Cat Girl without Salad is a joke game (if you couldn’t already tell from the name). From what I’ve heard, it was based on an April Fools’ Day announcement by WayForward, but around 2016, they decided to make it into a real game. So it isn’t meant to be anything mind-blowing. That being said, there’s a ton of promising ideas here on display that I think could’ve made this game truly fantastic had they been fleshed out more.

The main gimmick of this game are the shot types that are meant to play like different game genres, ie. rhythm, platformer, puzzle, etc. This is such an insanely cool idea in concept and is a really clever way of integrating different genres into a shoot-em-up like this. In execution, however, well, it’s kind of a mixed bag. While a few of the shot types (particularly the puzzle and arcade ones) work really well for this type of game and happen to be pretty efficient as well, about 60% of them just kind of end up being really inefficient to use. Which is disappointing, because these aren’t exactly bad ideas. Like the rhythm game one. It’s actually a decent idea in concept, but it really needed some more time on the drawing board because not only is there not much of a reward for getting it, but it ends up being distracting as all hell too. You’re really just better off sticking with your peashooter as opposed to using this, and honestly, the peashooter is pretty boring with not much depth to it. While there’s a lot of potential on display here with all of these shot types, a lot of them definitely needed some time in the oven before being brought out.

Speaking of things that needed more time in the oven, the stages. Overall, they’re pretty boring. Because you’ll be using the peashooter most of the time, you’ll pretty quickly find that it doesn’t really do that much damage to enemies, so oftentimes you’ll just be dodging enemies that are just going to try to run into you. They don’t even really shoot that many bullets at you, so this is most of what the stage is usually going to be. However, I do have to say that the bosses are definitely the highlight of this game. Not only do all of them ooze personality, a lot of their patterns reflect this and are pretty fun to dodge at that. However, all of this comes with one major flaw that makes this game pretty hard to recommend. This game is three stages long. I’m not kidding. You can beat the entire game in about 30 minutes, MAXIMUM. You don’t even really get any extra content for beating the game. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind short games (in fact, I actually kind of prefer shorter games over games that drag on for too long), but three stages is just way too little for a game like this, especially since you don’t really get anything for beating the game. That, combined with the game’s easy difficulty and repetitive levels, means that there’s not much incentive to really revisit this game.

With all that being said, however, I can’t bring myself to criticize this game but so much. The charm and absolute chaotic energy of this game absolutely carried it for me. You can tell the developers had a ton of fun making this game, from the enemy designs to the boss patterns and ESPECIALLY the dialogue. I had a smile on my face nearly the entire time I was playing. To me, Cat Girl without Salad was carried by its presentation, and how much it relishes itself in being a joke game, and for what it’s trying to do, I think it works out pretty well. Because even despite its many problems, I still had fun with the game. I do think it’s a shame that its ideas weren’t fleshed out more, as the base of a great game is definitely here, and I really hope that WayForward decides to make another game like this. As it stands though, Cat Girl Without Salad is a pretty cute joke game, but not really anything more than just that. (6/10)

The most likely scenario for a sub-series like this is that, after one attempt, it would just fade away while the main series would take over, and yet, this was not the case with Gargoyle’s Quest. These titles wouldn’t go onto being as widely talked about as the main Ghosts ‘n Goblins series, but they would still hold up in terms of quality quite a bit, with each game being very fun, simple platformers with interesting gimmicks that made them interesting to check out, despite their faults. But naturally, every demon has to die at some point, and thus, the series would be concluded after only a four year run, while the main GNG series would continue to go on for… not long at all initially, but hey, that would also come back eventually too. However, before the series could die off, there was one more title that would release for the series: one that doesn’t bear the Gargoyle’s Quest name, but one that would continue the same gameplay, while innovating on it beyond anything it had resembled before. This game would be known as Demon’s Crest.

Just like with the other two Gargoyle’s Quest games, I had never played Demon’s Crest until not too long ago, even though I had seen it in action before. Unsurprisingly, the game is the best looking and most impressive of the bunch, which definitely left an impression on me when I first saw it, as I love this type of gothic-horror shit, especially from this era of gaming. Seriously, how can you not at least be impressed by some of the sprites in the game, like the dragon corpse you fight at the beginning of the game? But anyway, I decided to give it a shot, and yeah, I’d have to agree with most when they say that this is the best game in the series, and one of the hidden gems of the franchise as a whole. It does have its faults, ones that I haven’t seen many others touch upon, but it still stands as one of the best titles in this series as a whole.

