Svár formy, žánru a (ne)humorů. Richardson je svéráz, který se nenechá svázat konvencemi. Jeho díla jsou vesměs bez výjimky "love it/hate it", ale stěží někoho, když už si k nim najde cestu, nechají chladným. Pokud si pamatujete ulítlé dada videohry Monty Pythonů (či Gilliamovy animované předěly z jejich tvorby), tak vizuální styl je nemlich shodný. A tak se skrze klasická díla převážně renesance a baroka jedou totální ujetosti.

A tady je první nesporný klad, proč to milovat. Jeden každý vizuální (a v podstatě i audio) gag funguje. Některé "pouze" vybudí koutky úst ke spokojenému úšklebku, některé z plna hrda rozchechtají. Rovněž rámec úkolů i děje je neméně vtipný (budete pomáhat pouličnímu rádoby kouzelníkovi, ehm ehm Ježíšovi, předvádět zázraky apod.). Co tedy kazí humornou stránku a sráží celý titul z piedestalu "surrealistický král dada šíleností a esence echt indie tvorby všem(u) navzdory"? Bohužel slovní humory. Ty jsou tristní a Richardson nemá sebemenší talent na vtipně napsané texty. Což je o to horší, že je evidentně přesvědčen, že ho má. A tak se snaží o humory v jedné každé větě; v devíti z deseti případů zamýšlená vtipnost stojí na tom, že vizuálně upjaté postavy z výtvarných klasik (pro)mluví moderní "whatsupovou" angličtinou náctiletých. Pár hlášek (doslova; během "demokratického" hlasování a u strážců brány) jich sedne, to zase ne že ne, ale ty velehory textu plného nezáměrné trapnosti jsou k nesnesení.

Aby toho nebylo málo, tak je tu spousta nosných nápadů, které však zůstaly nevytěženy. Je tu překvapivě hodně plonkových obrazovek. Nevím, zda autorovy došly finance z komunitního financování, ale jsou tu celé lokace "kde se nic neděje" (nad rámec audiovizuálního hodokvasu) a přitom přímo volají po puzzlech, postavách apod. Nebo se zničehonic dvakrát objeví nápad v podobě prolomení čtvrté stěny, je skvěle proveden, ale... Aby to skutečně fungovalo, tak by to muselo být výrazně častěji, takhle to působí jako "tohleto tam dám, tenhle nápad je super, začínám na něm dělat, ale teď mě napadlo tohle and now something completely different, tenhle je ještě lepší, jdu dělat na něm, kde jsem to jen skončil".

Pod tím vším zmíněným je to však v první řadě pravověrná klikací adventura. A velmi dobrá. Hádanky a puzzly sice v ničem nezaostávají za celkovou šíleností stylizace, ale drží po celou dobu interní logiku čili nehrozí zmatené zkoušení všeho na všechno. Některé jsou i docela nápadité, mnohé mají více cest k vyřešení. Akorát to sráží délka. Za nějaké dvě hodinky to máte dohrané i se všemi achievementy (tedy v podstatě 2x). Přitom, jak jsem již zmiňoval, hotové lokace tu jsou; jen zejí prázdnotou.

Takže ano, stejně jako předchozí Richardsonův titul je i tento nezaměnitelně svébytný. Je dobrý, je mrtě vtipný (vizuálně) i trapně nevtipný (textově) a je ostudně krátký, byt z něj celou dobu čiší, že to nebylo záměrem a cílilo se na epičtější zážitek. Richardsonovky (pokud rádi adventury) se musí zkusit, abyste věděli, zda jsou vaším šálkem kávy. A pokud nějakou zkusit, tak tuto. Je rozhodně "nejdopečenější", ale pořád je do očí bijící, že se má ještě sakra kam posouvat.

If you've already played and enjoyed Four Last Things, its a pretty safe bet you'll enjoy this game too. It has all the same fundamentals, but with an expanded scope, slightly better puzzles, and more humor.

If you haven't played the prior game (which you probably should if this is something you're interested in), then Procession to Calvary is still a decent bet. At its heart, its a simple humor-focused puzzle game built from a collage of Renaissance paintings. Its a neat premise and I think its executed here about as well as the concept can be done. Its nothing groundbreaking or amazing, but that doesn't seem to be the goal anyway. Its just a good way to kill a bit of time.

So give it a shot if it seems like something up your alley. Not much to lose anyway.

What I read about (I think it was an interview on EDGE) how the creator works is quite interesting. So basically he downloads lots of renaissance artwork from the internet and piece them together, then he makes up the story based on the result.

And the story definitely feels like it, but in this case, its inconsistency actually works as an advantage rather than a disadvantage. The inconsistency makes it almost impossible to foresee what's going to come next (both artwork and story wise) and this only adds to the silliness of the game which is what the creator was going for (I think).

Also great thing is the game doesn't overstay its welcome, taking only 2-3 hours to see more or less everything the game has to offer.

(high 7)

It's a short game, but The Procession to Calvary is one of the most stylistically unique games in the point and click adventure genre. It has just as many complex and convoluted puzzles as its other point and click peers, for better or for worse, but they're all done with a visual flair and tinge of absurdist humor that you'd struggle to compare with any other game out there.

