A masterpiece that only came to exist as distinctive and disturbing as it is due to the brutal conditions and specific time of gaming history it was made in. To this day Aonuma feels ashamed of it and doesn't understand the love, and it really shows in the 3DS version. MM remains the best example of efficient asset reuse ever. Despite sharing so much with its predecessor it couldn't feel more different, pushing the hardware much further running every event on a real time schedule, and also challenging the player more. You just have to do all the side content to get the full experience and fully appreciate how detailed, varied and interconnected Termina and its characters are. My appreciation for the game has grown more and more over the years to the point I don't care about its shortcomings anymore. Unquestionably in the upper echelon of the Zelda series and Nintendo games in general.

FF7 is just as good people hype it up to be. It starts off in the iconic Midgar with what is probably the most action packed opening of any JRPG, and after a few hours it's already opening up its world. It gets even better the more mysteries are unconvered, the more materia and limit breaks you acquire. The forced minigames are really the only complaint I have with it. It's not hard to understand why this was such a massive deal in the early 3D era with how cinematic and spectacular it is. Even to this day the seamless transitions between gameplay and FMVs with uninterrupted music are mindblowing, and the pre rendered backgrounds have an untouchable aesthetic.

No matter how hard Square Enix try with countless spinoffs and retellings in the same universe with all the advanced technology of today, they aren't able to replicate the magic that was achieved on a PS1 and only make its story retroactively worse. It's not nostalgia talking - this is coming from a person who first played it 23 years after release. There is a great subtlety to the original and its characters that the remakes miss completely. Sephiroth, one of the coolest villains of all time, is basically an entirely different character in every media released after this and his cryptic terrifying aura is lost for the sake of fanservice. I choose to think of this game as existing in a vacuum and will always recommend it over anything else as the most complete consistent work.

I'm gonna play this game so much my 9 month old baby is gonna think Bryan Fury is his uncle.

Review Chapter 1:
Baldy's Basics

Yes, I play as Bryan (and I am NOT good at taunt cancelling yet) but you play as Reina so stfu. I do have some legacy skill since I've played Bryan before; he really became my guy when his beautiful bald head graced the voice-synthesized schoolyards of Tekken Tag Tournament. But I'm only here writing because I just went on a truly legendary losing-streak, dwarfed only by that time I lost one trillion SF6 player matches in a row against (fellow-backloggder) Maradona.

I beat both campaigns of Tekken 8 (The Dark Awakens and Arcade Quest) two days ago, and I meant to review it then but I've been so busy getting demolished in ranked matches to remember. Okay and taking care of a baby. Conbaby plays Eddie Gordo so 1. Scrub 2. Has to wait for the DLC.

Review Chapter 2:
Devil Inside, the Devil Inside, Every Single One of Us, The Devil Inside

The Dark Awakens is one of the best fighting game campaigns ever. Mostly focusing on formerly-likable character Jin Kazama trying to forget about the story of Tekken 6. He's just like me fr. Tekken 8 goes the balls-to-the-wall anime approach, and as someone who has been playing these games casually since I was a wee babe, it's hype.

The dialogue is certainly expressive, with characters yelling or gruffly whispering platitudes non-stop, but it manages to ride that line between corny and cool quite well. No spoilers, but there's also more gameplay variety than I expected. The overall Jin focus keeps everything from going off the rails (in terms of story cohesion) and there are plenty of major moments with the rest of the cast. Most of them. The one big Netherrealm style plot convenience was Azucena's; they came up with a fun coffee heiress character but had no idea how to get her into the story.

Review Chapter 3:
Pokkén Tournament

Arcade Quest is a way stripped-down version of SF6 world tour, serving as a tutorial for the basics of Tekken. The plot is straightforward and the dialogue is skippable. It's an inoffensive little mode if not for the fact that you play as those ugly Xbox Live Mii knockoffs, but there’s an online lobby where you chat and run around. It’s kinda fun.

Review Chapter 4:
The AI Version of Myself is Better than Me at Tekken

The practice stuff in this game is crazy; I thought Street Fighter 6's training was bananas, but this is next-level. Aside from the normal suite of training-mode options, you can train an AI of yourself (or any other player) to fight against, and you can pause any of your replays and drop into it (as either fighter) to see what you (or your opponent) could have done better. The amount of options new and old are almost overwhelming, but you're gonna need to utilize at least some of them to get anywhere online.

Review Chapter 5:
Reina and Kazuya

As for the multiplayer, it's great. The netcode is way better than Tekken 7's- still not to SF6 levels but much appreciated. I haven't had any issues, but I do use a wired connection so your mileage may vary.

Playing Tekken online is like getting beaten-up in real life. "I almost had her." Reina and Kazuya seem like the Kens or Scorpions of this game right now, at least in the lower ranks. More Victors as I’ve gone higher. I've played a couple hundred matches and have not fought a single Raven, Lars, Lee, Jun, or Bryan in Ranked (I don't know if it tries to filter out mirror matches.) I don't think Reina and Kaz are overpowered or anything, but they're obviously popular. It doesn't have a huge impact on the enjoyment, as it's good practice. I say practice but it's just me losing ranked matches.

One week post-launch edit: Reina, Victor, King, Dragunov. Kazuya has faded into obscurity.

Review Chapter 6:
I'm Dragging this out to 8 Chapters

I know we're not very far past release, and some of that excitement is sure to wear off, but the amount of fun I'm having is undeniable.

Review Chapter 7:
Sight & Sound

This game looks stunning. Tekken 7 probably looked good too but I wouldn't know because the Xbox version looked like beer goggles.

The music for Tekken 8 is fine, but you can put any Tekken song from any Tekken game on any stage, as well as the different menus. One major omission is "Black Winter Night Sky", the Tekken 2 console opening cutscene song. Where is it Harada? Why is it never included in anything? It's not on iTunes with the rest of the soundtracks, best they've got are stinky cover versions.

Review Chapter 8:
Tekken Ball

TEKKEN BALL BABY! WE'RE SO BACK! GON DLC WHEN?? TEKKEN BALLLLLLLLL!!!! PS TEKKEN BALLIN!!!! Tekken Ball Tekken Ball gonna go play some Tekken Ball to the beach music from Tekken 4

"Review Epilogue" DLC coming soon