Interesting game in that I'm very acutely aware of every bad thing it does (Obnoxious catching mechanics, long uninteresting story that only picks up mildly in the last hour, a ton of repetitive busywork, some pokemon are just real bitches to catch), yet I don't really care? Game throws me in a crusty mountain, tells me "There's 240 little creatures for you to catch!", and it just has me by the balls. It's the most ive been engrossed by a pokeymans game since, shit, I was a child, probably because it goes to such efforts to make you feel like a person in a world of pokemon (Constantly under threat of being killed by a wild animal, harassed forever)

also with like the year and a half of detachment from the arguments i dont think this game looks all that bad. it's fine.

In many ways, I feel Garten of Banban is genius. For many of the reasons I thought Baldi’s Basics was when it first came out, it seems acutely aware of how absurd and dumb the whole genre of mascot horror is and exists purely as a stealth satire of the genre. You may see these games as a cynical cash grabs designed to take money from children and line the pockets of talentless Youtuber “humans”, but I see it as all of that but also really funny. Beats the fuck out of whatever the hell else is coming out of this dire wasteland of a genre. Does FNAF have Stinger Flynn in it? Didn’t think so. Anyway uh

Uhm….

Hmmm…..

Uh, so anyway….

Now that I’ve gotten your attention…..







THE OFFICIAL GUTTERTRASH RANKING OF EVERY EPISODE OF LASAGNA CAT!!

As I’m sure all of you know, Lasagna Cat is a Youtube series created by Fatal Farm consisting of 39 parodies of Garfield strips, and a sex survey. I love the series, it’s a classic, and I figured I’d sit down and rank all of them for you lovely Garten of Banban fans!

As a note, I’m not including Sex Survey Results. It’s easily number 1 though, if you haven’t seen it yet clear and afternoon and watch the entire thing please.

Anyway, on with the ranking!

39. 05/14/1979 - CANON IN D MAJOR
It is literally just fat Garfield with some statues in the background. Understandably bland for the second one. Nothing to comment on.

38. 03/08/1997 - RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT
I think the joke is supposed to be that it’s playing a particularly bad Limp Bizkit song? No substance. And no, I do not think that Limp Bizkit is fully, because they Rule.

37. 05/16/1985 - SHE’S A LADY
Ok he kinda hittin it doe

36. 10/20/1984 - IN THE AIR TONIGHT
That’s a very impressively well constructed take on a classic scene from Miami Vice! It’s a shame the punchline is “Justin Roiland does the Justin Roiland voice”. I guess they got in earlier than most on that.

35. 01/24/1994 - HERO
My total note on this is that it would’ve been infinitely better if they used the Enrique Iglasias song Hero or, God willing, the Chad Kroeger one from Spider-Man 1.

34. 12/20/1996 - FUNKY MONKEY DANCE
It’s just Colin’s Bear but as Garfield. Colin’s Bear is a classic but the original is better. Also, this one’s been soured on me because of the overabundance of bowling alley TV jokes about it.

At this point basically all of them are at least decent, thankfully they hit a pretty high point early on and mostly stuck to it, minus a few flops.

33. 01/26/1995 - EYES WITHOUT A FACE
There’s a lot of first-wave Lasagna Cats that don’t really have a joke and more just function as remixing the funny Garfield strip to fit the mood of a random song. This one does that. It does it fine. Eyes Without a Face does most of the heavy lifting, though, since it’s a banger.

32. 09/15/2006 - ONE WEEK
Likely biased because I hate One Week as a song. It’s adequate.

31. 04/20/2007 - THE POWER
Stop starin’ at me with them big ol’ eyes.

30. 4/16/2007 - HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT
Ok he kinda hittin [Jon] doe

29. 05/20/2005 - DESPERADO
It is incredibly funny that the Eagles modern legacy is basically just preventing full collections of stuff away from the general public. They keep Nostalgia, Ultra off streaming cuz of one sample, they keep this Lasagna Cat clip off Youtube, and for what? So nobody hears their shitty Barbecue Pit ass music outside of official Eagles Approved Musical Avenues? FUCK you, Eagles. You ruined art.

