To put my thoughts of Bayonetta 3 one way, let’s just say… this is like the video game equivalent of a well constructed house with a stable foundation that’s filled with interior design choices that I’m just not a fan of lmao.
When this game was coming out I admittedly didn’t have too much interest in it largely because of me just not having played the first two games at the time, but after playing both of them earlier this year and really enjoying them, I figured… well, why not pick up the third game? I had heard relatively mixed things about Bayonetta 3 compared to it’s predecessors but, hey, as long as the core gameplay and combat of the first two games was still there, it’d be enough to satisfy me.
And on that note, I would say it did… mostly. The core gameplay of Bayonetta 1 and 2 is still very much intact - in some ways even more fleshed out than in the first two games. The combat especially still feels really good and satisfying, still carrying over all the combos and moves that the game really encourages you to experiment with especially with it’s grading system, on top of even greater weapon variety that’s oozing with a lot of creativity and just overall insanity in the best way possible. I guess I could complain a little bit that this game doesn’t give you the option to equip different weapons to Bayonetta’s hands and feet but it doesn’t really bother me that much.
There’s not too much I can say on that note that I didn’t say about the first two games, but if anything that’s really just a positive, since combat-wise, this really follows the trend of taking what worked about the first game and fleshing it out more with more techniques, combos and weapons to add to the already fast-paced and in-depth gameplay. And in times when the game was purely focused on combat without any extra gimmicks or anything, I can say that I had about as much fun as I did with the first two games for the most part.
Problem is, I specifically said in times when the game was purely focused on combat because, unfortunately, the rest of the game is kind of a mixed bag. I wouldn’t say there was much of anything here that was particularly bad (except for… certain elements), and as a whole, I’d still say Bayonetta 3 was a good game altogether, but compared to the first two games, I would definitely say this game’s lows were lower and more frequent than what they offered that it kinda took it down a few notches for me as a whole package.
The story is probably the biggest thing about this game that’s been scrutinized and frankly it’s for a good reason. I wouldn’t necessarily say the first two games are particular bastions of good storytelling or anything, but in both cases they were entertaining and in general focused on what they were going for. Bayonetta 1 did feel a bit hard for me to follow at times, but there was just that overall concept of exploring this whole mystery of Bayonetta’s backstory and worldbuilding, and Bayonetta 2 upping the stakes with a bit of a clearer goal.
Bayonetta 3 kinda fails to do any of this for me. The game particularly utilizes the ‘multiverse’ concept, which at first I felt was sort of out of place but especially after talking about it a little bit with a certain friend of mine from the r/Sonic server, I realized that the issue isn’t so much that it’s out of place (in fact, with how much insanity is in the world of Bayonetta the multiverse is something that theoretically should fit right in) but rather it’s just not utilized very well. The closest the game comes to actually using the multiverse concept well is with the French version of Bayonetta and maybe the part during the final boss when both of the versions of Bayonetta from the previous games come in to fight, but these are both later in the game, and for the most part it just basically just feels like “what if Bayonetta BUT FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY?” I mean, come on, Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time already did it smh.
And beyond that the plot just feels pretty unfocused and meandering. I noticed with this game there was a greater emphasis on story and in general the ratio of cutscenes to gameplay felt a lot bigger than in the first two games, and I wouldn’t have so much of an issue with this, if there was just… stuff going on. The cutscenes just feel drawn out in general, and with a lack of a clear focus on an endgoal or overall ‘theme’, it made the story feel a lot less engaging than either of its predecessors, and half the time I just found myself forgetting about the ‘Alphaverse’ goal.
That isn’t even to mention the ending which didn’t really make me angry, just… really confused. Everything about it just felt completely out of left field with the story doing basically nothing to build up to it’s conclusion. Without spoiling too much, I will say I like Viola well enough as a character but I don’t feel like her ascension felt ‘earned’ in that she had any sort of major character arc in which that would be the pay-off, and as a result it just feels… forced more than anything. And speaking of things that were forced… Bayonetta/Cereza being in a certain relationship with a certain character is something that also felt like it had no build up to it even factoring in the first two games and their interactions.
I also really gotta say, I still don’t know what they were going for with this whole side plot about Bayonetta lying to people about being underpaid and then proceeding to ask her supporters to donate to an anti-abortion charity.
Gameplay-wise I already talked about the combat but, of course, there is more to the game than that with a good amount of new features added. I do have to give them that they did at least do a lot to try and flesh out the formula instead of just sticking to the same tricks as the first two games, but at the same time, the additions they made to the gameplay are pretty… mixed. There are some ideas I really like here but the execution of those ideas isn’t too great.
Probably the most notable new addition is the Demon Slave mechanic where the game gives you different Infernal Demons to choose from that you can summon in battle and control to attack enemies. Truth is there are uses for this mechanic that I actually quite like. Particularly I really liked how you could intersperse them within your combos and use them either to stun enemies that are immune to Bayonetta’s normal attacks, or use them for a final blow, which certainly felt pretty satisfying at times.
But when it comes to their combat on their own… ehh yeah I’m not a fan. Not only do the mechanics feel a lot more limited than what you can do as Bayonetta herself, but in practice it just feels incredibly sluggish and clunky, at times outright disorienting since the camera is still focused on Bayonetta rather than any of the creatures which is especially compounded with all the things that come on screen at times. I guess you could just say I don’t have to use it in combat but… unfortunately that’s kind of untrue especially if you’re going for the best scores and medals since the game often incentivizes you, at times basically requiring you to use it with certain enemies with shields, lots of health or as I said, immune to your normal attacks without at least stunning them.
Not to mention there’s times where certain demons are used to just progress through the level either through a ‘gimmick’ section or just solving puzzles, and even in the latter case a lot of the puzzles just feel kind of there as a secondary justification of the infernal demon mechanics (you have to aim the bird at the fans… cool, I guess?). Even some of the demon puzzles that are more interesting conceptually suffer because the controls of the Infernal Demons aren’t too great as it is. Like, the train is cool and all but it feels like it just halts your gameplay and the way the tracks basically appear automatically one after the other make it kind of difficult to ‘aim’ the train… which, well, you sometimes need to do to take out multiples of those nest things to progress through certain sections.
To backtrack a bit though, I mentioned ‘gimmick’ sections and… yeah that’s also a problem have with this game. One thing I criticized the first game for was how the gimmick sections it had (the motorcycle and Space Harrier sections to be specific) felt overly drawn out at times, and while there’s nothing here that’s quite as bad/drawn out as the Space Harrier section of the first game, I feel like they’re way more frequent here in general than in either of its predecessors and none of them are particularly… good. Granted there’s none that made me feel annoyed or frustrated or anything, but there’s the 2D Jeanne ‘side chapters’ where you take control of her in some Metal Gear Solid gameplay which didn’t feel that interesting and all of these levels just blended together in my head, a rhythm minigame boss (again, Sly Cooper already did it smh), the Godzilla ass boxing matches with sluggish controls, a boss where you fight the enemy by trapping it in bubbles (???) among others. Admittedly, none of them felt particularly bad or anything (except for maybe the Godzilla fights) but… they’re not great either, and they largely just made the game feel bogged down when I just wanted to get back to the actual combat itself. I already mentioned how the story felt unfocused, but all the different gimmick sections this game offers manages to make the gameplay feel unfocused on top of that.
There’s also Viola as a new playable character, and while I liked her well enough in the story, her gameplay just kind of feels like Bayonetta but worse. There’s not really any variation in her playstyle compared to Bayonetta’s, with the only exception being that she has her own ‘Infernal Demon’ in the form of Cheshire that Bayonetta doesn’t have… which is also the only one she can equip, but other than that, the few ways they try to differentiate her from Bayonetta feel inconsequential at best and just worse than Bayonetta at… worst. Like, instead of activating Witch Time by dodging, you activate it by blocking, which… all that really does is confuse me when I’m going between them. It also means that Bayonetta and Viola both have their own health and magic meters, which you have to upgrade through the skills menu rather than having them upgrade automatically. But considering you play as Bayonetta way more frequently than Viola I don’t really feel like there’s much of a reason to upgrade at least beyond one or two levels.
The stage design also kind of takes a turn for the worse in my opinion. I do respect them adding a little quality-of-life improvement in that you can show a ‘waypoint’ to give you direction for where you need to go, but in the context of this game it feels like something they added to solve a problem that was introduced by this game. What I mean by that is, it feels like the stages are built to be ‘bigger’ in scope but feel both confusing and pretty empty at the same time. Like the other games there are collectibles sprinkled throughout each level to incentivize exploration, but with how big and empty the stages can feel at times, I just didn’t have the motivation to really go out of my way and search for stuff for the most part, and beyond that the levels didn’t really feel like they offered any particular ‘setpieces’ or design elements in general to make them stand out from one another (which is even more odd considering this is a game with the multiverse concept and stages based off of different parts of the world… again, underutilizing the concept).
I mean even the hidden challenge verses don’t feel quite as well designed or interesting as the original. At best they just feel kind of there, pretty inconsequential, and at worst they can be pretty tedious and annoying rather than actually challenging. Pretty much all of the ‘tricky terrain’ challenges felt annoying with the dash mechanic feeling hit-or-miss and let’s just say the less I talk about Chapter 10 Verse 1 the better.
Also, if I complained about Bayonetta 2 Wii U being pretty all over the place performance-wise, well… Bayonetta 3 is even worse. While I like the art style for what it is here, it does feel somewhat dull in its color palette compared to Bayonetta 2 and the textures are pretty low quality, which is mindboggling because good lord the framerate can be all over the place. I use the term ‘can be’ specifically since it did mostly seem to run at 60FPS, but there were a pretty non-insignificant amount of times where I just immediately noticed slowdown and frame drops that stuck out like a sore thumb. Like, I get the Switch was never the most powerful console or anything, but I can’t help but feel like they could’ve optimized the game more to run more consistently.
Now, I know I’m sounding pretty negative with this review overall, but let me be clear - I still enjoyed my time with Bayonetta 3. This is a similar situation with Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time where at the end of the day, the core gameplay of it’s predecessors is still very much there, and definitely still really fun. I mean, the combat is a large part of what made the Bayonetta games appealing, and all things considered that aspect is just as fun as it was in those previous titles. It’s just that this game has more flaws to it than it’s predecessors and they definitely stick out to me more than the games I had played up to this point - so of course I’m going to have more to talk about with them. But despite all my issues, I would still recommend this if you enjoyed the first two games (albeit maybe not for $60), as it is still a well-made hack-and-slash even if it’s issues do take it a few notches down for me compared to Bayonetta 1 and 2.
When this game was coming out I admittedly didn’t have too much interest in it largely because of me just not having played the first two games at the time, but after playing both of them earlier this year and really enjoying them, I figured… well, why not pick up the third game? I had heard relatively mixed things about Bayonetta 3 compared to it’s predecessors but, hey, as long as the core gameplay and combat of the first two games was still there, it’d be enough to satisfy me.
