So don't get me wrong, I get it. I think this game is a towering achievement in game design. Without it, we wouldn't have what is one of my favorite games ever, and likely one of the best games to ever be made (Elden Ring).

The world design Lordran is absolutely terrific. The way the world is interconnected leads to so many fascinating moments of discovery that leave me in genuine awe. The combat system and learning how to parry enemies was so much fun. Getting used to every enemy's move sets to strategically destroy them is super satisfying.

The sense of uneasiness and wonder that compound upon one another is enough to draw anyone in for countless attempts at replaying. And yet all of this praise is just to say--

I FUCKING HATE THIS DUMB GAME.

Obviously, "hate" is a strong word. I just praised it in numerous ways, all of which are my genuine feelings, but all of them also come with an extreme amount of caveats. First of all, despite the interconnectivity of the world being really well done and interesting, it does lead to some "run ups" to bosses being so fucking annoying that it makes the boss so much worse. There's a reason subsequent titles put bonfires before boss rooms as well as include fast travel. It's because walking 2 minutes and past multiple annoying enemies just to be killed immediately by two dogs that invoke bleed is not fun.

The combat is joyous to learn, but also ends up feeling like it's lacking in depth from time to time. I definitely could've spent more time learning things, but at the end of the day - it just all feels too basic. A lot of just feels clunky, and the mechanics like rolling just never feel like they worked half the time.

The game also visually looks like trash, like I get it's from 2011, but man even Demon's Souls' original PS3 version didn't look this bad. And I was playing the remaster.

This game is just tedious. People say it's challenging, but I don't really think it is. I love Elden Ring. I love a challenge now. I'm not against a hard game, but I don't feel like this game was ever challenging unless you consider being unfair a challenge. It reminds me of those "unfair" mods of games, except that's just the game.

Why is a boss locked in a narrow room with one staircase and two bleed dogs?

And maybe the real challenge and good game design comes from post-Capra Demon, but I have tried to justify continuing this game and trying to beat the Capra Demon, but my only way out was to restart the game so the merchant who sells fire bombs is alive again so I can cheese the boss by chucking them over the wall.

And just for what? So I can be hit by another one of the areas that people bitch and moan about? The Depths and Blighttown are immediately next. What's the fucking point? If someone wants to float me a save file of them in Anor Londo, I'll play it - but for now I'm done.

No score cause I ain't beat the game.

Sonic Heroes is a game that a lot of people really really like. I am not one of those people. As you can see, I have marked this game "abandoned". I beat the Sonic story today. I am done. The thought of going through 3 more campaigns all using the same 15 hour long levels that are stuffed full of repetitive platforming, bad enemy placement and rooms where the game's horrific combat is made the focal point.

I'm just done. I wanted to close out my time with the game with something as close to positive as I could have and this is that.

I think the last three stages before the final stage are pretty good and the game doesn't start terribly, but this is such a frustrating fucking game. None of the characters play properly, the game is so fucking slippery and the entire game is full of bottomless pits that will suck your lives dry. I wish I was getting sucked dry, man.

And this game's voice acting sucks. The story sucks. It looks good, but at what cost? GET ME OUT OF HERE.

Did you know you can beat Sonic Adventure 2 in only 4 and a half hours? I didn't until today, it usually takes me around 8. Turns out I'm absolutely cracked at this game.

I love this game and I am absolutely tired of pretending that I don't. I'm tired of pretending it's "aged poorly" or "only the Sonic levels are good". The whole thing is good, bitch. Sonic stages slap, I love the mech shooting levels (most of them) and the treasure hunting stuff is fun, purely because you can explore these nice looking and designed levels.

The cutscenes, dialogue and animation are all a massive step up from Adventure 1, with the only real downgrade being the horrible audio mixing. I don't know what was up with that, but it throws me for a loop every time I play this game.

