(Part 3 of 4)

It’s no secret to anyone at this point that, in terms of Mega Man games, not only was Mega Man 2 a massive improvement over the original game in just about every way, but it also managed to do gangbusters for the series, which definitely caught Capcom’s attention after the original game didn’t sell well at all. Since this game managed to become such a massive success, they decided that they needed to go all in on this franchise now, not only creating many more games for the future to be released every year, but also to make Mega Man Capcom’s own primary mascot for the foreseeable future. This was great news and all, but this eventually lead to a pretty stressful development cycle when it came to the next game in the series, apparently due to not only having a director that “didn’t understand Mega Man” quite like the last one, but also due to deadlines not being met often, essentially making the final product an incomplete game. Nevertheless, the show had to go on, and thus, one year after the previous game, the world was then given Mega Man 3.

Much like the second game, this game also managed to be a pretty big hit, selling over a million copies, and it has garnered a pretty positive reception over time, but for me, from what I have seen, there have been plenty of people who have the exact opposite opinion. I have heard plenty people sing this game’s praises right alongside Mega Man 2 as being one of the best games in the entire series, and on the completely opposite side of the coin, I’ve heard people say it is a complete misfire, being one of the worst games in the series, and just not that fun to play at all. I can definitely see why some people would have that opinion about this game, but for me, while I don’t think it is as good as Mega Man 2, I would say it is still a wonderful entry in the series, bringing plenty of new elements that would become a staple for the series, and still providing plenty of fun challenges to take on and conquer at the same time.

The story is a bit different from the previous game while remaining mostly the same, where one day, Dr. Wily appears to Dr. Light to say that he is now reformed, wanting to now help make the world a more peaceful place rather than trying to take it over, and as if the last two games never happened, Dr. Light accepts his request, and thus, the two of them start working on a new peacekeeping robot known as Gamma. During the development of this new robot, eight new Robot Masters were developed to help mine the materials needed to create this robot, but all of a sudden, they start to go haywire and start to spread chaos wherever they go, so once again, Mega Man needs to set out to take them down and see who is behind all of this (as if it isn’t obvious enough). It is definitely a step-up from the last game’s story, even if it isn’t anything much more complex then “hey, go kill these robot assholes” again, which I am fine with, but it is just worth pointing out.

The graphics, once again, aren’t too different from the previous game, but they still manage to hold up extremely well after over 30 years, and all of the sprites for the enemies, characters, and bosses still look wonderful, the music is fantastic once again, having plenty of rocking tunes for you to bob your head to as you are going through plenty of these stages, with this being just one of the many great songs that you will hear throughout this game, and the control/gameplay is also very similar to the previous two games, but not only does it manage to still feel pretty great to play and conquer, but there are several new additions that do expand Mega Man’s capabilities, and they are pretty fun to use.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of Mega Man yet again, go through plenty of different levels that all culminate with one final trek through Dr. Wily’s fortress, run, jump, and shoot your way through many different enemies, obstacles, and platforming challenges that will test you in plenty of ways, gather plenty of health items, weapon ammunition, E-Tanks (which I totally didn’t forget to mention in the last review), and additional upgrades to help you out along your journey, and take on plenty of fun and somewhat challenging bosses, including the eight Robot Masters who, upon defeat, each give you a brand new weapon to use against many other foes you will encounter later down the road. It is your standard Mega Man experience through and through, but thankfully, there are some new changes to see this time around, both in terms of new upgrades for Mega Man, and new characters that would become regulars in the series, which does make the game as a whole very fun to go through when paired with everything else.

As if he was a real big fan of Strider, Mega Man now has the ability to slide in this game, not only being able to not get through narrow gaps to reach hidden goodies and other parts of a stage, but it can also be used a way to dodge attacks from certain foes, making some enemy encounters and boss fights a hell of a lot easier. I’m sure anyone who has ever played the classic Mega Man games to the point of becoming an expert at them pretty much uses this move non-stop whenever playing these games, because it real is a wonderful new technique, as it not only is extremely helpful in all of those circumstances I just mentioned earlier, but you can also use it to get through stages a hell of a lot faster, as it is quicker then just simply walking to the right.

In addition to this, you also have a new pal that joins you throughout this whole game, Rush the dog, who is the best good boy in the history of good boys, and I will fight you on the streets if you say otherwise. Not only is he adorable, but he can also assist you through many parts of the stages, whether it be by helping you reach higher places, flying across bottomless pits to reach your destination, or even by turning into a fucking submarine and traverse you through water easier. While some of these tools aren’t as useful as others, as a whole, Rush is a wonderful addition to not just this game, but the series as a whole, and he is always fun to use whenever he shows up in one of these games… despite how they nerf some of his moves in later games (why did they have to ruin the Rush Jet like that).

And finally, we have yet another new character that plays a big role in this game, Break Man, AKA Blues, AKA Proto Man, Mega Man’s brother who you will often encounter in this game while going through several of the stages, often accompanied by his classic whistle tune. Whenever you hear this, you will then be subjected to facing off against him in what should be a fearsome battle… if it wasn’t piss easy. Seriously, all he does for every single fight is walk from left to right, jump up slightly and shoot at you, which not only makes him pathetic, but it also makes these encounters boring. That’s really the only purpose he serves in this game, other than helping you out at the end of the game, but much like with Rush, Proto Man is a great addition to not just this game, but this series as a whole, and while he doesn’t do much in several titles later down the road, I wouldn’t be able to imagine the series without him.

Now, despite all of the good changes that were brought into this game, there are also several problems that this game has that does drag it down, and that can all be seen in the second half of the game. After defeating the eight Robot Masters for the first time, you are then forced to go through four of the stages you just completed again, only this time they are now harder than before, and in these stages, you will encounter Doc Robot, a recurring boss that will fight you using all of the weapons from the Robot Masters in Mega Man 2. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the first of plenty of instances where these games will pad themselves out, trying to extend game time when they really don’t need to, and I have never been a fan of these segments whatsoever. Yeah, they are still fun and challenging enough to go through, but you can’t help but feel like it is all a waste of time, and I never look forward to these stages whenever I do go back to play this game.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t get much better from there, as the Wily Fortress that follows up these stages is, without a doubt, the easiest final set of levels that I have ever seen in any Mega Man game. Sure, they do have their fair share of challenges that newcomers would probably struggle with, but not only do they give you plenty of health items and E-Tanks like they are candy, but the bosses that you encounter, for the most part, are piss easy, requiring the most basic of strategies to beat, and this even applies to the final boss of the game as well. The only real challenging part of this part of the game would be the fight against the Yellow Devil, returning from the original game, but even then, he is nowhere near as hard as he was in the original game, and since you now have plenty of ways to avoid his attacks and to take him down, he shouldn’t be that much of a problem whatsoever.

Overall, despite how the game pads itself out for the sake of it and the ridiculously easy final set of levels, Mega Man 3 still manages to be a pretty solid game all around, giving plenty of more options for you to traverse through levels that are fun to experiment with, while also continuing to expand the universe and gameplay to where it is still fun to blast through and learn about, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would definitely recommend it for those who are fans of the previous two games, or for those who are just fans of Mega Man in general, because while it does certainly have its problems, this is still one of the best games in the series that you can get from the 8-bit era. Also, I got some good news: they fixed the cover art!...... sort of. Most of it is good, but then we have Mega Man's face, which looks like he is thinking about doing some of the most devious shit. Not to mention, he's shooting Spark Man right in his Spark Balls, so now he will never be able to have kids.

Remake #10

(Part 2 of 4)

It may be pretty outdated compared to future titles in the series, and it does have a lot of problems weighing down, but for how fun it was and from my own personal experiences with it, I still consider the original Mega Man to be a really fun game that I can return to at any time, and I would still have a pretty good time with it. And hey, I’m not alone in thinking that, as many critics at the time the game was released agreed with that sentiment, but despite how critically successful the game was, it didn’t help out in its sales, to where after not making the numbers that they had wanted, Capcom was ready to move on from Mega Man and focus on other titles instead(sounds familiar, doesn’t it?). However, Akira Kitamura, the original director and creator of the series, had wanted to make a sequel either way, and after requesting permission to create a sequel several times, Capcom would finally allow him and his team to do so, on one condition: they had to develop it simultaneously with all of the other titles they wanted them to work on, meaning that the game essentially needed to be made on their free time. They accepted these terms, and thus, just one and a half years later, we would then get this sequel in the form of Mega Man 2.

If you have heard anything about Mega Man at any point in your life, chances are it has something to do with this game, as out of all of the titles in the entire series, this is one many hold in the highest regards. It is considered to be one of, if not THE best game in the entire series, not only because it perfected the original formula to become much more fun, addicting, and approachable than before, but also, until Mega Man 11 came out, it was the best selling game in the entire series, selling over 1.5 million copies, which, for an NES game, is pretty damn impressive. While I wouldn’t consider it to be the best game of the classic series, and while I think the hype it gets maybe a liiiiiiiiiiitle too overblown, I can safely say that the game definitely deserves the reputation it got, as it is absolutely fantastic. It may not have some of the additions that later games would bring to the series, and it may not change much from the original, but it still manages to be incredibly fun all the same, and it stands as the best entry the series has ever had on the NES.

The story is fairly basic compared to what the original game had set up, where Dr. Wily is back at it yet again, this time with his own set of eight Robot Masters specifically programmed to cause chaos and destruction across the world, so it is up to Mega Man to set out once again to take him down, which is a pretty basic plot for a sequel, but hey, it’s a good enough story that you can easily get behind, and that’s all you really need. The graphics are almost identical to that of the original game, except it is not a lot more colorful, varied, and visually pleasing with the designs of the characters, enemies, and bosses, so that’s good, the music is incredible, having some of the best music that any NES game has to offer, and I only need to show you one song in particular to prove my point (even if it is an obvious choice), and the control/gameplay is almost identical to that or the original game as well, except not only is that traction situation from the original taken care of here, but the gameplay is also much more fun as well, even if not much has changed.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of Mega Man once again, go through a set of eight main levels before taking on a final Dr. Wily castle full of its own set of levels, run, jump, and shoot your way through many more obstacles, enemies, and platforming challenges using whatever best applies to the situation, get plenty of health items, weapon ammunition, and special upgrades to your aresenal to help you out along the way, and take on plenty of skillful opponents, including the eight Robot Masters, so that you can gain their weapons and use them for your own use for whatever may lie ahead. Most of what you get here is pretty much exactly the same as the original game, so for those of you who liked the original game, you will be able to jump right into this one and love it, because not only is it much better designed and more fun than the original, but the small changes that were made do add a lot to the overall experience.

