BaronUnread
154 Reviews liked by BaronUnread
In my infinite wisdom I decided to marathon this game in one sitting needless to say that was a giant fucking mistake 8 hours of concentrated trash is too much to bare in one sitting.
The only reason this game even has one star is that it has some extremely hilarious moments with it's incredibly shitty enemies not a single enemy design stands out they all look incredibly generic and have the AI of a retarded lobotomized monkey on acid.
the first enemy you encounter is a shitty monster lady with small claws now why would that be funny it sounds boring right? I would say yes if the game developer didn't have a bunch of these ladies in a damn cop car patrolling the streets and coming out of the car to beat the shit out of you in the middle of the street and that's just one example of the stupid ass shit this game pulls.
Boss fights also don't exist besides the one at the end where you pull some tubes out and you win.
what about the story? Silent Hill is all about the psychological state of it's protagonists minds so that should lead to some good story telling right? NO nothing makes sense and no one gives a shit about anything. They give you some choices that alter the ending but they they always play out the same way making them virtually meaningless.
Music which is usually one of the highlight for a Silent hill game barely exists in this damn mess of a game so there goes that avenue.
What about puzzles? Yeah those exist and they range from stupid easy to "guess what I'm thinking" which is a shitty way to make any puzzle feel difficult.
This game was just miserable from start to finish save from just a few funny bits with the enemies and how they work.
The only reason this game even has one star is that it has some extremely hilarious moments with it's incredibly shitty enemies not a single enemy design stands out they all look incredibly generic and have the AI of a retarded lobotomized monkey on acid.
the first enemy you encounter is a shitty monster lady with small claws now why would that be funny it sounds boring right? I would say yes if the game developer didn't have a bunch of these ladies in a damn cop car patrolling the streets and coming out of the car to beat the shit out of you in the middle of the street and that's just one example of the stupid ass shit this game pulls.
Boss fights also don't exist besides the one at the end where you pull some tubes out and you win.
what about the story? Silent Hill is all about the psychological state of it's protagonists minds so that should lead to some good story telling right? NO nothing makes sense and no one gives a shit about anything. They give you some choices that alter the ending but they they always play out the same way making them virtually meaningless.
Music which is usually one of the highlight for a Silent hill game barely exists in this damn mess of a game so there goes that avenue.
What about puzzles? Yeah those exist and they range from stupid easy to "guess what I'm thinking" which is a shitty way to make any puzzle feel difficult.
This game was just miserable from start to finish save from just a few funny bits with the enemies and how they work.
Nioh 2
2020
I'm honestly a bit blown away by this game.
An improvement over the original in almost every possible way which is how a sequel should be.
This game might have one of my favorite soundtracks in the last 10 years which might be saying a lot or barely anything depending on your tastes.
This doesn't reinvent the wheel or anything like that in fact It's more of the same if you are coming off the first game so if you didn't like that then this certainly won't change your mind since it doubles down on what the first game started.
The combat is similar to the first game but with quite a few additions to mechanics such as the Feral counters which there are 3 types of for you to choose from.
4 new weapon types (including the 3 DLCs) and a metric fuck ton of moves and abilities to acquire both from buying them with skill points and having certain skills drop from bosses.
the latter being my main and one of the very issues with this game because good lord it can take you hundreds of runs before you get a boss skill to drop or you can get lucky and have it drop right away it's RNG that can be extremely brutal at it's worst.
The bosses can also be hit or miss in terms of difficulty some of them are really challenging and others feel extremely weak and easy to exploit the latter being mostly the human bosses since I found it extremely easy to set them up to where I can break their stamina and do damage in an endless loop till they die.
If I'm gonna nitpick I would also say that I'm not exactly a fan of the endgame for Nioh 2 as it devolves from carefully planning attacks and learning timing and good defense into unga bunga who melts the other first which is a shame but you most likely will never see this problem rear it's ugly head if you are just in it to beat it once or twice and leave it at that.
The pros eclipse the cons by a country mile tho so I would wholeheartedly recommend this game to anyone who's a fan of the genre.
