samandmaxrgay87
2005
there's nothing left to say, not really. embarrassed that it took me until I was 23 to finally experience this masterpiece, but i'm here, and my god, is the view good on the other side. all i can do is think about how fun this journey was, and how i had a smile on my face the entire time. one of the all time greats, no question. simply beautiful
if this is my fault, i'll own up to it and change my review, but i have a feeling it won't.
the secret army of general knoxx, as i understand it, does not level with you past level 51. i played through the zombie island of dr ned first, i was a level 56 siren, and every enemy and quest was only level 51? what? i wasn't going to play through a dlc of enemies that are always 5 levels or more below me. if there's one crime borderlands dlcs can never recover from, it's not leveling alongside the player. boo
the secret army of general knoxx, as i understand it, does not level with you past level 51. i played through the zombie island of dr ned first, i was a level 56 siren, and every enemy and quest was only level 51? what? i wasn't going to play through a dlc of enemies that are always 5 levels or more below me. if there's one crime borderlands dlcs can never recover from, it's not leveling alongside the player. boo
genuinely an awful waste of time
the zombie island of dr ned dares to ask bold questions, such as: "how do you make borderlands fun with only melee enemies?" and the answer is certainly not this. this dlc is so incredibly mindless. just mowing down stupid, slow zombies. never going to play this again probably
been a fan of this series for going on 12 years now, and the original game is nothing to write home about. it is fine, serviceable. none of the abilities are that crazy, none of the guns act very unique, and the plot and characters do not stick out. it is worth playing to see the history of the games, and that's about it. this game feels like tv static. it just does nothing to impress. I'm glad it exists, but that's mostly because of what came after
2012
This review contains spoilers
after my first initial playthrough of dishonored, I was very ready to give this game like a two and a half or a 3 out of five. I chose to go for a pacifist route, ending the game with 5 kills and seeing that as some kind of loss (would have been 3 if I knew that you could spare the regent and Havelock. glad I know that now. the other 3 were either killed by mistake or by other npcs) playing as a pacifist is... boring. it sucks. the game almost teases you for being too cowardly to spill blood with how annoying the antagonists are, how many tools can only be used for strictly killing, and how pathetically high the time to knock someone out is compared to how quick slitting a throat is. it is not fun, and i didn't even get 0 kills so it sort of felt like a waste of time. so am i saying you should only do killer routes? no.
as annoying as my first playthrough was, that made the second one, an evil run, so much sweeter. when you get caught knocking someone out over and over, have piles of bodies, let the sick fucks who betrayed Emily walk away, boy does it feel so much better killing them the next time you play the game. a good run then an evil run is the best way to experience the game here. being evil in this game is so much better than being good. the game feels as though it was expressly made for evil runs, and man, did I love experiencing one.
the king of the game, is the stealth mechanics, which is like no duh, right? it's a stealth game. but it's worth repeating. dishonored's stealth feels good. teleporting around and seeing through walls and clearing out huge compounds without tripping one alarm or being seen once just feels immensely rewarding.
i played through this game twice in the past three days and i already want to play it again, that's how fun it is. but i think for now, i'm satisfied. i really want to play the second one sometime soon, i hope i get the chance. play this game with a good run then a bad one, it's the best way to play it
as annoying as my first playthrough was, that made the second one, an evil run, so much sweeter. when you get caught knocking someone out over and over, have piles of bodies, let the sick fucks who betrayed Emily walk away, boy does it feel so much better killing them the next time you play the game. a good run then an evil run is the best way to experience the game here. being evil in this game is so much better than being good. the game feels as though it was expressly made for evil runs, and man, did I love experiencing one.
the king of the game, is the stealth mechanics, which is like no duh, right? it's a stealth game. but it's worth repeating. dishonored's stealth feels good. teleporting around and seeing through walls and clearing out huge compounds without tripping one alarm or being seen once just feels immensely rewarding.