Like I mentioned before, the game feel a lot better to control, with your movement, jumping, and shooting feeling just right as you go through all of these levels, and many of the challenges that you will face are simple enough to approach, while not feeling like a pain in the ass to get through (with one or two exceptions here or there). In addition to this, the game manages to be more approachable as well, not only with the inclusion of a brand new password system, but also with the option to choose your own difficulty for the game… at least, in the western version of the game, that is. For Japan, they only got one standard difficulty, but for us over here, the normal difficulty was marked as Difficult Mode, and right alongside that is an easy mode that is labeled as Normal Mode. Personally, I don’t think the Difficult Mode is that much harder than the Normal Mode, but I do like the fact that the option is there at all, making this one of the best games to start with in the franchise, as well as one that is great for replayability. There’s not really much more I can say that has changed from the original, but despite the lack of major change, the game still has plenty of fun challenges, exciting boss fights, and plenty of challenges to get through that feel satisfying to conquer.

Despite how heavily praised this game is as a whole, I wouldn’t say it is perfect by any means. First of all, like the original game, the special weapons, for me anyway, aren’t too useful outside of boss fights, with the only real exception being the Metal Blade, a weapon that is extremely overpowered and can easily be used to take care of practically any situation. As for all of the other weapons though, they are either completely situational, or just not that handy to use. Aside from that though, there is one other part of the game that I have never liked that much, and that would be Wily Stage 3. The stage itself isn’t too bad, but it does feature some annoying elements, such as these invisible gaps in the floor in the beginning of the stage, these long conveyor belts that you have to ride on in order to make it down to the end, and to top it all off, it also has the worst boss in the entire game, the Boobeam Trap. The boss itself isn’t too deadly, with it just being a bunch of orbs on the walls that sometimes shoot at you, but the problem is that in order to defeat it, you need to use the Crash Bomber, a weapon with very little ammunition, meaning you have to navigate around this room and use it only when absolutely necessary, which means that if you end up using it too many times, you are FUCKED, and you have to get a game over just so that you can get your ammo back. Yeah, the rest of the game is aces, but I don’t see how anyone can defend a boss like that.

Overall, despite a lack of major changes and Wily Stage 3 being a giant stain on this otherwise perfect game, Mega Man 2 is still a fantastic sequel to the original game, and a wonderful game all on its own, bringing plenty of much needed fixes and touches to what the original game had introduced, while also still being very fun and satisfying to blast through. I would absolutely recommend it for those who are fans of the Mega Man series, as well as those who are looking for a place to start, because aside from other entries like Mega Man 11, this is one of the best places that you could start and get accustomed to what this series has to offer. Although, before we end this off, I have to bring up the cover art that the game originally had, which isn’t as bad as the original, but… jesus christ, why did it take so long for these to get good? My man looks like he is a cosplayer rather than a super fighting robot, and Dr. Light is fondling Crash Man’s ass, which nobody needs to see!

Remake #9

(Part 1 of 4)

For a good while in my life as a player of video games, I was very close-minded when it came to what I did play. Most of the time, I wanna say between ages 7-13 or 14, I was primarily interested in a few franchises, those being Mario, Kirby, Sonic, Pokemon, and Halo, with a few others sprinkled in here or there, but when it came to everything else out there, I wanted nothing to do with any of them. That is, until I got my hands on The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, a game that I would end up growing to love, and as such, gave me the mindset of checking out what other great series of games I had been missing out on up to that point. Eventually, I stumbled onto a certain game series that I had no clue about before, and I just decided to download the first game in the series on my Wii U to try it out.

I booted up, got into the first stage, and I got absolutely DESTROYED as a result. I was getting killed by the first enemies I saw, with no proper way of counteracting them, unable to get away, with seemingly no solution in sight. Usually, at that point, I would probably have just given up and moved onto something else, but at that point, there was… something in me that kept me from giving up, kind of like a spark of determination. I went back to it, figured out what was going on, got past that challenge, and then proceeded to beat the entire stage, which would then lead me to conquering the other challenges in the game, getting rewards, and eventually beating the entire game. It was such an invigorating feeling, one that I hadn’t felt that strongly in such a long time. I had felt like I had truly conquered a harrowing challenge, which then led me to playing many of the other games in the series, and as a result, I would go on to considering this franchise to be my favorite of all time. That game that started all of this was, obviously, the original Mega Man.

Now, ever since that point, I have become an expert of old-school video games, a connoisseur of nostalgia, an addict to 8-bit bullshit, and I have played many other games as well, to the point where I can see that, as a game all on its own… Mega Man 1 isn't really that good. There is plenty wrong with it, not only as a starting point to a big franchise, but also a game in general, and I can definitely see now why most people wouldn’t be able to get into it. However, from my own personal experience, I can’t say I hate this game for even a fraction of a second, as I have so much history with it, and after having played through it over a dozen times, I can say that I still love it now. It definitely doesn’t even come close to the quality of the future titles in the series, but it laid the foundation for what would become the series that I would fawn over for years to come, and even then, I still manage to have a great time with what is given to me here all these years later. But hey, you have probably already heard me say plenty about that in my original review of the game I made a year ago, but that review also kinda fucking sucks, so we are gonna pull a Mario All-Stars and re-review the original trilogy, because I just can’t live with my own shame.

The story is simple on the surface, yet somewhat complex for a video game at the time, where a brilliant scientist by the name of Dr. Light helps usher a new age of robots that help to assist mankind in many endeavors, all thanks to his line of Robot Masters, as well as his own two helpers known as Rock and Roll (........ oh, I get it!). However, one day, all of them start to go haywire and cause destruction all over the world, due to the villainous acts of Dr. Wily, Dr. Light’s old partner, now-turned rival who reprogrammed them to do his bidding. Seeing all of the destruction take place, Rock requests for Dr. Light to convert him into a fighting robot, one that would be able to stop the senseless destruction and to end the villainous reign of Dr. Wily once and for all, and after initially hesitating on the idea, Dr. Light agrees to this, turning Rock into the super fighting robot known as Mega Man, and sending him out to do just that. It isn’t too complicated of a story, but for a game that was released in an era of games where most of their storylines were just “go save this girl” or “go kill this big scary monster”, it is nice seeing something a little bit different and way more interesting, despite how the story itself isn’t told to us in the game.

The graphics are pretty great, having a distinct style that makes it stand out from many other games released on the NES beforehand and since, even if the future games would go onto refining this art style to make it look better, the music is also pretty great, not being as rocking or iconic as later OSTs in the series, but there are still plenty of tunes that does get me nodding along to them and smiling whenever I hear them, even if there are some admittedly basic and boring tracks, the control is pretty good, with the jumping, shooting, and running all feeling great to handle throughout the whole thing, although Mega Man’s traction could’ve definitely been worked on, seeing as he is pretty slippery in this game, and the gameplay is very basic, being your typical jump ‘n shoot platformer of the late 80’s, but, if you ask me, this series manages to take this type of gameplay and perfect it to where it becomes incredibly fun and addicting, and that is all one can really ask for.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of Mega Man, go through a set ten different levels, most of which you can do in any order that you want, run, jump, and shoot your way through many different enemies of various shapes and sizes, gather plenty of health items, weapon ammunition, and additional upgrades to help you out along the way against whatever dangers you may encounter, take on plenty of bosses, including the six Robot Masters, who will push your skills to the limit if you aren’t prepared for them, and gain plenty of new weapons to use to fight against new foes with, including a fire blast, a bomb you can throw, and an electric shot that is better than any of the other weapons, so you should go stick with that. Most of it is pretty typical for an NES game of that era, but not only does it introduce new elements that weren’t commonplace at the time, such as gaining new weapons from bosses and the ability to choose whatever stage you want to go through first, but it also manages to be fun and challenging in all the right ways… for me, anyway.

I have mentioned before in my review of Wild Guns that simplicity, in many cases, is one of the best approaches one could take to making a game, especially from this era. All you really need is a clear objective, a simple gameplay scheme to get a grasp of, and some great obstacles to overcome to make you feel like you really accomplished something by the end of your journey. That is exactly what the original Mega Man manages to pull off, as well as most of the other classic games in this series. They aren’t complicated games by any means, nor are they the hardest games out there, but they manage to provide gameplay that is simple, satisfying, and addicting as you keep playing, along with plenty of challenges that, while not being the hardest challenges one can find from an NES game, will definitely give any newcomer a hard time, but when you actually do manage to overcome these obstacles, it feels SO REWARDING.

One such instance that always comes to mind for me would have to be the boss fight against the Yellow Devil. Anyone who has played this game can tell you this is easily the hardest boss in the game, and naturally, it took me plenty of attempts to beat him back in the day, due to how erratic he is with his attacks, and how you only have a few short moments to attack him yourself before he goes back to attacking you. Of course, I could’ve just used the pause exploit in order to beat him immediately, but since I’m not a pussy-ass BITCH, I pressed on without said exploit, and now, I can manage to beat him in one shot without taking a single hit. Again, stuff like this feels immensely satisfying whenever you get it right, and this is just one of the many challenges that you will encounter in this game, which are also really fun to go up against and clear through.

With all of that said though, despite how I will defend this game until the day I die, I can’t act like it is perfect by any means, because GOOD LORD, it has plenty of issues. I won’t go through all of them in too much detail, but I will do a lightning round of all of the issues that do hold this game back: there is a point system that has no meaning whatsoever, there is a mandatory item you need to get that you can completely miss if you don’t know what you are doing, there are obnoxious enemies placed everywhere, especially with those big hopping guys located at the end of nearly every stage, the level design is pretty poor in places, which can lead to a lot of frustrating deaths, most of the special weapons aren’t too useful outside of boss fights, the boss fights can either be a pain in the ass or a complete joke, and to top it all off, the original box art for this game is one of the most beautiful pieces of shit that I have ever seen. Obviously, you wouldn’t be able to tell how wonderfully bad it is from that image up there, but if you just take a look at it here, you can see exactly what I mean. All of this does drag the game down quite a bit, and while I myself am not too bothered by most of these issues, I can definitely see why many others do, and needless to say, if you are looking to get into this series, do NOT play this one first. Play Mega Man 11 first, and then go back to this one to see how far we have come ever since then.

Overall, despite the many, MANY flaws this game has, and how almost every game in the series after this makes it look like garbage, I will still always love the original Mega Man not just because of what it did for me, but just for being a fun time in general, having wonderful platforming, fun challenges to take on, and being immensely satisfying to play through even after all this time. I would recommend it for those of you who are big Mega Man fans, as well as those who love old-school 2D platformers in general, because while this one is far from the best of the bunch, it is one that I will always hold a special place for in my heart, and I’m sure plenty of others could find themselves liking it enough as well. But hey, even if you don’t end up liking it when you go through it, that’s ok, because you could always just play the sequel instead, where shit starts to get REALLY good. Speaking of…

Remake #8

Do you ever think that Kevin Eastman or Peter Laird regret creating the Ninja Turtles? Probably not, because they made a lot of money from it and made a product that is adored by millions to this day, but ignoring all that, do you think they regret creating the series, or even what it eventually became? Do you think that one day, the two of them just look back at shit like the Micheal Bay movies, TMNT III, or that one live-action show that got made, and they just think to themselves “My god… look at how they massacred my boys…”... I would probably feel that way if I was in a similar situation, but then I would look back on all the positive things to come out of the franchise as well, and then I would realize it would’ve all been worthwhile……………. none of that has anything to do with this review, I just needed an intro: it’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project!