An improvement over the original in almost every possible way which is how a sequel should be.
This game might have one of my favorite soundtracks in the last 10 years which might be saying a lot or barely anything depending on your tastes.
This doesn't reinvent the wheel or anything like that in fact It's more of the same if you are coming off the first game so if you didn't like that then this certainly won't change your mind since it doubles down on what the first game started.
The combat is similar to the first game but with quite a few additions to mechanics such as the Feral counters which there are 3 types of for you to choose from.
4 new weapon types (including the 3 DLCs) and a metric fuck ton of moves and abilities to acquire both from buying them with skill points and having certain skills drop from bosses.
the latter being my main and one of the very issues with this game because good lord it can take you hundreds of runs before you get a boss skill to drop or you can get lucky and have it drop right away it's RNG that can be extremely brutal at it's worst.
The bosses can also be hit or miss in terms of difficulty some of them are really challenging and others feel extremely weak and easy to exploit the latter being mostly the human bosses since I found it extremely easy to set them up to where I can break their stamina and do damage in an endless loop till they die.
If I'm gonna nitpick I would also say that I'm not exactly a fan of the endgame for Nioh 2 as it devolves from carefully planning attacks and learning timing and good defense into unga bunga who melts the other first which is a shame but you most likely will never see this problem rear it's ugly head if you are just in it to beat it once or twice and leave it at that.
The pros eclipse the cons by a country mile tho so I would wholeheartedly recommend this game to anyone who's a fan of the genre.
Before you start this game you wanna do yourself a big favor and pick hard difficulty not because it's challenging or anything but it makes Lara shut the hell up during puzzles and not spoil the solutions 24/7
Now with that out of the way is this game good?
I'd say yes but my god is it horribly unpolished sometimes I'd give it a higher rating if it wasn't for all those clipping problems that cause faulty jumps leading to your death many times.
there are quite a few puzzles in the game both main and optional ones and while easy for the most part some of them can get you to think for a bit so that's all fine and good.
I quite enjoyed the big time set pieces even if they are somewhat scripted and leave no room for deviation from the obvious path. think of them as rollercoaster rides with death involved.
This game also features Tombs.... yes Tombs in a fucking game called Tomb raider amazing I know but you'd be surprised how much the previous entries in this reboot series lacked on that front.
Now with that out of the way is this game good?
I'd say yes but my god is it horribly unpolished sometimes I'd give it a higher rating if it wasn't for all those clipping problems that cause faulty jumps leading to your death many times.
there are quite a few puzzles in the game both main and optional ones and while easy for the most part some of them can get you to think for a bit so that's all fine and good.
I quite enjoyed the big time set pieces even if they are somewhat scripted and leave no room for deviation from the obvious path. think of them as rollercoaster rides with death involved.
This game also features Tombs.... yes Tombs in a fucking game called Tomb raider amazing I know but you'd be surprised how much the previous entries in this reboot series lacked on that front.
Death Stranding
2019
Death Stranding is a game that is hard to describe, not because of its complexity (of which there isn't much), but because of the sheer quantity of elements and ideas present. But if this game proves anything, it's that more can often be less.
While its main idea of traversing through the mostly empty open world in the most efficient way possible has potential, even if not terribly original, it's pretty much bogged down by everything around it. Not only are the physics really inconsistent and very easy to exploit, but the game itself does its best to undermine the walking the most it can by introducing all sorts of ways to not actually engage with the game on that level: vehicles, ziplines, fast travel, you name it, the game eventually becomes more about parsing through boring menus than having a better understanding of the layout or the game mechanics. There's also some action segments which are both really out of place and really basic, and not even worth mentioning outside of what I just said.
As with every Kojima game, Death Stranding also contains a ton of story to it, mostly told through endless cutscenes. Your mileage may vary on his writing as always, but what I will say is that I don't think having such a convoluted and character-centric story added much to the game, but if anything detracted from it. The last few hours especially really drag, with the game mostly tying loose ends of events that already occurred and that you might or might not even be interested in, depending on how long ago you went through them and how invested you were to begin with.