Every aspect from SA1 is improved upon in SA2 except for the Sonic levels. Those don't get worse here, but they're different. They're different types of stages, focused more on different things. But they still RIP. City Escape, Metal Harbor, Green Forest, Pyramid Cave, Crazy Gadget, Final Rush, Radical Highway, White Jungle, and Final Chase are all fantastic levels and some of the best in the history of the franchise. Notice I didn't mention Sky Rail? It's the only mid one.

The treasure hunting levels see such a great upgrade here. People complain about the radar changes, but I don't mind it - especially when every level is so huge and fun to explore. When you've played the game over 15 times, you start to reliably know where emeralds are so half the time it's a breeze. Unfortunately, these levels are home to the two worst stages in the game (Security Hall, and Mad Space). They don't suck because they're treasure hunting, they suck because Security Hall has a terrible time limit and bad gimmick, and Mad Space is nauseating.

The mech levels take the already amazingly fun Gamma stuff and turn it into an even better romp. A major issue with Gamma's levels were the lack of a challenge. Half of the time you could run through them and just be done without having to manage the timer. Here, there's a lot of challenges with platforming and getting through waves of enemies. I do wish that they kept the combos adding time aspect, though, because there's no real reward to chaining combos in this game except for an A rank.

All of the boss fights are far better, too! All of the character rival battles are still stupid as they are in SA1, but the other bosses are fun and more challenging. Sometimes they don't work at all, but most of the time I really enjoy fighting them. Even King Boom Boo feels natural to me at this point.

And I haven't even talked about the story yet. While I really liked the way the story was woven in SA1, SA2 drops that for a much more linear experience, and in doing so, a much more enjoyable story. If SA1 is a Japanese kaiju story with environmental undertones, SA2 is an American summer blockbuster about saving the world.

I haven't even mentioned Shadow. This dude is so EPIC. I love his character and how he's portrayed as this edge lord, but is really just a big softy at the end. His decision to save the world, and then ultimately sacrifice himself is so good. I love the fight against the Biolizard, too. Shadow battling the Ultimate Lifeform prototype and reclaiming himself is so cool.

The final hazard fight is also amazing. The entire setpiece is peak Sonic and the final boss is a fun challenge (even though I can decimate in a little over a minute now). And Cannon's Core, while a little long, is still an amazing final level and something that SA1 lacked.

Sure there are massive holes in the story, but I don't care. It's EPIC. Sonic breaks into the President's limo and then rides a space shuttle to space.

I also love not having a hub world. The hub world in SA1 SUCKED frfr.

Anyway, this game fuckin ROCKS. See ya.

1998's Sonic Adventure is a game you have to learn to love. In 2022, it's easy to write this game off as a failed game that breaks more often than it works. With terrible cutscenes, bad voice acting and an even worse camera, it's not hard to see that point of view - but when you actually sit down and play it, I think this game has a lot of fun to offer.

Again, there's a lot of clunk here, and the DX version I played on Steam adds to that. The camera is abysmal. Genuinely terrible. You can barely control it and half the time it snaps to behind a wall so you can't see anything. It's not a huge problem in some levels, but in most of the open hub worlds it sucks and in some campaigns (cough Knuckles cough) it can easily ruin the experience.

The cutscenes look and sound horrible. I know it's an old game, but it's insane how in just 3 years, Sonic Adventure 2 looks so much better in a lot of its cutscenes. And the voice acting is far better there too.

Now, since this game is actually more like six games in one - I'm going to talk about them each separately. Starting with the best of them - Sonic.

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG:
Sonic's campaign might just be the single best 3D Sonic anything. No, I mean that. The level design is so damn good, with alternate paths and secrets along every possible corner. The levels are a blast to play through (except Sky Deck) and I genuinely want to revisit all of them to get all of the emblems.

The best stages are easily Emerald Coast, Red Mountain, and Speed Highway. All three of those feature some of the best Sonic level design in 2D and 3D, by just allowing Sonic to explore these vast open areas - while also throwing in some terrific set pieces.

