable!

Pivoting to minigames, some of which are truly enjoyable to the extent I kept coming back. Out of more than a dozen to play around with. Without any contest. I must say Queen’s Blood(QB) reigns supreme. Fans of the series know about the Triple Triad, a 3x3 grid where you and one other player duke it out card style to win. QB is similar except we have a bigger grid to manage along with more cards to fiddle around with. Up to fifteen. I won’t go into explaining the mechanics, rather I want to say how satisfying it is to go through the side content and challenge QB players who have a passion for the cards. Bonus points for the team to cheekily take great notes from The Witcher 3’s Gwent pre-match camera angles cause man Cloud and whoever he faces offers a mean frowning “Come and get some!” face-off before entering the battle stage. And thankfully enough the difficulty is balanced I would say. There’s an interesting questline integrated into beating new and experienced veterans only to secure the thrilling conclusion near the end. Such care and thought only deserve every ounce of praise in my eyes. Rules feel fair, thankfully not overly complex. Large assortment of cards to collect and over thirty people to challenge and partake in special survival and puzzle matches too! Seriously makes me wonder if we'll face off a new big bad villain with a card game in the next installment. I can't wait! I need this version in FFXIV please!

Anyway, here are other fantastic ones to try. Leapfrog aka Frogger is a nice way to avoid the spinning beams. Fort Condor goes all out on low poly tower defense. Running Wild is like Rocket League, except with animals. 3D-Brawler is an awesome boxing game using poly characters of our members vs poly enemies. Galactic Saviors is an on-rail shooter ala star-fox kind. Can’t forget a full course Chocobo racing with separate tournaments to enter. Honestly, that one feels like its own game with different races to enter. Heck, there’s even a Wall-E-like Tower defense, but you can input your gambits. I could list extra, but I’ll refrain.

Despite what I said earlier about the padding of both story and optional content. To play devil's advocate against myself I do think on the flip side. The result of engaging with the subsidiary content reveals vital characterization for your companions. I touched on the notion with a machine gun guy. But to expand further without getting into the nitty gritty. If a player finishes all the main story content before moving into a new region and decides to complete remaining the side missions within the area. They are treated to an aftermath of story events prior about my friends. Mostly at the conclusion. Sometimes calling back to familiar NPCs we met and knew about in the past game. Making their presence feel more alive in developing their interpersonal relationships. We also get payoffs on some unanswered inquiries regarding our side-cast in the midpoint. Reveal startling lore bombs on what we know of the planet and as you dove deeper reveal further details. By endgame, I ultimately liked the ambition and deviations shifting outside the norm conceptually and with respect to certain areas to old material in a modern form. But can’t help but think their execution needs work to make it fun and gratifying. If I am treated to a tedious quest design only to reveal a paragraph of lines of development from the main cast to the side cast or vice-versa within the entire product to give me joy. Then I think something needs to change to make the long-term experience enjoyable and not half-and-half.

A triple ‘A’ JRPG remake of this caliber is a sight to behold. However, in my honest opinion, it could be improved a lot. Despite the praise I stated previously, it is not without imperfections. My numerous mixed feelings severely impacted my overall experience to the point I found underneath the splendor lies a stern absence of respecting the player’s time and freedom to participate in its padded nature. A shortage of quality-of-life features like a simple skip minigame(than a reduction in difficulty, from the latest patch) or lessening the involuntary barriers during linear slices. Would’ve done wonders to not forcibly engage with the long dungeons included thereby halting the pacing and breaking the momentum of the plot beats. And an ending I'm frankly disappointed at which I’ll explain more in a separate spoiler link regarding a breakdown why. Though I am glad many enjoyed this title greatly, I can't help but feel wary if I constantly fill the Square Enix’s CBUI heads with clouds of praise without fair critique. That is why I find this title enormously troublesome to rate fairly. After spending weeks bashing my head back and forth, plus reading what my friends had to say and reading those on the other side praising/enjoying/loving everything Rebirth has to offer. I am still shaking my head in distress. Furthermore, I don’t like being baited or teased endlessly, and inside the 2024 title clearly showed plenty. If you’re onboard with that and more such as exploding your suspension of disbelief at times then you will have no problem turning off your brain here. I’m still kinda looking forward to the last entry, but the bigger question I’ve been asking myself is if this remake/re-imagining is something all other companies will take heavy inspiration from and I believe they should for the right reasons. Left unsaid I hope my overall conclusion doesn’t deter the game from prospective buyers. My intention is never to be harsh on a game from which fans adore everything the remake offers. But to inform with evidence what worked well and what didn’t for me. And pray the information helps someone.

5.7/10

Additional Material:
FFVII - Rebirth Ending Analysis - good defense on why this works - ending spoilers
My spoiler thoughts on FFVII Rebirth. Every chapter breakdown - same warning as above

Ugh, where to begin. I really didn't like it! Not quite as much as I didn't like the first one, but that's saying next to nothing.