The story is typical enough for this series, where the Demon Realm is in a war over who will claim ownership of the Crests, six magical artifacts that, when combined, can give you the powers of a god, and after plenty of fighting, Firebrand manages to gain all of them, only to have them then stolen by the evil Phalanx to use to take over the realm, so it is up to Firebrand to gather all of the crests once again and take him down for good. It is a simple enough scenario, but one that is presented in a, for lack of a better word, epic way, and it does make you more curious then before to give the game a shot. The graphics are fantastic, having that gothic style that I mentioned earlier, while also having fantastic sprites for Firebrand and his forms, the enemies you find, and especially the bosses, the music is pretty great, having that gothic, organ-y tone throughout most of the entire game, making the tracks great to listen to as you trek forward, and the control/gameplay is very similar to that of the previous game, but changed up plenty in terms of how you approach playing the game.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of Firebrand one more time, go through plenty of different gothic locations all across the realm, defeat plenty of enemies using your various gargoyle abilities while taking on plenty of tricky platforming segments, gather plenty of different items to help you get other items from shops, as well as plenty of upgrades throughout the land that can boost your abilities in plenty of ways, and take on plenty of large, grotesque creatures that will give you quite a challenge if you aren’t up to the task. When taking into account several different aspects of the game, it is very similar to that of the previous games, but then there are all the new elements brought into this game, as well as all of the elements that were changed around, and it almost feels like it came from a completely different series.

When you first start the game, it feels like your typical Gargoyle’s Quest affair, going through a linear level, defeating enemies, getting items and fighting several different bosses: nothing you haven’t seen from this set of games before. But then, when you defeat the final boss of that opening stage, you are then given a new powerup that allows you to transform into a different form, which catches your interest immediately. This is then followed by you being thrown into the overworld, and from there on out, almost the entire game opens up for you. You can now fly to plenty of other different locations throughout the map, take on plenty of new stages, fight bigger and badder foes, and find shops to buy more items or to get more money. These elements aren’t anything particularly new for video games, but to see the series being evolved from what it was before, a game trying to be an RPG, to this, is something to behold.

Another thing to appreciate about this approach is that, upon beating that first level, you now have this sense of freedom that not too many other games at that time had. Yeah, some of the levels are closed off until you complete certain objectives, but that can’t stop you from going to plenty of other levels, taking different routes, seeing what else is available to do, or even beating the whole game immediately. Seriously, you can just go straight to Phalanx to take him out if you want to, without playing through any other level, which may seem pretty anti-climatic, but the fact that the game gives you this option at all is something you don’t see every day, and is something I really appreciate. But even then, if you do decide to go beat the game already, you would then miss out on where this game truly shines: the upgrades.

Throughout the game, you can find many different items throughout the stages, each one either helping you carry something to use on your journey, or ones that will make you stronger as you keep going. These items can range from simple health upgrades, potion bottles, or scraps of paper for spells, but then there are the talisman that you can find, each one giving you a new ability to use, such as being able to break blocks, climb up walls, and take less damage. None of these compare to the crests though, for when you get them, you are able to turn into different gargoyle forms, such as one that allows you to break heavy objects on the ground, one that will let you fly high to the skies, and one that lets you swim underwater. Each one of these forms can be very helpful in plenty of situations, not only for defeating your foes, but also for exploring around the stages more to find new items, as well as new paths to take which can lead to extra pathways, bosses, and rewards. There may not be that many stages in the game, but they make up for it by making these stages meaty, and you will wanna see every corner of them before your journey is all over.

All of that is well and good, but there are some elements that do hold it back, such as the fact that this is still Ghosts ‘n Goblins, which means it will not be afraid to jam that fleshy head of yours straight into a vat of spikes. It is easy enough at the beginning, but it can get hard pretty quickly, and you will need to bring your A-game to take on some of these challenges. Although, even that may not be enough at some points, as I swear, there are just some parts in this game where it seems impossible to get through without getting hit, even though I tried plenty of times to make that the case. It’s not that big of a deal, I’ll take the hit like a man and move on, but still, that does kinda suck. And speaking of things that kinda suck (stop thinking that), this may be a personal peeve that I have with this game, but it is a peeve nonetheless: why can’t you crouch? There are plenty of moments in the game where you will have these pots or enemies that you can’t normally hit on the ground, all because you are too goddamn tall, so your fire goes over them, and you have to position yourself to where you can actually hit these things. Sure, you do have different forms and tools to take care of that for you, but then that requires going into the menu, going to select the form, leaving the menu, and uggggggggggggh……… it could’ve gone by so much faster.