i played through this game twice in the past three days and i already want to play it again, that's how fun it is. but i think for now, i'm satisfied. i really want to play the second one sometime soon, i hope i get the chance. play this game with a good run then a bad one, it's the best way to play it
2019
I have 80 hours in this game, have not won a single time (this isn't a joke, I'm dead serious) and I literally do not have a single complaint. 'oh, why don't you review it when you actually win?' because, saying i love a game i have done nothing but fail in for 80 fucking hours is a lot more impactful of a review. risk of rain has kicked my ass over and over and over, and i can't stay away. i literally have no clue what i'm doing wrong, and i don't even care! i'll figure it out and beat the game some day. the characters i have unlocked are so unique and fun, i love the combat, and my GOD the music! i dearly love this game i have been getting skill issued at for almost one hundred hours. i have beaten mother with tainted lost in the binding of isaac btw. this is also not a joke
although i grew up with this game and i cherish it deeply, it just does not compare to arkham city. combat simply feels unfinished, and while i don't blame this game, it does still suffer for it. a bite sized, less polished arkham city. the scarecrow stuff is fun, but that's all this game has over the rest of the trilogy. asylum's biggest strength and weakness is its sequel. lead to one of my top ten games of all time, but falls short itself. an ok time, but all you'll be able to think is "i could be playing arkham city instead"
2023
lethal company is easily a 5 star rating and is probably the best co-op game since left for dead 2 and I am not joking. this game has an astoundingly well done blend of horrific dread and absurdly slapstick comedy.
I am fortunate enough to have a friend group that can take the game seriously enough to progress, but also laugh at funny shit, aka the best people to play it with. the monsters and world of lethal company are perfect, some of the creature designs are fantastic and I am dreading/ looking forward to encountering them in my own matches.
lethal company is straight forward and makes it obvious what your goal is and what tools you need, but it really feels like you and your friends are making it happen. my favorite role to play is mission control, the coward that sits in the ship and never faces any real danger. it should be boring, but keeping your team alive and maximizing profit feels so satisfying.
the game is also, hilarious, I can't leave that out. seeing your friend fall down a cliff or get dragged away by a spider almost always gets a nervous laugh out of me. everyone feels so fragile and the game's fucking stellar proximity chat is such a huge part of why it works so well. talking to your friend and they go totally quiet is such an immediately worrying feeling and it's a sense of dread no other game has ever elicited from me this strongly.
this game is the best balance of funny and scary I've seen in a very long time. I can't wait to play some more and see what other fucked up shit happens to me and my friends.
I am fortunate enough to have a friend group that can take the game seriously enough to progress, but also laugh at funny shit, aka the best people to play it with. the monsters and world of lethal company are perfect, some of the creature designs are fantastic and I am dreading/ looking forward to encountering them in my own matches.
lethal company is straight forward and makes it obvious what your goal is and what tools you need, but it really feels like you and your friends are making it happen. my favorite role to play is mission control, the coward that sits in the ship and never faces any real danger. it should be boring, but keeping your team alive and maximizing profit feels so satisfying.
the game is also, hilarious, I can't leave that out. seeing your friend fall down a cliff or get dragged away by a spider almost always gets a nervous laugh out of me. everyone feels so fragile and the game's fucking stellar proximity chat is such a huge part of why it works so well. talking to your friend and they go totally quiet is such an immediately worrying feeling and it's a sense of dread no other game has ever elicited from me this strongly.
this game is the best balance of funny and scary I've seen in a very long time. I can't wait to play some more and see what other fucked up shit happens to me and my friends.
2021
unpacking is fun.
yup, that's pretty much it. it is a fun, relaxing sorting game that did not click with me emotionally the way it did with other people, but that's ok! I enjoyed it regardless. it is a good game.
I don't wish to take away important emotional moments from other people, and I won't. this review isn't "wow you're dumb for crying to this game". if this game made you feel strong emotions, fuck yeah! I'm glad you were able to connect to this piece of art in a much more intimate way than I could, but I just can't.
it was nice to experience almost two decades of a person's life through the living spaces, but I feel no connection to this character. unpacking is neat little game though, don't get me wrong. it feels good to unpack boxes and stick stuff into your home and make it look tidy. all the satisfaction of organization with none of the work. it is a good time and it is worth your money.
yup, that's pretty much it. it is a fun, relaxing sorting game that did not click with me emotionally the way it did with other people, but that's ok! I enjoyed it regardless. it is a good game.