- Starting with the biggie - the story. Hey, check this out - it's an incredibly simple plot (with basic ass themes) told in the most deliberately abstruse way possible to pad it out, and which ends with no resolution whatsoever except for vague DLC/sequel bait. Quick, which Remedy game from the last fifteen years did I just describe? This house style of theirs REALLY bothers me at this point. Here, let me sum up the entire plot of this one for you:

>>Alan Wake, still trapped in a nightmare dimension following the end of the first game, has been replaced in the real world by an evil doppleganger who wants to destroy reality with a magical artifact. In an attempt to stop him, Alan makes contact with psychic FBI agent Saga Anderson and sets her on the double's trail so that she can stop him, but in so doing endangers Saga's family.<<

That's fucking it. But those two sentences are stretched out over twenty-five hours and buried under layer after layer after layer of pointless, self-indulgent obfuscation and repetition that exists to make it seem like there is a lot more going on. I find it so tiresome. And man, oh man, does this game feel long.

- Everything that's initially impressive about this game is really just fluff. Tons of cool metatextual bits and visually awesome effects and FMV and mixed media stuff (in Alan's story, especially) that is, on the surface, quite engaging - but it's not accomplishing anything! It's not saying anything new! It's not moving ANYTHING forward. It's JUST masturbation - grating even if you try to overlook how much writer Sam Lake himself is right there in the middle of it, in person. You can't just be weird and outre over and over just for the sake of it, it has to dooooooo somethinggggggg

- The combat is so bad it's baffling. Just don't have it if you can't even reach the standards of the (terrible) first game. (Seriously, just cut it! This thing is like 75% puzzle-adventure game/walking sim anyway. Just go all the way!) Nothing is balanced right, your character moves like they're underwater, all enemies are laughably spongey, you can get comboed to death in seconds with a full health bar, the dodge is SOMEHOW WORSE, and to top it off the autosave is allllllll over the place in this dumb game, so if you die (and you will) be prepared to pick up a bunch of shit over again. You can and indeed should run from most combat.

- This ostensible horror series has bravely graduated from having -literally no scares- to having ... jump scares! Tons of them! To the point where the characters voice their displeasure! Awesome.

- The woman playing Saga is flat and kinda bad I didn't buy her at all. Accent slipping all over the place, dead-eyed look the entire game (maybe a quirk of performance capture), weird line misreads. Just, nope. She doesn't have it. No juice.

- For the entire game, the emotional stakes of our player characters hinge upon threats against two of their loved ones who are people that we literally never see in person. I think you call that good storytelling.

- I like the conceit that our hero Alan is ultimately just a shitty writer and a self-centered asshole who constantly wrecks everything - that's great in theory - but that doesn't make LITERALLY RUNNING AROUND INSIDE HIS HEAD FOR TEN HOURS all that compelling

- Loads of bugs and glitches, ranging from distracting to annoying to gamebreaking. Trophies fucked up, items permanently lost, combat clipping into cutscenes leading to fail states during a chapter break, broken triggers, softlocks, fuckin seriously, you name it. Glad I paid full price for this digital-only game.

- Boy they sure have a lot of Finnish people and love their Finnish culture in this Pacific Northwest small town huh

Anyway, Remedy continues to frustrate the shit out of me. (I did enjoy CONTROL, but that was mostly for the excellent gameplay. It shares many of these same hallmark problems.) I really struggled with whether or not I was even gonna play this game after my painful run back through the remaster. And I'll tell you what, as of now I don't think you could pay me to play a sequel to this. These guys have so much potential and are thinking way outside of the box presentation-wise in ways that are really exciting. But they just cannot for the motherfucking life of them tell an actual story. I feel like someone much smarter than me could write about 50 pages on how they continually break every rule in the book, starting with not even coming close to having any kind of ending. Maybe after the astroturfed Sponsored by The Game Awards fellation period for this ends, someone will tackle it in earnest.

Meanwhile, it's Remedy who's still trapped in the REAL "Dark Place" ... lodged irretreivably up their own ass.

No Spoilers
I really really wanted to love Alan Wake II, but ironically, I feel a little bit like Alan himself seeing the wave of critical praise this game has garnered. I just can't seem to see the beautiful, magnificent meta-textual masterpiece that everyone else is enamored with, and am left in the dark... place.

In concept, this is a game made exactly for my taste, but many of the executions fall unfortunately short of the promise showed by the premise. Every cool idea was only explored in the shallowest way, and the meta-textual element got more annoying as it went along. I'm a coffee-drinking, Pacific-Northwest-living, horror-media consuming freak, and even I could see right through the paper-thin facades.

The game's visuals are absolutely arresting and the mix of live action and CG graphics are interesting enough to almost be worth the price of admission. The survival gameplay is alright and inoffensive, although nowhere close to the standard set by Resident Evil 4 earlier this year. The star of the show is clearly the narrative but I never felt truly captivated by any character or theme. I can easily tell the story wants to be about art and death and the nature of storytelling itself; perhaps a million other things could also fall under Alan Wake II's thematic banner. I'm not allergic to this kind of thing either, and am an avid fan of all the Lynch and Film Noir inspirations that Remedy so gleefully remind you they take cues from. Alan Wake II forgets that the cool trippy metatextual stuff only works when built over a base of truthful and emotional storytelling. By the time they smashed the fourth wall and the author was well beyond dead, I didn't have any interest in solving the crime of who killed him.