Not to mention, Sonic controls brilliantly. How Sonic controls in 3D has been a topic of tense debate recently, with people criticising the lack of momentum in recent games. It doesn't bother me too much, but I will say - coming off of playing all of the 2D games before this, it's really awesome to see Sonic control basically the exact same as he does in those games. Being able to use your momentum for a jump to carry you the entire way is so nice. I love how Sonic feels here.

MILES "TAILS" PROWER:
Tails' campaign is a lot shorter, so I don't have much to say about it, but it's good! The concept of racing Sonic is fun and it's really fun to break the level geometry with Tails and just go flying off into wherever you wanna go.

A lot of his stages can feel a little too simple, but he makes up for it by just being fun to play and I like his bosses a decent amount, too. It's also a really neat fact that the game makes Eggman's dialogue more menacing in the Tails story!

KNUCKLES THE ECHIDNA
Knuckle's story is the first one to have a radically new gameplay style. Both Tails and Sonic just focused on getting to the goal ring, but Knuckles is all about treasure hunting. This is both cool, and frustrating. For one, when the treasure hunting is in an appropriate level, it can be really fun! Red Mountain and Lost World really put Knuckles in the best places to explore for pieces.

On the other hand, placing him in Casinopolis, Sky Deck, and Speed Highway end up leading to levels that either take no time at all, or too long because this is not a level Knuckles should be in. I do enjoy how Knuckles plays and I find his levels to be fun at the end of the day, but there could've been better choices for some of his levels. Windy Valley, Ice Cap or Emerald Coast would've been better than the three I brought up.

AMY ROSE:
Amy's campaign is three levels. It's fine. I don't really like how Amy controls. It's cool in concept, but in execution she's often too slow and having to rely on her hammer jump is very aggrevating.

The straightforward platforming is cool, but it's three levels and just too short to really care for. It's one of the core issues with a few of these campaigns - they don't really add much. Once you get through the big trio, the rest just feel like fluff.

BIG THE CAT:
It's fishing. On the Dreamcast. It's not good. It's not terrible, but it's not good. If this were a minigame, nobody would care. But locking Super Sonic behind this campaign is so ridiculous.

E-102 GAMMA:
This is the second best campaign after Sonic. Once again, I don't feel like it adds a whole lot to the game, but the run and gun shoot 'em up action of every level is so fun. I also like scoring combos to get time back. All of the boss fights are fun, too.

And Gamma does have a cool character thing, so maybe it does add something!

SUPER SONIC:
Chaos final boss is lame. It's cool as a set piece, but the boss is piss easy and really doesn't feel as grand as it should.

So yeah, that's Sonic Adventure! The story is whatever. It's not very good, but it's not bad either. I do like how it's split up among the characters, and the fact that you don't feel like you're missing any huge pieces is nice, since every story just tells you the relevant info to the character you're playing as. BUT playing all of the campaigns and seeing everything is really fun.

I wish the game was maybe just Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Gamma, because i'd replay the whole thing a lot more - but from now on, I'm probably just sticking with Sonic and Gamma. Still, Tails and Knuckles would be fun to revisit sometime!

Never Big.

It's better than Episode 1, that's for sure. By how much? About half a star.

The game looks better, I actually really like the flying mechanic with Tails, and it does feel a bit better, however you'll still just want the game to end. I got through acts 1 and 2 and halfway through 3 before I got tired and turned the game off. It was after that that I realized that I will not be turning it back on.

Do better, Sega. Fuck these games.

I only played 36 minutes of this according to Steam before dropping it. What a terrible game.

It looks like shit. Like it looks fucking TERRIBLE. Downright ATROCIOUS. The models are awful, the animations are terrible and none of the stages look like there was any care put into them. They're all complete reskins of other Sonic zones.

Something about this game just controls so fucking poorly. I cannot even put my finger on it. It's not the usual 3D in 2d Sonic control problems. It's something else entirely.

I hated my 36 minutes of playing this. If I could get a refund - I would. But I got this for $1.25 on G2A so I'm kinda screwed.

Casino Climax SUCKED.