Death Stranding is a man's unfiltered, complete vision, and while it might look like a mess to me, I'm sure it made a lot of sense to him. And that's the reason why, despite not thinking much of most of it, I'm glad I played it to completion: it's almost unheard of to see a modern AAA game that has an identity and sticks to it, regardless of how controversial or unpopular it may be. It's probably more of a statement of how dire things are creatively in the game industry, but I ultimately found Death Stranding to be a mildly interesting game. Whether "mildly interesting" is worth going through 35 hours of a game that takes way too long to start and end in the first place will be up to the individual.
While its main idea of traversing through the mostly empty open world in the most efficient way possible has potential, even if not terribly original, it's pretty much bogged down by everything around it. Not only are the physics really inconsistent and very easy to exploit, but the game itself does its best to undermine the walking the most it can by introducing all sorts of ways to not actually engage with the game on that level: vehicles, ziplines, fast travel, you name it, the game eventually becomes more about parsing through boring menus than having a better understanding of the layout or the game mechanics. There's also some action segments which are both really out of place and really basic, and not even worth mentioning outside of what I just said.
As with every Kojima game, Death Stranding also contains a ton of story to it, mostly told through endless cutscenes. Your mileage may vary on his writing as always, but what I will say is that I don't think having such a convoluted and character-centric story added much to the game, but if anything detracted from it. The last few hours especially really drag, with the game mostly tying loose ends of events that already occurred and that you might or might not even be interested in, depending on how long ago you went through them and how invested you were to begin with.
Death Stranding is a man's unfiltered, complete vision, and while it might look like a mess to me, I'm sure it made a lot of sense to him. And that's the reason why, despite not thinking much of most of it, I'm glad I played it to completion: it's almost unheard of to see a modern AAA game that has an identity and sticks to it, regardless of how controversial or unpopular it may be. It's probably more of a statement of how dire things are creatively in the game industry, but I ultimately found Death Stranding to be a mildly interesting game. Whether "mildly interesting" is worth going through 35 hours of a game that takes way too long to start and end in the first place will be up to the individual.
Nemesis is scary
Parasite Eve
1998
Oh..um..i have a parasite...yea
Dex
2015
Dex is a european styled RPG through and through, only in 2D. All the hallmarks are there: emphasis on exploration, starting up very weak and becoming an unstoppable god at the end, very questionable moment to moment gameplay, all the elements that should be very familiar to you if you ever played games such as Gothic or Two Worlds or any european action-RPG from the 2000s.
Good news is, the game does a fairly good job at what it needed to do right, namely exploration (and reasons to explore) and character building. The game gives plenty of varied ways to improve yourself, while also having to make decisions on what you want to improve on as some sacrifices will have to be made, and it all feels nice when you're at a level where you're comfortable buying whatever you want and punching whoever you feel like. Side quests and the layout of the city are good too, it's big enough to feel plausible but not so big that you can't remember its layout (and the game will ask you to remember where things are from time to time), and the side quests are all varied and interesting enough to stand out from one another, not having many of them in the first place probably helped with making them more fleshed out.
The bad is, there's no going around it, the action gameplay. It's fairly inoffensive with enough health items and using stealth in the first few hours, but at its best it's very basic. At its worst you won't be able to even see the enemies being able to see you and you'll have to engage in such a boring game of taking two pokes and then guarding that even the guys at From Software would say that it's a little excessive. Leveling up and getting implants does make combat easier, almost to the point of just needing to mash the attack button, but it's not really a positive when the game playing itself is preferable over having to interact with its combat.
I would recommend Dex. It's a game that will definitely be an acquired taste, but if you're into smaller games, cyberpunk, and/or european rpgs, there's a pretty solid, likeable game here, despite or maybe also because of its very small budget.