Sad! One of my most anticipated of 2023. I hope others enjoyed it more than I did, and it seems that they have. Despite my criticisms, the one thing you can't say about Alan Wake II is that it's phoned in, and I appreciate that. Remedy set out to make the game that they wanted to make, and although it failed for me, I'm happy that they did.

I may well one day write thousands of words resolving how this game is fundamentally opposed to every single value I hold dear in terms of writing and storytelling. The number of better works I've seen called boring or pretentious by people who would praise this game is nearly staggering enough to give me depression. It is what I feel is some of the worst writing I've ever seen praised in my entire life, and I would have truly felt I was trapped in a hell of my own making with how bad I think this is if it weren't for living with two people who thankfully agree with everything I see wrong in it. Beyond that, it may literally be the least fun I've ever had finishing a AAA video game (because normally I quit games I don't like, but I had to see this one through for reasons deeply personal to me)...but for now I'll just say this...

To me, this is as bad as a David Cage game, but if one took all of the deeply offensive conceptions of human beings, veiled hatred of women, and sloppy plot beats and traded them for a script that's 90% just the most bland exposition imaginable about the most boring story you've ever heard. It is utterly sterile, sanitized of any sincerely dangerous, risky, or unappealing emotion or human quality, saying literally nothing about human existence that isn't fit to tell a 10-year-old, all while being dressed up in enough Twin Peaks cosplay to trick someone into thinking it was actually remotely dark, horrifying, or interesting on its own merits. It is the epitome of a work demanding the audience finds it interesting while saying nothing interesting at all, and it's amazing to me how well that apparently works because it has good graphics and points a sniper scope directly at the specific weak spot in the human mind that says "this is really goofy and strange and weird, just don't think about it."

An award for "Best Narrative" is a crime against writing, and an award for "Game of the Year" is a crime against game design. Someone must get Alex Casey to look into this. I fear everyone who praises the writing or gameplay must have joined the cult that thinks Alan Wake is a good writer.

There's like a 10-hour stretch in here that works really well. The story is moving forward at an exciting pace, characters are having compelling arcs, combat really hits its stride, and it just feels so engaging to play.
But the game is longer than 10 hours, and the first 5 or so are pretty boring. Combat doesn't get a chance to shine until you have four party members, and until then you just repeat the same tiny amount of moves on the same character archetypes. The lock system also doesn't really function until you've got a full party, since breaking locks can be genuinely impossible for a lot of the early game. But, and not to sound like the stereotypical rpg fan, it really does get good about 10 hours in. Swapping out characters and utilizing the massive amount of combo attacks feels great, and SP regen is less of a slog when you can just swap to somebody with a full bar. Some of the lategame optional bosses are so fun when they're allowed to take full advantage of your full moveset.
But, to be honest, I don't really play RPGs for the gameplay. It can be great, but I come in for solid stories supported by memorable characters. And, unfortunately, Sea of Stars just doesn't always have that. The story itself is interesting enough, with some fun twists within that 10-hour chunk, but most of the characters are just so boring. Valere and Zale are the biggest point of support for the return to silent protagonists in RPGs that I've ever seen. Like, sure, they talk, but they never say anything of consequence, and talk almost identically to each other. At least with silent protagonists your mind can fill in the gaps and make them look cool. These two just give you nothing to work with. There are two standouts, though, in Garl and Resh'an, who have actually decipherable personalities and are given by far the best material to work with. I'm a sucker for "normal guy trying his best," so Garl worked for me right away, but the lore behind Resh'an is so cool and exciting that I wish the game was almost entirely about him. The game fluctuates between the interesting conversations with fun characters that games like Chrono Trigger are known for, to flat pieces of cardboard contributing nothing of value.
I can't help but sound more negative than I am about this game, because so much of it is so close to being incredible. I had a really good time with this game sometimes, and the animations and pixel art are absolutely breathtaking the whole way through. I just think the writing and pacing could have been tightened up significantly, because it really is good when it wants to be.

also the game glitched out in the final dungeon and permanently softlocked me which kinda sucks lol

I played this game for so long under the presumption that it gets better later on in the story, so this is only for ARR.

-The gameplay is boring and unbalanced (I spam dragon kick for dps, as it is overpowered)
-Ability variety is lacking compared to other RPGs
-The story is completely braindead and uninteresting.
-Cutscenes are only afforded the occasional model pivot, desynced mouth moving, and RARELY they get shitty voice acting.
-Most ARR multiplayer activities are dead. (can take hours to launch in depending on the time of day)
-Completely lacking thematic and story elements.
-Most enemies are total health sponges.
-The main plotline is filled with so much filler nonsense that it will take so much time to beat even though there is hardly anything going on (I must have spent well over 40 hours doing fetch and delivery quests).
-Monthly sub model.
-They will not shut up about fantasy politics.

If I was forced to think of anything that this game did correctly, I would say that it did a good job doing a cosmetic/transmog system.