Sonic Mania is a game that I used to play a lot of when it first came out - but I never got very far. I would always get to "Flying Battery" and go "this kinda sucks" and put the game up. This is a shame, at the end of the day, because Sonic Mania FUCKS.

I'll get one thing out of the way - this game's overreliance on past nostalgia and other game's stages do drag it down. I get it - this is an anniversary title, it makes sense, but when its stage selection is sort of baffling, I sort of just wish it was only new stages.

Especially because the new stages are all peak 2D Sonic. Seriously it does not get better than this. "Studiopolis" is an ABSOLUTE bop. The stage's aesthetics are so damn good, the music is wonderful and the boss of the zone is so damn fun. I just love it.

"Press Garden" is even EPICCER. I love the dynamics of the stage, and the music is so fucking cool. I guess I shouldn't bitch about the reuse of old stages so much, because the "Stardust Speedway" in this game is terrific, but yeah back to new stages.

"Mirage Saloon" and "Titanic Monarch" are probably the weaker of the new additions, but both are still great. "Mirage" has a really cool act 1 that puts a new spin on a Sonic 2 stage, and act 2 is full of really cool easter eggs. "Monarch" just goes on too long. I love the aesthetic, music, and gimmicks of the stage. The gravity balls really allow for some fun momentum jumping. I just think that the level should've been cut down, especially in act 2. It's still easily the best final zone in one of these games, though.

I also love the final boss. It's such a fun gauntlet to jump around with all these phantom ruby versions of other bosses. It's a true challenge and it was fun to have a final boss that didn't feel extremely bullshit or too easy. Just a great, fun challenge.

Still, this is a great swan song for my 2D Sonic journey. All of the references work so well after playing through everything, not even just old stages, but mechanics from other 2D games in stages they weren't originally in. Just a ton of really cool things.

Wait...I have to play Sonic 4 next? Oh man.

Sonic 3 + Knuckles is a really interesting video game. First of all, it's long as balls. The first three 2D games I played were all fairly short, which I liked, because even if they had elements I hated - the short playtime allowed for me to have the idea of replaying it. This game doesn't have that. Well, I'd probably replay it - but not because it's short.

Sonic 3 & Knuckles is definitely one game, and one you need to play as a single game, but it's definitely a game split in halves so I feel like it makes sense to talk about it like that. The first half of the game is probably the most consistent. Four of the six acts are pretty great, with the highlights being "Ice Cap Zone" and "Launch Base Zone".

I think the final boss of Sonic 3 is pretty great, too! Big Arm is pretty based and I think overall things end off really nicely. I just wish "Hydrocity" and "Carnival Night" were good, because otherwise, this is probably the strongest run of stages Sonic has. They can be a little long sometimes, and some of the puzzles can disorient, but overall - I still really like this first half.

Sonic & Knuckles starts things off pretty poor. "Mushroom Hill" is really annoying and "Flying Battery" absolutely sucks. It's like "Wing Fortress" but even DUMBER. "Sandpolis" really shows that epic highs and lows of 2D Sonic. Act 1 is fantastic, with so many cool set pieces like climbing down the mountain and all of the sand falling moments. Love it.

ACT 2 ON THE OTHER HAND - IT BLOWS. I hate the final chunk of it. When the sand is rising and you have to jump and do tight platforming all while some dumb fuck ghosts continue to fuck with you. It's shit. Who wanted time management in a Sonic game?

Luckily, the rest of the game from "Lava Reef" to the end is really cool. I did almost give up on the final boss, but the feeling of actually playing it flawlessly and beating it made it all worth it. "Sky Sanctuary" is another true highlight of this game.

The game as a whole is definitely just really long and drawn out. I think that it's definitely a worthwhile experience, but it almost begs to be talked about in how it was released, even if I do still view these as the same game.

I do love the way this game feels so fresh and new. It's so well designed and it's insanely polished. I love the fact that the game manages to tell a story that makes no much sense and works so well - despite having no dialogue.

