Humanity’s absence from a forgotten land. Every symbol of its love and appreciation for its fellow citizens gone, with only the materialistic monuments of capitalism remaining. Skyscrapers, bridges, and malls; all in ruin, yet outlasting the people that built them. And in the middle of it all, a pink and shiny perfectly round mascot, meticulously designed in a board room for maximum consumer appeal, running amongst the decay and destruction with a big happy brand-friendly smile plastered on his face. In my mind, this game cemented Kirby as THE definitive emblem of the pure, unfettered evil of Nintendo’s relentless drive for financial dominance across the globe.

Kirby, Kirby, Kirby. What does he stand for? What does he believe in? Does he even have an internalized conception of himself and his place in the world? Ultimately, none of these matter. He is voiceless; a receptacle for player input with no thoughts or feelings of his own to convey, the same as most of the other soulless “heroes” that Nintendo creates in their games. And actions are what speak for him. He romps through the ruins of society, sucking up the cars, pipes, and vending machines that represent the industrial mechanisms that symbolized the death of society as the ruling class barged into positions of power, restoring them as he physically transforms his malleable body and idelogically vascillating brain in order to reproduce the effects of the mechanical powerhouses that destroyed the world he analogously barged into. He doesn’t stop there, though—on his way through the world, he destroys everything in his sight and mercilessly kills every animal in his way, showing that nothing will stop him in his quest to “restore” this hopeless land by reproducing facsimiles of the regulated apparatuses that will restore power to the bourgeoisie. Nintendo wants to tell you that your sole hope in fixing the broken and decayed world is having their recognizable and financially profitable brand come in and suck up all nature and history that remains, transforming itself into symbols of the society that used to exist in a way that looks more appealing and creates more dopamine so that you will eat it up with less resistance. Kirby will never be more than an imitation, a mockery, fashioned solely to line their pockets and nothing else. It’s vexing how grown adults can actually play this detritus and feel that they gained anything intellectually stimulating or valuable from it.

Kirby and the Forgotten Land is a game that teaches the children who play it to be irresponsible members of society, and moreover, it revels in it. But hey, “it’s fun,” right? All you need to worry about is consuming! Why critically think about the ideologies and institutions that you’re supporting and perpetuating. Surely that transient feeling of “fun” is worth more than the social and economic effects of consuming Nintendo’s creatively bankrupt waste built on the backbones of the underpaid workers who spent 12 hours a day programming this. Who cares about being socially irresponsible and contributing to the relentless cycle of financial exploitation, cultural hegemony, and ultimately literal mass murder of historically oppressed classes, when you can experience 10 hours of whimsical joy in blissful ignorance, kicking your feet and giggling? This product is more than just a hollow shell of everything that a video game is meant to be; it incites genuinely dangerous ideologies within its impressionable target audience, accelerating both sides of the globe into a conservative future devoid of collaboration and social justice, instead bending only according to the whims of shareholders and corporate overlords. This is what you wanted, isn’t it?

I always veered away from this series. Being lactose intolerant the thought of Pocky makes me a bit nauseous and so I never really felt the utmost comfort by the premise of having it shoved in my face constantly, as it is the protagonist's name. Still a part of me wanted to face my gripes and give it a try anyway. I'm glad I did. Future mentions of the woman in question will be intentionally misspelled. Do not correct them in the comments.

An accurate metaphor for indoctrination through brainwashing and the need for public revolution, Ocky and her newly acquainted friend fight tooth and nail to save Rocky's friends from the poisoned well they themselves drink from within. He comes to her empty handed, with nothing to give, asking only for generosity from the maiden herself. Realizing this would be for the greater good, Ocky stands with Rocky and endures nigh endless gunfire to protest against the evil source of mind control.

Ocky sets a beautiful example. One we should all take notice of.