I think everyone on this website is due one review that's much longer than the game deserves, for something that you really feel passionate about. For me, I've been keeping my thoughts on games in google docs for longer than this website has been a thing, and this is the first game I've ever given a flat 0/10. When I'd given .5s before, I was pissed off. The Suicide of Rachel Foster made me angry, Silent Hill Ascension made me angry. Beyond Two Souls just makes me feel amazed, because every single chapter is shit in a different way. The game is so bad it got David Cage sued for "accidentally" modeling a nude Elliot Page with explicit denied permission, and that's before he got outed as being a sex pest to his employees.
It's like the difference between grading a test with scribbles all over it and a test that's legitimately trying to answer all the questions, with work shown in full detail, that just so happens to have its logic completely wrong. I've played worse games, plenty of steam shovelware that doesn't deserve the silicon it's printed on, but no game is made with such passionate shit ideas as this one, IMO. So I'm gonna go through chapter by chapter to get out every thought I had on this game as like, catharsis and for my friends who were curious.
Prologue: Doesn't matter at all. It's 4 seconds long and serves as a vague framing device. Could be removed from the narrative entirely and lose nothing, but prologues and epilogues are artsy so of course there's one here.
Broken: The actual in medias res opening of the game isn't much better. It does the job of a lazy in medias res opening, but this game doesn't need one because it's told out of order anyway. Why not just show us the chase scene? Why is the end of a later scene tacked on here even in the remixed order in the rerelease?
The Experiment: The best chapter in the game. I'm serious. See, I picked this game off ps plus because I heard that it was the one David Cage fans didn't like, so I figured it might be a diamond in the rough. This chapter got my hopes up, because in it you do an interview with Willem Dafoe (i cant remember the character's name and who cares) where you demonstrate Aiden's psychic abilities. I picked up on some cool meta narrative here that would, for a little bit, continue on in the rest of the game. See, you can just do as your told, but being a ghost is fun, so you futz around in the other room and freak the lady out. Everyone is upset and screaming, but you're just playing around. That's good! That's tying my actions as the player to the actions of the ghost. It's too clever for a David Cage game, and it got my expectations up, even if the dialogue was already starting to suck. Maybe this wouldn't be bad?
The Embassy: It's neat, I guess. Jodie is escorted to generic arab embassy party by some guy who we'll get to know later on in very extreme detail and has to use ghost powers to read some secret files. Pretty cool setup to a spy game that doesn't happen. Beyond Two Souls wants to be about 8 different games, and this is the first early sign of that.
The Party: And it all came crashing down to reality here. The Party demonstrates the worst problem with this kind of game in a way that also demeans women in a way that appears in every David Cage game. Jodie goes to a party and doesn't know anyone. You can try and blend in, but no matter what you do, you will be tormented by the other kids. There is no path in which you do not wind up getting carried to a closet while the other kids chant "burn the witch". You've seen movies, you know how this scene goes, and it's exactly as predictable and boring as it's been since every other media property with a supernaturally inclined kid slaps it in for fake drama. Also they call the like, 13 year old a slut over and over, which was weirdo energy even before it came out David Cage was a sex pest, and now it's even more gross. You have no choice to avoid this, or the other sexually demeaning scene in the game which is far worse, because while David Cage thinks choices matter in games, his fetish shit is mandatory.
The First Interview: The game will do "Jodie is introduced to Willem Dafoe" about 4 times before it thinks you get the picture. This chapter isn't particularly bad because it's like 5 minutes long, but it's exactly what you'd expect from the moment the scene starts. The game does get pretty unpredictable later on, to put it nicely, but for the first half it's so fucking by the numbers it makes you wonder what the point of this game was beyond hiring David Cage's favorite actor to be in demeaning situations for him.
Welcome to the CIA: A training montage for the game's """"combat"""". See, as opposed to other games of its nature, including Heavy Rain and Detroit, Beyond Good and Evil Two Souls has no button indicator for QTEs in combat. The game goes sepia toned, and you juuuuust kinda guess which direction to push? Sometimes it's obvious, sometimes it's not. Also features our first, and hardest stealth segment because if spotted, you will fail the mission and have to restart. I will explain why this is an issue in greater depth when the game starts getting racist, but for now, just note that guards can spot you from wherever the fuck they want to and Aiden's distractions barley help. It's also completely arbitrary which guards you can force choke with ghost powers and which are immune to 5g, because it's still diagetic game design if they're highlighted red in detective vision, I guess.