Overall, if it was a bit shorter and trimmed some of the stages I hate - this is easily the best 2D Sonic and one of the best Sonic games. But for now, it's just pretty solid and a really fun game.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is a pretty great sequel to the first game. I will say, I am definitely disappointed. The game is far better than the first game, but I do think it falls short of moments of greatness in Sonic CD. Don't get me wrong, 2 is definitely more iconic. There's Tails, the Death Egg, Chemical Plant - a ton of amazing moments.

I just feel like a lot of the other stages aren't as great. Emerald Hill Zone is pretty great, and I like Chemical Plant a decent bit. And Hill Top Zone is my favorite of the game, but the rest of them? They're fine. Sure, they're all better than any Sonic level after Green Hill - but I feel like a good bit of CD stages are better. I'd play Wacky Workbench or Quartz Quadrant over pretty much all of these.

The game also goes off the rails after Hill Top Zone. Mystic Ruins, Oil Ocean, and Metropolis Zone are not very fun at all. While I didn't have as many issues with Metropolis Zone as other people, the level is way too long and I have no idea why there's a third act there.

And I HATE Wing Fortress Zone. I feel like it was my purgatory for getting through Metropolis Zone so easily. I was stuck here for 30 minutes. I played the same segment 35 times. I counted.

And then we get the final boss. I got really lucky here, but why are there no rings? It makes absolutely no sense that you can't have rings here. It's just baffling and it means you have to get lucky hits over and over for both the bosses back to back.

Anyway, how are the other bosses? They're a bit better than Sonic 1 in that they're not all a joke, but some of them are a bit too annoying. I really hate the one in Oil Ocean, too. Chemical Plant's boss is also pretty bad. I will say, if you use Tails you can really cheese a good bit of bosses, so he's useful for that.

At the end of the day, I definitely do like Sonic 2. It's a far better run through than Sonic 1, but there are a few things that hold it back from being as good as something like CD for me.

I think it's finally time I tackle this absolute behemoth of a video game. If you've read my past few reviews, I'm nothing short of a massive Sonic fan. One of my earliest gaming memories is playing Sonic Adventure 2. I played Sonic Colors all through the night on Christmas of 2010 more than anything else I got that year. I currently have Sonic the Hedgehog 2 ranked over Everything Everywhere All At Once when it comes to my favorite movie this year. I love this cocky blue fuck.

But Sonic games have a stigma and with that stigma comes uncertainty. Sonic Forces was a real low point for Sonic. While not as broken and bad to play as games like 06 or Heroes, Forces is absolute creative bankruptcy. Lacking in anything close to substance or originality that I genuinely believe it's an insult to anyone who has played it or any other game in the franchise.

In that regard, it was really scary going into a new mainline 3D Sonic game. The blue blur hadn't had a new game in almost 5 years and the first showings of Frontiers had me...confused. An open world Sonic game? When Adventure and 06 both falter in major ways with their open world areas? Was that a good idea? And then the first trailer just copied Breath of the Wild's first look with sweeping wide shots and massive views of a grassy environment. Let's just say, I felt like unoriginality was back on the table.

And then - we got gameplay.

The initial gameplay reveal of this game is not something anybody will defend. The game looks like a mess. Sonic was running around an empty open field with random springs, rails, and platforms just floating. He looked like he controlled the worst he ever has in 3D and the game had serious visual issues from missing textures and animations to some of the worst pop-in I've ever seen. I was horrified.

Then, something changed. We got a glimpse of the title's more linear action stages, dubbed "Cyberspace". These looked cool but felt a tad bit underwhelming due to the reuse of old assets and aesthetics. Luckily, in the game themselves, they ALSO reuse old level layouts. That should sound like an issue, but I often times found myself excited to recognize a level from Sonic Adventure 2 or Unleashed.

Come November 8th, I booted the game up right at Midnight and was launched into Green Hill Zone, which is always a welcome sight. That being said - I was enamored. I couldn't put the game down. I played until 5AM and beat the first island and was absolutely in love.