Overall, despite some gripes that I have with the game, personal or otherwise, this is definitely one of the best ways that this sub-series of games could’ve ended out, managing to retain the same basic gameplay that fans have come to know and love from this series, while also expanding on it tremendously to where it could never go back to what it did before… at least, if it had the chance to. I would definitely recommend it for those who were fans of the previous Gargoyle’s Quest titles, as well as those who are a fan of more open-ended platformers like this, because this game will give you plenty of what you want and love out of these types of games, and you will feel satisfied by the end of it. Unless, you know, you do end up going to fight Phalanx right away, in which case you end up throwing the Demon Realm into chaos anyway… so, way to go there, ya demonic dickhead.

Game #520

On Friday, January 5th, I got a ping in a discord server consisted of one friend group about an impromptu Fortnite get-together. Since I admittedly regained an interest in playing it, and because said friend server has yet to really do much for several months, I decided to take the opportunity to see how the game has transformed and evolved over the years. Installed the dreaded EGS launcher, got marginally but not totally surprised by the increased file size, and proceeded to log back into my account from years prior. After all, it's only gonna be just for a few days, and then I’m off to uninstall it...

...but things didn't pan out that way. What has happened instead, was a transformation into becoming an Epic Fortnite Gamer. A near 3-week foray, money spent on the Battle Pass and both Gambit and Rouge skins, and grinding my way towards unlocking Peter Griffin's page, all while accumulating levels, Ranked medals, and other knick-knacks along the way. Life really does come at ya fast when you least expect it!

To go more in-depth into my prior experience: I'm very much someone who first played Fornite's at-the-time new Battle Royale format, played a couple of matches - both with my completely separate and no longer in touch friend group and solo - and thought it was kinda neat but really lacking in staying power. I'm uncertain if I was also one of many that thought it was simply gonna be a fad that'll fade away, since this was nearly 7 years ago now, but it matters naught since it's still here, and about as popular as it was since then. There's no need to cover much of what it's about, cause even if you never played it, you certainly know of it and the appeal, so I'm just gonna make this a thorough dumping ground of my thoughts as someone who finally came back to the bus.

Firstly, and more importantly, I'm glad that Zero Build is a mode that can be opted into. Now, I'm not besmirching the mechanic in its holistic entity, but I will admit one of the reasons I fell off pretty quickly originally was because of the gap between people who can build (especially PC players), and people who can't (especially console players). You can be a quickshot all you want, but as long as the other guy can spontaneously build a Jenga tower or a Minecraft fortress to recuperate quickly, your choices are to either eat shit, continue to pester them, or just give up and bolt out entirely. These types of encounters, to me, are fine in doses - the risk-reward allure is just balanced enough that it isn't entirely irritating, and the satisfaction method is incredible! That, however, begins to dissolve into ruin when it occurs ad nauseum, tying itself into state of the loop, and altogether just demotivates my ass since the most I can do is a stairway to heaven and maybe a few walls despite my flicks of the mouse and sensitivity zones. Even with the practice mentality, there's also the fact that, again, it's been 7 years - if you've played any sort of multiplayer shooter in mind, you'd know that there's a good chance that any sort of tech people know about, will inject and hone their craft to it to days on end, and I've seen plenty opponents do some shit that simultaneously leaves me fascinated and discontented. So, just having a mode where there's little frills to that, is appreciated, even if I do tap back into the regular option every now and then.

The other thing is that there's like... actual POIs and side activities now. I recall these being a thing in 2017, but it was a lot more minimalistic and very much in the vein of "we needed something to have players distract themselves and play the game with". Solid enough base, but combine that with the haphazard loop I had before, it again just made the dull grind even more prevalent. That nagging aspect is still present, but it's way easier to tolerate and avoid now. Vehicles, more movement options when doing on-foot roaming, an entourage group to pick off and reap rewards from to better your gamestate, and just the overall map layout is way, way more satisfying to convey and poke around than ever, even if I'm not entirely sure how prior seasons were like. Hell, this also obfuscates the other big critique that was going on at the time, which was how spacious people could become. Rarely has the thought of "man this is kinda boring" occur now since everything feels more fulfilling to explore and do, especially using grapple blades atop various points and just ZOOOOOOOOMING to where I need to go, or just ramming bogeys and guffawing at how high they get launched, or doing dopey motorbike tricks across hilltops. It's neat! It's exciting! It just about upends most of the issues I had to begin with!