After going through the first NES game, the arcade game, and then skipping over to the infinitely superior TMNT IV, we have now finally arrived at the final TMNT game that was released for the NES before jumping straight to the next generation of systems (aside from the port of Tournament Fighters, but… you know…). Much like all of the other TMNT games for the system, I haven’t played this one before now, but I had seen it a little bit before, and it looked about as standard as these games could get: just being another typical beat-’em-up that lets you play as your favorite turtle and kick plenty of ass. So, it was no surprise then that, when I got around to actually playing it, that was pretty much exactly what I got, but that doesn’t make it bad by any means. It is still a pretty good game, definitely the best TMNT NES game and one of the best beat-’em-ups on the system, but it does have one or two things holding it back from me absolutely loving it.

The story is a little more extreme for a TMNT game, where while the turtles are vacationing in Florida (already off to a fantastic start), Shredder takes over Manhattan, raising it up into the sky like it’s Angel Island, and kidnaps April O’Neal in the process, so it is up to the turtles to end their vacation early and go save the day once again, which is pretty crazy for a TMNT plot, but it is still a very basic “Shredder’s a dick, go beat him up” story, so it isn’t that great. The graphics are pretty good, being the best looking TMNT game available on the NES, and there are plenty of varied environments, enemies, and bosses to see, but it is nothing too spectacular, the music is good, giving off the same vibe as plenty of other soundtracks from this series, but nothing really stuck out as too memorable for me, and the control/gameplay is pretty good for what we got here, keeping the gameplay generally similar to what we have seen before, while refining it enough to where it is the best that the series has seen… at least, at this point in time.

The game is an old-school beat-’em-up, where you take control of one of the four Ninja Turtles, or if you are me, you pick Leonardo and nobody else, because you are a basic bitch, go through a set of eight different levels that range from the scummy, insane depths of Florida to the far reaches of space, defeat many different enemies that come your way using whatever moves that you have at your disposal, pick up pizzas to heal yourself whenever you get the chance to do so (which is only like three to four times in the entire game), and take on plenty of familiar faces in boss fights, ranging from regulars you would find from the comics and animated series, to others that come from the TMNT movies. It is your standard TMNT affair in almost every way, but that doesn’t make it bad in any way, as you can still have plenty of fun with it, and if you got a friend who can join you on your journey, that would definitely be the best way to play through it. Just, you know, make sure to turn off friendly fire (seriously, why is that even an option?).

There’s really not much else I can say about this game that I haven’t already talked about in plenty of other TMNT reviews at this point. You walk around, you beat people up, you grab pizza when you can, you fall into a sewer hole like a dumbass and feel bad about yourself, you all know how this goes by now. There is nothing new here to change up the gameplay whatsoever from what we have seen before, because it’s a TMNT game, and they didn’t need to try to do anything new or exciting, because it will sell anyway. But what I will say is that, as a whole, the game still plays pretty well. The moves are still fun enough to pull off, the specials are pretty helpful to use, and while the bosses are pretty tough, it is satisfying to beat them down and take them out. The only real part about the gameplay that I wasn’t a fan of was how slow your movement speed is, which I guess makes sense, seeing as you are playing as a turtle, but he is also a NINJA, and last time I checked, they go so fast that you would be dead before you knew they were there.

If I had to name off any major problems I had with the game, aside from the slow movement and the lack of changes, it would be based on how fucking LONG this game is. The game itself doesn’t have that much content, only having about eight stages, which is pretty standard for an NES game, but I swear, these stages drag on for an eternity, as you are constantly beating up bad guys and taking on minorly challenging platforming. Not to mention, some of the stages have multiple bosses, which only makes them take even longer to get through, and because of all of this, it took me over two hours to beat the game, which isn’t that bad, but for a game like this, you would expect something a lot quicker and snappier to help the pacing. Maybe it would’ve gone faster if I had played with another person, but either way, I still think the stages should’ve been shrunken down a little bit, especially for a game that has no password feature and limited continues.

Overall, despite a lack of change, your slow movement, and how the game drags on at points, this game is still a pretty good beat-’em-up for the NES, being the best of the original TMNT trilogy, and being a pretty good time all on its own, and I am sure big fans of this franchise would be able to properly enjoy themselves with this game all the same. I would recommend it for those who are big TMNT fans, as well as those who are big fans of beat-’em-ups in general, because while there are definitely better options out there now, this still does the job well enough, and you should be able to enjoy it all the same. Now, if you will excuse me, I am gonna go find out how exactly a turtle can live a full life while living on a pizza-only diet. See you all next time!

Game #535

Man, Nintendo was REALLY leaning in hard on these pointless puzzle games for the Mario franchise, weren’t they? They had something going there with Dr. Mario, I’ll give them that, but then they made Yoshi, a fine enough puzzle game, but one that isn’t engaging enough to where I wanna play it for more then five minutes, and Yoshi’s Cookie, the one that will probably give Yoshi diabetes while also STILL not being engaging enough to make me wanna play for even more than five minutes! There comes a time when, after trying time and time again, you gotta take a step back and realize you have already peaked, and you will never be able to reach that success again. But nonetheless, that didn’t stop them from trying, so for their next attempt, they decided to give the green dino a break, and instead use their good ol’ yellow fat man instead for another experiment, and thus, they created Wario’s Woods.

Like with Yoshi and Yoshi’s Cookie, I never had any real interest to give this game a proper shot beforehand, primarily because it was another Mario puzzle game from the NES, and I wasn’t really wanting to try it out for fear that it would just be another mid puzzler with nothing to show for it. I have been curious about it for a while though, not just because it is a Wario puzzle game, but also because it is the last officially licensed NES game ever released for us in the states, so I wondered how exactly were they going to end off the legacy of such an industry-changing console. Well, now that I have played it, let me tell you then that, they ended it off with… another mid puzzler with nothing to show for it. For what we got here, I would say it is a good game, and you could have some fun with it with the right people, but it does fall into a lot of the same problems that both Yoshi and Yoshi’s Cookie had, with not much else to show for it.

The story is appropriately simple, where Wario takes over the all-too-perfect Peaceful Woods and turns all of the creatures that inhabit them into sinister beasts, so it is up to some random Toad from the Mushroom Kingdom to go in and stop anymore destruction from happening, which is an incredibly stupid premise, but I feel it fits right at home with the game as a whole. The graphics are pretty good, having plenty of great sprites and animations for all the characters and enemies, all feeling like a good way to send off the system it was made for, the music is good enough, having cheery and sinister tracks for whatever is going on at the moment, but none of the tracks are all that memorable, the control is a bit different from what you usually expect in a puzzle game, and it does take some getting used to, which I never really did at the end of it all, and the gameplay is simple enough for a puzzler, taking elements from other puzzle games and sprinkling them all together, for a perfectly average experience.

The game is a mostly typical puzzle game, where you take control of that random Toad that I mentioned earlier, go through plenty of different rounds through plenty of different tree trunks, match up plenty of different monsters together while trying to connect them to the falling bombs, gather up plenty of the coins that will fall down when you win so you could feel better about yourself, then turn off the game and go back to playing Tetris, because why would you bother playing this when Tetris is right there. It is a very simple puzzle game with some neat ideas, and its got the visuals and music to back it up for a good while, but like I mentioned before, not only is the game not really exciting or rewarding enough to where you wanna keep going for hours on end, but there are also somethings in general that are just holding it back.

Unlike many other puzzle games, where you take control of either the pieces or some other aspect of the game to get the pieces to match up, you actually take control of Toad himself, running around in these tree trunks and matching up all of the monsters and bombs yourself. This, in all honesty, is actually a pretty neat idea, and it does make you think differently about how to approach this type of game, since before things start falling down on top of you, you can actually move around the monsters that you are trying to clear out so that you can get rid of them pretty quickly, which is very helpful at times. It also helps that you can also do several things with Toad that you wouldn’t be able to do in other puzzle games, like climbing up columns of monsters to get to the other side of them, or kicking certain pieces across the board, which is neat. And of course, like any good puzzle game, there is a two player vs. mode, where you and a friend can battle it out to see which one of you is the best monster exterminator of them all, and while I myself didn’t try out this mode, I imagine it is the best way to experience a game like this.

Unfortunately, just like with some of the other Mario spin-off puzzle games I have covered on this website, there just isn’t that much here for me to really call this a bonafide classic puzzle game for the NES. It just doesn’t have that same kind of addicting and engaging feel that other puzzle games like Tetris or Dr. Mario has, and as such, it once again can’t keep me really all that interested or excited to play it for more than five minutes. Not to mention, while the idea of controlling an actual character in a puzzle game like this is neat in theory, but in practice, it is kinda sloppy. Sure, you can pull off a lot of maneuvers you wouldn’t be able to otherwise, but you also get plenty of restrictions, like not being able to climb up monsters while you are holding something, which makes the gameplay even more tedious, and the direction in which you pick up things can also take some getting used to. It isn’t impossible to get a handle of, but it is just a little frustrating to do so.

Overall, despite some neat ideas and having all of the elements present for a great time, Wario’s Woods is yet another incredibly forgettable puzzle game from the NES, doing the bare minimum for a title from this genre, and providing a good amount of fun for the time that it lasts, but there just isn’t enough there to keep the average puzzle enthusiast entertained for too long before wanting to move onto something else. I would recommend it for those who are fans of puzzle games, as well as those who were fans of games like Yoshi or Yoshi’s Cookie, but other than that, you would be much better off sticking to much better alternatives that were already out by this point. Not only that, but Wario should also stick to platforming, as he just isn’t cut out for the puzzle lifestyle. I mean, what other kind of weird, out of pocket shit could he pull off other than that? I guess it will remain a mystery… anyway, I wonder what Bomberman is up to?

Game #534

In our modern age of remakes, reboots, and revivals, 9 times out of 10, we usually see certain properties coming back that one would typically expect, due to them either having a major fanbase that demands their return, or they have just remained relative enough in the gaming scene to where a developer thinks bringing them back would be a neat idea. But then, you get those revivals, ones that bring back some of the most obscure, dormant franchises seemingly out of nowhere, with a brand new remake or entry in their series just for the sake of it, and while one may question how these managed to be brought back at all, in my case, I am more then happen to see some of these long forgotten series get some more attention again, like with Truxton and Pocky & Rocky. Not only that, but it gives people the opportunity to try out these series for themselves, see if they were any good, and maybe even find some new favorite titles along the way, so I figured I would go ahead and do the same by checking out the original Snow Bros.

