You suck at parking should be about the most throwaway game ever. A simple, decent little driving indie challenge that you can crank out in a weekend and forget about. Kinda fun but dime a dozen and like a poor man's trackmania more than anything. Nothing offensive, nothing terrible, but also not particularly worth your time either. Y'know, very middle of the road indie game stuff.

And boy do the devs not recognise that. Of all fucking things, YSAP's devs thought it justified the greediest monetisation system they could possibly achieve. The game is $20, which is probably on the high end in the first place for whats on offer here, but wait! There's a $10 battlepass. Which in itself is pretty hilarious, who the fuck is going to play the game for long enough and care about the multiplayer enough - wait what do you mean there's also a paid item store.

Yes, this wet fart of a title that would be a free flash game 15 years ago copies the monetisation model of Call of Duty Warzone. It is an utterly baffling display of greed. And this game is self-published, there's no Activision blizzard to blame, and it's already on gamepass, so the devs already have a giant cheque from microsoft in the post. Utterly pathetic.

It's got a pretty addictive gameplay loop but not so addictive that the flaws and annoyances are easy to ignore. The biggest annoyance is the campaign map, which becomes an eventual annoyance when traversing, trying to find new stage areas to go to. Eventually trying to look for new levels becomes enough of a chore that the harder stages become less interesting to tackle. Worth a play through though if you are looking to get lost in a solid arcade style game.

Came back to this after writing out this first portion. Still an addicting loop, still got some frustrations to the gameplay that make the minor collecting/perfecting stuff something I'm not interested in.

How do they know?

You Suck at Parking is an arcadey little game where you have to drive a car, park it in specific locations, and then do the same for each parking spot on a level. It’s a simple concept that rapidly gets more complicated, especially if you are aiming to earn Gold where you don’t make a mistake on each level. Single-player is good, but multiplayer is going to be where you’ll want to spend time.

However you can’t partner with friends yet, but that is coming at least. The biggest problem is for a budget title like this, why are there so many microtransactions already, there are a ton of customizations to buy, a battle pass, and even a season pass, it’s too much for any 20-dollar game. It’s a shame because the base game is good, but the microtransactions leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Pick this up if you like the idea of the game. The single-player game is pretty solid, but this is the problem. It has a good single-player, or multiplayer, but the rush to microtransactions here really taints the ideas, and the battle pass popping up after almost every match to show you what you would win if you bought it is gross. Say no to Battlepasses.

If you want to see more from me: Check out my video on this last month of Game Pass games: https://youtu.be/5_7MTcN1-Ac

Um jogo de puzzle mecânico onde o objetivo é estacionar o carro nos lugares indicados. Só que você não tem freio nem marcha ré e tem que parar certinho nos pontos específicos.

Achei divertido, porém tem essa coisa dos controles serem meio ruins de propósito, porque é o ponto todo do jogo, que é algo que me frustra e passa a ser mais irritante do que divertido depois de um tempo. Me diverti por algumas horas no game pass e valeu a pena testar por lá, mas não tive vontade de jogar até o fim.

Tem um passe de batalha e compras estéticas por algum motivo. Achei uma decisão curiosa.

Simple concept, brilliant execution. Each level was more thoughtful than the last, ultimately blending puzzle-solving with extremely demanding feats of dexterity to overcome its most difficult challenges. The online multiplayer is great and delivers a completely different kind of challenge as you look to outwit and sabotage your opponents, and the whole thing is tied up in a lovely audiovisual package. Plenty of room for this game to keep growing and adding new biomes and levels — excited to see what they have in store.

Está simpático y algunos niveles son muy originales y tienen muy buen diseño. Lo que le resta a este juego son decisiones modernas que no se corresponden con el tipo de juego que es: un juego de puzles. Que el mapa sea un minimundo y tengas que desplazarte de manera tosca a los niveles y encontrarlos termina por hacerte perder una cantidad enorme de tiempo. Por otra parte el componente multijugador online no me ha tenido especial chiste y hubiese preferido una mayor duración del juego principal que es bastante corto.