I don't wish to take away important emotional moments from other people, and I won't. this review isn't "wow you're dumb for crying to this game". if this game made you feel strong emotions, fuck yeah! I'm glad you were able to connect to this piece of art in a much more intimate way than I could, but I just can't.
it was nice to experience almost two decades of a person's life through the living spaces, but I feel no connection to this character. unpacking is neat little game though, don't get me wrong. it feels good to unpack boxes and stick stuff into your home and make it look tidy. all the satisfaction of organization with none of the work. it is a good time and it is worth your money.
2013
gta 5 is just ok, and I think the only reason people are so attached is that this is all we've had for over a decade, and god knows when this game will finally not be the newest gta. Obama was in fucking office when this shit came out. gta 5 was, at the time, a marvel in almost every way. graphically, mechanically, narrativ... nevermind.
yeah, I don't really feel like discussing the gameplay of gta 5. it is good. shooting and driving feel amazing, and even though there are insanely boring missions that I genuinely wish I could skip and never play, the game is mostly a fun shooting gallery, with only ten or so missions that are actually torture.
the thing I really want to talk about is how gta 5 fails on an emotional level for me. the game never takes itself seriously, and when you've been playing a game for 11 years, the charm wears off. Trevor being lol epic random loses its charm. everyone being an over the top exaggeration of sociopathic Americans loses its charm, and Lamar still fucking rocks. I don't find gta 5 funny anymore besides Lamar. genuinely the best character in the game.
so, what does gta 5 have if you don't find it funny? nothing. genuinely nothing. its story is ok, its the characters/tone where this games biggest flaws (for me personally) shine through. putting all 3 protagonists together, they take up less mental space in my mind combined than Niko from gta 4, or hell, even the dlc protags from 4 that have significantly less screen time.
every single aspect of all three characters are played for jokes. Michael is morbidly depressed and his family hates him, Trevor is severely mentally ill and was abused his entire childhood, and Franklin is a young, depressed cynic trying his best to better his situation, and none of any of those three situations are treated with any gravity.
the literal perfect example I can think of is when Niko talks about atrocities he witnessed against innocent children during his time as a soldier in eastern Europe. it's so grim I won't recount what happened to them, but the game treats it very seriously and I think about it pretty frequently. it's a raw, emotional moment. four has multiple of those. Niko finding the man that killed his comrades, someone close to Niko dying, as well as in general treating Niko's ptsd as a very real and tragic thing. the game has soul, something gta 5 intentionally leaves behind in favor of, I don't know, style and humor? nothing worth stripping away what was the best part of the last game in the franchise before this one.
I hope Rockstar learned from 5, and I would like to think they did. when is the last time you heard about any of the gta 5 protags online in gaming circles? how about Arthur Morgan from red dead 2, a game that is amazing with serious character moments. that's my point. this story is so forgettable it's sad. what a waste of something that had such immense potential. all we can do is move on and hope 6 embraces comedy AND tragedy. gta is meant to be comedic at times, and I embrace that. but five is all comedy no tragedy, and I can't pretend it isn't annoying and disappointing
also idc about gta online so this sentence is all it gets
yeah, I don't really feel like discussing the gameplay of gta 5. it is good. shooting and driving feel amazing, and even though there are insanely boring missions that I genuinely wish I could skip and never play, the game is mostly a fun shooting gallery, with only ten or so missions that are actually torture.
the thing I really want to talk about is how gta 5 fails on an emotional level for me. the game never takes itself seriously, and when you've been playing a game for 11 years, the charm wears off. Trevor being lol epic random loses its charm. everyone being an over the top exaggeration of sociopathic Americans loses its charm, and Lamar still fucking rocks. I don't find gta 5 funny anymore besides Lamar. genuinely the best character in the game.
so, what does gta 5 have if you don't find it funny? nothing. genuinely nothing. its story is ok, its the characters/tone where this games biggest flaws (for me personally) shine through. putting all 3 protagonists together, they take up less mental space in my mind combined than Niko from gta 4, or hell, even the dlc protags from 4 that have significantly less screen time.
every single aspect of all three characters are played for jokes. Michael is morbidly depressed and his family hates him, Trevor is severely mentally ill and was abused his entire childhood, and Franklin is a young, depressed cynic trying his best to better his situation, and none of any of those three situations are treated with any gravity.
the literal perfect example I can think of is when Niko talks about atrocities he witnessed against innocent children during his time as a soldier in eastern Europe. it's so grim I won't recount what happened to them, but the game treats it very seriously and I think about it pretty frequently. it's a raw, emotional moment. four has multiple of those. Niko finding the man that killed his comrades, someone close to Niko dying, as well as in general treating Niko's ptsd as a very real and tragic thing. the game has soul, something gta 5 intentionally leaves behind in favor of, I don't know, style and humor? nothing worth stripping away what was the best part of the last game in the franchise before this one.