And on that note, I would say it did… mostly. The core gameplay of Bayonetta 1 and 2 is still very much intact - in some ways even more fleshed out than in the first two games. The combat especially still feels really good and satisfying, still carrying over all the combos and moves that the game really encourages you to experiment with especially with it’s grading system, on top of even greater weapon variety that’s oozing with a lot of creativity and just overall insanity in the best way possible. I guess I could complain a little bit that this game doesn’t give you the option to equip different weapons to Bayonetta’s hands and feet but it doesn’t really bother me that much.
There’s not too much I can say on that note that I didn’t say about the first two games, but if anything that’s really just a positive, since combat-wise, this really follows the trend of taking what worked about the first game and fleshing it out more with more techniques, combos and weapons to add to the already fast-paced and in-depth gameplay. And in times when the game was purely focused on combat without any extra gimmicks or anything, I can say that I had about as much fun as I did with the first two games for the most part.
Problem is, I specifically said in times when the game was purely focused on combat because, unfortunately, the rest of the game is kind of a mixed bag. I wouldn’t say there was much of anything here that was particularly bad (except for… certain elements), and as a whole, I’d still say Bayonetta 3 was a good game altogether, but compared to the first two games, I would definitely say this game’s lows were lower and more frequent than what they offered that it kinda took it down a few notches for me as a whole package.
The story is probably the biggest thing about this game that’s been scrutinized and frankly it’s for a good reason. I wouldn’t necessarily say the first two games are particular bastions of good storytelling or anything, but in both cases they were entertaining and in general focused on what they were going for. Bayonetta 1 did feel a bit hard for me to follow at times, but there was just that overall concept of exploring this whole mystery of Bayonetta’s backstory and worldbuilding, and Bayonetta 2 upping the stakes with a bit of a clearer goal.
Bayonetta 3 kinda fails to do any of this for me. The game particularly utilizes the ‘multiverse’ concept, which at first I felt was sort of out of place but especially after talking about it a little bit with a certain friend of mine from the r/Sonic server, I realized that the issue isn’t so much that it’s out of place (in fact, with how much insanity is in the world of Bayonetta the multiverse is something that theoretically should fit right in) but rather it’s just not utilized very well. The closest the game comes to actually using the multiverse concept well is with the French version of Bayonetta and maybe the part during the final boss when both of the versions of Bayonetta from the previous games come in to fight, but these are both later in the game, and for the most part it just basically just feels like “what if Bayonetta BUT FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY?” I mean, come on, Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time already did it smh.
And beyond that the plot just feels pretty unfocused and meandering. I noticed with this game there was a greater emphasis on story and in general the ratio of cutscenes to gameplay felt a lot bigger than in the first two games, and I wouldn’t have so much of an issue with this, if there was just… stuff going on. The cutscenes just feel drawn out in general, and with a lack of a clear focus on an endgoal or overall ‘theme’, it made the story feel a lot less engaging than either of its predecessors, and half the time I just found myself forgetting about the ‘Alphaverse’ goal.
That isn’t even to mention the ending which didn’t really make me angry, just… really confused. Everything about it just felt completely out of left field with the story doing basically nothing to build up to it’s conclusion. Without spoiling too much, I will say I like Viola well enough as a character but I don’t feel like her ascension felt ‘earned’ in that she had any sort of major character arc in which that would be the pay-off, and as a result it just feels… forced more than anything. And speaking of things that were forced… Bayonetta/Cereza being in a certain relationship with a certain character is something that also felt like it had no build up to it even factoring in the first two games and their interactions.
I also really gotta say, I still don’t know what they were going for with this whole side plot about Bayonetta lying to people about being underpaid and then proceeding to ask her supporters to donate to an anti-abortion charity.
Gameplay-wise I already talked about the combat but, of course, there is more to the game than that with a good amount of new features added. I do have to give them that they did at least do a lot to try and flesh out the formula instead of just sticking to the same tricks as the first two games, but at the same time, the additions they made to the gameplay are pretty… mixed. There are some ideas I really like here but the execution of those ideas isn’t too great.
Probably the most notable new addition is the Demon Slave mechanic where the game gives you different Infernal Demons to choose from that you can summon in battle and control to attack enemies. Truth is there are uses for this mechanic that I actually quite like. Particularly I really liked how you could intersperse them within your combos and use them either to stun enemies that are immune to Bayonetta’s normal attacks, or use them for a final blow, which certainly felt pretty satisfying at times.
But when it comes to their combat on their own… ehh yeah I’m not a fan. Not only do the mechanics feel a lot more limited than what you can do as Bayonetta herself, but in practice it just feels incredibly sluggish and clunky, at times outright disorienting since the camera is still focused on Bayonetta rather than any of the creatures which is especially compounded with all the things that come on screen at times. I guess you could just say I don’t have to use it in combat but… unfortunately that’s kind of untrue especially if you’re going for the best scores and medals since the game often incentivizes you, at times basically requiring you to use it with certain enemies with shields, lots of health or as I said, immune to your normal attacks without at least stunning them.
Not to mention there’s times where certain demons are used to just progress through the level either through a ‘gimmick’ section or just solving puzzles, and even in the latter case a lot of the puzzles just feel kind of there as a secondary justification of the infernal demon mechanics (you have to aim the bird at the fans… cool, I guess?). Even some of the demon puzzles that are more interesting conceptually suffer because the controls of the Infernal Demons aren’t too great as it is. Like, the train is cool and all but it feels like it just halts your gameplay and the way the tracks basically appear automatically one after the other make it kind of difficult to ‘aim’ the train… which, well, you sometimes need to do to take out multiples of those nest things to progress through certain sections.
To backtrack a bit though, I mentioned ‘gimmick’ sections and… yeah that’s also a problem have with this game. One thing I criticized the first game for was how the gimmick sections it had (the motorcycle and Space Harrier sections to be specific) felt overly drawn out at times, and while there’s nothing here that’s quite as bad/drawn out as the Space Harrier section of the first game, I feel like they’re way more frequent here in general than in either of its predecessors and none of them are particularly… good. Granted there’s none that made me feel annoyed or frustrated or anything, but there’s the 2D Jeanne ‘side chapters’ where you take control of her in some Metal Gear Solid gameplay which didn’t feel that interesting and all of these levels just blended together in my head, a rhythm minigame boss (again, Sly Cooper already did it smh), the Godzilla ass boxing matches with sluggish controls, a boss where you fight the enemy by trapping it in bubbles (???) among others. Admittedly, none of them felt particularly bad or anything (except for maybe the Godzilla fights) but… they’re not great either, and they largely just made the game feel bogged down when I just wanted to get back to the actual combat itself. I already mentioned how the story felt unfocused, but all the different gimmick sections this game offers manages to make the gameplay feel unfocused on top of that.
There’s also Viola as a new playable character, and while I liked her well enough in the story, her gameplay just kind of feels like Bayonetta but worse. There’s not really any variation in her playstyle compared to Bayonetta’s, with the only exception being that she has her own ‘Infernal Demon’ in the form of Cheshire that Bayonetta doesn’t have… which is also the only one she can equip, but other than that, the few ways they try to differentiate her from Bayonetta feel inconsequential at best and just worse than Bayonetta at… worst. Like, instead of activating Witch Time by dodging, you activate it by blocking, which… all that really does is confuse me when I’m going between them. It also means that Bayonetta and Viola both have their own health and magic meters, which you have to upgrade through the skills menu rather than having them upgrade automatically. But considering you play as Bayonetta way more frequently than Viola I don’t really feel like there’s much of a reason to upgrade at least beyond one or two levels.
The stage design also kind of takes a turn for the worse in my opinion. I do respect them adding a little quality-of-life improvement in that you can show a ‘waypoint’ to give you direction for where you need to go, but in the context of this game it feels like something they added to solve a problem that was introduced by this game. What I mean by that is, it feels like the stages are built to be ‘bigger’ in scope but feel both confusing and pretty empty at the same time. Like the other games there are collectibles sprinkled throughout each level to incentivize exploration, but with how big and empty the stages can feel at times, I just didn’t have the motivation to really go out of my way and search for stuff for the most part, and beyond that the levels didn’t really feel like they offered any particular ‘setpieces’ or design elements in general to make them stand out from one another (which is even more odd considering this is a game with the multiverse concept and stages based off of different parts of the world… again, underutilizing the concept).
I mean even the hidden challenge verses don’t feel quite as well designed or interesting as the original. At best they just feel kind of there, pretty inconsequential, and at worst they can be pretty tedious and annoying rather than actually challenging. Pretty much all of the ‘tricky terrain’ challenges felt annoying with the dash mechanic feeling hit-or-miss and let’s just say the less I talk about Chapter 10 Verse 1 the better.
Also, if I complained about Bayonetta 2 Wii U being pretty all over the place performance-wise, well… Bayonetta 3 is even worse. While I like the art style for what it is here, it does feel somewhat dull in its color palette compared to Bayonetta 2 and the textures are pretty low quality, which is mindboggling because good lord the framerate can be all over the place. I use the term ‘can be’ specifically since it did mostly seem to run at 60FPS, but there were a pretty non-insignificant amount of times where I just immediately noticed slowdown and frame drops that stuck out like a sore thumb. Like, I get the Switch was never the most powerful console or anything, but I can’t help but feel like they could’ve optimized the game more to run more consistently.
Now, I know I’m sounding pretty negative with this review overall, but let me be clear - I still enjoyed my time with Bayonetta 3. This is a similar situation with Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time where at the end of the day, the core gameplay of it’s predecessors is still very much there, and definitely still really fun. I mean, the combat is a large part of what made the Bayonetta games appealing, and all things considered that aspect is just as fun as it was in those previous titles. It’s just that this game has more flaws to it than it’s predecessors and they definitely stick out to me more than the games I had played up to this point - so of course I’m going to have more to talk about with them. But despite all my issues, I would still recommend this if you enjoyed the first two games (albeit maybe not for $60), as it is still a well-made hack-and-slash even if it’s issues do take it a few notches down for me compared to Bayonetta 1 and 2.
esse jogo é uma confusão de ideias jogadas sem o desenvolvimento necessário para se tornarem profundas o suficiente para consagrá-lo como o melhor de sua franquia, porém a pura realização de compacta-las o bastante para caber no tablet da nintendo já é um feito épico por si só, e a possibilidade de joga-las é ainda mais insano.
This review contains spoilers
The combat, fluid gameplay, new characters and massive number of combos are the “fresh air” that the saga needed. The enemies and storyline are fine, but the touch of hopeless final at the end of the game throw all that development through the window. I hope that Bayonetta 4 fix it.
would have been less of a bummer if it wasn't for those Strider boss fights that remind you that this game could've been fun if it was a Bayonetta game instead of Kamiya's Shitty Minigame & Scalebound Leftovers Collection.
this game let me down but valorant existed so this is automatically peak
Everyone's too harsh on this game! Sure, the level design sucks, the demon summons are boring and trivialize the satisfying combo system this series is known for, the combo system is at its worst here, the visuals are dogwater, Viola isn't fun to play, Jean's sections suck, and the story is offensively terrible, but....hm
Hack n slash gostoso e direto, a historia não entendi muito bem e não se da o trabalho de explicar de forma de talhada mas a gameplay é gostosa demais.
(CLAP, CLAP!) SHIP REVIEW!