I really don't have much else to like, add at this point, aside from some qualms:

- The bots here are on the opposite spectrum end of TF2's Bot Crisis; instead of being hammered down by some flagrant creations stopping any sort of enjoyment I can muster, there's more of an awe factor over how braindead they can be. I'm not quite sure how the system itself operates, but while I know and understand they're a necessity to fill up empty spaces, that becomes highly questionable when I see these guys fuck up easy picks, do some bizarre pathfinding and routine interactions, and somehow overcompensate within a quarter at most of the 100-player pool. This is the least egregious of the three ire I'm covering, but even then it's just... confounding. Not sure what's going on here!

- Aside from BR, there's now Lego Fortnite, Rocket Racing, and Festival. I only used LF briefly cause of an XP exploit, but I did at least put actual time into RR and Festival, and I'm thoroughly unimpressed with both. The former's a really dull and barebones arcade racer that couldn't even compete with some of the more straightforward affairs during the 5th Console Gen Boom, and well, Cold_Comfort goes over the woes of Festival even if I'm not that harsh about it. One could say these can be ignored since the main aspect is BR, but since they're easily visible upon the main bar of the lobby, I feel like it's fair game to expect these to be in a commendable quality - especially since Epic Games have been making big talk about user-generated content and have seemingly been in a stronger push in competing with Roblox.

- Since this is an ongoing season, solidifying and boxing the current meta state is tricky. What I can say for now though is that, with the feel of everything being good on a base level, there's a clear power imbalance. There's absolutely no reason to pick up the Hammer Pump variant of the shotgun, since Frenzy Auto has a strictly higher DPS and can easily mulch people by comparison; same goes for the Enforcer AR, being pitifully outclassed in speed and output by the Nemesis and especially Striker variants; I don't have any major beef with the Lock-On Pistol, due to its four-charge shots contains a slight buffer between each piece + all while leaving the player vulnerable should they be careless (especially to someone who Knows What They're Doing)... but the availability of this is perplexes me. I've gone entire games without either my downed foes or myself finding it, meanwhile I can simply trip across Ballistic Shields, a weapon that sounds about as good as it does while also not being nearly as OP as it sounds or others postulate, despite that being in a higher rarity color. Weird little quirks like that making the fights distinct but also just sort of headscratching as to where they could go. Also, maybe an Issue Of Skill, but I’ve seen instances of a bullet from my sniper shots clearly hitting its mark, but then somehow never registering?

I actually can’t recall the last time a multiplayer game had its pull on me quite like this, perhaps Among Us which had faced similar views. May keep this on for the time being until I actually do procure the Griffin or maybe Solid Snake since he’s close to being unleashed upon the world. I’m not sure where and how this chapter will go next, but if nothing else, it at least pulled me back in after years of inquisitive glances and intrigue. It is also carrying one of the most important mantles of any piece of fiction: having multiple patient zeros that will cajole someone into becoming a furry. Truly, this is a blessed time!

While the original arcade titles weren’t anything to write home about for the most part, the adaptation of the original game that was made for the NES, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!, was a definite improvement in many ways. Sure, it didn’t look or sound as good as its arcade counterpart, but it was still fast and fun, had great music, fun visuals for the fighters, addictive gameplay, and it keeps you coming back for more even if you face defeat, making you want to learn the patterns of your challengers so that you can knock them on their ass and claim that sweet belt for yourself. It is hands down the best boxing game on the NES, and it may also be the best sports game on that system as a whole, so naturally, since that alteration managed to do so well, Nintendo figured that there would be no harm in doing it once again. Naturally though, this next adaptation would be released for the hottest thing at the time, the SNES, and rather then taking the original arcade game as its basis, it would use its direct “sequel” instead, which would then lead to the release of the Super Punch-Out!! for the SNES.

