sometimes i'll replay this for a while and get to mars and feel really sad knowing theres nothing left. or ill go to the witch event and be sillypilled

There's a YouTube video uploaded 10 years ago called "The average Bioshock player" that makes fun of the lighthouse bell puzzle. There is a guy who would comment on it defending the game, and then get a bunch of replies that each said "Wait a minute, that card..." at which point he would delete his comment so that he could delete all of those replies to it, and then he would repost the comment again months later. This happened for maybe 3-4 years.

This game genuinely scared the shit out of me the first time I played it, I felt so bad because I thought I haunted my dad's PC with a ghost

Feels like it should have come out in the 90s, other than the fact that it's in widescreen. Such a novel concept, very very strange and specific thing for someone to make. I think that it's cool that Scott went through the effort of adding easter eggs with the sole purpose of freaking the player out and disturbing them upon discovery; finding out the story through inferences and detective work just makes you feel queasy rather than fulfilled due to the gruesome contents of the story as you piece it together (at least, this was how it was before the game became a joke and everyone knew the twist. im so glad i experienced this game completely blind when it first game out). I think this is the least replayable and the most dated in the series now. The designs are kind of wack but man they really got given the royal treatment with the lighting you find them in; definitely the best "renders" in the series, making foxy run at 99fps down the hallway when everyone else just teleports was such a cool decision. Freddy's office jumpscare (not the power out one) is a sleeper hit that shit rocks he hits you with the lean in and stare

This review contains spoilers

Ultimately, I am incredibly conflicted on whether or not to regard this game's quality critically or emotionally, because I have not yet as of writing this review experienced, perhaps, 90% of it. 95% of it. I have not beaten 1-4, the big turtle who is bowser keeps killing me. But I had a lot of fun getting there and dying over and over again even though I never jumped past him or underneath him because he kept stomping me or shooting me with fireballs or colliding with me with the blank black squares next to his nose that are not his nose or his head but are instead empty space but somehow still count as hitting my body, killing me instantly, because I got hit by the fire bars because my reaction speed is slow and I am unable to account for my momentum as I fly into them without being able to change course and save my life. I don't think I've even made it into 1-4 with a mushroom (being tall mario? big mario?), and I definitely have never managed to hit both the question mark block and acquire the mushroom inside, as it keeps falling out of it into the lava pit. That platform is 3 blocks wide. And it has a fire bar. I cannot cope with that platform very well. I think the speed mario moves at is exhilarating but also excruciating and infuriating and sort of overwhelming, because I cannot see the world ahead of me as he bolts ahead of my intents, sliding inevitably into a koopa probably, or into my reaction to a koopa which then causes me to jump backwards into a bottomless pit or forwards into a piranha plant. A piranha plant? A flyeating bug? A toothy vine. I heard the game has a water level where mario can jump multiple times. I have never seen it. I have played this game 3 times in my life, once as an 8 year old, once as a 12 year old, and once as a 20 year old. I am terrible at this game to the same degree at all ages, because I am autistically overstimulated by the limited sound channels and the rising sound effects that scare me. I feel like a fucking cave man.

this really was dropped on me out of nowhere, i wasn't prepared for everything this has to offer. will eagerly follow

I loathe the gameplay in this game so much which is a shame because i think the story and the artstyle really becomes fantastic in this game; those withered designs are so off-putting, puppet's simple but goated. I have to wonder why scott decided to make the next 4 games in 4:3 when the first one was in 16:9. guess he figured out i felt like the franchise came out of the 90s and committed to the bit
kind of sucks without fnaf 3 to finish the story beats it opened; i remember the theorizing and supposed epic secrets for this game were everywhere. shit sucked

i love the expansiveness but i feel like im not exploring someones dream as much as im exploring a bunch of cool locations which is also fun but not as fun as the experience of yume nikkis immersion

thinker male (rarer than sigma male)

did what fnaf 3 did for the story but again which the series really needed

the gameplay loop here is like fnaf 4's and fnaf 5's if it was actually good. i really dig this game, and listening in to the vents while staring down them scared me pretty good. i just wish some sketch figures didn't work on the art assets for it and i wish the voice acting clips werent played so often, its so cheesy and the delivery on some of them blows ass. but other than that i think it did a great job with the total clusterfuck story fnaf 4 and 5 gave it and the abysmal reputation FNAF had by the time this game silently came out