Since there's two characters in Bayonetta 3, you get two different jokes. Hallelujah. This game is what I like to call the “Seven Sirens Syndrome” (a term coined by the wonderful @yuzrnaime).
…Bayonetta 3. What. In the absolute FUCK was pre-release period for this game??? Bayonetta 3 was announced at the nigh end of 2017, and while the trailer looked intriguing (most notably with Bayonetta straight up dying in the trailer, too), we didn't see any gameplay for over 4 years, only getting held over with the “Oh, don't worry, it's not canceled frfr”. And then out of nowhere, in September of 2021, we FINALLY got the first trailer, and yeah, I was pretty hyped. Time passed, Hellena Taylor hurled accusations at Platinum Games, no more Hellena Taylor, boycott Bayonetta 3 because she was underpaid, oh wait, she lied, revenge-buy Bayonetta 3. Oh, wait, THAT WAS A MISTAKE, TOO. This game's prerelease was a disaster, and that summarizes most of my thoughts on Bayonetta 3, unfortunately. You can tell that this game went through an extremely troubled development. For a game which took 5 years, it feels very... off-putting. Not bad, of course, it's still a Platinum Games title at the end of the day, but something just doesn't click with me that Bayonetta 1 and 2 did. But, with that being said, it's time to discuss why Bayonetta 3 is easily the weakest title in the series. Frequent rant warning, folks. This one’s gonna be a bumpy ride...
Right off the bat, Bayonetta 3 starts AMAZINGLY, much like the previous games. While it’s not as action packed, it leaves a surprisingly lasting impression that’s actually somewhat emotional. In the first battle, Bayonetta is doing her stereotypical Bayonetta thing. Fighting and fighting, until the bitter end against a dark entity, but UNLIKE usual, she’s eating straight ass. It’s a great contrast between the hyper action packed intros of before, as it has that action, but it’s definitely neutered compared to before. Fitting the tone, Bayonetta straight up DIES. Like, flat-out, shattered into the red orbs of Devil May Cry. Hey, point the gun away from your head, I want to hear Platinum out first, for as much as I can in this genuine shit show. Cut to Sigurd, some random soldier who I presume is close to Viola, a Saints Row 2022 looking-ass character, where Bayonetta’s… something is absorbed into Viola. The entity kills Sigurd off too, leaving Viola alone. With that, Viola retreats into… fucking Manhattan??? Hey, my dad grew up in New York, so I appreciate the shout out, but the city, alongside a girl who looks ODDLY like Cereza, and a guy who sounds AWFULLY like Enzo, are all completely fine, and that’s when I realized, that combined with the monologe about branching paths in the intro, that Bayonetta 3 is a fucking multiverse story. A MULTIVERSE STORY in BAYONETTA. Shit, man. Bayonetta 1 and 2 never had the greatest story to begin with (hence why I barely talked about them), so I’m flabbergasted as to why they even attempted this in the third entry, no less. But hey, let’s hold our “Shit Within”. Maybe it’ll actually be good? NOPE!!! Okay, so Cereza (we’ll call her that for the time being), and… Eggman, alongside… Rodin (i don’t have a good name sorry)??? are all New Yorker-ized, just your average day. But of course, this is a Bayonetta game, so shit gets WACKY! Rodin notices a storm approaching, and Cereza activates her Spider Within to hear someone calling for help. She says something about… a destined time and date to Eggman, as they arrive at a cruise ship dock. Cereza, being Cereza, dresses up for the occasion, and god. I can’t help but notice already.
These graphics are so disappointing, man. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that even Bayonetta 1 looked better; hell, at least it had a consistent style from beginning to end. Bayonetta 2 followed suit, being extremely colorful with incredibly detailed environments, and made one of the best looking Wii U and Nintendo Switch games. 3 looks rather rough in comparison. It’s not ugly per-se, but it’s far below the quality of other Nintendo-produced (or at the very least ASSISTED) games on the Nintendo Switch. Shit, if you squint enough, it looks like Sonic Frontiers on Switch. The first 2 Bayonettas look great, and still do to this day, but 3 looks and feels a lot worse to play. The frame pacing in cutscenes is rather nauseating, the shadows look off on the characters, and overall, I’d say that the models fall far below the quality of Bayonetta 2’s. Not to mention, the really bad frame drops on Switch. I played on Yuzu as I’ve previously said, but I’ve heard horror stories about Bayonetta 3 on Switch. A shame, really. Because we have so many great looking games on Switch, some even coming from Platinum themselves. Astral Chain, Metroid Prime Remastered, Super Mario Odyssey, Luigi’s Mansion 3, Smash Ultimate, some of the best looking Switch games, with most having rock solid performance too. Hell, Bayonetta 3 is one of those Switch games that run at a sub-720p resolution in handheld mode and it looks REALLY fucking rough. I don’t understand why so many Switch games run at sub-720 in handheld mode when they support well above that in Docked Mode. That’s a leg up on Bayonetta 1 and 2 being locked to 720p Docked on Switch, but those games were also 720p on Handheld, the way it should be. You lose an incredible amount of visual clarity without it as the Switch is a decently sized display, and on Handheld, it just looks awful. And seeing Bayonetta 3 still struggle to run on real hardware with THESE kinds of visuals, noticeable pop-in in tow, is quite disappointing to me. Hell, emulators still struggle to maintain a solid FPS with it. Once again, I played on an emulator (using Ryujinx this time, Yuzu kept crashing), and while 2 maintained a solid FPS throughout, Bayonetta 3 was LAG CENTRAL. Hell, it stopped working at a certain point (I needed to enable Vulkan + Texture compression). Nintendo really needs to step up their hardware, because when it’s hurting such a high profile release, it’s very sad to see. But, gripes aside, back to the story.
Viola quite literally falls on Enzo, demanding to see Bayonetta once mor- SUDDENLY, FLOOD! How in the FUCK did nobody notice it until now? What, did Flood Watches not exist in this tim- SUDDENLY, RODIN! Comes up and smacks the ever loving fuck out of the demon who made the flood occur. Bayonetta rides the cruise ship on top of the flood, and you know the drill by now. Bayonetta dances her way through the enemies, clothes get cut, BAYONETTA COMBAT TIME!!! Oh, and Moonlight Serenade. Not as good as Fly Me To The Moon or Moon River, but I still really like it.
Bayonetta 3’s combat mechanics are… solid. At least, in theory. As said nearly a hundred times over at this point, Bayonetta 3 returns with the delay based combos, present in Bayonetta 2, 1, and Devil May Cry. Weapons return from Bayonetta 2, but the Umbran Climax has been reworked into a “Demon Slave” mechanic, summoned by the power of the left trigger. Bayonetta 2’s Umbran Climax was fun, but incredibly overpowered. Bayonetta received a constant stream of health, with her attacks all being turned into devastating Wicked Weaves. In Bayonetta 3, the strength element remains, but leaves Bayonetta vulnerable as the demon only stays out as she dances, while the monster attacks for Bayonetta. Hence the term, Demon Slave. I appreciate the added combat strategy, as Umbran Climax was far lacking in that, but Demon Slave is a bit more skill based, akin to V from DMCV, I felt rather disconnected from combat when I used it. It’s theoretically a little better than Bayonetta 2’s Umbran Climax, but… it still doesn’t feel all that great. If anything, I kind of preferred 2’s because you always felt like the badass slaying all of the monsters. Instead, you get a demon to do the dirty work? Lame! And that also somehow makes Bayonetta 3 BY FAR the easiest in the franchise. I barely died, outside of challenges and the like. It’s SUPER fucking easy, and I played on Hard Mode on my first playthrough, too. Bayonetta 3’s enemies are woefully pathetic. Even on Hard mode, they were shockingly slow and easy to kill. No longer do they resist you like Bayonetta 2, you can wail on them to your heart’s content, and by god, these designs just flat out suck. They all blend in, all being built on the same, boring, robotic designs. Additionally, they removed the item caps from the shop, a dumb as hell move on the developer’s part. And since, like Bayonetta 2, there are no punishments for using items, you can haul absolute ASS in this game. At least Bayonetta 2 tried to limit your items, and while that didn't solve the issue with items and scoring, it still felt well balanced. But with the currency divided between upgrades, costumes, and items in Bayonetta 3 (an idea that’s not bad on paper), items are of little risk to buy since your upgrades don’t suffer from it. Item prices needed to be tuned all the way up, or the items had to be severely nerfed for this to be a good change. Bayonetta 1 and 2’s currency forced you to understand the game’s combat in order to get more skills. If you were good at the game, the Concoction Menu still let you get items for free; hell, I bet some of you never even knew Concoction existed until now. Buying items directly takes away from your currency in which you buy even better techniques from. In Bayonetta 3, this fact is of no issue. I bought 20 goddamn MEGA herbs at the end of the SECOND mission, and still had a lot more money to spare. THAT alone proves how easy Bayonetta 3 is. Want 8 Hot Shots for practically nothing? There you go, you’re practically immortal, now! Because of this, I was basically on autopilot for the entire journey, because the game is so easy to break. Big hit? Oh, just use my 9 million Herbs that I have! Hard Mode, my ass. What we need is a “Witch Must Die” mode or something, as the Bayonetta series gets disappointingly easier with each game. As it stands, Bayonetta 3 is easily a contender for my least favorite in the series for this fact alone. Sure, Bayonetta was a pretty brutal game, and Bayonetta 2 had issues with scoring, but it always put up a good fight. Bayonetta 3, once again, fails to live to the standards of 1 and 2, by being one of the easiest games ever released. You could argue that Bayonetta 3 is meant to introduce newcomers I guess, but even then, Bayonetta 2 did a better job at that. This leaves Bayonetta 3 unengaging for a large majority of it's runtime, and it unfortunately only gets worse from here on out.
Although the Demon Slave has several fatal flaws, to give Bayonetta 3 a genuine compliment, they do something kind of cool with this, where your demons are linked to the weapon you use. Neat shit. It’s a bit more limiting than Bayonetta 2, as you had hands and foot slots, but I’ll… allow it to slide. JUST this once. The weapons themselves are as solid as Bayonetta 2’s, in my eyes, although the variety isn’t as strong. My personal favorite was the yoyos, which provide an excellent balance between close-quarters and mid-ranged attacks. I usually never used the big club, which did great damage but was slow as fuck, because unless you made Devil May Cry 5, it’s usually not my favorite pick for an action game weapon. But the rest are fun, and I did like experimenting with them. And, oh yeah. Torture attacks are now gone too, now you just press 2 buttons, and bam. It's better flowing, but it still feels… so unlike Bayonetta. I don’t know how to say i- SUDDENLY, JEANS! Sporting a more hippie attire, she fights with Bayonetta against this large, tentacle monster thingy, before promptly getting eaten alive by some Penis Flytrap. Damn, is this fucking Endgame? They’re killing everyone like it’s nothing! Oh, nevermind, Jeans is saved by Madame Butterf- SUDDENLY, GIANT FISH? Before getting smacked by a massive building, never to be seen again. What was the point of that??? Anyways, after the massive flood, Cereza, Eggman, Jeans, and Rodin retreat to The Gates of Hell to watch the news, or something. Yeah, Eggman straight up LOST his entire family in that flood. Anyways, Viola introduces the entire multiverse structure, they can't manually control it but they go to Thule where all of the universes lie... IDK. I was already tuned out, man. Anyways, soon enough, Variant Bayonetta in this universe, she’s a super high tech yoyo spider wield- aaaand she dies anyways. Cool. Cut to one of the worst minigames in the entire series, then, the Monster Fighting Game. I don’t know how they made a fighting game character with slower attacks than Ganondorf, but hey, you do you. Then cut to THE worst mini game in the series... FUCKING. KHAKI. JEANS.
