Fey
2024
This review contains spoilers
Pregnant women in labor experiencing a fraction of the pain of anyone fighting Elizabeth on Merciless.
2013
This is the Black Panther of all gooners worldwide.
2010
The amount of soul this game has makes me forgive it for making me watch the four second item use animation like 80 times to get Saber's Thunderous Applause.
This was my favorite Zelda game for years growing up. I never managed to beat the 3D Zeldas as a kid, so while I did enjoy games like Majora's Mask and Wind Waker, nothing really hit the same way that ALTTP did until Breath of the Wild rolled around. It's a little weird, considering everyone else in my generation is the opposite, but growing up with a terrible PC that could barely emulate 6th gen games left me instead emulating more SNES and Genesis classics I couldn't play in my earlier years.
With Tears of the Kingdom releasing, and not having the time for it myself, I got nostalgic for this game and wanted to play it again. I decided to use the fan PC port, and try to clear it as purely as possible -- turning off all extra features, and avoiding guides as much as possibles (both things I abused as a kid). And replaying it now, there are definitely ways time hasn't been kind to this game.
The internal game logic is all over the place, more often than not dissuading creative solutions to problems (down to not letting you attack bosses with anything but your sword and maybe arrows if you're lucky). This ends up making figuring out how to solve certain puzzles more frustrating than it is rewarding, which takes the wind out of the core loop of the game.
This is an SNES game, and one that was undeniably boundary pushing for its time, so it feels a little mean to rag on it for quality of life, but the need to traverse the dungeon all over again if you die to the boss, not to mention needing to leave the dungeon to refill your bottles got really grating after a while. The Pegasus Boots also end up being useless as a quick traversal tool when you realize you can't turn while using them.
That said, there is still an undeniable charm this game has to me. Hyrule Map is incredibly well designed, and going through it is a ton of fun. Due to it being so small and each area being so distinct, it's easy to remember where to go back when you get an upgrade that solves a previously telegraphed roadblock. This game does a great job letting you know the tools to solve its mysteries, so despite being as old as it is, I'd be very hard-pressed to call it cryptic. In that sense, it's a perfect evolution over its prequels.
There's so much charm to the NPCs and world of the game that I can't get enough of. It's all poorly translated, yes, but the cartoony, adventurous feel reverberates and still gives this game its charm, even if future titles would undeniably do it better. It's just very addictive to want to keep going and want to keep interacting with the world and mechanics. Even when the dungeons aren't great, I just can't put the controller down and want to stop playing. And when they are great, that's when I can easily spend several hours on the game without even noticing.
Despite it all, the core loop of this game holds up, and If you're playing through the game nowadays, definitely make use of all the PC port enhancements and save state your own checkpoints. It's still absolutely worth playing... just don't feel the need to have a 'pure' experience like I did. I had much more fun when I didn't.
With Tears of the Kingdom releasing, and not having the time for it myself, I got nostalgic for this game and wanted to play it again. I decided to use the fan PC port, and try to clear it as purely as possible -- turning off all extra features, and avoiding guides as much as possibles (both things I abused as a kid). And replaying it now, there are definitely ways time hasn't been kind to this game.
The internal game logic is all over the place, more often than not dissuading creative solutions to problems (down to not letting you attack bosses with anything but your sword and maybe arrows if you're lucky). This ends up making figuring out how to solve certain puzzles more frustrating than it is rewarding, which takes the wind out of the core loop of the game.
This is an SNES game, and one that was undeniably boundary pushing for its time, so it feels a little mean to rag on it for quality of life, but the need to traverse the dungeon all over again if you die to the boss, not to mention needing to leave the dungeon to refill your bottles got really grating after a while. The Pegasus Boots also end up being useless as a quick traversal tool when you realize you can't turn while using them.
That said, there is still an undeniable charm this game has to me. Hyrule Map is incredibly well designed, and going through it is a ton of fun. Due to it being so small and each area being so distinct, it's easy to remember where to go back when you get an upgrade that solves a previously telegraphed roadblock. This game does a great job letting you know the tools to solve its mysteries, so despite being as old as it is, I'd be very hard-pressed to call it cryptic. In that sense, it's a perfect evolution over its prequels.
There's so much charm to the NPCs and world of the game that I can't get enough of. It's all poorly translated, yes, but the cartoony, adventurous feel reverberates and still gives this game its charm, even if future titles would undeniably do it better. It's just very addictive to want to keep going and want to keep interacting with the world and mechanics. Even when the dungeons aren't great, I just can't put the controller down and want to stop playing. And when they are great, that's when I can easily spend several hours on the game without even noticing.
Despite it all, the core loop of this game holds up, and If you're playing through the game nowadays, definitely make use of all the PC port enhancements and save state your own checkpoints. It's still absolutely worth playing... just don't feel the need to have a 'pure' experience like I did. I had much more fun when I didn't.
A deep character study on how guys behave around white and French women respectively.
Most effective pet propaganda ever made.
There's a lot to appreciate in Cartagra. It has a cast filled with likable characters that have striking and memorable character designs. The atmosphere is excellent, giving the story a somber feeling that's very unique to it. The art is beautiful, both the redrawn CGs and sprites for the original's content and the watercolor-style art that shows up in the remake-exclusive endings. When looking at all these in a vacuum, this should be an easy recommendation.