I had heard about Snow Bros. from time to time beforehand, but I myself never took the time to play it for myself, because I thought the game looked pretty generic, and I thought it would just be a cheap way to cash in on something like Mario or whatever. But, my curiosity for this title did grow overtime, and when I discovered that this series was being brought back with an all new title coming out sometime this year, I figured I would go ahead and give it a shot. So, I decided to play it, and I then learned that rather than being a straight copy of Mario, it is… a straight copy of Bubble Bobble. Literally, it is basically the exact same game, and I’m not sure how they managed to get away with this without Taito lighting them up with lawyers back in the day, but you know what? After playing through the whole thing, I actually had a pretty great time with it, and dare I say, I think it is even BETTER than the original Bubble Bobble. Yeah, it doesn’t really introduce anything too creative or different from that game, but it manages to improve on certain aspects that I would say was for the best, making for a very enjoyable time.

The story is about as generic as they get, where the princesses Puripuri and Puchipuchi are captured and taken away by a group of vicious monsters, so the princes Nick and Tom, now transformed into living snowmen, must go and rescue them, which isn’t creative at all for a setup, but then again, if you came here expecting some kind of big epic story about some snowmen guys, you have the wrong mindset to be playing this game. The graphics are pretty good, having plenty of colorful stages and fun-looking enemies and characters, while also completing itself with nightmare-inducing boss designs (for the most part), so that is cool, the music is pretty good, having good tunes to listen to throughout the game, but like with Bubble Bobble, there aren’t too many of them to enjoy throughout the game, the control is decent enough, having all of the actions and movement that you would expect from a game like this, although I wish you could jump higher, and the gameplay is also what you would expect from a Bubble Bobble clone, but it still manages to be fun and addicting regardless of what it copied from.

The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of either Nick or Tom, go through a set of 50 levels through five different worlds, take out every single enemy you see by turning them into snowballs and throwing them around the screen to defeat even more baddies, gather plenty of power-ups, food items, and money to either increase your score or give you a bigger advantage over the foes that you will face next, and face a handful of bosses that seem easy to deal with at first, but then get progressively tougher to where you will really need to watch what you’re doing at all times. Those who played Bubble Bobble will know exactly what they are getting to with this title, and it manages to copy the gameplay from that game almost perfectly, with it not only still being as fun and addicting to play as before, especially with a buddy to tag along with, but it also improves on some things I wasn’t quite a fan of in that original game.

In my opinion, the way that you take out enemies in this game, when compared to what came before this, is much more satisfying and rewarding to use. While it does require a lot less skill at times, it is great to just find an enemy, build them up into a snowball, and just launch them throughout the stage, taking out many different other enemies in the process, as they can do nothing about it but prepare for the inevitable. It does make things easier than other games, but not to the point where it stops being fun, and there are still plenty of challenges that you will face throughout your journey. Not only that, but they make getting through this game a lot less stressful and cryptic then in Bubble Bobble. There are 50 stages, which is a lot, but it doesn’t feel as tedious as points as that other game, there are bosses for every world, and they are very fun to take on, while being challenging enough to where you need to be careful with what you do, and there isn’t some hidden, cryptic item you need to get in order to truly beat the game, so thank god for that. And finally, there are the power-ups in this game, which in comparison to BB, are pretty fucking sweet. You get power-ups that increase your speed, ones that increase the range of your shot, one that makes your shots do more damage, and even one where you inflate like a balloon and can fly around all over the place, taking out whatever enemies lie before you. They aren’t exactly the most creative of power-ups, but they do make the experience that much more enjoyable if you manage to hold onto them, and discovering some of them, like the balloon one, did make me laugh pretty hard, so that is cool.

With all that being said though, if you are someone who didn’t really like games like Bubble Bobble, then you aren’t gonna be a big fan of this one, because again, it is mostly the same game. It has all the hiccups and problems you could find in that game, and while I wouldn’t say it hinders the experience at all for me, others may not agree with that sentiment. Not to mention, like I mentioned before, I do have a bit of a problem when it comes to your jump height, as I feel it is way too short. Sure, this doesn’t become much of a problem for most of the stages, but there would be some points where I would end up getting stuck in a level because I would end up in a spot I couldn’t get out of, and none of the enemies would come to me so I could build a snowball to use, making it so that I had no choice but to die and lose my power-ups. That shit is just annoying.

Overall, despite some annoyances here or there with the jump height and some annoying enemies and hazards, Snow Bros. was quite a surprise, being great not just as a clone game, but also as a game in general, providing plenty of fun for those who are willing to go through all of the levels, but not too much to the point where it gets tiring, and with a buddy to tag along, I’m sure anyone could have a great time with this. I would definitely recommend it for those who are fans of games like Bubble Bobble, as well as those who are just fans of arcade platformers in general, because while this isn’t one of the bigger, more noteworthy ones, it is still just as fun as all of the others, and that’s all that really matters at the end of the day. Although, I will say, we never do end up seeing Nick and Tom getting turned back into regular people, so I guess they will just stay as snowmen until they die………. that’s fucked up.

Game #533

At this point in time, Rare didn’t necessarily have the best track record when it came to their releases. Sure, they did have the Battletoads franchise, which mostly managed to have pretty solid games, and they had developed several other games that hold up relatively well, but most of the rest of the games that they have developed were either uninteresting, forgotten, or just straight up terrible. It was enough for them to stay in the business for as long as they had been, but not to the point where they could reach the same level of success and notoriety as other developers, like Capcom, Squaresoft, or Konami. That is, until they were approached by Nintendo who, after seeing what they could pull off with games on the SNES using pre-rendered graphics, decided to give them a shot at developing a brand new game in a similar style so they could compete with what games like Aladdin were doing on the Genesis. They were given the reigns to make a new game in the DK franchise, which, aside from the Game Boy game that had been released earlier in the year, hadn’t really seen any major attention in nearly a decade, and thus, Rare went on to not only make a new game to reintroduce DK to modern audiences, but to also completely re-invent the character and his world, changing both DK and Rare's reputation forever. This would result in what would become the start of one of the best sub-series that DK would ever be a part of, Donkey Kong Country.

I have had quite the history with the DKC series over the years, with my first proper introduction to the series being with DKC Returns back in 2010, when I was still a dumb kid, and I had no clue as to what a Super Nintendo or a Rareware was. Eventually, I would discover the wonders of what we refer to as “retro gaming”, and it would lead to me getting my hands on a SNES for myself, with this being one of the first games that I had ever gotten with the system. I don’t think I had ever heard of the game beforehand, so needless to say, I was excited to try it out, and naturally, I ended up loving it. So now that I am playing it again after all this time, I can say that it holds up extremely well, being pretty basic for a platformer, but having some of the best design, personality, and fun challenges from any platformer of this era, and it successfully managed to reinvent DK into what he would be to this day.

The story is pretty simple, where the villainous King K. Rool steals Donkey Kong’s banana hoard with the help of his Kremlings, which makes DK very sad, so he then sets out with his nephew Diddy Kong to go beat them up and get his bananas back, which is a very silly premise, but one that fits perfectly for this series, and I am all here for it. The graphics are pretty good, not only having a pretty unique style for a SNES game at that point, but also holding up extremely well, with all of the different models for the characters, enemies, and bosses looking very charming, and the environments look just as great right alongside them, the music is fantastic, with there being plenty of different tracks that I still love to listen to to this day, such as the final boss theme, the theme for the first level, and my favorite track in the whole game, the underwater level theme (if I drowned IRL while this music played, I would be going out happy), the control is pretty great, with both DK and Diddy having the proper weight to them, and each action they can perform feels just right on a SNES controller, and the gameplay itself is pretty basic for the genre it takes on, but it still manages to be a solid experience all the way through, and I would rather a game be simple yet solid rather than experimental yet flawed.

The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of either Donkey Kong or Diddy Kong, go through many different worlds, each one containing their own set of levels that will challenge you in plenty of different ways, defeat many different enemies and Kremlings along the way while gathering plenty of bananas, collectibles, and power-ups to assist you on your way, find many of the other members of the Kong family such as Funky Kong, the coolest motherfucker on the planet, Candy Kong, the Kong who made a lot of kids question themselves when they were younger, and Cranky Kong, the Kong who resembled everybody’s grandparents in one way or another, who will each help you out in their own way (except for Cranky, who just says you suck and makes you depressed), and take on plenty of bosses that will prove to be quite the “challenge” to overcome to get your precious bananas back. A lot of it is pretty standard for a platformer, and some who aren’t new to the genre may question why you would bother playing it with plenty of other options out there, but not only does the graphical and musical style help give this game its own unique identity that holds up extremely well to this day, but it also still manages to be a fun game all on its own, with many ways it changes up the formula and keep you going.

For every single level in the game that you go through, there is always something new and exciting waiting for you, even if the changes may not be as big as others. You start out going through a pretty typical platformer level, nothing too exciting for you to see or do, but then you get to levels where you will be going through ancient temples, fighting different foes, finding different animal buddies that can help you take out enemies and give you more momentum, and there are even extreme cases of changing up the gameplay, such as levels where you are riding minecarts, ones where you are grabbing fuel for a conveyor belt you are riding on, and ones where you are turning on the lights to keep the Satan crocodiles from waking up. While some of these gimmicks are definitely preferable over others, each one is very fun to go through and experience, all while the game makes you think more and more about what to do in each situation, even if the goal is obvious.

What also helps keep this game fun and fresh throughout the entire journey would be in terms of its difficulty. For those of you who have played this game, you know it isn’t easy in the slightest, and while I wouldn’t say it is as hard as other platformers out there like Castlevania or Ninja Gaiden, there are still plenty of the moments where the game will test your skills in pretty extreme ways, such as with precarious platforming in plenty of levels, adding gimmicks like wind and barrels you need to shoot out of, timing your jumps on minecart segments effectively, and so many more examples. However, despite how hard it can be, it never feels unfair. There is always a chance for you to figure out what to do, how to overcome these challenges, whether it be through simple trial and error, or just by taking your time, and even if you do manage to fuck up and get a game over, if you have been using save points properly, then you shouldn’t be sent too far back to where it discourages you from continuing forward. Not to mention, it feels immensely rewarding whenever you do conquer some of the challenges in this game, managing to make it to the next save point so that you can press on towards whatever challenge may lie ahead.

For those of you wanting a little more out of your platformers though, fear not, because this game isn’t just a simple “run to the end and you win” kinda deal… or at least, it doesn’t have to be, anyway. Throughout each of the level, there are plenty of different bonus areas that you can access, each one giving you some kind of bonus, whether it be with extra lives, or even by sending you to this bonus area where you can collect all of these golden tokens as one of your animal buddies for even more extra lives! Not only do they help you prepare for the journey ahead, but each one does add to your percentage total, and it can even change the ending that you get if you manage to find everything… which isn’t much different then the normal ending, but it will keep Cranky Kong from complaining too much, fucking old-ass prick. They are pretty fun to go for, not just for the sake of completion, but they can be pretty tricky to find to, making you really look around every corner to see what walls or floors are breakable, and where else you could look just in case you end up missing something along the way.