There was just something so addictive and wonderful about running around the vast, empty, and lonely Kronos Island. Open worlds can often be one of two things. Full of life and NPCs to interact with, or cold, empty and let you roam around to be the main character. Breath of the Wild arguably pioneered the latter kind, and Elden Ring this year has perfected it. Sonic Frontiers fits in that second category quite nicely.

The core gameplay loop of finding memory tokens by completing these open ended platforming sections, fighting bosses for portal keys and completing cyberspace levels for vault keys to get Chaos Emeralds is so satisfying that the game repeats it three more times after the first island!

I think another thing that makes the gameplay on these islands, and the gameplay loop, so fun - is the combat. Defeating overworld minibosses for portal keys is never an issue because it's so fun to tear into enemies with DMC type combos. Sonic is basically an Anime god in this game and I couldn't love it more. Sonic has always struggled with combat. It's either boost into the enemy, homing attack or...spin-dash? I guess. But here? Bro can create after images and send shooting balls of lightning at enemies. TELL me he isn't epic.

And I haven't even talked about the best part of the gameplay loop - the world bosses. The Super Sonic fights in this game are terrific. The first one had me gagged. They brought in Metalcore. The vocalist of Sleeping With Sirens just completely rips his vocal cords over Sonic destroying a being known as a Titan named GIGANTO.

I've talked a lot about the gameplay loop, so now I'll talk about the open zones and how they works. Personally, I really like them. They're basically a natural evolution of the ones from 06 and Adventure, but they finally iron out a lot of the kinks that held those back. Sure, the environments can be generic. It's grass, desert, volcano, and grass again - but I've really grown to enjoy all of them. Kronos and Ouranos feel different enough, surprisingly, despite JUST being big open fields. Ares Island, while a pain to traverse, is less your typical desert and feels a lot more like the American West with canyons and mountains with flat tops.

And then Chaos Island is just a desolate wasteland of ash and fire. It's SO cool. I had the insane idea of trying to collect every memory token in this game. I got through Kronos and half of Ares and then my save file got corrupted and I lost the six hour of progress. That being said, exploring the islands for the memory tokens genuinely made me appreciate this game so much more.

The Cyberspace levels definitely have good and bad parts. On the whole, I like them. Especially the 3D levels. I even S Ranked 1-2 if I do say so myself! The 2D levels play like shit, though. Having played through Sonic 1 and CD recently, I'm astonished that I actually liked playing as Sonic in those. Because most of the 2D levels in Frontiers are HOT ass.

The story of this game is a real nice change of pace. Gone is the lack of continuity and pointless nostalgia baiting of Sonic Forces and we have an actual narrative. Sonic has actual dialogue beyond bad MCU imitation jokes. And Sage is a very good character. Just overall such a strong narrative. It's nothing amazing, but it's honestly the most involved story since 06. And that's a compliment, btw, 06 story slaps and I won't hear any argument against it.

And the music is genuinely fantastic. Cyberspace is great, but man the music in the Islands is terrific. Specifically Chaos Island. The 4th movement is absolutely BONKERS and the drums go so raw.

At the end of the day, I love Sonic Frontiers. The gameplay is super fun, I love running around open zones and exploring for collectibles. And fishing. I LOVE fishing. The cyberspace levels are fun enough to unlock chaos emeralds and the bosses are all great.

Anyway, this game also kind of SUCKS. So many of the animations are absolutely unfinished and broken. The 2D, like I said, is not fun to play at all and S Ranking several stages is a pain in the ass. The pop-in is quite terrible, especially on Ares Island. There's just so many flaws with the game. It really could've used an extra year.

Anyway, this game slaps.

Aww yeah, gamers - this is happening!

Sonic CD is a wonderful title. Coming off of Sonic the Hedgehog, I was pretty upset. That game blows. Full review here:https://www.backloggd.com/u/JayTheZoomster/review/565460/

Fun fact, though, I've actually beaten Sonic CD before! It was a long time ago, though, roughly 8 years or so - so a lot of the game was still sort of new to me, especially at my current age where I'm definitely better at video games.