The console port is quite lazy. Instead of adapting the gameplay to allow controller-bound players to cycle through interactable elements and control the protagonist with the, y'know, control stick, the game instead binds a cursor to the control stick and calls it a day. It's an annoyance that doesn't leave you until the game is finished. There's even a meta joke in-game that references Steam, which more than loses its impact when playing on an Xbox. If you have the choice, play this on PC.

The walking speed is also frustratingly slow. Perhaps it was to allow players to soak in the visual detail in the environments better, but for how many times you have to backtrack through the same fields and courtyards, it could add an extra hour to your playtime as you desperately try to deduce where you're headed next. It starts to feel like the game is actively punishing you for not knowing exactly where to go. Combine this with the aforementioned convolution and you'll find that the best way to experience The Procession to Calvary is with a walkthrough.

That being said, allowing a walkthrough to remove those hurdles in turn allows you to appreciate the game's art and animation even better. You can simply indulge in the music and humor without getting numb to it through repetition. Stopping to appreciate that the naked man on a spit is actually 3 or 4 different paintings animated together is one of the best things about the game, reminding you how laborious it must have been for the dev to actually put such a unique renaissance fever dream together. There's even a gallery room you can access that showcases many of the original paintings that were used to craft the game's interactive collages.

The Procession to Calvary is a reminder that Amanita Design aren't the only ones putting a particularly creative visual spin on point and click games. If I have to spend an obnoxiously long time going through the same screens again and again, then at least I can pretend like I've been perusing museum galleries in Florence for the last few hours.

This games is build with passion, patience and silliness in mind. Based only on medieval and renaissance paintings this point and click adventure is a feast of goofiness. Following the quest of Bellona to kill Saint Peter and bring back war, we encounter several biblical figures and motives, entangled in quirky situations ranging from face palming stupid to meta-clever. Solo developer Joe Richardson is not shy, to break the fourth wall to make fun not only about the protagonist, but the developer and the player as well. The pretty flat and direct humor a la Monty Python meets a unique and elaborate art-style, which makes you shake your head more than once and if you look closely, is loaded with so many hidden references. Gameplaywise it is a basic point and click, with solid puzzles and some stretches of serious backtracking. The characters we meet are simultaneously tragic and silly and the music we are listining is on the edge of authentic and utterly nerve-racking. When you pick up this game, expect a self-referential black humored satire, which focuses on delivering a unique style to cover up a stupid plot and a basic gameplay experience. But man, this game will stick to your brain, I can guarantee!

The follow up to Four Last Things, this point and click is very much in that same vein with its absurdist Pythonesque humour. It’s very short but if you dig this kind of funny (which I very much do) then you’re in for a good time. My only sticking point is the puzzles which like a lot of old school point and clicks can seem rather obtuse and require you to really think outside of the box (or try everything with everything sometimes) to get a solution. This can lead to some frustrations but tbh the short run time and gags will offset most of it.
I recommend it for point and click fans, people with a great sense of humour and a bit of patience.

The developer of this, Joe Richardson (A game by Joe Richardson) has taken renaissance art and classical music available in the public domain and edited it all together to create an incredibly unique looking collaged style. Even the name 'The Procession to Calvary' is a painting from 1564 by artist Pieter Brugel. I'm not an art critic by any means so only recognized a couple of paintings used whilst playing, only one of which I could have named, but the style and stop motion-esque animation really make it stand out to almost any game I've played in some time.

You play the role of...lets call her Bellona from one of Rembrandt's paintings. She is a blood thirsty warrior who is disappointed the holy war is won. She can stop killing! The problem is she likes killing. Bellona manages to convince the newly crowned Immortal John to let her go South on one last mission to kill the leader of the other faction, Heavenly Peter! The game is at no point meant to be taken seriously and I must admit I laughed out loud on several occasions during this bonkers escapade. It's like a mixture of Monty Python and Terry Pratchett and often left me with a smile on my face at some of the witty dialogue or plain daft situations. Though if you're easily offended I would stay away as the humour is often dark with few limits in what it mocks.

Speaking of Terry Pratchett, gameplay wise it's a point and click adventure similar to Discworld, Monkey Island or Broken Sword. Most of the puzzles are fairly logical though at times I got a little stumped in what to do but often there is something to give you a hint unless you are an impatient spanner and skip the dialogue. It's fairly short once you actually figure out what you are doing and by the developers own admission is pretty niche, but it's my type of niche.

Recommended if you want some thing a bit weird, amusing or absurd.

The Procession to Calvary is a point and click adventure game that tries to copy Monty Python a little too much. I’m all for dark humor and that was pretty much why I played the game, but I felt it was more morbid than hilarious. It got exhausting to hear all the jokes about torture, homicide, and Jesus being a cult leader. Maybe my expectations were a little high, and I know the game takes place during the medieval times, but I thought the jokes would be a little more creative. I will admit I did have a chuckle or two, but when I did it was pretty far and between. I will say that game’s art design and characters that revolved around historical paintings was a nice touch. The game does offer some challenging puzzles, I found myself stuck several times figuring out how to solve them. However, once you know the solutions to all the puzzles, the game is extremely short for your replays as they don’t randomize.

Pros:
+art designs based on real medieval paintings
+easy 100% achievement list

Cons:
-tries way too hard to be funny
-too short