So yeah, most of this game is a blast from start to finish, but there are some gripes that I have with it that do keep it from being a perfect game in my eyes. For one thing, the boss fights FUCKING SUCK, not because they are too hard, but moreso because they are uncreative and boring. Most of them consist of just bigger versions of enemies that you fight in the regular levels, with some of these even being repeated as the game goes on, and while some of them try to mix things up a bit, it’s only methods of doing so is by either giving you a different weak spot to hit, or just by taking on an enemy gauntlet, which isn’t exactly fun to deal with. The only good boss in the entire game is the final one against K. Rool, because not only does the foe you fight actually put up a fight, but the ways in which he does and when you can hit him is pretty creative, and it keeps you on your toes.

Secondly, while most of the elements in this game are pretty fair, and you can get through a lot of the challenges easily, there are some things that were put into this game that I am just not a fan of. There’s one example of this that sticks out to me as clear as day, and that is with one of the bonus areas that you find in Oil Drum Alley. Whenever you go into one of the other bonus levels in the stage and clear it out, you have to take the barrel that you get and throw it ABOVE the wall that you would normally hit in order to clear it out, which will grant you access to another bonus area you need to go through. If you don’t know about this on your first go, and you end up missing it, you cannot go back and try getting it again, making it so that, if you are going for 101% completion, you are FUCKED. That’s not necessarily that bad for those who just wanna go through the game normally, and I myself have never had this happen to me, but the fact that it can happen at all is pretty shitty, and I’d imagine there is at least one person out there who didn’t know about it, figured out what they was missing, and had their day ruined because of it.

Overall, despite the terrible bosses and some secrets having strict punishments for not finding them, the original DKC is still a fantastic game after almost 30 years, having very fun platforming challenges, wonderful visuals and music, and plenty of things to do for those that wanna go the extra mile that you usually wouldn’t go for in a platformer like this. I would highly recommend it for those who are fans of Donkey Kong, as well as those who love 2D platformers in the first place, because while this certainly isn’t my favorite game in the series, it is still one of the best platformers you can play on the SNES, and one that would launch an equally fantastic series that would continue to get installments for years to come…………. at least, until 2014, that is. Seriously, Nintendo, bring back Donkey Kong in a brand new game already! And maybe also try to bring back the Kremlings while you’re at it, too. That would be nice.

Game #532

Whenever deciding to check out any piece of media, it is always best to keep an open mind. Sure, there are things out there that you look at, get a good idea of what it is all about, and make a proper assumption about their quality based on that, but in many cases, you don’t really know how good or bad a product can be without giving it a proper shot. Hell, there have been plenty of points in the past where I would watch a movie, play a game, or whatever, thinking that it was gonna be nothing all that special, or it would just flat-out suck, and it ends up becoming one of my new personal favorites from whatever medium it comes from. So, I figured I needed to have this type of approach when it came to a game like NBA Jam.

If you have been keeping up with my reviews for a while now, you would know that I generally am not a fan of sports games in the slightest, as most of the time, they are usually not only incredibly similar to each other, but also have zero effort put into them to make one stand out from another, and are just pumped out non-stop for poor souls to waste their time and money on. There are obvious exceptions to this, but that is usually the case when it comes to a lot of these titles, and I had a sneaking suspicion that this game would end up like most of the others. I had heard from many YouTubers and others in the past that, out of all of the basketball games to be released back in the day, or just sports games in general, this was one of the best of the bunch, which made me very curious to try it out for the longest time. I figured it was about time that I do give it a fair chance, and it may not come off as a surprise to some of you, but I actually ended up having way more fun with it then I thought I would. It isn’t anything more than what it is advertised as, so you won’t be seeing anything too groundbreaking from it, but for what it is, it is some of the most fun I have ever had with a sports game in such a long time.

The graphics are pretty good, featuring good recreations of what a lot of the players here look like in real life, and the sprites for the players on the court do look… off, but still well done enough to where you can have a great time watching all of the action take place, the music is pretty good, not being there for a majority of the main game, but for all of the menus and segments, there are some enjoyable tunes to listen to that get you ready to play another round, the control is pretty solid, with you being able to do plenty with so little in order to score points, although it can take a little getting used to, in my case anyway, and the gameplay is pretty much what you would expect, but with all of the personality and energy that you would want from one of these games, which makes it worth checking out above all the rest.

The game is a basketball game, where you take control of one of many, MANY different basketball teams from 1992-1993 and 1993-1994 NBA seasons (depending on what version of the game you play), take on another team in a two-on-two game on the court, get the ball whenever you can to pass to your teammate and shoot it into your hoop whenever you can, use the turbo feature to keep up with the other players and shove them out of the way to make sure they never get the chance to score either, and enjoy all of this without any of the dumbass rules that really basketball has to keep you from going too buckwild… except for goaltending and 24-second violations, because you can’t have too much fun with this. A lot of it is pretty generic for a basketball game, so you wouldn’t really think too much of it on the surface, making you question why you would play it over any other basketball game released at the time or ever since, but if there is one thing that makes this game stand out from the rest, it is the energy and personality that it brings to the sport as a whole.

The game is already flashy and engaging enough with its appealing visuals and sound quality, but then there are plenty of other elements added to spice up the gameplay even more to make it that much more fun and exciting. While the game mostly sticks to the realistic movements and maneuvers one would typically see in a basketball games, there are also a lot of other movements that are over-the-top and greatly exaggerated, making a lot of the actions you can perform throughout the game feel exciting and extremely satisfying. Of course, a lot of that comes from whenever you shoot or dunk the ball into a hoop, and a lot of these movements can be pretty basic, but some of them get so incredibly ridiculous that you can’t help but love them, such as when you are able to not only set the net ON FIRE because of how awesome you are, but you are also able to straight up break the backboard of the hoop, and it is just the most glorious thing that I may have ever seen in any NBA game ever.

In addition to this, you also have an announcer that will be commenting on everything you do in the game, and while he doesn’t really do much to change up the gameplay, I just love listening to this guy talk. He adds a lot of the charm and personality that a game like this needs, and many of the phrases that he does say have become just as iconic as the game itself, with lines like “Boomshakalaka!”, “He’s heating up!”, and “He’s on fire!” being just some of the few most noteworthy ones you can hear. Seriously, how can you not love hearing that whenever you manage to score a perfect shot in the basket? Not only that, but whenever the announcer does say “he’s on fire”, you get an infinite turbo meter for a limited amount of time, making it easy to keep up with opponents, take the ball, and score even more points.

But of course, what would one of these games be without the many, MANY easter eggs that you can find? Throughout the game, you can see plenty of different ones that not only relate to the NBA and the players found in it, but also from Midway themselves and whatever whacky shit the devs thought of including in here. Depending on what version you play, you can enter different cheat codes to play as different characters, such as other players from the NBA, some of the devs that made the game, and even some pretty out-of-nowhere characters that you would never expect, such as the mascot for the Charlotte Hornets and even Bill fucking Clinton! I mean, c’mon, you can’t hate a game that allows you to dunk on basketball players as a former president. Aside from that though, there are also other codes that change up the game itself, such as one that gives everyone huge heads, one that makes all of the floors slippery to where you can fall down if you go too fast, and there is even a secret tank game that you can access just for the sake of it. All of this is incredibly stupid and unnecessary, and yet, it makes the game so much better just by being there, not only for the novelty of being there, but also allowing you to experiment with the many different modes and characters you can play as for many more matches.

At the end of the day though, it is still a basketball game through and through. You run around, shoot hoops, and try not to let the other team score as many points as you do, with there being no other modes to try out, so if you are not someone who enjoys these types of games, or you just aren’t a fan of basketball or sports in general, then you probably wouldn’t enjoy this game as much as others. Not to mention, in terms of the original version of NBA Jam, the one that I played for this review, there have updates to it made over the years which does add more content to the game, so if you are going to play this game, you would be better off sticking to one of those versions over this one. That doesn’t make this version bad whatsoever, but that is still something to consider if you want to play the game for yourself.

Overall, despite how simple it is and how it is outdated when compared to future editions of the game, NBA Jam may just be the best sports game that I have ever played from this era, and it may even be the best basketball game I have ever played in general, having the exact energy that a game like this should have, along with plenty of personality and extras for you to try out that make it truly one of a kind. I would absolutely recommend this game, not just for those who are fans of basketball or sports games, but for anyone to try out in general, because even for someone like me who avoids sports games like the plague, this managed to give me one hell of a good time regardless, and it will probably do the same for you. You see that, modern sports game designers? THIS is what more sports games should be like, alright? Not whatever shit EA usually pulls out of their ass for all the sport cucks to throw their money at every year.

Game #531

To make sure that I keep myself from going insane, I made sure to check out a video of this game before I decided to try and play it, just to see if it actually changed things up from the other two games at all, and spoiler alert, IT DOESN’T. Yes, you can now play as Lala, the environments change as you keep going, there is one new hazard and one new enemy, and you have infinite lives, but none of that matters, because it is the same goddamn game as the last two, and if you ask me, I think I have had enough adventures with Lolo to last a lifetime. So, I will just skip this one, and go onto playing another game that won’t make me wanna throw myself off a tower.

Game #530

Sometimes in life, when you strive to achieve something, but you keep failing at reaching that goal, you just gotta take a step back and realize… you will never reach that goal, and you should stop trying. Kind of a depressing reality, I know, but that was the reality I had to face when I tried to beat the original Puyo Puyo. It was a very simple puzzle game, one that many of us know and love, and one that I was able to get a handle of for a good couple of matches or so, until the game grabbed me by the wrist, threw me against the wall, and proceeded to crush all of my hopes and dreams while I could do nothing but watch and feel bad. It was somewhat discouraging, but hey, at the end of the day, I still managed to have a good time, and that’s all that matters. It just goes to show that, even if I do suck at something, I can still manage to have fun doing it (like reviewing things), so I figured I may as well go ahead and give the series another chance with Puyo Puyo 2- oh, wait, shit, fuck, bitch, tit, I’M SORRY… I meant Puyo Puyo Tsu… because Japan.

The idea of giving this game a proper review wasn’t something that I thought wouldn’t be necessary, and for those who aren’t familiar with it, upon first glance, you could see why. When you compare the two, this seems like it's just an update to the original and nothing more, not just in terms of graphics and style, but also in terms of gameplay, with very little changes made to the formula to make it seem like a proper evolution of the series. However, I then went ahead and did a little digging, and after playing it a bit more, I realized that there was more going on here then I realized. So, with these changes in mind, while I wouldn’t say this is a massive step-up in quality from the original, I would say that this is definitely the superior game of the two, and one that does manage to change up just enough to where it can be enjoyed by more due to the original’s limitations.

