Macklemore
2024
It was a bold choice for Nintendo to market their E-for-Everyone franchises to the 18+ audience. The game was criticized for its heavy handed, almost comical tone. Although the voice acting and art direction were lauded the game was largely forgettable despite its unique premise. Nintendo fans should be happy to know a sequel will never see the light of day.
It's nice to know that Satan nor Death couldn't kill me, but I got 3 shot by a Golgoth Guard.
arr me boi we be sailing da seven seas where we get to sink ships with a fully customizable ship and we get to be pirates and find buried treasure
"but wait pirates did more than that what about p*ging and rng"
cough
"but wait pirates did more than that what about p*ging and rng"
cough
This game has the most realistic boxing game mechanics as it involves getting punched in the face repeatedly, but you do get to dodge the punches to be able to punch the other guy in the face repeatedly till he gets punched in the face. Sometimes there is even a punching animation for one of the opponents. It's crazy. I think I am going to punch the screen now.
(Game is good up until you get to Super Macho Man and then it becomes bullshit. I guess it was the only way for you to beat up so many ethnicities back in the day, so people found charm in it or something.)
(Game is good up until you get to Super Macho Man and then it becomes bullshit. I guess it was the only way for you to beat up so many ethnicities back in the day, so people found charm in it or something.)
1986
I can feel the music, I can taste the 80s in the air, I am transported to the golden era of arcade games. There is a sense of mystery, darkness and danger, while also enjoying the nostalgia of 8 bit graphics, an epic score and the simple yet fun gameplay. I truly feel like I am in the world of Castlevania with this experience.
Imagine playing a game called Buzz: Brain of Oz and being surprised when it sucks ass, you played yourself dawg
1999
There are too many characters and items. Too many items!!!! Who are some of these characters??? Why is there a floating star in the game? Do they not know that Mario is a game about jumping on bricks? Who the hell is this purple man??? Too many characters on some of these levels...
I do love the fighting. But damn too many items!!!!
I do love the fighting. But damn too many items!!!!
Detroit: Become Human is a game that attempts to show the humanity of robots.
More like Detroit: Become Boring When Not Play as Connor, am I right?
More like Detroit: Become Boring When Not Play as Connor, am I right?
1999
This game may have the worst soundtrack I've ever heard. The players seem to walk like their entire body is asleep. Why does a soccer game made in 1999 need to look like someone smeared vaseline over the lens? Why is this game so boring? I've tried multiple modes in the game and everything feels like a slog. I wouldn't suggest this game to anyone except extreme masochists.
1991
I am so glad this game allowed me to keep my weapons after dying. Best quality of life decision ever made perhaps.
2017
Mario is a little overweight, and his princess obsession is getting old. Bowser is a rapist icon. This game was pretty good but so much of it was insanely easy to the point where I don't know when I was playing the game and when the game was playing itself. Should it feel like that? Is that what fun is? Getting to the goal without actually exerting yourself?
Did I smile? Multiple times. I would even LOL if Mario's nipples could break diamonds in the ice level. But I don't know if the win was earned. Where were the hard bosses?
Can't believe Nintendo finally hired the man to make the dinosaur and the dragon. Were these choices made by the man or did Nintendo tell the man to make lizards. Why is he so good at lizards specifically? Must investigate further.
Did I smile? Multiple times. I would even LOL if Mario's nipples could break diamonds in the ice level. But I don't know if the win was earned. Where were the hard bosses?
Can't believe Nintendo finally hired the man to make the dinosaur and the dragon. Were these choices made by the man or did Nintendo tell the man to make lizards. Why is he so good at lizards specifically? Must investigate further.
1988
Despite my constant yelps that this game was unbeatable, I constantly found myself ChudBewildered at the fact that the area was at, was in fact, beatable. Last checkpoint of the game by the way? Actually unbeatable, for anyone but me that is. I somehow managed to do it.
2019
I liked pressing a button and having my samurai deflect bullets.
2017
I'm sure that if this game was in the hands of more competent videogame developers, it would actively get me interested in the story more and I would probably take my sweet ass time reading the logs and all that. It wouldn't be hard to make me interested in logs, Resident Evil 5 managed to do it. Half of the interest comes from the logs being from a franchise I hold near and dear to my heart but the other half is due to game being interesting and enjoyable enough to the point where I felt the need to know more about the story. And the other 33% is Albert Wesker being fuh-knee. (Dees Dude went from talking about halves to thirds, what a JERK!)
Did this game even have sound design? Lance Reddick was in it. RIP, he was my favourite Reddit. I wish this game wasn't just a simulator to walk across the planet. Guys that I talked to two seconds ago that I had to run 3000 ingame steps toward tell me "I'm glad you came here. Let's continue this conversation over there" as he points behind me. I turn to see where he was pointing. By the time I turn my head back to him, he's gone. My quest marker says I need to move 3000 ingame steps back where I came from. I laugh, but the joke wasn't funny.
I love fighting sponges with no AI, cause there's something really cool in a videogame where you arbitrarily take the right amount of steps backward that bugs the thing you're fighting from moving as it just stares at you while you pelt it with arrows for sixteen years.
I can't wait to play the next videogame in this series where Aloy grows hair on her cheeks and has a red stain on her underwear, and she has IBS and
Did this game even have sound design? Lance Reddick was in it. RIP, he was my favourite Reddit. I wish this game wasn't just a simulator to walk across the planet. Guys that I talked to two seconds ago that I had to run 3000 ingame steps toward tell me "I'm glad you came here. Let's continue this conversation over there" as he points behind me. I turn to see where he was pointing. By the time I turn my head back to him, he's gone. My quest marker says I need to move 3000 ingame steps back where I came from. I laugh, but the joke wasn't funny.
I love fighting sponges with no AI, cause there's something really cool in a videogame where you arbitrarily take the right amount of steps backward that bugs the thing you're fighting from moving as it just stares at you while you pelt it with arrows for sixteen years.
I can't wait to play the next videogame in this series where Aloy grows hair on her cheeks and has a red stain on her underwear, and she has IBS and
2012
A touching and sometimes frightening tale of human emotion and our fight against our own darkest desires