Very very novel experience. Totally different to the other FNAF games. Almost feels like a visual novel, except with the most OBNOXIOUS FUCKING CHECKPOINTS AND TIMEWASTERS in the FUCKING world. the only reason this sucks is because the minigame gameplay is so bare and boring already. Also the story is kinda wack and crazy but if youre into the scifi crap that scott loves then youll dig that side of the horror

its like doom without guns

Hopefully, after 9 years in development, etcetera etcetera. Launch TF2 is pretty boring to play now after the layers of updates its gotten adding the best maps and gameplay nuances, and I honestly think at some point in 2010-2012 it peaked more than it did at launch. Had tons of developer support creating gameplay additions, art assets and witty/genuinely funny writing for its promotional material (shorts, trailers, blog posts, whatever). It's aged pretty poorly due also to lackluster updates and pretty shitty additions as well, some really baffling stuff as Valve just slowly gave up on the delicate years-long dance of balancing and let it settle to be what it is now.

Art wise, this is probably the most fulfilled and uniquely specific concept in video games to ever come out of America. It has such a fantastic western setting and sensibility and Valve really stood out from other game developers with how mature yet indulgent the humor and style of this game is. Not completely unique as elements on their own, the Norman Rockwell / Leyendecker character designs, the impressionistic painterly environments, the decision to give game-play-distinct classes in a first-person shooter strongly defined archetypes that interact with each other in context-sensitive ways... How unbelievably immersive and transporting! There's a reason people call it timeless, they usually say something like "cel-shaded cartoon graphics," It's not just cel shading. its gooch shading and half lambertian terms and a lot of view-dependent stuff like rim lighting. its not a cartoon its a painting, DAD. It excels in a period of time in technology when, coming recently out of the more restrictive disk space and graphics capabilities of 2004's Half Life 2, the hype of maximizing the potential of systems was still in full swing, so the best of its engine was being harnessed to fully realize a live playable 3d artwork.

Gameplay, the most visceral and immediately noticeable element of the video games medium, is honestly a mixed bag. On launch there was still a lot for everyone to learn coming from the established mechanics of Team Fortress and the new quirks and intended systems of the Source engine, and also plenty of people who were new to either shooters or multiplayer shooters or just the degree of differences between each class, emphasized even more now by art direction. To skip an odd decade of balancing changes and learning and heartache, it's a lot of highs and lows.
Rocket jumping, the exhilarating, conceptually nonsensical and mechanically rich inheritance from Quake, flips one of the slowest characters into one of the scariest characters while granting you amazingly fun ways to traverse and explore an already fun to experience world. You can spend maybe hundreds or thousands of hours exploring the source engine's method of Quake Physics through just one mechanic through just one character's gun, the rocket launcher. And the sticky launcher, and the grenade launcher, and the wrangler, and the detonator, to varying degrees of success. Or take, for example, the Spy, a completely mechanically broken and easily-abused mess of hit registration problems and dated mechanics (why do backstabs not account for the Z-facing direction of either two players. This is a 3D game) that makes an easy to comprehend one-hit-kill pick class into a monstrously deep and unpredictable frustration to fight against... Assuming he doesn't miss the first hit. It's fun when you catch him with his pants down and have to play a battle of wits over the computer. Or when you come back for round two and try to suss out your own weaknesses in perception to catch him in the act. Or when you play him at all, honestly.
...On the other hand, you have a class like the Sniper. You scope in, you shoot shapely designed characters' shapely designed heads, you kill them. It's pretty simple, it doesn't even have scope sway or bullet drop-off (or any bullet physics for that matter, owing to the engine's method of bullet damage, an instantaneous laser that simply "makes damage" where it ends), and it's such a mechanically simple class that its mere existence defines and counters the rest of the games roster based purely on the player's own level of execution. Then you have the Heavy, the stalwart, moves-slow-and-shoots-a-lot tank of the cast, who protects his team by shooting... Moving... And eventually dying. (Hey, at least he's honest.) Or the Pyro, who, at launch, could only do meager damage per second and meek after-burn to someone who turned a corner without expecting him, being killed by the surprised someone anyway and hopefully, maybe, killing them because they didn't know where a health pickup was. If you see a Pyro, you walk away. If you play a Pyro, you walk that-away. Improvements like Air-blast and other more interesting unlockables contribute to this feeling that TF2, despite its long development time, still hadn't fully matured in its Gameplay until a while after release.
The maps, the world environments these individual pieces get to interact with each other in, also experienced years of maturity. While being artistically fantastic and interesting, they each stood still while the rest of the game's systems evolved without them. A sniper stands stiff on the balcony of 2Fort while an engineer turtles in the intel room. Dustbowl crowds flock through a single narrow hallway. Goldrush crowds flock through a single narrow mine-shaft. Badwater Basin... Why do people even like Badwater Basin? I just don't see the appeal. I think there's a large amount of people who, using the new "Casual" matchmaking system, only ever queue for games on half a dozen of the some-hundred maps there are to play. This is unfortunate because lobbies empty out when one game is over or vote for the same maps over and over again whether you like it or not, making you re-queue as well. Seriously, you had the system figured out already with quick play and the server browser! Official servers with map rotations where you can call a vote if a majority of everyone else is feeling up for something crazy. Community servers where whatever rules and gameplay changes they want are always going to be there. I guess I just have to be glad that still exists despite how insular, inhospitable, glitchy, barren and worn-out they all are.

