Top liked reviews of this game are made by liars who wish to convince you that Castlevania II: Simon's Quest is a good game by inventing a better game in their heads to propagate around and somehow people are buying into it.
Actually try playing this game and watch as all the analytical dialogue you've experienced around this disappear in a heartbeat. And also go play a good Castlevania game.

It only gets more than half a star because it has some certified hood classics in it's OST