Sonic CD's one major improvement over the first game is that you actually go fast and the game is actually fun. The levels still have some issues that plagued the first game, but most of them flow really nicely and you can just blaze through them. The game also has the past and future mechanic which will add a ton of replay value for me in the future.

This game places a lot of emphasis on spectacle and vibes. So many of the stages just feel so massive and fun to explore while never feeling cumbersome. I can take my time or blaze through it and it's still an extremely satisfying experience. So many stages in this game are just amazing.

Palmtree Panic is a classic, Tidal Tempest is fun, Quartz Quadrant and Wacky Workbench are the BEST 2D stages I've played so far. Absolutely adore them.

And that's not even talking about the race with Metal Sonic which was dope as HELL.

The game does hit a little snag when it comes to Zones 2, 6, and 7. Collision Chaos is just kind of annoying at times, including a really annoying pinball section, and Stardust Speedway and Metallic Madness just don't feel as spunky and fun as the rest of the game.

The final boss, while not hard at all, also has the issue of having the most annoying platforming leading up to it. Not to mention the horrible yellow balls that shoot lazers. I still have no idea exactly how to kill those - I just kind of did it. They killed me more often than the final Eggman boss ever did.

I also think that Sonic's controls are a bit wonky. I don't mind the running mechanic, but too often I'd simply hold the control stick wrong and Sonic would start running in place, leading me to die to something that should have been easily avoidable.

Still, a banging improvement over the first game and easily one of my favorite Sonic games. The heights of this game are terrific and had me just in awe at how much fun I was having.

This game, I'm not gonna lie - it's uh. Not good.

EXPLOSION

Sonic the Hedgehog is a series near and dear to my heart. I absolutely adore so many titles and the characters are some of my favorite fictional and video game characters. I really only have history with the 3D titles, but I always remember playing the Sonic collection on my DS and getting to the second zone of this game and then giving up - but hey Green Hill Zone is fun!

So today I finally bought Sonic Origins and decided to give this game a spin and it's uh... it sucks. Deadass. Green Hill Zone is great and a wonderful opening to the game and series and then it's quite literally all downhill from there until Starlight Zone.

Marble Zone isn't as terrible as I heard it was. In fact, Acts 1 and 3 are pretty fun and the music is BUMPING. It's Act 2 that makes me want to commit lose all rings. Unfortunately, Spring Yard Zone is rarely talked about, but it is QUITE terrible. The pinball sections suck, the enemies are horrid and just the overall flow of the level is not good.

And then. My GOD and then. Labyrinth Zone. Named after the hit track "Labyrinth" off of Taylor Swift's most recent album "Midnights", it, unfortunately, does not even play an 8bit version of the track. Why is that? It also doesn't do it justice. Imagine thinking you wanna go fast in Sonic and then the game putting you underwater where Sonic is literally slower than ice cream melting in 40 degree weather. And Act 3? My GOD. The ending of that almost made me quit the game.

Starlight Zone is pretty good, though! The levels are fun and speedy again and the enemy placement isn't as abhorrent. Unfortunately, like Green Hill Zone, it's not THAT amazing and there's not much to talk about because I need to get back to bitching.

Scrap Brain Zone is so bad. Act 3 has horse shit water sections again. Hate it.

I do like the final boss. Unfortunately, if you die leading up to it you get no rings so it took me like 20 tries, but once you get the hang of it - it becomes a pretty fun.

Anyway, when I beat the game I wasn't content or happy. I was relieved. Relieved that I was finally done. Finally sighing and letting the light pour in after the darkness I just endured.

Whelp, onto Sonic CD!

Initially, I used to believe that this game was "overhated" and that if you just sat down and played it, it was more of a 6/10 utterly "decent" experience. After my most recent playthrough, I don't believe that to be the case anymore. I'm pretty confident in the opinion that this game is bad.

I think the reason that I, and others, might consider Forces to be "mediocre" instead of just plain bad is that, well, "bad" when it comes to a Sonic game means a lot. It means Sonic the Hedgehog 2006. It means Sonic and the Secret Rings. It means Shadow the Hedgehog or Sonic Boom. Games that are broken, controlled like garbage, and are unfinished products rushed out far before they were even playtested.