28. 03/28/1992 - THE ENTERTAINER
Jon sure does go in a loop. Is this a reflection of the cyclical nature of our favorite cartoon cat? It cannot be.

27. 04/25/1979 - ANGELA (THEME FROM TAXI)
THEY COOKIN’! ODIE AND GARFIELD FUCKIN’ IT UP!!!!! ENCORE!!!!

26. 03/24/1979 - BAILAMOS
I don’t even really get the joke of the original strip. Why would Garfield care if Odie danced instead? Garfield would have no interest in showing him up, he’s apathetic at most. Does he secretly want to for Jon?

25 - 21. 02/24/2006, 04/04/2001, 01/05/2005, 11/01/2007, 01/19/1987 - COME TO MY WINDOW, I’LL NEVER GET OVER YOU GETTING OVER ME, THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT, EBONY AND IVORY, MANIC MONDAY
These are all just aforementioned vibe videos for the original songs. They’re all good! Not interesting enough to discuss on their own. They’re interchangeable.

Ight from this point on it’s the good stuff. These ones are all the really good shit. It’s a good sign that a little bit over half of them are in this category.

20. 02/18/2009 - SONGBIRD
I Mandela Effect-ed myself into thinking there was a Garfield Horse in this one, and upon rewatching it and finding there wasn’t one I was so disappointed I moved this one to the exact middle spot of the list. By Garfield Horse, i mean a horse/Garfield hybrid, not like the clip of Garfield riding a horse that is actually in this.

19. 10/25/2004 - A WHOLE NEW WORLD
I want to travel the world with Garfield. I want to see the stars with Garfield. I would love to go with him.

18. 06/01/1982 - MACARENA
Ok he REALLY hittin it now

17. 04/08/1998 - HEAD LIKE A HOLE
The original run of Lasagna Cat ends on a strange but fitting dark note, as the seedy underbelly that would further be reflected in the Second Wave makes itself fully known. Love Jon’s nips.

16. 12/03/1991 - CHATTAHOOCHEE
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWW~!

15. 08/18/1978 - FINAL FANTASY 6 MEDLEY
The original. The face of the series to many. A tad bit overrated. Iunno, it’s funny obviously but it never did that much for me beyond it.

14. 06/15/2007 - EMERGE
I think the original strip this one’s based on is actually kind of funny because it reminds me of this. S/O the incredibly rare Liz appearance.

13. 05/16/1987 - SUICIDE IS PAINLESS
Easily the best of the straight music video ones. Love how weirdly melancholy it is. The closest to true capital B Beauty the series reaches, at least in the first wave.

12. 08/14/1986 - FERGALICIOUS
I have no idea how they thought this would ever stay up on youtube lmao

11. 05/22/1980 - JURASSIC PARK THEME
Personally I would disagree with the consensus these reviews reach with the second Garfield being better than the first, I have no idea how you could really have a preference for one mound of EPIC CINEMA over the other.

10. 07/27/1978 - KUNDUN SCORE
Okay so like, this is number 1. This is the best one. But like, I’ve only watched it once all the way through, and I don’t really intend to watch it again any time soon, so unfortunately it slides down a bit because it lacks the replayability of the others.

9. 02/26/2003 - CREAM
I like sending this one to my boyfriend (shoutout @MaiaCustom) cuz it grosses him out and I find it funny when he calls it yucky. Poking around the website in the video might be funnier than the vid itself.

8. 05/15/2006 - RIGHT NOW
0Slow zoom on Jon’s stupid face still kills me. Top notch presentation overall. Right now, I’m laughing at a funny cat video online.

7. 06/08/2001 - BAD ROMANCE
Another victim of Hollywood, taken from us too young. Maybe I was confusing Garfield Horse with the Jon Hell Beasts? Inconclusive.