Yes, in Bayonetta 3, there are fucking 2D STEALTH MISSIONS. Bayonetta, you sure are one mysterious destiny. Nope, we can’t make her playable in the mainline story, eat shit, Jeanne. All you do is walk around, one shot everything, bam, move on with your life while you do... stuff. Are these supposed to be funny or something? It’s not funny enough to warrant FOUR ENTIRE CHAPTERS to this braindead nonsense. It’s SO boring and tedious, that this is where I started to lose all hope for Bayonetta 3 EVER being better than 1 and 2. And unfortunately, Bayonetta 3 never gets better from those very lofty heights.
Because eventually, you have to play as Viola... and this is. Fine. Not bad, not great, just. Okay. Okay, so unlike Bayonetta, she wields a Katana, and only has one Demon Slave, Chesire, who automatically attacks alongside Viola. Okay... not really that different than Bayonett- WHAT IN THE FUCK IS HER WITCH TIME??? She has to PARRY attacks, which REALLY fucks with my muscle memory, and her combo game is bland. Unlike Bayonetta, who actually has fun mechanics, even in 3, Viola genuinely has NO SAUCE. No fun combo game, no other abilities, nothing! She’s so lame, man. She’s not different enough to warrant a whole ass character, and her playstyle is even worse than Bayonetta’s. Because of this, Viola is easily one of the worst characters in action game history. She’s so MID. Fuck, man. Each time I played as her, I let out a giant, massive SIGH, man. And BTW, she’s so FUCKING annoying. “my name is v-i-o-l-a VIOLA!!!!” Shut UP, man.
And, of course this wouldn't be a Bayonetta 3 review without mentioning the godawful story and ending. Oh my god, that fucking ending, man. It's so BAD. Okay, so after Jeanne dies (LMFAOOOOOO), Bayonetta fights Singularity, but out of fucking NOWHERE, is assisted by all of the Bayonettas from across the multiverse… before including two different Bayonettas... from BAYONETTA 1 and 2... and then Bayonetta 1 and 2 merge with 3- what the fuck??? Did Umbran Witches have this ability all along? And then Bayonetta 3 (the third incarnation of Bayonetta) dies after the fight with Singularity because she exhausted her strength (Persona 3, much?)so now all Bayonettas are dead, but then Luka... hugs Bayonetta... oh, Christ almighty... they both die... that’s it??? WHAT IN THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?!? Okay, first of all, the elephant in the room. Bayonetta’s sexuality. Folks, I know that Bayonetta was hailed as our Lesbian Queen prior to Bayonetta 3, where she flirted with Jeanne, LIVED TOGETHER with he- what the fuck??? You’re telling me after Bayonetta 2, after Bayonetta quite LITERALLY went to HELL and BACK just to save her that they’re just good FRIENDS??? Okay, I guess they never had an active relationship on screen, I guess, and I was mostly pissing around with the “lesbianism” jokes of the earlier reviews. But the same could be as equally said for LUKA, and before you say I’m bi-phobic or some shit (cough cough Gayming), hear me out, as a bisexual myself. First of all, I don’t object to Bayonetta having a heterosexual relationship, but what I DO object to is Luka’s lack of character development. WHO in the Story department put this fucking JIZZER with Bayonetta??? In Bayonetta 1 and 2, they never went past teasing, but Bayonetta did that with EVERYBODY. Luka made an ass out of himself because he WANTED that ass, but Bayonetta never felt the same way! That was the joke! Like Amy and Sonic, it was played off as a simple joke. But you're telling me that it's Knuckles and Rouge now? Bitch, please! They have borderline NO chemistry throughout the entire game. If Bayonetta and Luka were going to “Hit The Climax!”, let's say, then their relationship needed to matter a WHOLE lot more throughout the game. Better yet, why doesn't Viola chat with her Mother before she's banished to Inferno. No??? SHE JUST SITS THERE WATCHING ON??? OKAY!
Thirdly, this presents a fatal flaw in how Viola even EXISTS to begin with. Okay, so let's say, hypothetically, Bayonetta and Luka... fucked. Okay, that's one thing. But that presents a major problem. WHO'S VARIANTS ARE VIOLA’S PARENTS??? It CAN'T be the Luka we see; otherwise, why would Bayonetta 3 accept a kiss from a complete STRANGER? And, either way, if Bayonetta 3 was the mother of Viola, she would certainly recognize her own child in the prologue, no??? If in the grand scheme of things, Luka and Bayonetta were destined to be, and Luka and Bayonetta are destined to give birth to Viola (which isn’t even true based on the variant Bayonettas being seen without Luka), then where are Viola’s variants??? I’d doubt that Luka himself would be able to time travel, fucking everybody in the neighborhood, my guy just followed Bayonetta! Yeah, if you couldn't tell, THIS STORY FUCKING SUCKS. And I'm not done just yet, finally, WHERE DID THE OTHER TWO BAYONETTAS COME FROM? I can buy that variants exist in a multiverse story, believe me. Spiderverse 2 is amongst my favorite movies of all time. But isn't this the fated day where Singularity wins? You mean to tell me that Bayonetta 1 and 2 were two different timelines? THAT'S BULLSHIT. Bayonetta 2 takes place a few months after the first one. You mean to tell me that (the character) Bayonetta 1 time traveled a few months back only for Singularity to fuck shit up during that time? You mean to tell me Bayonetta 3 is a completely separate entity from the other Bayonettas? Sure, Bayonetta has done time travel before, but hasn't broken its own rules to such an extent. Maybe this has something to do with Bayonetta: Bloody Fate, but THAT’S an adaptation, NOT a different story line. Sure, in Bayonetta 1, Bayonetta did help Cereza go back to her own timeline, which was referenced in Bayonetta 2, but that was a ONE. TIME. OCCURRENCE! This is amongst the most PRETENTIOUS stories that I've ever seen in GAMING, with its head stuck up its own ass for most of the runtime. It GENUINELY pisses me off that they decide to kill off Bayonetta AND Jeanne, two INCREDIBLY PREVALENT CHARACTERS IN THE SERIES with ZERO payoff, nor EMOTION to this scene. Nobody gains ANYTHING from it, there’s no character arc completion, no shocking character revelations, NOTHING. Bayonetta dies, Viola cries, GET FUCKED. Well for one exception. Viola is Bayonetta now, hooray, and good lord, the franchise’s story is now ultimately fucked for what it's worth. This story is a crowning achievement of bullshittery that happens once in a few millennia. Bayonetta 1 and 2’s story were not impressive, yes, but Bayonetta 3 takes it to an astronomical level of pure awfulness that not even die-hard Bayonetta fans can appreciate for its absurdity. Just... WHY A MULTIVERSE STORY? It’s SO hard to get right, and when Bayonetta 1 and 2 weren’t great stories by any means, you’re only asking for the bitter disappointment of fans, and thats what fans got! We waited 8 YEARS, just for this. Bayonetta 3 is genuinely one of the worst stories that I’ve EVER SEEN. It’s ABYSMAL. They never do ANYTHING fun with fthe Multiverse setup. Outside of the first cutscene, there’s nothing interesting or intriguing about the world. Bayonetta and company just go through the motions because they’re the main characters in the Video game called Bayonetta 3 for the Nintendo Switch, released on October 28th, 2022, available for $59.99 MSRP. They don't give a fuck, clearly. Why should I? The only time I smiled at the concept was with the pseudo-rhythm game near the end of Chapter 12, but other than that, Bayonetta 3 humor rolls straight ones throughout its painfully short runtime. Who the FUCK cares about all of these different Bayonettas dying when we’ve only seen them for FIVE. SECONDS!!! There’s no payoff, no emotional impact, NOTHING AT ALL. “Ohhhhh, but they come into the final battle for like 3 seconds,” NEAT SHIT!!! And even if there was, we already KNOW what’s going to happen to all of them, because they all died ON SCREEN consistently. They NEVER do anything clever with this setup, maybe save for Bayonetta 3 nearly dying, but that’s supposed to happen. After all, the game is called Bayonetta 3! Not “Viola”, or “Rodin”! And, even then, if ANYBODY in the world cares about all these variants dying, I’ll be DAMNED if it was Bayonetta 3 (the character). She never goes, “Oh shit, with all of these other Bayonettas dying, I might be next!!!” She never runs in and tries to save the others, does she do ANYTHING of value? NO! She just carries along, lets the Bayonetta die, not even reflecting on any of the Bayonettas, when the first one she saw, got torn in TWO RIGHT, IN FRONT OF HER EYES! I don’t know how you go to HELL AND BACK to save your BEST FRIEND/LOVER (IN MY HEART), but lack ANY SORT OF EMPATHY, NOR THE BALLS TO SAVE THE OTHER UMBRAN WITCHES. Oh, what did Bayonetta do before, for the record? Defeat OTHER, stronger Umbran Witches and Lumen Sages, and beat Aesir and Jubelius’s, giant, GODDESS ASS! Is she fucking scared or something??? How did she fend for her own reality all this time??? It’s DUMB! It’s simply. DUMB. This story is fucking stupid, simple as that. Do yourself a favor, press Plus, Up, A whenever a cutscene pops up. It’s so awful and not worth subscribing to. Avoid it like the plague. It accomplishes absolutely NOTHING through it's 9 hour runtime, probably fucks up the future Bayonetta stories, too, and it just flat out fucking sucks overall. It's truly THAT BAD. Actually, back to that comment of “probably fucks up the future Bayonetta stories, too”, apparently, Hideki Kamiya, one of the founding fathers of the Umbran Witch, wanted to make nine entries in the Bayonetta series overall, but… uh oh! Kamiya left Platinum Games in September of 2023. So… yikes. Platinum Games got dealt the worst cards here. I really hope that with the release of future Bayonetta games, that they greatly improve the story. Apparently, Bayonetta Origins has a much improved narrative, but I haven't played it, so all that I can say is that we'll see. But now, it's time for the conclusion.
