More like NinjaBAD GAME HAH!

As the 3D platformer guy on my friends' Discord server, I sort of felt an obligation to at least dip my toes into the waters. That, and they were really begging for content. So I, knowing full well that this was considered one of the worst video games of all time, took the plunge and lo and behold, it's even worse than what I've seen.

Shitty camera angles that often pop into walls behind you or to the side of you with no freecamera control. An uncomfortably narrow FOV and a super close camera at times that prevent you from seeing your enemies. A really uncomfortably fast character with no sense of agency or pacing that has trouble landing on platforms because the hit detection for landing onto the ledges of platforms is extremely poor, so you'll end up falling a lot. Some of the shittiest motion controls I've ever experienced for a sword that works 25% of the time and shurikens aiming that doesn't lock onto enemies without several failed attempts (much less my problems even getting the Wii remote reticle to appear), not to mention that attacks feel like they have no impact due to lack of vibration/satisfying sound effects and spongy enemies with limited hitboxes/damage on your attacks. No map at all in the game; you just get an orange arrow pointing at... something. Nothing is explained very well in the game, so I was collecting these things and running away from these things as a lifeless being that emits no sound or personality in a lifeless N64 texture world that all looks the same but doesn't loop in any meaningful way being chased by annoying and bland enemies that fired barely perceptible projectiles at me and collecting things that I suppose had to be collected to progress while listening to the same generic droning guitar tune on loop. Oh, and checkpoints aren't explained at all but I think they exist, and I don't believe there are any free health pick ups unless you fight the spongy and annoying enemies which deal tons of successive damage, so is it worth it, really?

It took me a solid 5 minutes to enter the final door of the first level by the way, due to the wack detection of the doorframe and the fact that my character couldn't land on the elevated top due to the controls. Not even Balan Wonderworld can make this shit up. So the answer to the previous question? Yeah, probably not.

Not very good, but it does do something that my precocious teenage self desperately always wished more things did with wrestling adaptations all those years ago: just go completely into a nonsensical realm where the Undertaker has green slimey energy attacks and Vader gets ram horns as he charges you like he's a Battletoad.

Wrestling is an absurd theatre; real human beings pretend to be superhuman and above mortality doing stuff that, if anything (and often unlike regular theatre), just accelerates that mortality by ludicrous amounts. As such, the idea of simulating wrestling has always struck me as a fruitless endeavor; wrestling is already pretending to simulate some higher reality. Why not make more games where that higher reality is fully realized and not lethal to the people pretending? Why make it into a yearly Sports Game™️ franchise?

BIG respect to the fact the game had to make up fatalities for each wrestler in this. My favorite is the one where Ultimate Warrior just uses lightning to obliterate his opponent into pieces. They'll be talkin' about THAT match for a while, Vince!