The Garten of Ban Ban is a misunderstood work of art. As the game starts off we appear in a seemingly abandoned School, supposedly for kindergartners hence the title. As we progress we find a keycard which unlocks a door giving you access to the games coupe de grace: The drone. A massively unique mechanic featuring a mechanical device allowing you to pinpoint locations with your crosshair and use your left mouse button to direct it into the button to press it. Of course, you can only use this after finding the 2 batteries, which are masterfully hidden. After opening a new door you see an unsettling figure peering out from the corner: the antagonist. The bird vanishes, and as you press another button in the eerie school, a playground lights up in front of you. The graphics here truly are mesmerizing, putting realities beauty to a test. The same bird requests 6 eggs for you to find, and each are placed in positions that keep the player engaged, while not causing too much frustration. After you insert the 6 eggs into the avian mouth, it regurgitates yet another keycard, which you use to activate a button that allows you to press a button which opens a door giving you a hammer which allows you to break the opposing barricade. An odd lift over a traumatizing pit lays in front of you, and as you pass you are bestowed a puzzle: You must recall the colors that the mascots vibrantly show throughout the masterful illustrations around the school. After solving the puzzle and grabbing a keycard, the bird is riding over on the same lift you used. You msut quickly use your drone to press a button to pen up a bridge, and hastily cross it to hit the button on the other side to slay the beast. Now entering a new room and hitting 3 more randomly scattered buttons with your crosshair and drone, a lift comes up from the floor... this school is more than meets the eye... As you get on the lift and descend into the dark, the giant green monster, Ban Ban approaches you, and knocks over your lift. This scare startled me to the point I almost turned off my computer in fear... but thankfully, I was greeted with a rewarding victory screen. My mind is boiling to see what kind of fantastic designs will be constructed in the future for the sequel, and I will be purchasing all merch from this game and forcing my family to wear it, in honor of this masterpiece, that saved me from suicide. Nothing in the world can be as interactive and chilling as Garten of BanBan

Garten of Banban II is a profound game that delves into the very essence of human existence. It offers a metaphysical exploration of what it means not just to be alive but to truly live. The game's underlying lore draws inspiration from the Hegelian dialectic, and its perspective on existentialist morality is exceptional. The game is truly une magnifique œuvre d'art, excelling in gameplay, storytelling, and theme. It is a remarkable piece of media that I would rank among my top six of all time, with its soundtrack even surpassing Ludwig van Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5 in C minor, Op. 67.

The storyline is captivating, and players will find themselves fully invested in uncovering the secrets of the underground facility, with a vibrant colorful cast and a 13 hour long sex scene. The gameplay is challenging yet rewarding, and the game's mechanics are intuitive, making it easy for players to immerse themselves in the game's world.

The graphics are stunning and add to the game's eerie atmosphere, with the sound effects and background music adding to the game's tension. The level of detail is impressive, from the textures of the environment to the animations of the enemies.

The game's main protagonist is a standout, easily earning a spot in my top 3 favorite games of all time, while the main antagonist deserves a spot in my top 5. The story is also impressive, earning my top four ranking, and the gameplay is a close second with my top two ranking. The game's excellence in all these aspects is a testament to its remarkable quality.

Overall, Garten of Banban II is an astounding work that offers a unique and profound perspective on the human experience. Its outstanding storytelling, gameplay, and theme make it a true masterpiece of the genre. It is a game that has left a lasting impact on me and will undoubtedly continue to do so for years to come. The game's captivating storyline, challenging gameplay, and stunning graphics make it a must-play for fans of the genre. If you're looking for a game that will keep you on the edge of your seat, then look no further than Garten of Banban II. My mind is MELTING to see what kind of fantastic designs will be spewed out of the Euphoric Brothers’ in the future for Garten of BanBan III, and I will be sacrificing my first born child in the name of Jumbo Josh & buying several pieces of BanBan merch.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Katamari Damacy Reroll. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also the Prince's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Katamari Damacy Reroll truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in The Prince's existential catchphrase "Its Katamari Time," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Bandai Namco's genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂

And yes, by the way, i DO have a King of All Cosmos tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