And folks, that story simply set me over the edge. I’ve never rated a game lower for its story alone, but call me petty, because Bayonetta 3 cleared that bar of absolute TERRIBLENESS, enough for me to rate it a 5/10, when the BARE MINIMUM was shattered. I didn’t care about the stories of Bayonetta 1 and 2, but if anything should be said about Bayonetta 3’s abysmal story, it's that it’s a one of a kind, absolutely nonsensical story that actually made me give a shit about how bad it was. But hey, if you skip the cutscenes, the game is like a 6/10 dw :). But, seriously, Bayonetta 3 is the low point of the franchise. Do I even need to say anything more at this point? I’ve already bitched about the story for several Google Doc pages on end, how it’s gameplay is good on paper but any substance nor appeal surrounding it, surprisingly more so than Bayonetta 2, which had “WIN BUTTON THE GAME MECHANIC”, and how it’s just a mess overall. Yes, there are several things I liked about Bayonetta 3. The combat mechanics of the older games are still there (albeit neutered), the level design is still solid as always, and the music is still great albeit different, but when everything else that surrounds those good elements is middling at best and when it's been done so much better in Bayonetta 1 and 2, I can only give so much praise, man. It’s definitely not the worst game I’ve ever played (hello, Super Meat Boy Forever), but it’s among the most disappointing, if not, the most disappointing. It has its moments, yes, in fact, the Chapter 4 Boss was really fun! But the good heavily outweighs the bad, and leaves me thoroughly mixed on the game as a whole. I don't have any urge to replay this game at all, hell, I didn't even go for the portals since it was so easy to abuse items, so I’ll leave it at that. I don't like saying “Why would you play this when you can play (another game in series)”, because that feels weirdly disrespectful in my eyes as most games still offer different experiences, but Bayonetta 3 offers nothing of value to the Bayonetta franchise. 1 and 2 are infinitely better, and more worth your time. For now, at least. Because next up is Bayonetta Origins, the one that not even Bayonetta fans played! And it's one that I haven't even played, either. I at least played Bayonetta 1 and 2 a bit and I watched videos on Bayonetta 3, so I knew what I was getting into, but I've seen nothing about Bayonetta Origins. Apparently it's a fun game, but you'll have to wait for the review on that one. So, until next time, folks!
Since there's two characters in Bayonetta 3, you get two different jokes. Hallelujah. This game is what I like to call the “Seven Sirens Syndrome” (a term coined by the wonderful @yuzrnaime).
…Bayonetta 3. What. In the absolute FUCK was pre-release period for this game??? Bayonetta 3 was announced at the nigh end of 2017, and while the trailer looked intriguing (most notably with Bayonetta straight up dying in the trailer, too), we didn't see any gameplay for over 4 years, only getting held over with the “Oh, don't worry, it's not canceled frfr”. And then out of nowhere, in September of 2021, we FINALLY got the first trailer, and yeah, I was pretty hyped. Time passed, Hellena Taylor hurled accusations at Platinum Games, no more Hellena Taylor, boycott Bayonetta 3 because she was underpaid, oh wait, she lied, revenge-buy Bayonetta 3. Oh, wait, THAT WAS A MISTAKE, TOO. This game's prerelease was a disaster, and that summarizes most of my thoughts on Bayonetta 3, unfortunately. You can tell that this game went through an extremely troubled development. For a game which took 5 years, it feels very... off-putting. Not bad, of course, it's still a Platinum Games title at the end of the day, but something just doesn't click with me that Bayonetta 1 and 2 did. But, with that being said, it's time to discuss why Bayonetta 3 is easily the weakest title in the series. Frequent rant warning, folks. This one’s gonna be a bumpy ride...
Right off the bat, Bayonetta 3 starts AMAZINGLY, much like the previous games. While it’s not as action packed, it leaves a surprisingly lasting impression that’s actually somewhat emotional. In the first battle, Bayonetta is doing her stereotypical Bayonetta thing. Fighting and fighting, until the bitter end against a dark entity, but UNLIKE usual, she’s eating straight ass. It’s a great contrast between the hyper action packed intros of before, as it has that action, but it’s definitely neutered compared to before. Fitting the tone, Bayonetta straight up DIES. Like, flat-out, shattered into the red orbs of Devil May Cry. Hey, point the gun away from your head, I want to hear Platinum out first, for as much as I can in this genuine shit show. Cut to Sigurd, some random soldier who I presume is close to Viola, a Saints Row 2022 looking-ass character, where Bayonetta’s… something is absorbed into Viola. The entity kills Sigurd off too, leaving Viola alone. With that, Viola retreats into… fucking Manhattan??? Hey, my dad grew up in New York, so I appreciate the shout out, but the city, alongside a girl who looks ODDLY like Cereza, and a guy who sounds AWFULLY like Enzo, are all completely fine, and that’s when I realized, that combined with the monologe about branching paths in the intro, that Bayonetta 3 is a fucking multiverse story. A MULTIVERSE STORY in BAYONETTA. Shit, man. Bayonetta 1 and 2 never had the greatest story to begin with (hence why I barely talked about them), so I’m flabbergasted as to why they even attempted this in the third entry, no less. But hey, let’s hold our “Shit Within”. Maybe it’ll actually be good? NOPE!!! Okay, so Cereza (we’ll call her that for the time being), and… Eggman, alongside… Rodin (i don’t have a good name sorry)??? are all New Yorker-ized, just your average day. But of course, this is a Bayonetta game, so shit gets WACKY! Rodin notices a storm approaching, and Cereza activates her Spider Within to hear someone calling for help. She says something about… a destined time and date to Eggman, as they arrive at a cruise ship dock. Cereza, being Cereza, dresses up for the occasion, and god. I can’t help but notice already.
These graphics are so disappointing, man. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that even Bayonetta 1 looked better; hell, at least it had a consistent style from beginning to end. Bayonetta 2 followed suit, being extremely colorful with incredibly detailed environments, and made one of the best looking Wii U and Nintendo Switch games. 3 looks rather rough in comparison. It’s not ugly per-se, but it’s far below the quality of other Nintendo-produced (or at the very least ASSISTED) games on the Nintendo Switch. Shit, if you squint enough, it looks like Sonic Frontiers on Switch. The first 2 Bayonettas look great, and still do to this day, but 3 looks and feels a lot worse to play. The frame pacing in cutscenes is rather nauseating, the shadows look off on the characters, and overall, I’d say that the models fall far below the quality of Bayonetta 2’s. Not to mention, the really bad frame drops on Switch. I played on Yuzu as I’ve previously said, but I’ve heard horror stories about Bayonetta 3 on Switch. A shame, really. Because we have so many great looking games on Switch, some even coming from Platinum themselves. Astral Chain, Metroid Prime Remastered, Super Mario Odyssey, Luigi’s Mansion 3, Smash Ultimate, some of the best looking Switch games, with most having rock solid performance too. Hell, Bayonetta 3 is one of those Switch games that run at a sub-720p resolution in handheld mode and it looks REALLY fucking rough. I don’t understand why so many Switch games run at sub-720 in handheld mode when they support well above that in Docked Mode. That’s a leg up on Bayonetta 1 and 2 being locked to 720p Docked on Switch, but those games were also 720p on Handheld, the way it should be. You lose an incredible amount of visual clarity without it as the Switch is a decently sized display, and on Handheld, it just looks awful. And seeing Bayonetta 3 still struggle to run on real hardware with THESE kinds of visuals, noticeable pop-in in tow, is quite disappointing to me. Hell, emulators still struggle to maintain a solid FPS with it. Once again, I played on an emulator (using Ryujinx this time, Yuzu kept crashing), and while 2 maintained a solid FPS throughout, Bayonetta 3 was LAG CENTRAL. Hell, it stopped working at a certain point (I needed to enable Vulkan + Texture compression). Nintendo really needs to step up their hardware, because when it’s hurting such a high profile release, it’s very sad to see. But, gripes aside, back to the story.
Viola quite literally falls on Enzo, demanding to see Bayonetta once mor- SUDDENLY, FLOOD! How in the FUCK did nobody notice it until now? What, did Flood Watches not exist in this tim- SUDDENLY, RODIN! Comes up and smacks the ever loving fuck out of the demon who made the flood occur. Bayonetta rides the cruise ship on top of the flood, and you know the drill by now. Bayonetta dances her way through the enemies, clothes get cut, BAYONETTA COMBAT TIME!!! Oh, and Moonlight Serenade. Not as good as Fly Me To The Moon or Moon River, but I still really like it.
Bayonetta 3’s combat mechanics are… solid. At least, in theory. As said nearly a hundred times over at this point, Bayonetta 3 returns with the delay based combos, present in Bayonetta 2, 1, and Devil May Cry. Weapons return from Bayonetta 2, but the Umbran Climax has been reworked into a “Demon Slave” mechanic, summoned by the power of the left trigger. Bayonetta 2’s Umbran Climax was fun, but incredibly overpowered. Bayonetta received a constant stream of health, with her attacks all being turned into devastating Wicked Weaves. In Bayonetta 3, the strength element remains, but leaves Bayonetta vulnerable as the demon only stays out as she dances, while the monster attacks for Bayonetta. Hence the term, Demon Slave. I appreciate the added combat strategy, as Umbran Climax was far lacking in that, but Demon Slave is a bit more skill based, akin to V from DMCV, I felt rather disconnected from combat when I used it. It’s theoretically a little better than Bayonetta 2’s Umbran Climax, but… it still doesn’t feel all that great. If anything, I kind of preferred 2’s because you always felt like the badass slaying all of the monsters. Instead, you get a demon to do the dirty work? Lame! And that also somehow makes Bayonetta 3 BY FAR the easiest in the franchise. I barely died, outside of challenges and the like. It’s SUPER fucking easy, and I played on Hard Mode on my first playthrough, too. Bayonetta 3’s enemies are woefully pathetic. Even on Hard mode, they were shockingly slow and easy to kill. No longer do they resist you like Bayonetta 2, you can wail on them to your heart’s content, and by god, these designs just flat out suck. They all blend in, all being built on the same, boring, robotic designs. Additionally, they removed the item caps from the shop, a dumb as hell move on the developer’s part. And since, like Bayonetta 2, there are no punishments for using items, you can haul absolute ASS in this game. At least Bayonetta 2 tried to limit your items, and while that didn't solve the issue with items and scoring, it still felt well balanced. But with the currency divided between upgrades, costumes, and items in Bayonetta 3 (an idea that’s not bad on paper), items are of little risk to buy since your upgrades don’t suffer from it. Item prices needed to be tuned all the way up, or the items had to be severely nerfed for this to be a good change. Bayonetta 1 and 2’s currency forced you to understand the game’s combat in order to get more skills. If you were good at the game, the Concoction Menu still let you get items for free; hell, I bet some of you never even knew Concoction existed until now. Buying items directly takes away from your currency in which you buy even better techniques from. In Bayonetta 3, this fact is of no issue. I bought 20 goddamn MEGA herbs at the end of the SECOND mission, and still had a lot more money to spare. THAT alone proves how easy Bayonetta 3 is. Want 8 Hot Shots for practically nothing? There you go, you’re practically immortal, now! Because of this, I was basically on autopilot for the entire journey, because the game is so easy to break. Big hit? Oh, just use my 9 million Herbs that I have! Hard Mode, my ass. What we need is a “Witch Must Die” mode or something, as the Bayonetta series gets disappointingly easier with each game. As it stands, Bayonetta 3 is easily a contender for my least favorite in the series for this fact alone. Sure, Bayonetta was a pretty brutal game, and Bayonetta 2 had issues with scoring, but it always put up a good fight. Bayonetta 3, once again, fails to live to the standards of 1 and 2, by being one of the easiest games ever released. You could argue that Bayonetta 3 is meant to introduce newcomers I guess, but even then, Bayonetta 2 did a better job at that. This leaves Bayonetta 3 unengaging for a large majority of it's runtime, and it unfortunately only gets worse from here on out.