Out of all of the Punch-Out!! games that have been released over the years (not including the arcade titles), this is the one that I had zero experience with whatsoever before going into it. Sure, I had played the original NES game long before finally beating it, and I have spent time with the Wii game for an afternoon or so, but in terms of this game, I had never really played it at all, nor even seen too many videos on it. However, given that this was Punch-Out!! that we are talking about, I wasn’t expecting this game to be anything I hadn’t seen before, so I was able to jump into it straight away with little to no trouble whatsoever. Now that I have beaten the game, I can safely say that, out of all the Punch-Out!! games that had been released at this point, this one is definitely the best, with no contest. Sure, it doesn’t add that much at all to the formula to make it stand out from its predecessors, but it manages to deliver the most fun, energy, and content out of all the games so far, to where it was wonderful to finally check out after so long.

The graphics are incredible for what it is, not only looking really great for the system and having wonderful sprites and animations for all the fighters, but it also looks just as good, if not BETTER than the original arcade title it is based on, which is something to admire, the music is great, definitely not being as memorable or iconic as the NES game’s tunes, but still providing the right amount of energy that should go right alongside one of these boxing matches, and it is great to hear, along with all the voice acting for all the different boxers and other characters, the controls are about the same as the NES game, but they do feel just as responsive and tight as ever to where you can jump in right away with no problems whatsoever, and the gameplay is also about the same as the previous games in the series, but it is fine tuned to being the best it has ever been.

The game is a boxing game, where you take control of Little Mac once again, now sporting a brand new look which includes a disgusting new haircut, go through four different circuits each with four opponents for you to fight, throw plenty of different kicks in varying directions to deliver the smackdown onto your opponent swiftly and painfully, make sure to avoid as many attacks as you can, while counter attacking at the right time to get the upper hand on your opponent, and stand victorious amongst all that fell before you as you raise that championship belt high for the crowd to see. It is all what you have come to expect from a Punch-Out!! game, and it all feels like it fits right at home here, providing a very similar, yet much faster and satisfying experience through and through, which was great to experience again after so long.

One big change that was brought back in was in the form of the Power Meter from the arcade games. No longer do you have to punch opponents at specific times in the hopes of getting a star, for now, whenever you build this meter up fully (without getting hit, of course), you are able to throw out devastating attacks to your opponent to deal massive damage, such as with hard-hitting uppercuts or with fast-flying rapid punches. These don’t feel as satisfying to pull off as the Star Punches from the NES game, unfortunately, but the fact that you can have an infinite amount of these to use as long as you don’t get hit is a fair tradeoff, and it does feel great to successfully nail that hit, and just watch as your opponent gets pelted by plenty of punches that knock down their stamina bit by bit. Aside from that though, there isn’t anything else that’s really new to see when it comes to the main gameplay, but that doesn’t bother me here in the slightest, as it still manages to provide the fun, snappy, and fast gameplay that I have come to expect with this series.

Aside from the main circuits, there are additional modes that you can try out in the game, such as a Time Attack mode, where you can see how quickly you can knock down your opponent and try to beat your fastest times, and a Records View Mode, just in case you wanna admire how good or terrible you are in comparison to all of the other fake records that are on display. Not only that, but you can also access a multiplayer mode by inputting a cheat code in the game, where you can duke it out with a pal and see who is the best boxer of them all that entered the ring…………… which many people didn’t know you could do for the longest time. Yeah, this mode was only discovered recently back in 2022, so the fact that there was no clue towards this being a thing from both Nintendo Power or Nintendo themselves beforehand is kinda surprising. Why wouldn’t you want to be able to beat the shit out of your friends like this?

With all that being said though, there isn’t much else to be seen within this installment. It is about as straightforward as you can get for a Punch-Out!! title, which could potentially turn away new players who are hoping for a little more variety and additional gameplay mechanics from this series. Then again, given how it is a boxing title, I’m not sure what else one could possibly hope to expect from these games. All they need to do at the end of the day is provide a fun, fast, and charming experience full of lovable racial stereotypes, and we got that in spades here, including returning characters like Bear Hugger and Dragon Chan, and even new faces to punch such as Aran Ryan and… Bob Charlie. The subtlety of that character hit me about as hard as a sledgehammer to the skull, let me tell ya.

Overall, despite a lack of major change, Super Punch-Out!! managed to take the fun and addicting gameplay of the original NES title and amplify it to new heights, featuring plenty of fun visuals, lovable characters, and fast and intense gameplay that makes me wanna come back for more even as I am typing this right now. I would highly recommend it for those who loved the NES Punch-Out!! game, or for those who are big fans of the Punch-Out!! series in general, because while this isn’t the best game in the series by a long shot, it still shows off what this series can do at its best, and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s just a shame that after this, we never did see another Punch-Out!! title for 15 years. Yeah, I get it, perfection takes time, and it was well worth the wait, but still, they could’ve sped it up a little bit.