I hope Rockstar learned from 5, and I would like to think they did. when is the last time you heard about any of the gta 5 protags online in gaming circles? how about Arthur Morgan from red dead 2, a game that is amazing with serious character moments. that's my point. this story is so forgettable it's sad. what a waste of something that had such immense potential. all we can do is move on and hope 6 embraces comedy AND tragedy. gta is meant to be comedic at times, and I embrace that. but five is all comedy no tragedy, and I can't pretend it isn't annoying and disappointing
also idc about gta online so this sentence is all it gets
the spyro reignited trilogy is a collection of quite honestly fantastic platformers and I am so glad I randomly chose to run through this trilogy, I thoroughly enjoyed my time with this, and getting these three games remastered for like 20 bucks or whatever it is is such a steal. while i don't consider any of the games perfect, this is a perfect collection. i couldn't imagine not having this in my library. now, for my individual rankings!
#1: spyro 2
spyro 2 hits the best stride of more complex levels without ruining itself with overly gimmicky bullshit. the best package in the trilogy overall, no outstanding flaws
#2: spyro 3
ruins itself with gimmicky bullshit. best spyro levels in the series but that is literally only half of the game, so stupid. also, the reward for getting to 100% is so fucking stupid.
#3: spyro 1
while ranked lower than 3, i have no strong feelings towards spyro 1. it commits the sin of just being ok. levels are simpler and it feels like there's no story in the levels like there is in 2 and 3. a fine game that i enjoy, but is overall the weakest of the trilogy
#1: spyro 2
spyro 2 hits the best stride of more complex levels without ruining itself with overly gimmicky bullshit. the best package in the trilogy overall, no outstanding flaws
#2: spyro 3
ruins itself with gimmicky bullshit. best spyro levels in the series but that is literally only half of the game, so stupid. also, the reward for getting to 100% is so fucking stupid.
#3: spyro 1
while ranked lower than 3, i have no strong feelings towards spyro 1. it commits the sin of just being ok. levels are simpler and it feels like there's no story in the levels like there is in 2 and 3. a fine game that i enjoy, but is overall the weakest of the trilogy
spyro 3, as I expected it to be before my first playthrough, is harshly bogged down by its overly gimmicky design. half of the game is gimmick levels, and while some of them are fun, some are just dreadful and guarantee that spyro 3 was ranked lower than 2. to be fair, this game isn't worthless or anything. the actual spyro levels in this game are probably the best in the series, and the backtracking feels less annoying than 2's, even if i rank 2 higher overall. you know what really cemented me not caring for 3 as strongly as 2. the fucking """"""""reward""""""" you get for 100%ing the game. more fucking gimmick levels! seriously? why?! spyro 3 was overall a fun time but i could not be fucked to get to 117%. so i guess every run i do in the future will sit at 100. whatever, that's good enough for me. not the strongest note for the trilogy to go out on, but whatever. still a worthwhile time
I haven't played through year of the dragon, but I'm pretty sure this is going to be my favorite of the trilogy even after i do. spyro 2 is the closest we have ever gotten to a perfect spyro game. the levels have more to do, the game has more personality than one, it introduces new mechanics but it doesn't drown you in them, the boss fights actually have some teeth, this game just feels like an improvement and 3 does not feel as flawless as this does. probably going to be my number one spyro game in my reignited trilogy review. so god damn solid
1998
spyro is a pretty simple game, and there's nothing wrong with that. a lot of people in the reviews for this game call it a baby game and I agree, it's not very challenging. that doesn't mean it isn't fun, however. I never played a spyro game as a kid, it was only as an adult I got around to it with the reignited trilogy, and it's so damn relaxing. just running around chill levels with beautiful music in the background. this is the only game in the trilogy with no need for backtracking, which I appreciate. you can do every level 100% the first time you get there. there isn't much to say past that. a beautiful, if easy and simple collect-athon. spyro 2 is better tho. and I'm going through 3 right now but that'll probs be better as well.