Although the Demon Slave has several fatal flaws, to give Bayonetta 3 a genuine compliment, they do something kind of cool with this, where your demons are linked to the weapon you use. Neat shit. It’s a bit more limiting than Bayonetta 2, as you had hands and foot slots, but I’ll… allow it to slide. JUST this once. The weapons themselves are as solid as Bayonetta 2’s, in my eyes, although the variety isn’t as strong. My personal favorite was the yoyos, which provide an excellent balance between close-quarters and mid-ranged attacks. I usually never used the big club, which did great damage but was slow as fuck, because unless you made Devil May Cry 5, it’s usually not my favorite pick for an action game weapon. But the rest are fun, and I did like experimenting with them. And, oh yeah. Torture attacks are now gone too, now you just press 2 buttons, and bam. It's better flowing, but it still feels… so unlike Bayonetta. I don’t know how to say i- SUDDENLY, JEANS! Sporting a more hippie attire, she fights with Bayonetta against this large, tentacle monster thingy, before promptly getting eaten alive by some Penis Flytrap. Damn, is this fucking Endgame? They’re killing everyone like it’s nothing! Oh, nevermind, Jeans is saved by Madame Butterf- SUDDENLY, GIANT FISH? Before getting smacked by a massive building, never to be seen again. What was the point of that??? Anyways, after the massive flood, Cereza, Eggman, Jeans, and Rodin retreat to The Gates of Hell to watch the news, or something. Yeah, Eggman straight up LOST his entire family in that flood. Anyways, Viola introduces the entire multiverse structure, they can't manually control it but they go to Thule where all of the universes lie... IDK. I was already tuned out, man. Anyways, soon enough, Variant Bayonetta in this universe, she’s a super high tech yoyo spider wield- aaaand she dies anyways. Cool. Cut to one of the worst minigames in the entire series, then, the Monster Fighting Game. I don’t know how they made a fighting game character with slower attacks than Ganondorf, but hey, you do you. Then cut to THE worst mini game in the series... FUCKING. KHAKI. JEANS.
Yes, in Bayonetta 3, there are fucking 2D STEALTH MISSIONS. Bayonetta, you sure are one mysterious destiny. Nope, we can’t make her playable in the mainline story, eat shit, Jeanne. All you do is walk around, one shot everything, bam, move on with your life while you do... stuff. Are these supposed to be funny or something? It’s not funny enough to warrant FOUR ENTIRE CHAPTERS to this braindead nonsense. It’s SO boring and tedious, that this is where I started to lose all hope for Bayonetta 3 EVER being better than 1 and 2. And unfortunately, Bayonetta 3 never gets better from those very lofty heights.
Because eventually, you have to play as Viola... and this is. Fine. Not bad, not great, just. Okay. Okay, so unlike Bayonetta, she wields a Katana, and only has one Demon Slave, Chesire, who automatically attacks alongside Viola. Okay... not really that different than Bayonett- WHAT IN THE FUCK IS HER WITCH TIME??? She has to PARRY attacks, which REALLY fucks with my muscle memory, and her combo game is bland. Unlike Bayonetta, who actually has fun mechanics, even in 3, Viola genuinely has NO SAUCE. No fun combo game, no other abilities, nothing! She’s so lame, man. She’s not different enough to warrant a whole ass character, and her playstyle is even worse than Bayonetta’s. Because of this, Viola is easily one of the worst characters in action game history. She’s so MID. Fuck, man. Each time I played as her, I let out a giant, massive SIGH, man. And BTW, she’s so FUCKING annoying. “my name is v-i-o-l-a VIOLA!!!!” Shut UP, man.
And, of course this wouldn't be a Bayonetta 3 review without mentioning the godawful story and ending. Oh my god, that fucking ending, man. It's so BAD. Okay, so after Jeanne dies (LMFAOOOOOO), Bayonetta fights Singularity, but out of fucking NOWHERE, is assisted by all of the Bayonettas from across the multiverse… before including two different Bayonettas... from BAYONETTA 1 and 2... and then Bayonetta 1 and 2 merge with 3- what the fuck??? Did Umbran Witches have this ability all along? And then Bayonetta 3 (the third incarnation of Bayonetta) dies after the fight with Singularity because she exhausted her strength (Persona 3, much?)so now all Bayonettas are dead, but then Luka... hugs Bayonetta... oh, Christ almighty... they both die... that’s it??? WHAT IN THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?!? Okay, first of all, the elephant in the room. Bayonetta’s sexuality. Folks, I know that Bayonetta was hailed as our Lesbian Queen prior to Bayonetta 3, where she flirted with Jeanne, LIVED TOGETHER with he- what the fuck??? You’re telling me after Bayonetta 2, after Bayonetta quite LITERALLY went to HELL and BACK just to save her that they’re just good FRIENDS??? Okay, I guess they never had an active relationship on screen, I guess, and I was mostly pissing around with the “lesbianism” jokes of the earlier reviews. But the same could be as equally said for LUKA, and before you say I’m bi-phobic or some shit (cough cough Gayming), hear me out, as a bisexual myself. First of all, I don’t object to Bayonetta having a heterosexual relationship, but what I DO object to is Luka’s lack of character development. WHO in the Story department put this fucking JIZZER with Bayonetta??? In Bayonetta 1 and 2, they never went past teasing, but Bayonetta did that with EVERYBODY. Luka made an ass out of himself because he WANTED that ass, but Bayonetta never felt the same way! That was the joke! Like Amy and Sonic, it was played off as a simple joke. But you're telling me that it's Knuckles and Rouge now? Bitch, please! They have borderline NO chemistry throughout the entire game. If Bayonetta and Luka were going to “Hit The Climax!”, let's say, then their relationship needed to matter a WHOLE lot more throughout the game. Better yet, why doesn't Viola chat with her Mother before she's banished to Inferno. No??? SHE JUST SITS THERE WATCHING ON??? OKAY!
Thirdly, this presents a fatal flaw in how Viola even EXISTS to begin with. Okay, so let's say, hypothetically, Bayonetta and Luka... fucked. Okay, that's one thing. But that presents a major problem. WHO'S VARIANTS ARE VIOLA’S PARENTS??? It CAN'T be the Luka we see; otherwise, why would Bayonetta 3 accept a kiss from a complete STRANGER? And, either way, if Bayonetta 3 was the mother of Viola, she would certainly recognize her own child in the prologue, no??? If in the grand scheme of things, Luka and Bayonetta were destined to be, and Luka and Bayonetta are destined to give birth to Viola (which isn’t even true based on the variant Bayonettas being seen without Luka), then where are Viola’s variants??? I’d doubt that Luka himself would be able to time travel, fucking everybody in the neighborhood, my guy just followed Bayonetta! Yeah, if you couldn't tell, THIS STORY FUCKING SUCKS. And I'm not done just yet, finally, WHERE DID THE OTHER TWO BAYONETTAS COME FROM? I can buy that variants exist in a multiverse story, believe me. Spiderverse 2 is amongst my favorite movies of all time. But isn't this the fated day where Singularity wins? You mean to tell me that Bayonetta 1 and 2 were two different timelines? THAT'S BULLSHIT. Bayonetta 2 takes place a few months after the first one. You mean to tell me that (the character) Bayonetta 1 time traveled a few months back only for Singularity to fuck shit up during that time? You mean to tell me Bayonetta 3 is a completely separate entity from the other Bayonettas? Sure, Bayonetta has done time travel before, but hasn't broken its own rules to such an extent. Maybe this has something to do with Bayonetta: Bloody Fate, but THAT’S an adaptation, NOT a different story line. Sure, in Bayonetta 1, Bayonetta did help Cereza go back to her own timeline, which was referenced in Bayonetta 2, but that was a ONE. TIME. OCCURRENCE! This is amongst the most PRETENTIOUS stories that I've ever seen in GAMING, with its head stuck up its own ass for most of the runtime. It GENUINELY pisses me off that they decide to kill off Bayonetta AND Jeanne, two INCREDIBLY PREVALENT CHARACTERS IN THE SERIES with ZERO payoff, nor EMOTION to this scene. Nobody gains ANYTHING from it, there’s no character arc completion, no shocking character revelations, NOTHING. Bayonetta dies, Viola cries, GET FUCKED. Well for one exception. Viola is Bayonetta now, hooray, and good lord, the franchise’s story is now ultimately fucked for what it's worth. This story is a crowning achievement of bullshittery that happens once in a few millennia. Bayonetta 1 and 2’s story were not impressive, yes, but Bayonetta 3 takes it to an astronomical level of pure awfulness that not even die-hard Bayonetta fans can appreciate for its absurdity. Just... WHY A MULTIVERSE STORY? It’s SO hard to get right, and when Bayonetta 1 and 2 weren’t great stories by any means, you’re only asking for the bitter disappointment of fans, and thats what fans got! We waited 8 YEARS, just for this. Bayonetta 3 is genuinely one of the worst stories that I’ve EVER SEEN. It’s ABYSMAL. They never do ANYTHING fun with fthe Multiverse setup. Outside of the first cutscene, there’s nothing interesting or intriguing about the world. Bayonetta and company just go through the motions because they’re the main characters in the Video game called Bayonetta 3 for the Nintendo Switch, released on October 28th, 2022, available for $59.99 MSRP. They don't give a fuck, clearly. Why should I? The only time I smiled at the concept was with the pseudo-rhythm game near the end of Chapter 12, but other than that, Bayonetta 3 humor rolls straight ones throughout its painfully short runtime. Who the FUCK cares about all of these different Bayonettas dying when we’ve only seen them for FIVE. SECONDS!!! There’s no payoff, no emotional impact, NOTHING AT ALL. “Ohhhhh, but they come into the final battle for like 3 seconds,” NEAT SHIT!!! And even if there was, we already KNOW what’s going to happen to all of them, because they all died ON SCREEN consistently. They NEVER do anything clever with this setup, maybe save for Bayonetta 3 nearly dying, but that’s supposed to happen. After all, the game is called Bayonetta 3! Not “Viola”, or “Rodin”! And, even then, if ANYBODY in the world cares about all these variants dying, I’ll be DAMNED if it was Bayonetta 3 (the character). She never goes, “Oh shit, with all of these other Bayonettas dying, I might be next!!!” She never runs in and tries to save the others, does she do ANYTHING of value? NO! She just carries along, lets the Bayonetta die, not even reflecting on any of the Bayonettas, when the first one she saw, got torn in TWO RIGHT, IN FRONT OF HER EYES! I don’t know how you go to HELL AND BACK to save your BEST FRIEND/LOVER (IN MY HEART), but lack ANY SORT OF EMPATHY, NOR THE BALLS TO SAVE THE OTHER UMBRAN WITCHES. Oh, what did Bayonetta do before, for the record? Defeat OTHER, stronger Umbran Witches and Lumen Sages, and beat Aesir and Jubelius’s, giant, GODDESS ASS! Is she fucking scared or something??? How did she fend for her own reality all this time??? It’s DUMB! It’s simply. DUMB. This story is fucking stupid, simple as that. Do yourself a favor, press Plus, Up, A whenever a cutscene pops up. It’s so awful and not worth subscribing to. Avoid it like the plague. It accomplishes absolutely NOTHING through it's 9 hour runtime, probably fucks up the future Bayonetta stories, too, and it just flat out fucking sucks overall. It's truly THAT BAD. Actually, back to that comment of “probably fucks up the future Bayonetta stories, too”, apparently, Hideki Kamiya, one of the founding fathers of the Umbran Witch, wanted to make nine entries in the Bayonetta series overall, but… uh oh! Kamiya left Platinum Games in September of 2023. So… yikes. Platinum Games got dealt the worst cards here. I really hope that with the release of future Bayonetta games, that they greatly improve the story. Apparently, Bayonetta Origins has a much improved narrative, but I haven't played it, so all that I can say is that we'll see. But now, it's time for the conclusion.