Game #498

For those who are very familiar with some of the most noteworthy titles in video game history, then you would know that, generally, the Mario franchise is the one that not only catapulted Nintendo into the limelight for many years to come, but it also managed to revive the industry as a whole at one of its lowest points, making sure that the series would live on and go strong all the way up to this very day. However, what many may not realize is that, without the original Donkey Kong, we never would’ve gotten to this point at all. While it will never be as popular and beloved, the Donkey Kong series may just be one of the most important in Nintendo’s entire catalog, with the original three arcade titles still holding up pretty well to this day, even with the… weird changes that it would make with each entry (still not quite sure if Donkey Kong 3 was a real game).

However, after the third game, and aside from a few Game & Watch titles here and there, the Donkey Kong series would kind of just… vanish from the face of the Earth, going on an indefinite hiatus for an entire decade (sounds familiar, doesn’t it?). It makes sense, seeing that Mario was now taking the spotlight, but it is still kind of weird to think about. Thankfully though, after this period of nothing, the series would eventually bounce back in two big ways, starting off with the natural evolution for those original arcade games, Donkey Kong for the Game Boy.

Upon seeing the cover of this game and reading the title of the game, you may not initially think anything of it. You would probably suspect that the game is just a port of the original arcade game, with not much else of value to offer then just another portable version of Donkey Kong. Hell, the game even opens up with the four levels from the original arcade game as if to drive that suspicion home. However, upon completing the last of these levels, that’s when DK decides to flip the script, kidnaps Pauline once again, and Mario sets off to save her once again. This is where the game truly begins, giving you a lot more to experience and enjoy then ever before, making what I would consider to be the best classic Donkey Kong game ever made. Of course, it isn’t perfect by any means, and there are some issues that I do somewhat dread whenever I go back to this game, but for the most part, this does remain one of the best classic DK games, as well as one of the best games you could get on the original Game Boy.

The story is exactly what you would expect, with DK kidnapping Pauline and going to the extreme to keep you from reaching her, so it is up to Mario to travel all around the world to do just that, which is about as basic of a plot as you would expect, but it is one that is fine enough for the type of game that it sets up. The graphics are Game Boy graphics, but all of the sprites for the characters, locations you travel to, and the animations are incredibly detailed and charming, making the game a joy to look at all the way through, the music is wonderful, having plenty of classic and new tracks to listen to, each of them fitting both the situation at hand and the area that you are in as you keep going, the control is about what you would expect from a classic DK game, but it does add in a little more to where it doesn’t feel like just more of the same, and the game is mostly what you would expect from a classic DK game as well, but adds just enough in both the variety and content to where it ends up being much more enjoyable as a result.

The game is a 2D puzzle platformer, with the gameplay being divided into three different types of gameplay segments. For all of them though, you take control of Mario once again, go through many, MANY different levels all throughout plenty of different environments, jump over plenty of hazards, or even use tools to help get rid of said hazards, such as by throwing enemies at each other or by using the good ol’ fashioned hammer, gather plenty of items to not only help you proceed forward, but also give you the chance at getting extra lives, and take on DK himself in plenty of scenarios to get that extra shot at finally rescuing Pauline… only for her to be snatched from your grasp every time. Most of it should feel pretty similar for those who played the original DK arcade game, and it may not seem like it offers much new for those who are familiar with that game, but as you keep playing, there is quite a bit added here to make the game stand out more from its predecessors in plenty of ways.

In terms of Mario himself, he still controls how you would expect him to in most cases, but he also has plenty of new moves to his arsenal that you can use to your advantage. He can now pick up things and throw them, he can do backflips, somersaults, handstands, and he can fling himself on wires to reach higher places, making him much more capable and versatile than ever before. Not only that, but each of the levels in the game, no matter how far into the game it is, manages to either introduce something new to the formula to shake things up, or integrates said elements into the gameplay to make for some unique challenges and puzzles, which, for the most part, are pretty fun to tackle.