In many ways, it is practically identical to that of the original, having the same graphics and graphical style, having the same type of music, same control, same gameplay, basically if you have played Puyo Puyo 1, you have played Puyo Puyo 2 without even knowing it. The only real change is with the story, but even then, it is barely even noticeably different, as not only is it very similar to the original game’s plot, but it is a puzzle game, so nobody gives a shit about the plot! You are still just dropping goo guys down, matching them up, clearing them out when you match four of them at a time, and you can chain combos together to send loads of garbage over to your opponent and prove that you are the true ruler of this game. Any fan of Puyo Puyo can jump in and have a great time with it, as it still is pretty fun to play, and whenever you overcome a strong challenge, it does feel pretty good to pull off.

All of that is well and good, yes, but again, if you are unfamiliar with the game, you may just think it is Puyo Puyo 1 again, so why would you bother playing it over the original? Well, that would be because, for this game, several changes were made to the gameplay and the mechanics, which would not only become staple parts of the series, but would propel the series further into that spotlight where it comfortably sits now. The first of these new mechanics, known as “Offsetting”, makes it so that, whenever you clear out a set of Puyo, and you create clear Puyo to throw down onto your opponents screen, it can clear out any clear Puyo that your opponent had sent over to your side of the screen at that time. That way, you can prevent them from dumping tons of clear Puyo onto your side, and if you are fast enough, you can then send plenty of your own clear Puyo onto their side to screw them over. This, while not sounding like too much of a big change, is an incredible change to the formula, as it gives you the chance to keep yourself from being completely fucked over by opponents, while also not letting the gameplay get too easy to the point where it becomes boring… at least, for me anyway.

The second of these mechanics, known as “margin time”, makes it so that, as the match keeps going, the amount of clear Puyo that one can send to their opponent at a time increases, meaning that, if luck is in your favor, you can turn the tides on a match quickly and keep yourself in a calm, controllable state, while your opponent will be panicking, trying to figure out what to do to come back from what you did. Once again, this change isn’t anything too major, but it does help from keeping matches from going on forever, and again, when you are able to take proper advantage of these changes as the game goes along, it does feel pretty rewarding to do so. And finally, for certain versions of this game, there were several other modes that were made available to play on, such as a practice mode, and one that even allowed up to four player battles. While I myself don’t ever see myself ever trying to seek out these modes in this game, it is cool that that option does exist for those who are fans of the game.

Aside from all that though, there isn’t much I can say about this game that I haven’t already said back when I reviewed the original. It really is mostly just another Puyo Puyo game, and while there are brand new rules in place that make the matches in the game a little more bearable, it doesn’t really give much of an incentive for fans of the original to jump headfirst into it. But then again, from what I could gather, there really won’t be any major changes to the formula until Puyo Puyo 4, so really, I shouldn’t expect too much from these games anyway. They are still pretty fun regardless in the right circumstances, and I am glad that I still decided to give it a shot, even if I still completely suck at it.

Overall, despite a lack of major changes when compared to the original, Puyo Puyo 2 is pretty much a superior version of the original game, keeping the core fundamentals the same, while still being fun as ever, and adding just enough tiny changes to make the experience more preferable over the original any day of the week. I would recommend it for those who are huge Puyo Puyo fans, as well as those who are big puzzle game fans in general, but for everyone else, I would probably just stick to later titles in the series over this one. Although, even then, I’m not even sure I can say that this one is genuinely better then the original, because it never got its own version with Kirby in it. Any true fan of the series would know that that was where it peaked, and it has been downhill ever since.

Game #529

Sometimes, in order to make a worthwhile product in a video game genre that is already bloated at a certain point in time, you don’t need new or exciting gimmicks, but instead, you just need a really solid foundation to work on, and the original Truxton managed to succeed in that department. It was as generic as all vertical space shooters came, with a simple means of progression, a simple power-up system, simple bosses, all that jazz, but it managed to have incredibly detailed sprites, lighting fast gun-fire, and power-ups that made you feel unstoppable when using them, making for what I would say is an underappreciated shooter from the late 80s that more people should give a shot. Despite its lack of notoriety though, it still managed to be a success back when it came out, even if it didn’t reach the same numbers as other games, so Toaplan decided to keep that Truxton train moving right along with a sequel made 4 years after the original, simply known as Truxton II.

Just like with the original game, I hadn’t heard or seen anything about this game before going into, but since I am now a regular shmup geek at this point, it was safe to assume what I would be getting from this title, and my assumptions were proved to be correct when I sat down to play it. So, all that was left to do at that point was to see if it passed the Sequel Test: seeing if it took everything that the original game did, improved upon what had been done there, and make something similar, yet more satisfying to play, and whaddya know, Truxton II managed to pass that test with flying colors… just barely. It is a very fun time, and definitely the superior of the two games, even if it offers nothing new to the genre, and it does have its hiccups as well.

The story doesn’t matter cause it's a shmup, but just in case you were curious as to what it was, the Gidans are back, and you have to take control of the HyperFighter to take them down, which as sequel-y as it gets, but who cares, WE GOTTA SHOOT STUFF! The graphics are pretty good, looking similar enough to the original Truxton, but having much more detail added to the enemies, sprites, and the weapons to use, and it all looks oh so glorious in action, the music is incredible, with there being plenty of kick-ass tunes to destroy everything to, each one fitting the tone for that point in the adventure, and the gameplay/control is the same as it is in every shmup, except with twice the speed, firepower, and explosions, which is quite the improvement in my book.

The game is a vertical space shooter, where you take control of a HyperFighter, go through six interconnected stages, shoot down every single thing you see before it even has a chance at killing you using your main weapon or any bombs that you have in your disposal, gain plenty of said bombs, power-ups, and upgrades throughout the game to give yourself a much-needed chance against what lies ahead, and take on plenty of huge and dangerous bosses, testing your reflexes, skill, and patience in every way you can imagine. Those who had played the original Truxton will feel right at home here, as it is, in many ways, a very similar experience to the original, but hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, y’know? Truxton II managed to stick with that philosophy, while adding very small changes that do mostly benefit the experience as a whole… key word being “mostly”.

When I said they only made small changes to the game, I meant it, as aside from now having an auto-fire mechanic (thank GOD), upgrades that can boost your speed, and the ability to now pick up options for your ship, nothing else has changed. It is the same Truxton you have come to know, except this time now it is bigger, better, more powerful, more explosive, and much more rewarding. The power-ups still manage to provide that kick that a shmup like this needs, with there only being three to choose from, which at first are alright, but then you get the upgrades for said power-ups, and WOO BOY, now we are in business! Like the last game, I mostly stuck with the homing blue laser, because why would I try doing anything else, and not only was it still immensely helpful for taking out hordes of smaller enemies, as well as more beefy foes, but the game still manages to be challenging enough to where I can’t just stand still, hold the fire button, and read a book at the same time… otherwise that would just get boring.

However, despite how welcoming this challenge can be at first, it then gets extremely overwhelming, because this game is HARD AS FUCK. The original Truxton was already pretty difficult, but this feels like it is on another level of hard entirely, with there being points where you will get ambushed by swarms of enemies out of nowhere, needing to dodge what feels like a never-ending supply of bullets, while also having to deal with plenty of other bigger, more durable foes all at the same time. Trust me, you are gonna want to save your bombs, especially for certain bosses, because if you go in without any, you can kiss your sorry ass goodbye. Aside from that though, the only other real issue I could have about this game is that, despite how fun it remains, it is yet another generic space shooter. You aren’t getting anything new or exciting from this, which is not a problem for us shmup enthusiasts, but it will be for those who want a little more variety for their silly little space game.

Overall, despite a lack of change and the ball-crushing difficulty, Truxton II manages to just barely surpass the original game in just about every way, looking and sounding much better, making the gameplay much more hectic and enjoyable, and making the power-ups and upgrades you get all the more useful and satisfying to use. I would recommend it for those who liked the original Truxton, as well as those who are shmup fans in general, because it will manage to give you plenty of baddies to kill, and it will keep you on your toes long enough to where you will feel immensely satisfied when you overcome said challenges. It’s just a shame though that, after this title, there would be no more Truxton games ever made…………….. until 32 years later. Hey, better late than never, I guess.

Game #528

Out of all of the games that was released in the 80s to early 90s that featured Mickey Mouse as the star character, The Magical Quest Starring Mickey Mouse was arguably the best game of the bunch that we would get. It wasn’t anything particularly new or exciting, just being a pretty basic platformer made for kids, but it was still solid enough, had great music, several different outfits to try out and mess around with, and that good ol’ 16-bit Capcom charm that oozes out of every game that they made back for the SNES. Not to mention, since this was Mickey Mouse that we’re talking about, it was pretty successful, selling over a million copies, so naturally, because Disney is all about making that good ol’ mouse money, they had Capcom working on a sequel pretty soon afterwards. Eventually, this sequel would be released to the public, and it would exhaustingly be known as The Great Circus Mystery Starring Mickey & Minnie.

Before playing this game for myself, this was the Magical Quest game that I had known the most about, as I had previously seen it in an unfinished video playthrough on YouTube, and at the time, I thought it looked decent enough. It didn’t look bad, but it looked like an average licensed platformer of that era, and now that I have played the first Magical Quest game, I could also make the assumption that this one wasn’t going to be that much more different or grand compared to the previous entry. I went ahead and played it anyway though, and all in all, I would consider this to be an improvement over the original game, and a pretty good game all on its own. It doesn’t change things up too drastically from the original game, and it is as simple as you would expect, but hey, I will take a licensed game that is simple yet sweet over one that is complex yet rotten, if you catch my drift.

The story is just as simple as the previous game, where Mickey and Minnie Mouse are on their way to meet up with their friends at the circus, when they meet up with a Goofy that wants to end it all, saying that everybody at the circus has randomly disappeared, and Donald Duck and Pluto are nowhere to be found, so it is up to Mickey and Minnie to not only find their friends, but find out what happened to all the circus performers, which is a… very boring plot, to be frank, but it is a Mickey Mouse game, so I’m not sure what else I was expecting. The graphics are… the exact same as the original game, but to be fair, it still does look pretty good, and all the sprites for the enemies, bosses, and Mickey & co. look pretty good, the music is very enjoyable again, still giving off that Capcom vibe, and having plenty of cheery to dreadful tunes to hear throughout, and the gameplay/control is almost identical to that of the original game, but with a few new additions added to make it that little bit more fun.

The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of either Mickey or Minnie Mouse, go through a set of six stages across plenty of different generic settings, run and jump all around while defeating enemies and collecting various items to help you out throughout your journey, either by giving you currency for shops or giving you more health, acquire several outfits that you can switch between at any time to help you either progress through the levels or give you an advantage against the foes in the game, and take on plenty of colorful and cartoony bosses, being easy enough to take on, while not too easy to the point of being boring. Those who have played the original Magical Quest game will know exactly what they are getting into with this game, and in many ways, it stands on the same level as the original game in terms of quality, but it still manages to be fun, while also incorporating previously said new elements to help make it more enjoyable.