And folks, that story simply set me over the edge. I’ve never rated a game lower for its story alone, but call me petty, because Bayonetta 3 cleared that bar of absolute TERRIBLENESS, enough for me to rate it a 5/10, when the BARE MINIMUM was shattered. I didn’t care about the stories of Bayonetta 1 and 2, but if anything should be said about Bayonetta 3’s abysmal story, it's that it’s a one of a kind, absolutely nonsensical story that actually made me give a shit about how bad it was. But hey, if you skip the cutscenes, the game is like a 6/10 dw :). But, seriously, Bayonetta 3 is the low point of the franchise. Do I even need to say anything more at this point? I’ve already bitched about the story for several Google Doc pages on end, how it’s gameplay is good on paper but any substance nor appeal surrounding it, surprisingly more so than Bayonetta 2, which had “WIN BUTTON THE GAME MECHANIC”, and how it’s just a mess overall. Yes, there are several things I liked about Bayonetta 3. The combat mechanics of the older games are still there (albeit neutered), the level design is still solid as always, and the music is still great albeit different, but when everything else that surrounds those good elements is middling at best and when it's been done so much better in Bayonetta 1 and 2, I can only give so much praise, man. It’s definitely not the worst game I’ve ever played (hello, Super Meat Boy Forever), but it’s among the most disappointing, if not, the most disappointing. It has its moments, yes, in fact, the Chapter 4 Boss was really fun! But the good heavily outweighs the bad, and leaves me thoroughly mixed on the game as a whole. I don't have any urge to replay this game at all, hell, I didn't even go for the portals since it was so easy to abuse items, so I’ll leave it at that. I don't like saying “Why would you play this when you can play (another game in series)”, because that feels weirdly disrespectful in my eyes as most games still offer different experiences, but Bayonetta 3 offers nothing of value to the Bayonetta franchise. 1 and 2 are infinitely better, and more worth your time. For now, at least. Because next up is Bayonetta Origins, the one that not even Bayonetta fans played! And it's one that I haven't even played, either. I at least played Bayonetta 1 and 2 a bit and I watched videos on Bayonetta 3, so I knew what I was getting into, but I've seen nothing about Bayonetta Origins. Apparently it's a fun game, but you'll have to wait for the review on that one. So, until next time, folks!
Well, the first hour didn't sell me on it at all.
I have never been one to note that a console "holds back" a game with technical limitations... But it is very much the case here. This game is STRUGGLING to run and look like anything at all.
I'm really not feeling it.
I have never been one to note that a console "holds back" a game with technical limitations... But it is very much the case here. This game is STRUGGLING to run and look like anything at all.
I'm really not feeling it.
Good but with a big change compared to the Gameplay although it feels just as good, although lacking narratively by a lot
Solid. Not as good as Bayonetta 1 and 2, but a good entry into the series, nevertheless. Combat was good but the story left a lot to be desired.
Well, I've been waiting for this game for a relatively long time, you could almost say since the release of the port of the second Bayonetta to Switch. The only downside of that part for me was not really high difficulty, and also its duration, I would have liked more, yes. However, I was satisfied with the sequel(Unlike the first part, it's clunky, yes). From the trailers and gameplay videos I liked the game a lot. I found the first hour or two of gameplay extremely enjoyable, however things started to fall apart closer to chapter 4. I started to notice that I wasn't using my ability boosters at all (Which I did in the first part, but didn't do in the second part because it was too much fun). They never fixed it. I broke down on the Chinese multiverse, I realized the platforming was too bad and finding animals was more tiring than enjoyable. Having a lot of weapons, but having some of them partially replicate the muvset of the existing ones is not a good realization of the "the more the better" idea. Jumping around multiverse is bad unless it's Kingdom Hearts, I learned that a long time ago and Bayonetta 3 was no exception. A lot of people berate the summoned creatures, but they're perfectly fine. This is one of the most, if not the most graphically perfect game on Switch, that's its undoubted plus. However, in some aspects, I would even prefer the first part to the third.
Red & Black
E tem o melhor visual da Cereza
E tem o melhor visual da Cereza
An interesting title that for me, despite all of its faults, I found to be a very enjoyable experience from beginning to end. The combat may not feel as satisfying as the other titles in terms of options, removing the hand and feet weapon mechanics for a more traditional two weapon switching system. I found the Demon summoning to make up for it in spades and found it to be a much better mechanic than Umbran Climax. The story overall is pretty weak, but I found the characters, including Viola, to be very fun as always. The premise and villain are however underutilized extremely and while it may be a huge detriment to some, I found those faults to be insignificant to my overall experience with this game.
Game was so laggy and choppy it hurt
bayonetta was never strong on the story. + This one definitely took the kind of twist that fans always hate and can never appreciate. Gameplay wise I found the variety to be damn amazing, so on that part it's 5/5. Definitely not as hard as 1 or 2 but just set your difficulty higher
2.oyun gibi temiz bir oyun değil ama 2'ye kıyasla artıları da fazla benim için. Hayvan gibi çeşitlilik barındırıyor, ben böyle bir çeşitlilik görmedim gibi bir şey ve bölüm tasarımlarının keşfe açık derecede geniş olması ayrıca artı benim için.
Ara sahnelerdeki ses efektlerinin yer yer yetersizliği ve kötü bir pacing'e sahip olması tek sorunları oldu benim için. Boss'ların sayısı da azalmış önceki oyuna göre ama önceki oyunda savaştığım çoğu boss'u unuttum bile, yani çok fazla olması anlam ifade etmiyordu bana.
Savaş mekaniklerindeki combo dinamizmi 2.oyundan farklı ve daha yüzeysel aslında. Ayaklarına ayrı silah takamıyorsun bu sefer ama bunun karşılığında da öküz gibi çeşitlilik veriyor oyun. Bunlar dert etmediğim durumlar oldu o yüzden.
Hikâye ise... Şey.... Hikâye işte. Ben Bayonetta'larda takmıyorum o durumu. Çoğu oyunda olduğu gibi. Son boss'da sunum olarak yüzümü güldürdü fan service yaparak o yetti en azından. Hikâye iyi ya da kötü umurumda olmadı, duygusunu vermek istediği anlarda verdi bana.
Kısaca önceki oyuna göre bazı şeylerden kısıp bambaşka yönlerden artı sağlamış o yüzden sağlam bir oyundu benim için bu da. 2.oyun gibi temiz ve pacing'i akmadığı için 2.oyun hâlâ favorim seride ama bunun da çok geri kalır yanı yok.
Ara sahnelerdeki ses efektlerinin yer yer yetersizliği ve kötü bir pacing'e sahip olması tek sorunları oldu benim için. Boss'ların sayısı da azalmış önceki oyuna göre ama önceki oyunda savaştığım çoğu boss'u unuttum bile, yani çok fazla olması anlam ifade etmiyordu bana.
Savaş mekaniklerindeki combo dinamizmi 2.oyundan farklı ve daha yüzeysel aslında. Ayaklarına ayrı silah takamıyorsun bu sefer ama bunun karşılığında da öküz gibi çeşitlilik veriyor oyun. Bunlar dert etmediğim durumlar oldu o yüzden.
Hikâye ise... Şey.... Hikâye işte. Ben Bayonetta'larda takmıyorum o durumu. Çoğu oyunda olduğu gibi. Son boss'da sunum olarak yüzümü güldürdü fan service yaparak o yetti en azından. Hikâye iyi ya da kötü umurumda olmadı, duygusunu vermek istediği anlarda verdi bana.
Kısaca önceki oyuna göre bazı şeylerden kısıp bambaşka yönlerden artı sağlamış o yüzden sağlam bir oyundu benim için bu da. 2.oyun gibi temiz ve pacing'i akmadığı için 2.oyun hâlâ favorim seride ama bunun da çok geri kalır yanı yok.
meh. its better than bayo 2 but not as good as bayo 1.
for the longest time i wondered why i never heard anyone talk about this game - outside of the voice actor drama at launch, that is. past that i never heard a word about it, good or bad. now i get why.
yeah, this one's not good. it's not all bad, though - probably the biggest highlight is that bayonetta's combat didn't take a massive dip in quality like everything else did. lots of weapons that are decently fun and flashy, and while different skill trees for each one took a while of getting used to it feels great once you find your favorites. that being said, demon combat doesn't feel as great, and i usually only pulled it out if i got bored with button mashing. for the most part though, eviscerating enemies with the yoyo was fun enough to keep me engaged throughout the whole thing. same as ever, even if it's a bit easy sometimes. it falters a bit more when you're doing kaiju fights (which is just RPS) or other shit like the on-rails sections, but they don't slow things down too too much.
honestly, that might actually be the only nice thing i can say about this one, and even that's a bit of a stretch. every moment you're not actively playing as bayonetta feels fucking horrible. the jeanne stealth sections are completely worthless filler that made me wanna die every time i was forced through one, and the viola sections may have honestly been worse. why the fuck would you intersperse your high-speed hack and slash with an objectively worse, clunkier comic relief character? why is block a different button from bayo's dodge so i need to re-train my muscle memory every time i go into the Viola Zone? why are there so many bullshit filler sections that drag things out even more?
i know every single review here is dogging on the story in some form or another, but that doesn't do it justice for how bad it really is. the bullshit, edgy-ass multiverse plot fueled by an uninteresting antagonist has zero emotional impact, especially when every single world plays out the exact same. enter new universe > kill hordes of identical enemies > watch underfell bayonetta die > get taunted by cloud face man i'm supposed to be taking seriously > repeat. the moments of campiness and bayonetta's extreme overconfidence are few and far between (though when you do see them it's pretty good), which is a damn shame because that's the entire point of the older games! her character has been completely demolished in this one - she pretty much spends the entire game pointing guns at people begging her to kill them while she looks like she's trying to force some sort of emotion. not to mention the ending in general, or whatever the fuck is going on with her and luka - ole dusty ass could NEVER bag her in a million years, i'm sorry. this game's story is like if you put bugs bunny in a saw movie and expected him to take it seriously.
the only reason this gets two stars is because it's absolutely carried by the combat, and even that's a stretch. just skip this one - there's nothing here that bayo 1/2 aren't leagues better at, and if the series somehow survives into this "new generation" they're teasing i'll give everyone who likes this post a hundred bucks.
also the scene where viola's ass gets lit on fire felt exactly like someone trying to sneak in their obscure fetish. didn't like that!