For most of the game, the levels consist primarily of puzzle stages, where your main goal is to simply get this oversized key to the door located somewhere into the level, and while that may sound easy enough to do, there are plenty of elements and hazards present in these stages that make this much harder to accomplish. These take up most of the levels in the game, and for a good majority of them, they are pretty damn fun, not only being very satisfying to clear as you jump or climb through all these obstacles, but also take advantage of the new gimmicks present to propel you forward towards your goal. For those of you that would rather prefer the old style of Donkey Kong over this though, have no fear, because there are also plenty of Battle Levels, which consist of you needing to reach the top where Pauline is by dodging plenty of obstacles, and these can be pretty fun to take on as well. And finally, there are the boss fights against DK, which just mostly consist of you taking any barrel you can get your hands on and throw them at him, which can get boring, but again, there are plenty of different elements present to make these boss fights varied enough to not get too boring.

Despite all of the good things this game has going for it though, there are some things about it that does drag it down from being perfect. For one thing, the game is WAY too long. The game has 101 stages, all of them being spread over 9 different worlds, and while a good number of these levels can be beaten pretty easily, there are also a good amount of levels that can take much longer and be much harder than before. Sure, that does give you plenty to do in the game, which I am all for, but there is a point where it feels like way too much, and every time I reach, like, the seventh or eighth world, I am always thinking to myself “God damn, how am I not done yet?” Not only that, but some of the levels themselves can be a huge pain in the ass, integrating elements that make going through them much more annoying rather than fun or satisfying, making going through them a complete slog whenever they do come up. This doesn’t happen all too often, thank god, but whenever it does, it truly does suck, and I never look forward to these levels whenever I go back to play the game again.

Overall, despite it lasting a little too long and having several levels that can just go fuck themselves, Donkey Kong for the Game Boy is a pretty great time, one that brings back the classic DK formula in the perfect way, while adding more and more to it that make it quite a surprise and a must-have for any owner of that good ol’ grey brick. I would definitely recommend it for those who are fans of the Donkey Kong series, as well as those who are fans of puzzle platformers in general, because trust me, this game will give you more than enough to have fun with for the amount of time that it lasts for. And hey, with this new game coming out, we would also eventually get a brand new sub-series out of it that is still going onto this day, so that is pretty cool. Or at least, it would be if, you know…. they would just get rid of the damn toys.

Game #486

Between backtracking, multiple parts that feel bloated for no reason, and a battle system that honestly isn't even that fun, I think nostalgia - and the internet telling people this game is great - carries this game a lot more than people realize.

I feel like a big problem with this game is that the last act - and some characters like Vivian - has a lot of good ideas and is written fairly well that people end up remembering that more than a lot of the faults of the rest of the game. Like, don't get me wrong, this entire game has some good ideas (the final boss, Vivian) and some good writing, but a lot of it is surrounded by a game that isn't really that fun to play until you get to the end where it feels like it was "worth it" to some extent just for the finale.

I played this game back when it first came out, and a few times since and my opinion on it has always been the same: it's nowhere near the masterpiece people say it is... which makes it kind of sad that this is also probably the best game (or at least Top 3) that Intelligent Systems has ever developed.

So far in my adventures through the TMNT games of yesteryear, I haven’t really found much to get excited about. Sure, there were some good games to be found so far, but nothing that is gonna make me want to come back to one of these games over and over again in the future, especially with the original NES title. So I figured, since I did just recently play through a bad Spider-Man game and a bad Simpsons game, I want to play through a GOOD licensed game for a change. Yeah, I may be skipping a couple of other games when making this decision, but who cares, we can always come back to them later, and then we can properly give them the ripping that they deserve. For now though, I have decided to revisit what many consider to be one, if not THE best TMNT game of all time, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time.

If you have heard anyone singing any praise about any TMNT game, chances are that it is either this one or Shredder’s Revenge, which did take most of its inspiration and ideas from this game. I myself have played through the SNES version before back in the day, and yeah, I remember loving it back when I did, thinking it was one of the best beat-’em-up games I had ever played at that time. It has been a while since that original playthrough though, so I figured that I should give it another shot, and yes, I am sticking with the SNES version of the game, because that is the best version of the two despite not looking as good. So, after playing through it again, I would say it is still pretty great to this day. It may not be that unique from other TMNT games, or other beat-’em-ups, but it makes up for it with its fun and satisfying gameplay that I didn’t get sick of at any point.