Hunted: Here is a scene of Jodie running from the cops for way, way too long with bad QTEs being the only choices you make in the whole chapter. This is also the first time Aiden shows his true power level, as he can possess people, create force fields, and take down helicopters using the power of friendship. It's never exactly elaborated on what Aiden can do, and this is far from the most OP he gets in the story, but once we're taking down helicopters and swat teams I start to feel like maybe any danger Jodie is in is just because the game has arbitrarily restricted me from using my full toolkit.
My Imaginary Friend: Shows Jodie before going to the CIA facility as a kid and her stepdad is abusive because of course he is. Jodie gets into a snowball fight with another kid at one point and you can choke out the other kid and he runs away calling you a witch and it's supposed to be sad and not hilarious. We also get our first glimpse of the main villainous force of the game this chapter, flying squid things that look like BTs from Death Stranding.
The Condenser: Beyond The Garden Wall is bored and wants to be resident evil for a bit. You get sent into a government lab to shut down a portal to The Infraworld(tm) that squid things are flying through and killing everyone from. You fight some possessed scientists - the only other possessed characters in the game by the way - who talk like Pazuzu because of course they do.
Homeless: You know that trope that preppy screenwriters do where the characters are homeless for about 5 minutes and encounter a troubled but tight knit community that teaches them the value of togetherness and the main character brings something to the table that helps everyone get into a better position, or even no longer be homeless if the story is particularly stupid? Yeah this is that. Seems like nobody at the homeless camp had tried being incredibly good at everything and having superpowers before. The writing is probably at its best here despite all the shit I just said, because it's mostly just characters talking about day to day life. Still, David Cage of all people making a chapter where his favorite actor gets to be homeless for a bit and learn all the wisdom of the world is what I think they wrote Holiday in Cambodia about.
First Night: It's the SAME it's the fucking SAME CHAPTER AGAIN. STOP STARTING THE GAME AGAIN. WE DON'T NEED THIS MANY FIRST INTROS.
Like Other Girls: The sexual assault chapter every David Cage game is proud to call their own. Jodie goes to a bar to meet some friends, they don't show, and then you can guess the rest. Fun fact, when one of the rapists invites you to play pool, you can say "No", to which he'll say "please" and then Jodie will just say yes for you. Not so fun fact, David Cage originally recorded lines and planned for you to BE ABLE CHOOSE NOT TO STOP THE RAPE IN PROGRESS which are STILL IN THE FILES. What is there to even say about that? Christ.
Alone: A 2 second scene of Jodie's parents abandoning her to the CIA facility. You can choke out her stepdad who proceeds to call her an evil witch monster or something. Bullshit the game doesn't let you kill him but at this point I was numb.
Navajo: Oh boy, the longest chapter in the game and the really, really racist one. It's a bit more racist than the really racist one we'll see later, so I make the distinction. In this chapter, Jodie wanders into a ranch where a few Navajo people live, digs up the bones of their ancestors, and using the power of friendship banishes the ghost that had been haunting their farm for centuries. To directly quote the game, "They were too hateful towards the white man, it blinded them". In the end of this chapter you do a ritual to banish the monster and you have four people surrounding a circle but you need five and everyone shouts "WE NEED ONE MORE SOUL" and "WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH SOULS" until you Beyond Two Souls all over them. David Cage writing this chapter https://theworldoffeathers.com/cdn/shop/products/4.png?v=1504116462
Separation: Welcome to Ryan's World. From now on this is Ryan's game and he's gonna make sure you know it. CIA operative Ryan whatsisface walks in to your lab while you're doing card tricks or something and demands that you join the CIA, telling you he doesn't give a shit about your teenage tantrums. Ryan's like, late 20s early 30s at this point and Jodie is 18 at most. Why is that relevant?