If you somehow haven’t already picked up on it already, in this game, you now have the option to play as Minnie Mouse rather then Mickey, and she is… basically the exact same as Mickey in terms of everything, but hey, at least we have the option to play as her at all, so that is pretty nice to see. Not only that, but the game now features simultaneous co-op, where one person plays as Mickey and the other plays as Minnie, which is definitely the best way one could play this game, and while I didn’t play it in co-op, it does look like a good amount of fun to try out. In addition to this, some of the outfits from the last game are gone, but in their place, we now have all new outfits to help us out on our journey, such as the sweeper outfit, which allows you to vacuum up enemies to gain coins from them, and the cowboy outfit, which allows you to bounce around on a wooden horse, jump higher, and shoot a toy pistol to break blocks and take out enemies. While the sweeper outfit is very situational, and I didn’t really use it a whole bunch, I did really like using the cowboy outfit, especially for certain bosses and to help get through tricky spots.

If none of that sounds exciting to you though, then what you are left with is pretty much yet another Magical Quest game through and through. Not only are the graphics identical to the original game, but so is the gameplay, with it playing identically to the original for the most part, and not having that many new or exciting changes to be seen. It still manages to be fun, but again, if you weren’t really sold on the last game, then this one may not be able to convince you either. Not to mention, like the last game, there is also a boss rush, but it is also just as miniscule of a nuisance as the previous game’s boss rush. I would rather there not be a boss rush at all, but hey, a tiny boss rush is better than a regular one any day of the week.

Overall, despite very little change from its predecessor, The Great Circus Mystery does manage to be not only an enjoyable sequel, but still a pretty good game all on its own for the SNES era, providing the same amount of fun and whimsy as before, while also allowing the option for a pal to join alongside you to witness every bit of that same fun and whimsy. I would recommend it for those who were big fans of the original game, as well as those who just like Mickey Mouse and his pals in general, because even if it is a retread of old territory, that old territory is still fun to go back to to this day. Although, with all that being said, we never do end up finding out what happened to those circus performers in the game. Yeah, we defeat the big bad evil guy, and it is assumed that everything is all well and good now, but they never outright say everything went back to normal! So, if you think about it…………. those circus performers are probably dead.

Game #527

They say it ain’t easy being cheesy, and I certainly felt what they meant when I decided at random to take a look at the first game to feature the mascot of Cheetos as its main star, Chester Cheetah: Too Cool to Fool. It was pretty much exactly what you would expect from a cheap 90s licensed game based on a brand of snack foods, being incredibly generic, having terrible control/movement speed, some of the lamest excuses of boss fights I have ever seen, no inclusion of continues or passwords whatsoever, and just having that feel of a cheap product smeared everywhere you look. It wasn’t completely terrible, but it was just bad enough to where I would swear off Cheetos for the rest of my life, sticking with Doritos from now on in case I needed some cheesy snacky goodness. Although… it has been quite a while since we did play that game, and I have had a hankering for some cheese-covered corn chips that aren’t shaped like a triangle……… ah fuck it, why not, I’ll have some more again. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? I would have to play Chester Cheetah: Wild Wild Quest? Yeah right, like that would happen…………………… wait, oh shit, I’m typing a review right now… which means………. NOOOOOO-

So yes, for some reason, I guess Too Cool to Fool was successful in its attempt to swindle money out of all the poor kids from the 90s in exchange for cheesy garbage, so as a result, it managed to get a sequel just one year later, and naturally, I wasn’t looking forward to playing it at all. Sure, the original game wasn’t terrible, so I didn’t immediately think this game was gonna be terrible, but there was still a good 99.9% chance it could’ve ended up being god awful. Finally though, after putting it off for long enough, I decided to give it a shot, and it was bad… but thankfully not doomsday levels of bad. For what it is worth, it is an improvement over the original game, and it does have an approach to gameplay that I prefer way more than what that game gave me, but it still manages to be cheap, licensed garbage that is just about as appealing as taking another bite of those god-forsaken chips.

The story picks up right from where the last game left off (I think), where while on his way to Hip City, Chester Cheetah loses his map due to Mean Eugene, the villain from the last game, chasing him down and ripping it up into ten pieces, scattering it all over the country, so it is up to Chester to get the pieces back to reach Hip City, which, much like the plot of the original game, is clearly perfect in any way, and if you question it or dislike it whatsoever, you simply aren’t wild enough to go on this quest. The graphics are… admittedly better then the previous game, with there being a lot more consistency in what you see and new environments to run through, but it is still mostly just a bunch of random colors thrown on the screen, the music is… actually not too bad, with there being several tracks that I ended up liking as I listened to them, but maybe I just have garbage taste, and the gameplay/control is, also admittedly, better than that of the original game, but not only does it still have some hiccups to be seen, but it doesn’t do anything to… you know, get creative.

The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of the raddest cheetah you have clearly ever seen, Chester Cheetah, go through a set of 9 and a half levels that take place in various locations around the United States, run and jump your way through these levels while bouncing on enemies to take them out, gather plenty of items that can either give you extra lives, a means of progressing, or an extra chance just in case you get hit, and fight several bosses that are about as complex and fun to fight as me counting the fingers I have on one hand. It is as creatively devoid as any shovelware game from this era can be, offering nothing new or exciting from many other games of the era, but again, it could’ve been a whole lot worse.

First of all, you can now choose to go through any of the levels in any order you want, which is pretty nice, even if none of the levels are that exciting or different from each other, and speaking of which, the levels themselves are pretty short, with you being able to run through them very quickly, so that helps out a lot when you want to get through the game as fast as possible. Not to mention, it isn’t simply just about reaching the end of the stage, as you will also need to find a piece of the map along the way, which is pretty neat… or at least, it would be if most of the map pieces weren’t just lying around in broad daylight, just waiting for you to grab them. Seriously, you could’ve at least hidden them a little better this time around.

And finally, like I mentioned earlier, this game actually has boss fights! No more awkward, dumbass endurance tests like from Too Cool to Fool, for instead, we have full on fights with various lovable characters from the Cheetos franchise, like Mean Eugene and… uh… Mean Eugene! As for the boss fights themselves, they are… ok. They are pretty simple, just your typical “bop them on the head three-four times to win” bosses, but hey, they are at least more fun to deal with then the shit from the last game. Not to mention, some of them can be pretty tricky if you don’t take advantage of some of the moves that Chester has at his disposal.

But now, it is time to get into the issues that ruin the game, with the first one being, of course, the controls. You all ever seen that Family Guy cutaway gag that involves Chester Cheetah snorting Cheeto dust like it’s cocaine? Well, I feel like I’d have to do the same thing to be able to play this game properly, because not only does Chester once again have inconsistent running speeds (even if it is improved from last time), but there were many different moments where it just felt straight up unresponsive. Moving felt incredibly stiff, and a lot of the time, whenever I would hit the jump or run buttons, the game wouldn’t register it at all, and I would end up dying in some scenario because apparently I wasn’t allowed to hit a button then. Not to mention, you die in one hit if you don’t have a bag of Cheetos, meaning it is most likely you will die to a lot of things that you can’t see coming or properly avoid.

And finally, there is slowdown EVERYWHERE in this game. When it comes to the SNES version of this game, it feels like this game can’t just go five seconds without some kind of slowdown issue occurring, and it’s not as if there are that many enemies on the screen when it happens either. I don’t inherently have a problem with slowdown too much in video games, as sometimes it can actually be helpful, but I do get bothered by it when it either effects my gameplay negatively, or it is constant. This, my friends, is the latter. Aside from all that though, a lot of it is your generic licensed game affair, being a pretty unpolished platformer that can be beaten very quickly, if you can get a handle on the shitty controls.

Overall, despite the improved gameplay, the inclusion of boss fights, and not being long enough to get mad about, Wild Wild Quest is yet another pointless piece of shovelware for a product that really didn’t need any kind of advertising like this, being as basic as it gets, having flawed fundamentals, and is about as slow as a slug that is being burned alive from having salt poured onto it. I would only recommend this for those who liked the previous Chester Cheetah game, but for everyone else, there are plenty of better platformers from this era, licensed or otherwise, that you can play over this. But anyway, with all that out of the way, I think I am now done with Cheetos for good, for real this time! Don’t need anymore shitty food-related games to ruin my day. Although, I am getting kinda thirsty… ooh, hey, when did this can of 7UP get here?

Game #526

I think it’s safe to say that, at this point, we have reached the start of what could be considered as Double Dragon’s mid-life crisis. It has had plenty of games at this point, each of them playing very similarly to each other while changing up elements every now and then, but over time, the games in series have been getting worse and worse, whether it be because of mechanics that ruin the game rather than enhance it, poor design choices seen everywhere you look, or just simply being too bland and boring when compared to many other games from the beat-’em-up genre. So, now that we are at the point of seemingly no return, what could Double Dragon do to possibly redeem itself after a handful of misfires? Well, of course, by throwing all of that shit completely out of the window, and doing something completely different! It’s a fool-proof plan, what could possibly go wrong?! Well, if Double Dragon V: The Shadow Falls is anything to go by, everything can go wrong.

Rather than being a typical arcade-style beat-’em-up like every other game in the series, Double Dragon V was a fighting game, taking the Lee brothers and many other “well-known” faces from the series and making them fight to the death… supposedly. Not only that, but the game was primarily based on the Double Dragon cartoon series that was airing at the time… which I have never watched in my entire life, so that’s how you know that I am a proper candidate to fully judge this game. And finally, just to cement the feeling that this game was doomed from the start, it was not made by Technos, but instead by a completely different company named Leland Interactive Media, who I am almost certain you have never heard of in your life… again, what could possibly go wrong? So yeah, as you would expect, this is not really a good fighting game at all, or even a good game in general, but I wouldn’t say it is thaaaaaaaaat bad. Trust me, I have played Doomsday Warrior, so I know how bad one of these things can get, but not only does this game not come anywhere close to the same quality as other fighters at the time, but it doesn’t even try to be anything more than what it already is.

The story varies depending on who you play as, so assuming you are playing as one of the Lee brothers, the evil Shadow Master has created a virus known as the Shadow Plague, which he intends to spread all over the world with the help of his Shadow Warriors, so it is up to both Billy and Jimmy Lee to go put a stop to their evil plans, which sounds like a story that came straight out of a Saturday morning cartoon……… making it perfect for this game, since it is literally based on a Saturday morning cartoon. The graphics are good, having plenty of stages to fight in and having cartoony enough designs for both those and the sprites of the characters, although I will admit, some of the designs for the characters are either flat-out terrible, or just ugly, but not purposely ugly, the music is… definitely music, being energetic enough for a fighter, but something that you won’t wanna listen to after a while, especially with several tracks reused plenty of times, and the gameplay/control is the fighting game standard, with all the functions, moves, and features you would expect, but with a few more to try to convince you it is better then it is.