6. 06/09/2001 - IN DA CLUB
Makes me significantly more uncomfortable than Cream ever did. I hope someone’s jacked off to the mouse stripper before to make me feel justified in saying that. Classic Jerkass Garfield behavior in this.

5. 02/24/1979 - TRUE
Jon knows the truth…that this is the best of the first season by a longshot.

4. 12/04/1980 - FIRESTARTER
Garfield never exited the call with Odie when he went to masturbate at the end. Anyway, this is Epic. Basically a Hypnospace Outlaw bit in the best way possible.

3. 10/26/2007 - CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE (MIDI VERSION)
Took me way too long (Multiple years) to realize this was supposed to be a Hyakugojyuuichi riff. I think the well of more modern Animutations is full of fertile ground that’s untapped, as proved by this video.

2. 07/30/2000 - HOME COMPUTER
Unfair! Uses one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite albums! Presents to me an ideal future, roaming around the internet in hopes to intercept your fraudulent Dingleball purchase.

1. 11/19/1979 - BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S
There are very few instances I can remember finding something funnier than when I found the original version of this and learned the joke was literally just encouraging people to harass Jim Davis with mail to have breakfast with Garfield. The redone ending is also funny, but goddamit Jim, I wanna have breakfast with Garfield IRL! Your greed knows no bounds!!!!

Well Backloggd, this has been my list ranking every Lasagna Cat episode from worst to best! Remember to like, comment, and share the video with friends if you want to see this page grow, and donate to my Patreon at the link below if you want to support what I do here! Finally, click Subscribe and ring the bell if you would like to be notified of all my future reviews. This is GutterTrash, signing off!

The puzzles in this one just straight blow ass. Easily the worst in the series, rivaling the OG with all of it's scuffed stupidity. Over a third of them are just "arrange these objects in the correct way" which gets boring real fast, way too many "get to the end of this maze under X conditions" also. There's only like 8 puzzles in the whole game where you have to write an answer. They're also all super easy! It could just be that I'm a lot smarter than I was when I played the other games (Unlikely) but I only really had to use my brain once every 20 or so puzzles. Kinda inexcusable for a series based entirely on puzzles (In fairness, I can't imagine 87 year old Akira Tago was on his A-Game making these). The side minigames blow too! Normally they're brutal but these ones are baby easy! WHat the heck gives!!!

Plot's weird. Starts out promising in the beginning with it's odd plot hooks but then sags in the middle massively with random side story stuff, leaving the resolution super rushed. Think the hunt for the 7 Needles in Mother 3 but way longer and significantly more disconnected from the main plot. Not wholly uninteresting, but god does it drag and make you forget why you're even doing it in the first place.

I was gonna call the plot absurd, but it's a Layton game. They're all absurd. I don't know if this would even rank among the most absurd in the series.

But, I dunnooo. It's still got that Layton je ne sais quoi to it that kept me through the whole thing. Endlessly charming, still love all the characters and their interplay, art is as good as ever. The heart of the franchise was clearly still here, just the other vital organs were on their last legs.

still hype as fuck for the new one tho, finally gonna be a good switch exclusive

I was born post-Y2K so I'm not gonna pretend to act like I have any experience with what the internet was actually like at the time, but even as a spectator to that whole era I can still see this as maybe the best piece of art ever made about how much it means to be a part of a community you belong to. About knowing your roots and preserving your history, even in the face of societal adversity. About how capitalism can ruin art whenever it feels like it. It feels universal. It lures you in with goofy character writing and funny observations of days gone and then punches you hard in the gut with the force of how much those types of things mean to you.

they got me cryin over the heavyhanded christian theming at the end!!! goddammit passionate collective of talented artists who made this thing i hate u!!!!