The story is about as simple as a TMNT story can get, about them needing to get the Statue of Liberty back from Shredder, which is about as goofy and ridiculous as you would want one of these plots to be, the graphics are pretty great, definitely being the best looking TMNT game so far, and while it doesn’t look as good as the arcade version, the SNES version still looks pretty good for a port, the music is FANTASTIC, being without a doubt the best soundtrack in any TMNT game, having some incredible tracks throughout the entire game, and not a single dud I can think of, the control is simple yet satisfying, with there being a good impact present for whenever you beat up anybody, and there are no problems with the general setup to speak about, and the gameplay is familiar, yet still satisfying to run through, especially with a friend to join you along the way.

The game is your typical Ninja Turtles beat-’em-up, where you take control of one of the four Ninja Turtles, take on a set of stages from your home in New York City, or throughout multiple points in time, even including 2020 (looks a lot different then what we ended up getting), beat up every single Foot Clan member, robot, and Pizza Monster that get in your way throughout the game, gather plenty of pizzas and special invincibility boxes along the way to give you an advantage over your foes, and take on plenty of familiar foes to come from the TMNT from either the classic cartoon or the movies of the time. As is expected, it is pretty much what you would expect from your typical beat-’em-up of the early 90s, with not much else going on to make it stand out from the crowd, but there is one aspect of the game that I have to admire over everything else: it does everything it sets out to do, while also not fumbling the ball at any point.

This is, in my opinion, the quintessential TMNT game. Sure, the other games had some positive qualities about them, and there would be future games that would also reach the same level of quality as this, but when it comes to some good ol’ classic Ninja Turtle action from the 90s, you can’t get any better than Turtles in Time. Everything about the gameplay feels extremely fun and satisfying, from beating up your foes, to the different types of stages that you can play through, to the rockin’ tunes that go through your head whenever you do play it, and of course, fighting for the pizzas against your friend so you can be the ultimate jerk. There aren’t many other experiences like this. And not to mention, when it came to the SNES version of the game, it did add more to experience and enjoy, such as with new bosses, new types of stages that take advantage of the console’s Mode 7 capabilities, as well as the ability to throw enemies directly at the screen, which is the main gimmick for one of the bosses. Granted, it does take away some other elements, like the lack of four-player co-op, but aside from that, it is still the great game you experienced in the arcades.

With that being said, if you aren’t into TMNT or even into beat-’em-ups, then I can’t really say that you can find much to love about this game. Like I mentioned, there isn’t much else that this game does differently when it comes to others like it, so if you are looking for anything new and unique from a beat-’em-up, you won’t get that here. Not to mention, there are some elements that, while they don’t bother me personally, they may bother others. First off, when it comes to the SNES version, just like other Konami games, they lock the true ending behind the hardest difficulty, but thankfully, they don’t lock any content behind the difficulties, so it really only matters if you really care about some text boxes. In addition to this, those annoying-ass instant kill attacks from the original TMNT arcade game make a return in this game, and while they aren’t that big of an issue this time around, it does still suck whenever they are thrown at you. But then again, I could always just get better, so whatever.

Overall, despite a lack of originality and some bullshit moments here and there, this is, without a doubt, the best TMNT game so far, and one of the best beat-’em-ups of the 90s that I have ever played. I would definitely recommend it for fans of the Ninja Turtles, as well as fans of beat-’em-ups in general, because while it may not become one of your favorites of the genre, I can guarantee that it will be a good time with a good buddy to play it with. Anyway, now with all that out of the way, how do I end this review? Uh… maybe by making a snide comment towards the remake of this game, but I never played that one. So, uh… ooh, remake bad, ah, they ruined my childhood, ugh, Konami should throw themselves into a pachinko machine and never come back out.

Game #393

After so many years of waiting to play Mario RPG, the time finally came and it was as magical as I thought it would be. It absolutely lives up to the hype.
It's not exactly a revolutionary RPG, nor is the narrative groundbreaking, but everything is so alive and full of character.

The action commands are gimmicky but not in a way that's obtrusive. In fact, they help enhance what is an otherwise - to its benefit - very simple combat system in a way that's super engaging. On top of that, the new Triple Moves are a perfect addition.

The soundtrack, both old and remade, are amazing, and the new visuals are absolutely stunning and modernize the original game's visuals in very authentic fashion.

I have a handful of minor criticisms with the game, but they're just that. Minor.
Overall, Super Mario RPG is a fantastic experience I would recommend to anybody, and is now one of my favorite games of all time.

...also, can we have Geno and Mallow in Mario Kart and Smash and a true sequel and everything else, pls?