Good news is, the game does a fairly good job at what it needed to do right, namely exploration (and reasons to explore) and character building. The game gives plenty of varied ways to improve yourself, while also having to make decisions on what you want to improve on as some sacrifices will have to be made, and it all feels nice when you're at a level where you're comfortable buying whatever you want and punching whoever you feel like. Side quests and the layout of the city are good too, it's big enough to feel plausible but not so big that you can't remember its layout (and the game will ask you to remember where things are from time to time), and the side quests are all varied and interesting enough to stand out from one another, not having many of them in the first place probably helped with making them more fleshed out.
The bad is, there's no going around it, the action gameplay. It's fairly inoffensive with enough health items and using stealth in the first few hours, but at its best it's very basic. At its worst you won't be able to even see the enemies being able to see you and you'll have to engage in such a boring game of taking two pokes and then guarding that even the guys at From Software would say that it's a little excessive. Leveling up and getting implants does make combat easier, almost to the point of just needing to mash the attack button, but it's not really a positive when the game playing itself is preferable over having to interact with its combat.
I would recommend Dex. It's a game that will definitely be an acquired taste, but if you're into smaller games, cyberpunk, and/or european rpgs, there's a pretty solid, likeable game here, despite or maybe also because of its very small budget.
Road to Guangdong
2019
This review contains spoilers
Having finished it last winter, Road to Guangdong was less of a game and more of a chore, or rather an example of how not to make a game whilst having such ambitions in vision and expectations put in place for the players and failing to meet both of either.
The stories for each of the relatives you visit felt nice and for the most part it did manage to make me feel invested in them , investigating their affairs , getting to help them out in your own ways, and most if not all choices will end with their story ending happily and netting you their regional recipe to cook at the family feast, and an invitation for them as well. You meet a certain uncle of yours and help him over love issues and his feelings for Guu Ma, you settle a tense situation of succession with Si Fu, and a favourite of mine was when you help out a little cousin with cooking and a dillemma of her own. This so on and so forth continues for each relative you go to , and you have a nice time or dinner at the end of each one, but as the game nears its end it all wraps up in a really cut-and-dried manner to the point where it even feels rather hollow regardless of who you manage to invite at the dinner which ends very anti-climactically with you talking to your Guu Ma and it cutting to credits. There's no more follow ups to anyone's story , nothing in the after credits or something such either be it the relatives, Guu Ma, or Sunny herself.
Moving on to the road trip part of this, it's either just barely tolerable or completely infuriating depending on how you want to feel about it. The driving is very barebones and without much challenge at all besides having to replace/repair most parts besides the engine, very frequently. It was particularly frustrating because it occurs no matter what the quality or usage of your parts lie at, this goes especially true for tires so scrounging them up from scrap heaps and repairing to use became very essential as you will get a game over if one of them fail, having you restart ALL OVER and making the entire journey more tedious than it already was. There's not much of a "1990’s Guangdong" feeling or vibe to most things, and most certainly not the road trip with you travelling long distances on a controlled speed, constant worry of part failure, very poor music variety overall in-game , constant reused lines from you Guu Ma who's sleeping more than half the time , and generic and bland backdrops as far as the eye can see, with the exception of the entrance to each town with the Kaiping Diaolou in particular being a nice touch.
This game captivated me at times , but it was overall a big chore and left a sour taste and an empty feeling in what could have been something more, since this game still has a lot of potential if the developers at Just Add Oil did a much better job or at this point, perhaps never just abandoned it.
The stories for each of the relatives you visit felt nice and for the most part it did manage to make me feel invested in them , investigating their affairs , getting to help them out in your own ways, and most if not all choices will end with their story ending happily and netting you their regional recipe to cook at the family feast, and an invitation for them as well. You meet a certain uncle of yours and help him over love issues and his feelings for Guu Ma, you settle a tense situation of succession with Si Fu, and a favourite of mine was when you help out a little cousin with cooking and a dillemma of her own. This so on and so forth continues for each relative you go to , and you have a nice time or dinner at the end of each one, but as the game nears its end it all wraps up in a really cut-and-dried manner to the point where it even feels rather hollow regardless of who you manage to invite at the dinner which ends very anti-climactically with you talking to your Guu Ma and it cutting to credits. There's no more follow ups to anyone's story , nothing in the after credits or something such either be it the relatives, Guu Ma, or Sunny herself.
