This game embodies an adrenaline rush. This hard-hitting, almost rythym-like, blood bath of a game truly sets the bar of what an "Action" game can be. While it aims to criticise grandiose violence by doing it in an exaggerate way, it didn't quite nail its message. The story is kind of a mess and focuses more on style and presentation instead of adding any real context. The story feels more like a backdrop - a means for the player to justify his actions and continue playing. The secret ending did not help the story at fucking all.

In the end, this trial by error gameplay is just too damn good. Play it.

A perfectly middle-of-the-road runner game that, for some reason, I decided to 100%
Most of this was easy. It's a fine enough game save for some bugs where you escape into the infinite dark void, finally freeing the character until you decide to reload.

But then there's "Mass Creation".

Mass Creation needs you to "interact with 10000 objects". I'm still not 100% sure what counts for this, but it is the only achievement with this high of a bar to clear in the whole game. I certainly did it though. It took me over a year on and off, but I did it.

Fuck.

To preface: I'm very interested in HalOpe, and Starbage's work in general, and I think this is a really cool project for them even if it didn't hit me the same way I was hoping it would. I think this game is fine, I just have some constructive critiques!

HalOpe's main mechanic is dialogue, which contains loose puzzles (bring an item to a character who sounds like they want that item) but mainly exists to convey tone. Unfortunately, the writing suffers from sticking to a static voice, which makes that primary mechanic a lot less exciting as you enact it with roughly the same expected results over several conversations. Most characters will have the same awkward inflection, and a lot of their characterization is shown through the use of ellipses, outside of some more confident monologues about their struggles. There are outliers in the form of the occasional "RPG Maker freak" NPCs that we always love to see, a ghost girl or a shadow creature or a self-aware monster with a goofy dialogue gimmick, but HalOpe stays relatively safe with the types of sprites you're shown (mostly cute girls*, which isn't a bad thing direction for the art, but leaves a little wanting when they're mostly all the SAME cute girl with a slightly different flavor), and these "RPGMFs" don't serve a big purpose, even as comic relief or abstract horror as we see them in other games.
It's a shame, because the art is pulling a lot of weight and I want to be more interested in the characters for how well they're generally drawn, but more often than not they exist as little more than an almost self-aware NPC type that acknowledges it's weird to ask the player for help with a mundane task, but needs to for the sake of the game working. I made it about halfway through the game before I decided it wasn't entirely for me and I wasn't necessarily getting anything new and different from the experience, but I did look at a playthrough to glean some more of the visuals, and man I love the pastel area you get to later on. I don't want to say the world feels less "alive" than it could, because that implies I want it to be bigger budget or something, but I would really love to see it fleshed out a little more, even cluttered up and more experimental.

I'll be looking out for what Starbage does next!! I hope they keep making games!

I'm not giving this a low rating to be contrarian or whatever. Genuinely think this is a bad video game.

It starts out really strong then immediately nosedives into a corridor shooter, and soon nosedives once again as the narrative pivots to just terrible territory.

Absolutely dreadful by the end.

not very good, but in a way that kind of rules? it feels pretty horrible and the level design is monstrous, but there's funny monsters and a suprisingly unique combat system. it has a sprawling and sometimes jazzy soundtrack despite having the aesthetics of a bad power metal album. i dunno, there is something admirable about any moment in history that can birth games that are both basically trash but also surprising and novel. like hell yeah nastar, sure, i dont give a shit about your greased-up beefcake but im glad youre going for it and you've done gone slathered the boy up

Alright World of Goo; you asked for the truth, now here it is.

I love you: you're beautiful, you're charming, and I can't fucking stand you.

Some may look at your art style and see it as derivative, the amalgamation of Invader Zim-ian quirky-and-edgy joy through the scope of Newgrounds circa 2007, but I love it all the same; It reminds me of the best of times and the worst of times all same.

Even your music, simple and stylistically homogenous as it is, still brought a smile to my face...

No, I'll tell you the reason I truly can't stand you anymore.

I wish there was a nicer way to say it, but... It's your physics. Uncooperative, clunky, grueling, by any other name the word is just as true: My time with you was one of constant struggle. I would labor on marvelous constructions, towers to symbolize all you stood for, and a meager misplacement would have minutes of work, as many as five, or ten even, crumbling to the floor.

First, I blamed God, for forsaking me once more; then, my crosshairs were directed at gravity, the loathsome force; but eventually, I knew the true patron of my patronization.

It was you, World of Goo.

My towers, my creations, meant nothing to you. You would scoff at my attempts, laugh at my failure, and refuse to even glance my way at my myriad victories. It was you -- It was always you.

So knowing this, I have no choice but to part ways with you, wistful World, glorious Goo, Opulent of. You give me no choice, and your bitter banter at my behest broke my brain. Our time was short, but a single second longer in your company could only spell disaster...

Farewell,
Roxy S. Gaming

Far and away the most egregiously misguided attempt at myth-making in games history. This isn't the worst game ever. It's not the weirdest game ever. It is not the 'first American produced visual novel.' Limited Run Games seems content to simply upend truth and provenance to push a valueless narrative. The 'so bad it's good' shtick serves only to lessen the importance of early multimedia CD-ROM software, and drenching it in WordArt and clip art imparts the notion that this digital heritage was low class, low brow, low effort, and altogether primitive.

This repackaging of an overlong workplace sexual harassment/rape joke is altogether uncomfortable at best. Further problematising this, accompanying merch is resplendent with Edward J. Fasulo's bare chest despite him seemingly wanting nothing to do with the project. We've got industry veterans and games historians talking up the importance of digital detritus alongside YouTubers and LRG employees, the latter making the former less credible. We've got a novelisation by Twitter 'comedian' Mike Drucker. We've got skate decks and body pillows and more heaps of plastic garbage for video game 'collectors' to shove on a dusty shelf next to their four colour variants of Jay and Silent Bob Mall Brawl on NES, cum-encrusted Shantae statue, and countless other bits of mass-produced waste that belongs in a landfill. Utterly shameful how we engage with the past.

Bonus Definitive Edition content:
Limited Run Games is genuinely one of the most poorly managed companies on earth and I will never forgive them for giving me a PS5 copy of Cthulhu Saves Christmas instead of what I had actually ordered, a System Shock boxart poster. They also keep sending me extra copies of Jeremy Parish's books. Please, I do not need three copies of Virtual Boy Works.