But a bad game doesn't have to be broken or unplayable. By all accounts, Forces is a better game than most of the other bad Sonic games. But on its own merits, this game is a pretty poor experience from start to finish. The opening of the game already showcases the fact that this is a completely confused and soulless product. We open in a Green Hill Zone clone called "Lost Valley". This is the start of a giant problem with this game. The recycling of Sonic the Hedgehog ideas.

This is no Generations. There is no celebration here. Any attempt to replicate and bring back prior pieces of Sonic history is a soulless attempt to remain relevant in a landscape that needs SEGA and the blue blur to put up or shut the fuck up once and for all.

It's not just Green Hill Zone. It's Chemical Plant. It's the Death Egg. It's the Egg Dragoon. It's the Nega Wisp armor as the final boss. It's Chaos and Metal Sonic being back as soulless clones. It's the useless inclusion of Classic Sonic who plays like a bastardization of the already rough version in Generations. All he does is clunkily spin through the most passionless and generic 2D levels you've probably seen in a platformer in the past 10 years.

The 3D gameplay doesn't fare any better, either. This is the boost formula melted down to its utter bare concepts. Gone are the days of Unleashed and Generations where you had to react in real time to obstacles, making you learn the stages to be able to fly through them at high speeds. Gone are the days of Colors where the high intensity, yet barebones and straight 3D sections are balanced out by great 2D sidescrolling level designs. In Sonic Forces you can jump off a ledge, hold the boost button and skip to the end of the stage. In fact, I'd recommend doing that because the actual terrain you run through often feels like a tech demo.

There are levels every once in a while that begin to feel like there's a bit more underneath the surface, and yet the second you start getting into it, you've reached the goal ring. I can't tell you how many times I thought to myself "wow, this level's pretty fun" only for me to run right into the goal ring.

I think if any playstyle had the best level design, it's the Avatar stages. These struggle by making the avatar a clunky character to play as, though. Too often I feel like the avatar's "homing attack" (an attack they use by grappling into enemies) is simply too heavy and slow. It grinds the gameplay to a halt, forcing you to use your wispon to take care of enemies instead. That wouldn't be an issue itself, but half the time the wispons didn't even work for me.

Still, these stages feel like they have the most going for them. I feel like the average out to being longer and if the game had decided to go more in this direction - they'd definitely have made a better game. Too bad it's 1/3 and instead ends up being another half-baked idea in a game full of them.

Speaking of - probably time to tackle the story. What a terrible narrative. First off, the entire narrative is just so clunky and incomprehensibly paced. Things happen that immediately unhappen, leading to a jarring sense of progression. For instance, at the start of the game, Sonic is "defeated". We then learn that Tails has "lost it" since Sonic died. Only to find out Tails is utterly okay and acting normal.

Next, we learn that Sonic was being TORTURED. FOR MONTHS. By Eggman. Except, he wasn't. He's laughing, quipping, and taking down the Death Egg as if nothing happened. I don't mind that Tails didn't go mad with grief and I don't mind that Sonic wasn't brutally tortured, by the hell is that dialogue in this game? The game tries to be a serious story about loss and war but ends up being weightless and completely pointless in its muddled, terrible execution.

Then there's the phantom ruby. The god damn stupid ass phantom fucking ruby. I never want to hear about the phantom ruby again. What an absolutely dreadful macguffin. There's a point where Sonic and his friends say that they figured out how to drain the phantom ruby of its attributes. And then later Infinite is like "guys my phantom ruby is recharged". I can't count how many times Sonic and his friends "win" and then have some other crazy things happen. Sonic literally says this in the game with the line "Can't we ever just win and that be it?". But Sonic, being self-aware doesn't undo the poor writing.

As a Sonic fan, this game talked down to me. It handed me a product that was so lifeless, devoid of content worth a damn and an insulting experience all together.