yeah, this one's not good. it's not all bad, though - probably the biggest highlight is that bayonetta's combat didn't take a massive dip in quality like everything else did. lots of weapons that are decently fun and flashy, and while different skill trees for each one took a while of getting used to it feels great once you find your favorites. that being said, demon combat doesn't feel as great, and i usually only pulled it out if i got bored with button mashing. for the most part though, eviscerating enemies with the yoyo was fun enough to keep me engaged throughout the whole thing. same as ever, even if it's a bit easy sometimes. it falters a bit more when you're doing kaiju fights (which is just RPS) or other shit like the on-rails sections, but they don't slow things down too too much.
honestly, that might actually be the only nice thing i can say about this one, and even that's a bit of a stretch. every moment you're not actively playing as bayonetta feels fucking horrible. the jeanne stealth sections are completely worthless filler that made me wanna die every time i was forced through one, and the viola sections may have honestly been worse. why the fuck would you intersperse your high-speed hack and slash with an objectively worse, clunkier comic relief character? why is block a different button from bayo's dodge so i need to re-train my muscle memory every time i go into the Viola Zone? why are there so many bullshit filler sections that drag things out even more?
i know every single review here is dogging on the story in some form or another, but that doesn't do it justice for how bad it really is. the bullshit, edgy-ass multiverse plot fueled by an uninteresting antagonist has zero emotional impact, especially when every single world plays out the exact same. enter new universe > kill hordes of identical enemies > watch underfell bayonetta die > get taunted by cloud face man i'm supposed to be taking seriously > repeat. the moments of campiness and bayonetta's extreme overconfidence are few and far between (though when you do see them it's pretty good), which is a damn shame because that's the entire point of the older games! her character has been completely demolished in this one - she pretty much spends the entire game pointing guns at people begging her to kill them while she looks like she's trying to force some sort of emotion. not to mention the ending in general, or whatever the fuck is going on with her and luka - ole dusty ass could NEVER bag her in a million years, i'm sorry. this game's story is like if you put bugs bunny in a saw movie and expected him to take it seriously.
the only reason this gets two stars is because it's absolutely carried by the combat, and even that's a stretch. just skip this one - there's nothing here that bayo 1/2 aren't leagues better at, and if the series somehow survives into this "new generation" they're teasing i'll give everyone who likes this post a hundred bucks.
also the scene where viola's ass gets lit on fire felt exactly like someone trying to sneak in their obscure fetish. didn't like that!
This review contains spoilers
one of the most frustrating things ive ever played. bayo gets SO many incredible new outfits and powers yet you spend half the game playing as her awful oc-maker spray-on-hair poochie daughter. the ending and the implication that she was wildly in love with the nothing beard man (I DONT EVEN REMEMBER HIS NAME) the whole time despite never showing anything more than amused courtly disdain for him and literally being willing to go to hell and back for jeanne was absolutely nothing short of CRIMINAL. he literally exists as a boppable clown toy whose job is to get hit and teased by her. the implication that she would let him PUT IT IN is heinous. the implication that her daughter is anywhere near in the same class as her is fully insulting to the brainpower and taste of the audience. i dont even care about the lore! i dont even care about it! i only care about bayo! but they fucked her up!!! FUCK THIS GAME
To bem decepcionado…
A Gameplay de fato teve um grande upgrade. Adorei as novas mecânicas de invocação de demônios e a finalização dos combos usando eles. além da grande variedade de demônios e armas para se jogar.
Agora no quesito historia, meu amigo… que confusão do caralho! Nada é explicado mano! Tudo é jogado da maneira mais confusa e preguiçosa possível. Confesso que eu já to com um ranço dessa palhaçada de tudo hoje em dia ter que meter Multiverso, mas aqui o negócio é realmente ruim. A maioria dos cenários são muito fracos e sem graça, o “grande vilão” é patético e super qualquer coisa, e o final é PÉSSIMO!
A Menos que o estúdio invente de querer fazer Bayonetta 4 na mesma pegada de Devil May Cry 5 com mais de um protagonista, o próximo game tem tudo pra ser uma bomba (Tomara que eu queima a língua 🙏🏻)
Me assusta o caminho incerto e nebuloso que essa franquia está tomando…
Cara eles conseguiram bagunçar até a cronologia dos dois games anteriores! A Cereza do 1 e do 2 são de universos diferentes agora? Nada mais tá fazendo sentido!
Enfim, é um excelente game de ação, tem uma ótima gameplay, tem seus momentos extremamente épicos, mas em quesito história, cenários e vilão, esse game peca muito. Não tenho vontade de jogar novamente algum dia…
A Gameplay de fato teve um grande upgrade. Adorei as novas mecânicas de invocação de demônios e a finalização dos combos usando eles. além da grande variedade de demônios e armas para se jogar.
Agora no quesito historia, meu amigo… que confusão do caralho! Nada é explicado mano! Tudo é jogado da maneira mais confusa e preguiçosa possível. Confesso que eu já to com um ranço dessa palhaçada de tudo hoje em dia ter que meter Multiverso, mas aqui o negócio é realmente ruim. A maioria dos cenários são muito fracos e sem graça, o “grande vilão” é patético e super qualquer coisa, e o final é PÉSSIMO!
A Menos que o estúdio invente de querer fazer Bayonetta 4 na mesma pegada de Devil May Cry 5 com mais de um protagonista, o próximo game tem tudo pra ser uma bomba (Tomara que eu queima a língua 🙏🏻)
Me assusta o caminho incerto e nebuloso que essa franquia está tomando…
Cara eles conseguiram bagunçar até a cronologia dos dois games anteriores! A Cereza do 1 e do 2 são de universos diferentes agora? Nada mais tá fazendo sentido!
Enfim, é um excelente game de ação, tem uma ótima gameplay, tem seus momentos extremamente épicos, mas em quesito história, cenários e vilão, esse game peca muito. Não tenho vontade de jogar novamente algum dia…
This game is like Bayonetta but if they decided to make her act like a parody of herself, oh and also if they tried to force a grimdark story in a game about a woman who attaches giant guns to her high heels. Oh and also if they wrote this story so that nobody really has any clue what is going on and where the majority of runtime is just Bayonetta going to a different "universe" (read, country) and meeting an alternate version of herself with about 5 lines of dialogue, an inevitable death scene and barely any personality besides Bayonetta but she’s from Japan or France or whatever. Oh and also if they decided to add a new character with her own playstyle different from Bayonetta but then make her stay pretty much the same both in terms of gameplay and character growth right up to the end. Oh and also if they decided aforementioned character should replace Cereza’s role as Bayonetta in the franchise going forward.
Oh and also if they tried to go for a more realistic visual style like Devil May Cry 5 but on hardware that is obviously not suited to that sort of graphical fidelity resulting in the game looking and running pretty poorly. Oh and also if they decided the majority of environments should be generic landscapes such as grey city, dessert and lava area. Oh and also if they decided cutscenes should all look stiff as hell in combination with the uncanny valley of the facial animations making everything feel like some poorly animated show from the early 2000s.
Oh and also if they decided to add unfun gimmick sections to pretty much every chapter and also replace a majority of major boss fights with so called gimmick sections. Oh and also if they decided a good amount of enemies should be so big and overdesigned that you have no idea what you are looking at or what kind of attack cues you should be looking for. Oh and also if they decided that air-to-ground combos just aren’t a thing anymore meaning if you want to transition to ground combat you have to awkwardly do nothing for a second so your character can make the 2 centimeter long descend back to the floor because even dodging near the ground will keep you suspended in air combat.
I have more qualms with this game in pretty much every aspect you can think of but I lack the words and sanity to write it all down right now. This game’s many flaws float through my head and I have try to fish them out to write a coherent review but there are just so many fish in the river that is my stream of conscious and they all scream for attention, no matter how big or small.
Oh well, at least the costumes are still great.
Oh and also if they tried to go for a more realistic visual style like Devil May Cry 5 but on hardware that is obviously not suited to that sort of graphical fidelity resulting in the game looking and running pretty poorly. Oh and also if they decided the majority of environments should be generic landscapes such as grey city, dessert and lava area. Oh and also if they decided cutscenes should all look stiff as hell in combination with the uncanny valley of the facial animations making everything feel like some poorly animated show from the early 2000s.
Oh and also if they decided to add unfun gimmick sections to pretty much every chapter and also replace a majority of major boss fights with so called gimmick sections. Oh and also if they decided a good amount of enemies should be so big and overdesigned that you have no idea what you are looking at or what kind of attack cues you should be looking for. Oh and also if they decided that air-to-ground combos just aren’t a thing anymore meaning if you want to transition to ground combat you have to awkwardly do nothing for a second so your character can make the 2 centimeter long descend back to the floor because even dodging near the ground will keep you suspended in air combat.
I have more qualms with this game in pretty much every aspect you can think of but I lack the words and sanity to write it all down right now. This game’s many flaws float through my head and I have try to fish them out to write a coherent review but there are just so many fish in the river that is my stream of conscious and they all scream for attention, no matter how big or small.
Oh well, at least the costumes are still great.
an abosolute masterclass. Spend your last dollars on this game and enjoy a masterpiece.
I don't give a dead moose's last shit about Helena Taylor or whether the ending betrayed your fanfiction about Bayo and Jeanne. This game took 5 years from announcement to release and it is a smelly mess.
The combat has been even further dumbed down from bayo 2, giving you Demon Summons to use in battle. Basically, you hit a button and a giant comes in and does some big attacks in the arena. This means, to balance this, all the enemies have been transformed into lumbering giant idiot damage sponges instead of the intelligent dangerous foes they used to be. We're a long LONG ways away from Grace and Glory, here.
The main story sucks too. Half the time you're not playing the damn game, you're doing some obnoxious setpiece mini game. Oh you wanna fight dudes and practice combos? Too bad here's a part where you surf on Godzillas back down a skyscraper. It all looks terrible due to it being too much for the switch to handle, and it runs at an inconsistent framerate to boot. I felt like I was playing a bad rerelease of a 2009 PS3 game.
Thats all I can remember because I haven't played this game outside of maybe a month after release because it was so underwhelming. I still come back to bayo 1 to run through Angel slayer from time to time, I will never come back to this slop.
The combat has been even further dumbed down from bayo 2, giving you Demon Summons to use in battle. Basically, you hit a button and a giant comes in and does some big attacks in the arena. This means, to balance this, all the enemies have been transformed into lumbering giant idiot damage sponges instead of the intelligent dangerous foes they used to be. We're a long LONG ways away from Grace and Glory, here.
The main story sucks too. Half the time you're not playing the damn game, you're doing some obnoxious setpiece mini game. Oh you wanna fight dudes and practice combos? Too bad here's a part where you surf on Godzillas back down a skyscraper. It all looks terrible due to it being too much for the switch to handle, and it runs at an inconsistent framerate to boot. I felt like I was playing a bad rerelease of a 2009 PS3 game.
Thats all I can remember because I haven't played this game outside of maybe a month after release because it was so underwhelming. I still come back to bayo 1 to run through Angel slayer from time to time, I will never come back to this slop.
-i love bayonetta