82 Reviews liked by Garv


I don't get it. Generic minecraft youtuber uwu softboy #74 plays it live on twitch and gets circlejerked on twitter forever for being so funny, but when I write a racial slur in Quiplash not a single one of my friends laugh? The fuck is wrong with society

for every bullshit thing this game does there like 3 of them that are flat out genius. I will definitely reccomend using a guide for upcoming chapters, as this game LOVES to through curveballs at you.

Example: I was on chapter 12, and on that chapter the boss uses a sleep staff to put your units to sleep, a status ailment that puts almost all your stats to 0, renders you immobile, and never wears off. the EASY way is to use a warp staff, (you got the warp staff from the optional village right?) warp a strong unit to the boss and capture him before he puts anyone to sleep so you can steal his shit. well unfortunately my staff user wasnt able to use the warp staff yet, so my only option was to take some benched units, have them get put to sleep, and then let them get mauled by the enemies. this was then superseceded by another chapter with some great loot that once again is only available if you can use the warp staff. I could go on all day.

thanks kaga you finally made a fun fire emblem game

People keep talking about life changing stuff while this is the opposite that just makes you appreciate whatever you are doing in your life at this very moment. I mean you chose to play this game, it is all downhill from here so just enjoy it while it lasts! Addictive and challenging combat, cheesy but still excellent humour and quipping: There are chicks who can piledrive you and you can literally spank them to death! And many more absurd stuff like that. Even if you get bored of that stuff (why would you?) you can gamble in the casino which is addictive too. The casino made me learn how to play poker and even made me bond with my dad who just sits on his ass and watches news all night. The only complain I could give to this game is you can't play the last 11 arena challenges unless you replay the game which is what I am gonna definently going to do. The whole cast dancing to Mazinger influenced theme at the ending credits is just the cherry on top. Must play for everyone in this vast multiverse.

TL; DR - clears throat FINAL FANTASY V IS SO F-ING AWESOME THAT IT MAKES MY DICK ROCK HARD

I have to preface my musings by making the distinction between 'puzzle'-style gameplay and 'playground'-style gameplay in RPGs. FFVII is a typical playground-style RPG: the materia system is very flexible and customizable, so you can feel free to express yourself, build your characters in any way you like, and take any number of creative approaches to combat. FFIV, on the other hand, is a typical puzzle-style RPG: it often changes around your party composition and throws different challenges at you, often geared towards forcing you to make clever use of the resources and tools you have at that particular time with that particular party.

Time for my hot take: FFV is a better playground RPG than FFVII and a better puzzle RPG than FFIV. While FFVII does afford much more customization, it's also very easy which means you never really get incentivized to really explore the materia system and the varying combat options beyond spamming attacks/limits and healing when needed. FFV, on the other hand, is just tough enough to push you to explore the vast network of jobs and job skills to find combinations that work on that one boss.

The 'puzzle' aspect of the game comes from limited-job challenges like the Four Job Fiesta (let an RNG pick 4 of the 20 jobs which you have to limit yourself to over the course of a run). While this wasn't exactly what the devs had in mind, the fact that you can complete the game with any combination of four jobs (yes, even four Berserkers!) is a testament to how well balanced the game is. Playing the game with different job combinations each time forces you to come up with ever more creative solutions (no healer? Just equip flame rings and nuke yourself with Firaga!) to the puzzles the game presents, and unlike FFIV, the solution to the puzzle is different every single time you play. The sheer replayability and depth of the job system is what makes this my favorite game.

Run count: 51 and still not bored

TTT is better than Among Us

The most fun I've ever had with a JRPG, something I previously attributed to the original Xenoblade Chronicles. The sequel absolutely blows it out of the water gameplay and content wise. This game is packed with content (and it's all GOOD content) and the combat is the best in the franchise. I spent nearly 100 hours playing through the main story doing tons of sidequests and progressing my blade affinity charts. It's fun and rewarding to do sidequests while experimenting with different blade and character setups.

As far as writing goes I don't feel that it's the main selling point of the game, but it's something fans of the overall Xeno lore must experience. The pacing can get a bit awkward, some of the characters don't hit like they should but for any missteps there are a ton of positives to make up for them. The story is very ambitious and has a lot of great moments, the ending stretch is phenomenal. A lot of the stuff here feels out of the realm of possibility that the series established and a little more in tune with something like Xenosaga. Zeke and Jin are my favorite xenoblade character and antagonist, respectively. The party in general has a really cool dynamic in this game and they all have important roles to some degree.

Overall while your mileage may vary with the story and characters it's far from the worst ever in that regard. The gameplay is so good that I'm taken aback by how many people played a game this long, with combat that is apparently daunting for a lot of people, and still claim it's terrible with a straight face.

this games epic but it crushed my balls and im coming back to crush its balls later

edit: balls have been crushed, loved this game, surprisingly modern conventions for a gameboy game and great level design with interesting mechanics like splatting cake on the spikes to climb higher. fuck those drills in the rushifell level though

Didnt play it but i basically did through all of the screencaps garv posts, pretty good game

Probably my favorite visual novel in general.

The 25th Ward is a mess of random ideas and things pulled out of left field for seemingly no reason, but manages to make everything work and fall into place.

Amazing visual style, soundtrack, and existential character writing easily push this up into a comfortable spot of my favorites.

used my imagination to play this, pretty good

you overestimate your borger my friend