Unfortunately, though, Cartagra is a huge mess. This is a detective/mystery game where the detective doesn't do much detective work. The flow of the plot essentially revolves around Shuugo, our protagonist, asking his much more capable friends to investigate for him as he dawdles around and kills time, occasionally even ignoring the plot altogether depending on which ending you pursue. For the first two-thirds, the only one who ever seeks to forward the plot is his little sister, who, while occasionally entertaining with her ace detective shtick, is a rather flat character who is just a force of nature.
This leaves Cartagra's plot as pretty boring, and the reading experience way more dull than it has any right to be. It feels less like a story with events that explore its characters and moreso a string of uninteresting scenes to prepare you for the next big event. With the exception of Shuugo, Kazuna, and the game's main antagonist, the cast is also unfortunately not very fleshed out, even with the remake giving some of them their own endings. While I'd be lying if I said there's nothing worthwhile in there at all, it's really just an excuse for more screen time (and H-Scenes) with said characters without really showing us interesting new sides to them, or writing any inspiring events with them. You can especially feel this with Takako's new ending.
That said, there is a hidden beauty to this story if you pry into what it's trying to explore. While it doesn't spend the majority of its runtime exploring it well, the high points are quite remarkable for what they portray. The "Sacrament" scenario, alongside the remake's exclusive "true" ending it offers, helps reframe the plot through a more interesting lens and gives way to some of its most emotional moments.
While I can complain about the core game for days, it undoubtedly did something right for me to straight up cry at the ending. At the very least, Cartagra doesn't ask for much of you. Some tolerance for gore and eroge bullshit, maybe, but the whole package is only around 20 hours long, and shouldn't take you more than a few days to a week to finish.
Unfortunately, though, Cartagra is a huge mess. This is a detective/mystery game where the detective doesn't do much detective work. The flow of the plot essentially revolves around Shuugo, our protagonist, asking his much more capable friends to investigate for him as he dawdles around and kills time, occasionally even ignoring the plot altogether depending on which ending you pursue. For the first two-thirds, the only one who ever seeks to forward the plot is his little sister, who, while occasionally entertaining with her ace detective shtick, is a rather flat character who is just a force of nature.
This leaves Cartagra's plot as pretty boring, and the reading experience way more dull than it has any right to be. It feels less like a story with events that explore its characters and moreso a string of uninteresting scenes to prepare you for the next big event. With the exception of Shuugo, Kazuna, and the game's main antagonist, the cast is also unfortunately not very fleshed out, even with the remake giving some of them their own endings. While I'd be lying if I said there's nothing worthwhile in there at all, it's really just an excuse for more screen time (and H-Scenes) with said characters without really showing us interesting new sides to them, or writing any inspiring events with them. You can especially feel this with Takako's new ending.
That said, there is a hidden beauty to this story if you pry into what it's trying to explore. While it doesn't spend the majority of its runtime exploring it well, the high points are quite remarkable for what they portray. The "Sacrament" scenario, alongside the remake's exclusive "true" ending it offers, helps reframe the plot through a more interesting lens and gives way to some of its most emotional moments.
While I can complain about the core game for days, it undoubtedly did something right for me to straight up cry at the ending. At the very least, Cartagra doesn't ask for much of you. Some tolerance for gore and eroge bullshit, maybe, but the whole package is only around 20 hours long, and shouldn't take you more than a few days to a week to finish.
Would be 5 stars if there was an Aizel H-Scene.
2016
This is true videogame camp. I'd put this up there with Snake Eater on the "dumbest thing you've ever seen" to "gut-wrenching emotional writing" ratio. A zombie story that actually examines our relationship to life and death, taking place in an intricately built immersive sci-fi setting, with some of the best presentation in the medium of visual novels. Also: Akihabara is now called the HYPER GHETTO, and a certain character's trait that is key to kickstart the plot is literally being an empath. Play it.
i want to fuck kageaki so ufcking badly augwhghhhh i will not sleep until he pins me to the floor and
2021
Men will literally do this when they can't afford therapy.
2005
There's a Tumblr post that goes like "While you were attending therapy, I was studying the blade. What do you mean I need 'better coping mechanisms'?"
That's this game.
That's this game.
2022
The fact this game not only lived up to, but surpassed over 7 years of expectations is mind-boggling in itself, but the even bigger mindfuck is how well this game pays off material that was set up well over a decade ago in past entries, many of which fans didn't even notice until now.
It's not perfect, the cast isn't as good as past entries (although they're still pretty fantastic), the presentation can be somewhat inconsistent, and some plot decisions will be pretty divisive, but if you ask me, this is an insanely impressive Sci-Fi story that wouldn't be possible in any other medium and series. I'm so jealous of everyone that will get to experience it for the first time in English at 2023.
It's not perfect, the cast isn't as good as past entries (although they're still pretty fantastic), the presentation can be somewhat inconsistent, and some plot decisions will be pretty divisive, but if you ask me, this is an insanely impressive Sci-Fi story that wouldn't be possible in any other medium and series. I'm so jealous of everyone that will get to experience it for the first time in English at 2023.