was a big fan of pressing a button and blowing up the british pariliament building, peak video game wish fulfillment

basically just a full game version of those old clickamajigs that used to be on nick.com. those are a thing everyone remembers, right? like the one with the demon kids that dont like black licorice and the one where the dude with the chemistry set turns into a girl or w/e. you get the point tho its basically just a series of buttons that make wacky shit happen. usually pretty interesting stuff, like the sound design how most everything is just mouth noises, and theres def enough memorable gags. just gets kinda tedious after a while.

also its very funny just instantly picking the correct button out of like 15 or w/e and instantly teleporting out of a room without doing anything. peak gamer here

A game dripping in odd charm that makes it very easy to look past any of the real big faults. Juste is an odd beast to control, I never thought I would describe a Castlevania game as floaty, but once you get the hang of him he's surprisingly fun with everything he has in his kit, especially the relics you get later on. One of the best castles in the series for my money to go with it, feels great exploring every odd nook and cranny and coming back to old areas with new abilities. A bit hard to see where you have and haven't been at points, but I never got too turned around at any point. Even if you're not progressing the main story, you're sure to stumble upon a lot of cool set pieces, from the giant you feed into a gear grinder to the pinball race. Sure, it's piss easy most of the time, but even in the not very engaging moments its still fun barreling through shit with your overpowered as hell spells.

The real thing that stands out to me with this is it's really weird aesthetic bend. The very eye-popping colors and shapes very clearly designed with the non-backlit GBA in mind, particularly on Juste's sprite and his weird shadow following behind him, gives the entire game a very uncanny, dreamy vibe that fits perfectly with the more fragmented, memoryhole-esque tone. Those mods that give the game a more in-line look are disgusting, why would you want to kill the game's unique identity in favor of making it more like everything else? Weirdly abrasive ost bops too. Love how it really rolls with being stuck on a console with a shit soundchip instead of trying to do more bootleg SNES type stuff. Wikkid.

at first its goofy janky fun. like, haha, the game just kind of abruptly starts by dropping you in a hole! the walk cycle's only two frames! the jump is weird and clunky! minecraft ass dashing! the worst walljump ive ever seen in a game! and that powers you through like the first couple hours of wandering around and fighting shit

then it dawns on you that oh, this is what im stuck with. a dogshit designed castle with annoying enemies and some of the most unsatisfying bosses ever. at that point you either power it out cuz you heard the dracula finale is good or you decide its not worth playing more of it and stop altogether

The average plebian consumer might call this game a simple "Action-Platformer", but I would like to posit that perhaps this game would be better suited as being known as a strategy game. Much in the same way that proponents of fencing will often call it "Chess at 100 miles per hour", Ninja Gaiden is very much a game where the player is forced to make split second decisions at any singular moment. Would it be more advantageous for me to jump forward at this approaching enemy, or should I wait in place for it to pass? Should I take time to turn around and kill the dog or bird encroaching on my position, or would it be more wise to let the screen scroll kill it? Are these foes worth disposing of with my secondary weapon, or would it be simpler to just take a strategic hit and barrel forwards? This constant sense of exhilaration and forward progression keeps you on edge the whole time, keeping you clawing further and further in this game of inches. In order to best this program, one must not only be adept in the ways of NES platforming, but must also act as tactfully as possible, lest they be caught off guard by the creature that jumps at you from off the screen. One must be in full control of themselves to weather the storm.

None of what I said applies to the bosses, which all suck. 6-2 is on thin fucking ice too

For years ive heard people call this a hidden gem and secretly the best platformer on the NES, when in reality it actually kinda blows! More technically impressive than good: I'm sure a lot of time and effort was spent on making this game control how it does but the end result's a game feel similar to how the slippery ass crouch in og SMB feels (thank you to Backloggd user "Chandler" for this observation, nail on the head there). Found the star attack incredibly annoying and cumbersome to use, especially with how bizarrely aggressive the enemies are. Levels all are nondescript and uninteresting, not particularly geared to the feel of your character. As the title suggest, feels all like one big gimmick!

Music's ok