The Dinner: Yep! You're fucking Ryan now! Inbetween him tearing you away from your found family and being a nonentity in other chapters where he shows up, Jodie has fallen in love with her CIA handler. I have to give this game props, because getting groomed by the CIA in this game actually predates discord by a few years! Wow! You have 1 hour to prep a dinner and try and get into Ryan's pants as Jodie, and then you can choose, as Aiden to fuck up the dinner and make Ryan leave. Ryan does absolutely nothing but insult you the entire fucking time, by the way. If you didn't manage to clean up in time? He'll comment on it. Burned the food? He'll comment on it. When I finally made him leave he commented that Jodie needed to get Aiden under control. Of course, Ryan being just about the worst person ever written makes this a hilarious chapter, because I'm throwing wine bottles at his head and smashing TVs while he's trying to neg Jodie into sex. Chapter's funny in a slapstick way if you ignore how gross Ryan is as a character and also ignore all of the other Ryan shit that's about to come. It's worth noting that even the Beyond Two Souls wiki shittalks Ryan pretty much every time he shows up.
Night Session: A 3 second cutscene where Willem Dafoe's wife and daughter die in a car crash and Jodie has a premonition about it. I guess this is so Black Sun doesn't come out of nowhere later.
The Mission: You are tasked with infiltrating Generic War Torn African Country and killing a Generic Military FPS Faceless African Warlord. It's about as jingoistic and hooh rah as you'd expect. You even team up with a child soldier at one point and use Aiden's powers to knock down walls so he can shoot enemies. But uh oh, after the mission it turns out that you actually killed the democratically elected president and Ryan, your supervisor, lied to you to get you to do the mission. What a twist! Your child solider buddy even screams and yells "PAPA" between poorly google translated arabic when he sees that you killed the group of soldiers. I'm not a plot hole andy, but why was our child soldier friend so keen to shoot the enemy soldiers when his dad was a part of the same group? Anyway after Ryan says he's distinctly not sorry and will do it again, you jump out of the moving helicopter door and I guess Aiden shields you from falling to your death.
I did mention that I would talk about the combat here, so let's get into it. The Mission is much easier than the previous combat chapter because David Cage's hill he absolutely insists on dying on is that Game Over screens are a sign of weakness. Because of this, there are no failstates in Beyond Two Souls. If you fail a QTE at any point, the screen will flash red, but you'll perform the same action as if you'd succeeded. If you fail a stealth section outside of training, you'll just run back into cover unseen. Occasionally the game will repeat a set of QTEs until you get it right, but more often than not, it will just push you forward regardless. The game will also choose dialog options for you if you take too long. The game fucking plays itself for about 70% of the runtime, and the rest of it is spent moving Jodie with pseudo tank controls and a camera following her that legitimately made me motion sick sometimes. It follows behind her but not quite but zooms to wherever you tilt the stick but it's also got a track it wants to stay on and it's just bad. This game is bad.
Old Friends/Norah: Combining these because they both flow into each other without a chapter break and Old Friends is 2 seconds long anyway. Cole from the CIA lab facility (the good CIA facility not the bad one!!) comes to inform you of The Plot. The CIA is making another condenser but that doesn't matter because Jodie's mom has been found and she's in a psych ward. You break into the psych ward, with Cole commenting "Gah, crazy people freak me the hell out" as you walk through a very nice looking facility without any notable incidents. Jodie then finds her mom in a room, catatonic, and psychically speaks with her in the void because she can do that now. You have the option of killing her after, which I thought was a QTE to cure her, so I laughed out loud when the heart monitor flatlined.
Briefing/Dragon's Hideout: The Republic of Kazirstan has developed weapons of mass destruction and we're sending in Elliott Page to Radio Free Asia the bitch. This is the mission where you go to the Beople's Bepublic of Bhina and go destroy a ghost base underwater. You're helped on this mission by Ryan 😘😘💋💋 and two other guys who don't matter. I have to wonder what the point of making a fake country was when all the soldiers speak mandarin and wear chinese military uniforms with an original flag copy pasted over the chinese flag. Like, it's super shitty when Call of Duty makes a fake arab country to disconnect the enemy faction from any real world stakes or people so they have a nameless evil to fight that will make the US look good, but I understand why they do it at least. This is so fucking blatant that nobody is fooled by it and it just looks stupid. My friend who had seen the game beforehand even forgot it wasn't just China. They make you kiss Ryan without any input in this chapter so it gets a minus a million points.