Moving on to the road trip part of this, it's either just barely tolerable or completely infuriating depending on how you want to feel about it. The driving is very barebones and without much challenge at all besides having to replace/repair most parts besides the engine, very frequently. It was particularly frustrating because it occurs no matter what the quality or usage of your parts lie at, this goes especially true for tires so scrounging them up from scrap heaps and repairing to use became very essential as you will get a game over if one of them fail, having you restart ALL OVER and making the entire journey more tedious than it already was. There's not much of a "1990’s Guangdong" feeling or vibe to most things, and most certainly not the road trip with you travelling long distances on a controlled speed, constant worry of part failure, very poor music variety overall in-game , constant reused lines from you Guu Ma who's sleeping more than half the time , and generic and bland backdrops as far as the eye can see, with the exception of the entrance to each town with the Kaiping Diaolou in particular being a nice touch.
This game captivated me at times , but it was overall a big chore and left a sour taste and an empty feeling in what could have been something more, since this game still has a lot of potential if the developers at Just Add Oil did a much better job or at this point, perhaps never just abandoned it.
Breakdown
2004
Breakdown is a deeply haunted Japanese re-interpretation of Half-Life that pushes through its slog with sheer insanity alone.
Breakdown
2004
We don't get first-person brawlers very often, last one I played was the bizarre piece of Zeno Clash back in 2012.
Breakdown is very unique and fun to play, I was really invested in its sci-fi story with all those unexpected twists and turns. Combat mechanics, although aged and wonky, are really fun, and button combination is pretty decent. Soundtrack is TOP-TIER.
Definitely a game hard to master, I was about to drop half a star because of the ridiculous difficulty spike near the end of the game that absolutely kills the pacing and turns the fun into a tedious shore, but it wouldn't be fair since the rest of the game is excellent and really entertaining.
Another IP Microsoft should definitely dig up from the ground and get it its deserved sequel teased at the finale.
Breakdown is very unique and fun to play, I was really invested in its sci-fi story with all those unexpected twists and turns. Combat mechanics, although aged and wonky, are really fun, and button combination is pretty decent. Soundtrack is TOP-TIER.
Definitely a game hard to master, I was about to drop half a star because of the ridiculous difficulty spike near the end of the game that absolutely kills the pacing and turns the fun into a tedious shore, but it wouldn't be fair since the rest of the game is excellent and really entertaining.
Another IP Microsoft should definitely dig up from the ground and get it its deserved sequel teased at the finale.
Tekken 2
1995
Fatther climbs back up cliff and is now mad
Son is now an evil bastard
Father enters tournament to fight his son at the end and get revenge .... again
Father wins and tosses son in Volcano to really make sure he's dead this time
Father makes a goofy ass smile.
Son is now an evil bastard
Father enters tournament to fight his son at the end and get revenge .... again
Father wins and tosses son in Volcano to really make sure he's dead this time
Father makes a goofy ass smile.
Klonoa is a game that maybe not everyone has played, but everyone has certainly heard of, and it might be hard to see why at first.
The gameplay premise of this 2D platformer is actually very simple: you pick up enemies and you either throw them in various directions (and dimensions) and/or double jump with them. Outside of this move and jumping there isn't much going on, but if Klonoa proves anything is that platformers are mostly made on their level design rather than base moveset.
Klonoa is a game that makes everything of its pretty short length (12 levels in total): every level has some sort of theme, whether it impacts the gameplay or just the visuals, to make them distinct from one another, without ever moving away from the core mechanics, but in fact gradually asking more and more out of the player. Not having any sort of gimmick stage is pretty impressive for a 1997 platformer, coming from an era where everybody was doing something gimmicky for variety (padding)'s sake, which shows how confident the developers were in their core gameplay.
The main and only real problem with the game is that it feels like it could've done a lot more. For about half the game it feels like the training wheels are still on, which is a shame because the last 4 levels or so really show how fun Klonoa can be with more complex enemies, layouts and puzzles. You'll be surprised at how much leverage the designers get out of such a simple idea.