The game is a fighting game, where you take control of one of ten characters, either one of the Lee brothers or a member of the Shadow Warriors, take on plenty of different opponents in many different locations that are as generic as you think they are, throw out plenty of punches, kicks, combos, projectiles, and super moves to weaken your opponent further and further, make sure to dodge and block when appropriate to make sure to block any sort of attack that they try to throw your way, and check out the rest of the modes of the game that will allow you to do the same things again, but somewhat differently. For a fighting game, all of this is pretty standard, nothing too exciting, so as a Double Dragon fighting game, it manages to do what you would expect any of these games to do that takes a non-fighting IP and brings it into the genre, with a few unique features that do make it stand out from others.

In terms of the gameplay, once again, it is your typical fighting game affair: one-on-one battles where you jump around, throw out different combos, and try not to get slammed on your ass, while throwing out special moves to take down your opponents quickly. Most of it is nothing that you haven’t seen before from other fighting games at the time, with the exception of the Overkill mechanic, where whenever you defeat an enemy while using a certain attack, they will get straight up killed (most of the time), with a unique death animation playing alongside it that actually did manage to surprise me whenever I accidentally pulled one off while playing the game. If you think about it, these are essentially just Brutalities from Mortal Kombat before they were even a thing, and they are cool to see, even if some of them are repeated amongst several characters, and others are just… stupid.

In terms of everything else though, there is actually quite a lot here, with there being many different modes for you to try out just in case your typical vs. match gets too boring for you. There is, of course, said Vs. Match, where you can fight another opponent one-on-one to see who is the best, there is the Tournament Mode, which works pretty much like your typical Arcade mode, complete with multiple endings for every character you play as, there is the Quest Mode, which is the story mode of this game, but it plays mostly the same as Tournament Mode, except with little bits of dialogue in-between matches, there is Battle Demo mode, where you can put two CPU opponents in a ring and… watch them fight it out……… just in case you got tired of playing the game yourself, and finally, there are the Dossiers, which gives you info on each of the characters in the game, with the info itself being both hilarious and awful at the same time. Seriously, if you haven’t read some of these things, please do, because they are ironically really funny. But anyway, all of these modes work well enough for what they are, not delivering anything more than what you would expect them to, all meant to just fill out the Fighting Game Checklist so that you won’t be bitching about any of them not being there.

Speaking of bitching, it’s time for me to start my bitching, as all of the problems this game has lies within many of the typical areas. Most of it is very generic for a fighter, just selling itself as “a Double Dragon fighting game”, but not doing anything more to convince you to play it over others, and fighting game syndrome does play a factor in several instances, even if it is more manageable with the Options setting. When it comes to the gameplay itself, it feels pretty rigid, not feeling as bad or restrictive as other games like Doomsday Warrior or even the original Street Fighter, but it doesn’t feel as responsive, satisfying, or fluid as other fighters, even from this era, making it less then ideal for a fanatic of this genre. It’s not flat-out terrible, but you can definitely tell that a lot more can be done to improve on the experience.

Overall, despite a good handful of modes to mess around with and fun enough characters to try out, this is certainly not how you take a popular franchise like Double Dragon and make it into a fighting game, having no unique identity of its own, playing poorly when compared to others, and not providing any reason to want to fully explore it to see all the endings for all of the characters. I would recommend it for those who are big Double Dragon fans, as well as those who are fighting game fanatics out there, but there are many better options that you could try out instead, both in terms of fighting games and the Double Dragon series. And to think, this is only the first time we would get a Double Dragon fighting game, as one would be released just one year after this one. Although, I’m not sure how that one is gonna compare to this game, which has a wonderful assortment of characters like Bones, the skeleton with a machine gun, Icepick, a cyborg made of crystals that make him look like ice, and Dominique, a dominatrix wearing a skin-tight black suit, complete with a whip and a huge set of hooters……………………. alright, who let Leland Interactive Media put their fetish into my Double Dragon game?

Game #525

When you are making something that is supposed to fall under the horror category, what is the one primary goal that you want to accomplish with your idea? The answer might not be as crystal clear as you think. Of course, most would probably expect the product in question to try to scare you, or to make you feel some sort of uneasiness, which would make sense, as for every great horror movie, game, or whatever one could point out, they have some element that either makes you uncomfortable, nervous, or just straight up scares the fuck out of you, which leads to them having much more of a lasting impression on the audience. That’s not all that a piece of horror media could do though, as they could shift gears from focusing on scaring you to giving you an action-oriented spectacle, just generally being spooky, or even to make you laugh. But, what happens when something related to horror, specifically a franchise, starts out with the intention of scaring you, only to then start to go in a completely opposite direction? Well, in this possible scenario, you could end up with something like Alone in the Dark 2.

I had a curious mindset when it came to going into this particular game, because I wasn’t quite sure what they were going to do with it compared to the first game. Based on screenshots, it didn’t look like it was going to do anything too drastically different from the original game, and the game’s promotional tie-in, Jack in the Dark, may as well be completely unrelated to this, so I figured it was just gonna be more of the same with nothing else to really show for itself. For the most part, I was right in my assumptions, but at the same time, there was something very… different about the game that I couldn’t place a finger on for the longest time, but I knew for a fact that, whatever it was that this game was trying to do, it certainly wasn’t as effective as the original game. It is still a good game though, having all of the same “lovable” elements and quirks that the original game had, but also taking a massive shift in terms of its approach that I wasn’t necessarily the biggest fan of.

The story is somewhat similar to that of the original game, which takes place three months after the original game, where a young girl named Grace Saunders is supposedly kidnapped and taken to a mansion by the name of Hell’s Kitchen (not that Hell’s Kitchen), and when a private eye named Ted Stryker goes to investigate, he mysteriously disappears as well, so it is up to Edward Carnby to go find out what happened to them and uncover the secrets hidden within the mansion, which is a simple enough set-up that you can get behind, only for it to go overboard (almost literally) in the second half of the game. The graphics are about the same as the original game and Jack in the Dark, and by that, I mean it looks like Elon Musk’s wet dream made into a game, but it does still have a certain charm about it that I can’t criticize too heavily, the music is good, even though it has that problem of being played over and over again once more, but at least the tracks themselves are good enough to where I don’t get completely sick of them, and the gameplay/controls are almost identical to the original, both to its benefit and detriment, but the approach to this style of gameplay and controls is… kinda messy.

The game is a survival “horror” game, where you take control of both Edward Carnby and Grace Saunders, alternating between the two throughout the game, go through plenty of locations, both outside and inside of the mansion, fight off against the many different zombie, ghosts and ghouls that you will find within the mansion using whatever tools you happen to find, find many different items and tools within the mansion that can help you out in numerous ways, such as healing you, giving you a means of defending yourself, or solving the game’s many puzzles, uncover the mystery behind what is going on here through many different logs you will find along the way, and try not to get scared along the way…. even though nobody would ever genuinely be scared of any of this. Any AITD veteran will know what they are getting into with this game, as it functions and plays identically to that of the previous two titles, making the game a good time for those who are adjusted to its quirks. However, the approach to all of this, like I have alluded to earlier, is slightly different to that of the original, which somewhat drags it down.

Despite the fact that the original game was not scary in the slightest, the game was at least TRYING to primarily be a horror game, with a foreboding atmosphere, a few enemies that are still deadly if you don’t know how to properly handle them, and a properly spooky environment, which is mixed with the awkward controls and camera angles to make a game that would scare whoever played it, or at the least, make them uneasy as they kept going… at least, it would’ve back in 1992. With this game, however, it shifts heavily from trying to be a horror game, and it more so focuses on the action elements of the game instead, with you now having to face against a group of pirate spirits, as well as the many other things that try to kill you in the game. This, if you ask me, was not the way that a game series like this should’ve been handled at all.

Now, I’m not saying that this ruins the game in terms of its atmosphere or presentation, because once again, these games aren’t scary, so there isn’t much to gain from that perspective either way, but what this change does ruin is how the player approaches the gameplay and the challenges it provides. From the very moment you take control of your character for the first time, you have to quickly kill an enemy that is right by you, and then you have to quickly move into a hedge maze located nearby, while fighting off whatever creatures you may encounter while doing so, or else you run the risk of dying immediately. They just throw you into the fire, without giving you any time to get adjusted to the controls or what’s going on, which may not be so bad for those who have played the previous games, but newcomers will pretty much be boned from the moment they press start.

This is, of course, paired with the fact that you have to deal with the controls used for attacking foes, and the same camera angles from the original game, and you have something that I wouldn’t necessarily call fair a lot of the time. But, with all that being said, none of this makes the game any worse. Fundamentally, it is still Alone in the Dark, which means you still run around, solve puzzles, find items, and defeat enemies in the same way, and it still manages to have that old-school charm that isn’t preferable compared to what other games since this have done, but it can still be fun to mess around with. Not to mention, in terms of the camera angles, they are handled much better off here, with there being none that are too difficult to manage, and none that are zoomed out way too far to where you look like a tiny little speck, so that’s good.

Really, aside from its shift towards action-oriented elements, I didn’t have too many problems with the game as a whole. It does kind of suck that it doesn’t really do anything to change up the gameplay whatsoever, making it feel kinda bland in comparison to the original, and if I had to give one complaint to the game overall, I would say that solving some of the puzzles can be pretty cryptic at times. Yes, I did use a walkthrough to get through this game, just like with the original, but there were still points where I got stuck because things aren’t properly conveyed to the player well enough at points. There is this one part in the game where you can’t proceed forward until you have done everything in the specific area that you are in, and I for the life of me could not figure out what I was doing wrong. I did everything the walkthrough said, I was looking around all over the place, and I had defeated all the enemies, so I was clueless as to what to do next. However, then I noticed that there was one item that I didn’t get before, and the item in question was not only incredibly tiny, but the color of said item made it practically blend into the floor, meaning that the game wouldn’t let me progress all because of this one tiny, miniscule item that nobody would be able to see without knowing it was there to begin with. Yeah, that’s my fault, apparently.

Overall, despite its shift towards action elements, some cryptic parts that can go fuck themselves, as well as… pirates being a thing, I would still say that AITD II is a good game, continuing the same basic gameplay that the original game established, while also branching out the story, environments, and enemies that you fight to where it does feel unique in comparison to its predecessor, even if it is lacking in innovation. I would recommend it for those who were fans of the two previous games, as well as those who don’t mind a little jank every now and then, because despite how jank it is, it still manages to be an interesting example of survival horror in its earliest stages. Although, now I’m wondering, since we now have ghost pirates in this game, how are they gonna top themselves with the next game in terms of the enemies? Are there gonna be ghost aliens? Ghost ninjas? Ghost cowboys?................................... please tell me it doesn’t actually use one of those things.

Game #524