Hauntings: Jodie uses her ghost powers to torment the recently bereaved as a child. Exists entirely to pretend that Black Sun doesn't come out of nowhere.
Black Sun: The chapter begins with the success of the mission to destroy China's ghost portal, and the confident announcement that The Afterlife Is Real and Now Owned By The USA. Rather than the existential horror the statement deserves, Jodie quips for 20 minutes and then gets betrayed by the CIA. You have to ghost trick Ryan 💋💋💋 and Cole to untie you before Willem Dafoe destroys the world because he can't see his wife and daughter unless he's dead and he wants to merge the spirit world and the real world. Bit late for that to become a thing, but alright. I mentioned before that this game wants to be 8 different stories and I didn't pull that out of my ass. It wants to be, in this chapter, a story where experimenting with the other side causes drastic consequences ala Death Stranding. It wants to be a character driven story about dealing with having ghosts in your blood in a post cocaine society. It wants to be CoD with ghosts, presumably after feeling conned by the real Ghosts. It wants to be Carrie. It wants to be Ghost Trick. It wants to be James Bond. It wants, perhaps more than anything else, to be Cage's wank material. Here you go through an entire game's worth of shit in like 2 minutes because I guess Willem Dafoe's contract needed him to turn evil and this was the most seamless way to do it. When you and Ryan approach the haywire condenser to shut it down, Willem Dafoe is searching for his loved ones and comes to the conclusion, "ah, i should just kill myself" and he does and is immediately reunited with his loved ones and vanishes, which is a great message, and one that the game will follow up on very shortly. Ryan gives you his anti ghost belt to get you to go shut down the machine, not before one last insult, and you do just that.
The Final Choice: When Jodie shuts down the machine, she's presented with the choice to either go to the Infraworld or go back to the Real World with Ryan. Specifically with Ryan, the game makes it very clear that Ryan is the enticing factor here, and it's because of that I legitimately sat at this screen for a while. See, this choice is shit. Giving us the choice of "kill yourself or don't" is fucking stupid in any narrative. There is no narrative payoff if the only thing gained from the entire experience is the same thing Jodie could have had at any time. It's gross that the game shows death as the light side, the safe choice, the good choice. In a game that weren't Beyond Two Souls, this would sour the whole experience and make me leave negatively. In this game? I'm met with a dilemma because on the other side is Ryan. Ryan has, at no point, dropped being a smug douchebag who manipulates and takes great joy in manipulating you and everyone else in his life. He is the single worst love interest I've ever seen in a video game. So choosing between what I thought was an epilogue filled with Ryan, and an ending that has the same sentiment as this https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FnJ9EEAacAEc419?format=jpg&name=small was harder than it should have been. In the end I went with staying alive because I figured I could at least see what became of the world after the fact. Surprisingly, you are allowed to ship with a handful of the other male characters along your journey, or nobody, but the game will default to Ryan if you're not quick on the draw and even if you don't pick Ryan you get a cutscene where he says he'll wait for you to make the right choice.
The game ends with a sequel hook, Jodie and Ryan with guns facing down the apocalypse, regardless of who you picked. Given that every A-List actor involved hated working with Cage, and Elliot Page is a different gender now, and also sued David Cage for being a sex pest, and given David Cage's next game is announced for 2028 at the earliest, I don't think we're getting Beyond Three Souls and I think the world is better for it.
Conclusion: Usually with games I don't like, I can at least see why someone would enjoy them. Even my previous worst, The Suicide of Rachel Foster, for as morally bankrupt as it is, has a few redeeming qualities that could be stretched into an enjoyable playthrough if you ignore enough of the questionable aspects of that game and were drunk maybe. Beyond Two Souls is unique in that every time I thought of a single thing to give it credit for, the game would remind me in a new and fascinating way why it was shit. On the surface, it's a game made by a sex pest that broke actor's consent for sexual content and that's enough to label the whole thing as a pile of shit that you should feel bad for liking, but there's so much under the surface. This is the kind of game that gives everything I play for the rest of the year a buff because at least it's not Beyond Two Souls.