Despite that, playing Klonoa is definitely a pleasant experience. It's nothing necessarily groundbreaking (nor do I think it wanted to be), but the combination of the well utilized main mechanic and weird dream-like atmosphere will definitely make an impression. And if that doesn't, the really bizarre ending might.
The gameplay premise of this 2D platformer is actually very simple: you pick up enemies and you either throw them in various directions (and dimensions) and/or double jump with them. Outside of this move and jumping there isn't much going on, but if Klonoa proves anything is that platformers are mostly made on their level design rather than base moveset.
Klonoa is a game that makes everything of its pretty short length (12 levels in total): every level has some sort of theme, whether it impacts the gameplay or just the visuals, to make them distinct from one another, without ever moving away from the core mechanics, but in fact gradually asking more and more out of the player. Not having any sort of gimmick stage is pretty impressive for a 1997 platformer, coming from an era where everybody was doing something gimmicky for variety (padding)'s sake, which shows how confident the developers were in their core gameplay.
The main and only real problem with the game is that it feels like it could've done a lot more. For about half the game it feels like the training wheels are still on, which is a shame because the last 4 levels or so really show how fun Klonoa can be with more complex enemies, layouts and puzzles. You'll be surprised at how much leverage the designers get out of such a simple idea.
Despite that, playing Klonoa is definitely a pleasant experience. It's nothing necessarily groundbreaking (nor do I think it wanted to be), but the combination of the well utilized main mechanic and weird dream-like atmosphere will definitely make an impression. And if that doesn't, the really bizarre ending might.
awesome detective themed outing from the main SMT series. it's unpolished but the great pacing and atmosphere already makes it worth the trip, not even mentioning the solid dungeon design (for the most part) and general fun to be had going through the game's quest. despite soul hackers being a straight upgrade, there's no other game in the franchise that feels quite like this one. definite recommendation for megaten fans; it's not that hard to play in japanese!
WWF Betrayal
2001
WWF Betrayal is a WWE themed beat em up on the Game Boy Color developed by WayForward, currently of Shantae fame. This is such a random combination of names and things that it sounds made up by an AI, so I kinda had to play it. Sadly the description is about the most interesting thing about it.
Not that there's anything wrong with it as a game, it's a pretty simple beat em-up where you mash A to punch and B to kick, double tap the d-pad to run, all things you're probably somewhat familiar with. The issue is that there's really nothing more to it than that.
There's some WWF/E flavor to it of course, but I really thought they should've had more of it. If you replaced the WWF playable guys with generic playable characters and Vince McMahon with a generic villain not much would be different, as the most common sights of this game will be Steve Austin punching random fat guys dressed as Luigi and Undertaker getting the timing of the gas coming out of pipes just right so that he can pass through.
What WWF Betrayal seems to be is a quick cash grab for developer WayForward while banking on a property that was very relevant at the time. While there's nothing wrong with that, it gives this game very little reason to be played by anybody that isn't such an insane wrestling fan that they will even play a mediocre Game Boy Color beat em up that offers pretty much no replayability. It's a shame, because a wrestling-themed beat em up sounds like a really fun idea.
Not that there's anything wrong with it as a game, it's a pretty simple beat em-up where you mash A to punch and B to kick, double tap the d-pad to run, all things you're probably somewhat familiar with. The issue is that there's really nothing more to it than that.
There's some WWF/E flavor to it of course, but I really thought they should've had more of it. If you replaced the WWF playable guys with generic playable characters and Vince McMahon with a generic villain not much would be different, as the most common sights of this game will be Steve Austin punching random fat guys dressed as Luigi and Undertaker getting the timing of the gas coming out of pipes just right so that he can pass through.
What WWF Betrayal seems to be is a quick cash grab for developer WayForward while banking on a property that was very relevant at the time. While there's nothing wrong with that, it gives this game very little reason to be played by anybody that isn't such an insane wrestling fan that they will even play a mediocre Game Boy Color beat em up that offers pretty much no replayability. It's a shame, because a wrestling-themed beat em up sounds like a really fun idea.