Lots of people have plenty of things to say about the grace of TF2, and lots more have scathing remarks to say about its fall from said grace. The ultimate reality of the game is that, no complaining or whining or nagging or pining for a future of the game really matters, because its development cycle is done. The people who conceived it and worked on it for years leading up to release are not the same people who worked on it and maintained it for years afterwards who are also not the same scant person or two who log on to the blog to write a post about the newest workshop items added to the game. 15 years is a long time. People change, their lives change, their visions and goals for what they want to do in life and what they want to do for the world change. Even if the exact same people who all contributed to TF2's ideas, characters, shorts, maps, modes, from it's launch to its most ambitious updates, all unanimously decided to work on the game out of nowhere again with each other, they wouldn't even be the same people they were from 15 years ago, or 12 years ago, or 9 years ago, or 6 years ago. "B-b-but the community!" Is mostly stupid and weird, so no, I don't trust them to have even 1% of the tact or the resources necessary to test even the stupidest things Valve added to the game while also understanding the aesthetic and broad appeal or even the humor of the game's developers. Sorry!

Not to be a downer, it's just how it is: An almost completely perfect experience which fell to the wayside and was "finished" by its developers, not out of malice or incompetence, but mostly just that Valve was... done with it. Done with the whole game thing too I guess, lol. Now it's just VR and BCIs. Maybe the nightmare hellworld Matrix simulation will look just like my funny conga heavy game! :-D

Anyway, some things I couldn't weave into my review:
- ROBOTS! is the best part of the soundtrack and MVM is incredibly soulful and captivating as a concept and has tons of great assets made for it but doesn't really meet its full gameplay potential until you play the community maps
- The predatory gambling practices that this game did not invent but nonetheless popularize negatively influenced the entire gaming industry and created an inhospitable in-game culture around digital items which is gross and sucks. Unusual effects all look incredibly stupid and goofy and are worth HOW much money? What? Oh and now your rocket launcher costs that much too because it glows green and gives you pink horns? What?
- No one ever realizes how incredible it is that TF2 as a Triple-A company expenditure is genuinely funny. The people who worked on this game are funny and tell very funny jokes. This game from one of the highest points of a laughably openly evil industry is just made by real normal people and is largely unimpeded by boardroom politics like its contemporaries. This is a huge reason why all of its competitors fail to replicate, assume influence of or even just mimic it when what it "is" was just naturally manifested by its working conditions at Valve trying to bring a Quake mod into the current generation of video games.
- No amount of redditors singing its praises to the moon and back will trigger my contrarian reflex to say it is a bad game