I'm an "idea guy" when it comes to videogames. I see something unusual and I'm more interested in it than the vast majority of high budget games, which have to be overly familiar to make back their immense cost. Which explains why I at some point in my life decided to buy this game, which was released in 2008 but you could swear is at least a decade older by seeing it in motion.
Space Trader thinks it's a sci-fi game about being a trader, in which you'll have to travel to various planets and sell the goods you bought for a low price elsewhere, hopefully for a good profit (kinda topical), and you'll repeat this process until the end. Problem number 1: the trading makes no sense. There's no rhyme or reason to any of the goods getting higher or lower in price, so pretty quickly you smarten up to the fact that you want to just buy which ever the most costly thing is while also being the one that's trending the lowest, because chances are that even if the price doesn't go up that much by the time you travel elsewhere you will still make a solid 2-3-4-5 million in profits. So essentially risking anything is useless, since you're much more likely to be screwed by the RNG.
Problem 2: there's nothing meaningful to spend money on. They must have realized this, so this game takes a nonsensical arcadey approach: for every chapter (or "challenges" as the game calls them. Doesn't make any sense to me either) you'll have a time limit, in which you'll usually have to either have X amount of money which you'll have to make in the least travels possible, or you'll have to figure out which specific turn of events the game wants you to trigger, which is as exciting as you can imagine.
I wish that's all there was to the gameplay, but someone on the development team decided to add an FPS component to it, which I can imagine was developed by people whose entire experience with FPS games was watching Quake 3 for 5 minutes and winging it. Everything in here truly feels awful, doesn't help that they made about 4 maps in total which you will see a number of times (including Challenge 4, which is made up of three fights in the same map with slightly more enemies each time in a row, glad they included that myself).
So that about describes Space Trader: Merchant Marine. It's a game with a good idea, zero budget (as the suspiciously 2000s public domain-sounding soundtrack will prove, on top of everything else) and about the worst possible execution of that idea possible. It's an awful game, but considering it's about 6 hours long and I must've spent $1 for it, I can't be too upset at it. If anything, its attempts at doing anything are adorable.
Space Trader thinks it's a sci-fi game about being a trader, in which you'll have to travel to various planets and sell the goods you bought for a low price elsewhere, hopefully for a good profit (kinda topical), and you'll repeat this process until the end. Problem number 1: the trading makes no sense. There's no rhyme or reason to any of the goods getting higher or lower in price, so pretty quickly you smarten up to the fact that you want to just buy which ever the most costly thing is while also being the one that's trending the lowest, because chances are that even if the price doesn't go up that much by the time you travel elsewhere you will still make a solid 2-3-4-5 million in profits. So essentially risking anything is useless, since you're much more likely to be screwed by the RNG.
Problem 2: there's nothing meaningful to spend money on. They must have realized this, so this game takes a nonsensical arcadey approach: for every chapter (or "challenges" as the game calls them. Doesn't make any sense to me either) you'll have a time limit, in which you'll usually have to either have X amount of money which you'll have to make in the least travels possible, or you'll have to figure out which specific turn of events the game wants you to trigger, which is as exciting as you can imagine.
I wish that's all there was to the gameplay, but someone on the development team decided to add an FPS component to it, which I can imagine was developed by people whose entire experience with FPS games was watching Quake 3 for 5 minutes and winging it. Everything in here truly feels awful, doesn't help that they made about 4 maps in total which you will see a number of times (including Challenge 4, which is made up of three fights in the same map with slightly more enemies each time in a row, glad they included that myself).
So that about describes Space Trader: Merchant Marine. It's a game with a good idea, zero budget (as the suspiciously 2000s public domain-sounding soundtrack will prove, on top of everything else) and about the worst possible execution of that idea possible. It's an awful game, but considering it's about 6 hours long and I must've spent $1 for it, I can't be too upset at it. If anything, its attempts at doing anything are adorable.